I love you I really do!

[year2027]

God first

I love you I really do!

12-22-2009

As I think on life it make me cry I think what might have been if I had a fare change in life at all but we know things are always fare. What have I given to this world I can tell a lot stories about my life and I can cry because it not fare.

But I whether share love no matter how much pain I feel I dream at night I am being hit by all people in this wicket world. Monday I have to see a mental doctor for Social Security it makes want to cry.

Have they took enough from I ask do they know I go sleep and feel them hitting me over and over? When I think on what I could done in my life if it was from everybody having a big laugh on me.

But they were young too and do not blame anyone and they know the pain I would have to live with. I did not speak plain but I never given a change to learn and first grade teacher might took advance of me.

The last time I try to talk to mental doctors they made it worse because I would obey them I told myself I rather die then give them a change again. I practice holding my breath with my mouth wide open controlling my breathing.

It is possible to will one death but I do not want to do that but I will not be puppet in a play even Einstein would want that. I see Einstein has a lot like me he saw himself traveling on beam on light.

Math was always my strong suit and was Einstein his too if school would of given me the change I wanted. So I could have been has smart as Einstein or even smarter but wisdom is not measure that way.

Is wisdom a matter of how much you can love your brother because we are all flesh and bone? Is it measure by how much you can take because I have my share a long time ago and wish other could see this?

I am not by myself God has place in my path many friends but in school I was a lone but not I have friends. As I think what is normal I hear voices my mother who is no longer living Adam the first men to live and many more.

To hear the fleshly dead people is not wrong but to not understand would be wrong but to understand it’s the glory of God. My mother has become part of me just like Adam part of self the, we in my mind.

I am who I am and the, we of my mind that gives me the strength to overcome more wisdom Einstein when he my age. I love you but its hard now because of the many things happen in my heart.

The pain I must travel through on a bean on God, which is faster than any light bean that Einstein saw himself riding on. Pain can be overcome just like life can overcome with death I hope it will not come to this but it in another one hands.

Fhould I been laugh at one more time to make them happy do they get their fun laughing at me. Maybe they think its funny to tier me to a bed like told she told me I knew why they did it to me so many years ago.

Because they could do it in 2002 when my mother was hospital for caner and my mother die 2005. I was fighting them because I find out they were fools I caught them lying to they and me want me trust them again.

I getting tired so I will leave you now maybe we will talk soon maybe not but no matter what I love you because I lost for words. Thank you very much I love you with love and a holy kiss Roy.

[excathedra]

i love you too ~ so much !!!!!!

happy holidays dear roy

[year2027]

God first

hi excathedra

thank you very must i love you too

with love and a holy kiss Roy

[leafytwiglet]

HI Roy,

Sending warmest wishes to you and hugs

Life is never fair is it... but I find it is better if i look toward the good days and focus on them.

I know you usually do this too.

Take care.

With Love

Leafy!

[waysider]

Happy Holidays, Roy

Holy hugs to ya, Bro.

[year2027]

God first

hi leafytwiglet and waysider

holy hugs brother's

today was better maybe will not too bad

thank you

with love and a holy kiss Roy

[leafytwiglet]

Yay Glad to hear you are feeling better.

God Bless you Roy!

Sending Holy hugs your way!

[year2027]

God first

thanks leafytwiglet

with love and a holy kiss Roy