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You Know Things are Screwed Up When


Tzaia
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you are told that God made your kid sick because you were not "abundantly sharing".

Technically, what they said was that if you didn't abundantly share, there would be a break in God's "hedge of protection", thus leaving you vulnerable to attacks from the adversary.

Or, more precisely translated----"God made your kid sick because you were not 'abundantly sharing'". :wink2:

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You know things are really screwed up when its the *leader*'s kid (or spouse, or sibling) that is sick, because of *your* lack of abundant sharing.. or believing, or faithfulness, or whatever.. maybe its from the debilish dust bunnies running amok behind the refrigerator..

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You know things are screwed up when the limb leader tells you that you have jeopardized your entire spiritual future by ---ummm---err--- "spending Saturday morning" with your new bride instead of cleaning your FLO house.

Oh, the shame of it all!

Edited by waysider
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You know things are screwed up when....

1) Wierwille teaches that "all women in the kingdom belong to the king."

2) Corps women are instructed that "serving the mog sexually" is one's duty to God.

3) Cgeer mandates that anyone found having read Schoxnhe1t's adultery paper will be fired.

4) Walter Cummxxs claims that a research paper on adultery is NEW RESEARCH.

5) Martindale issues a loyalty letter for compliance to twi.

6) Splinter groups nation-wide structure *their* group in the reflected glory of pfal.

7) Gullible people follow the same scam and teach their children to do so (also).

8) Personal prophesies of nose-spiders arise in another christian EDUCATION service.

9) Another pilot program, SOWERS, is modeled after the defunct grandpa corps program.

10) The tail of legalism is wagging happy-go-lucky dog.

:o

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You know things are screwed up when....

They bluster/threaten about The Power of God backing them up, ... and when you stand up to them, and have them actually exercise said spiritual authority, ...

... they wimp out. Cut and run style! <_<

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You can't give someone particularly close to you (as a beloved friend for example)...you cannot give that person a gift, lest it be considered a bribe. The only exceptions may be immediate family, brother, sister, parent, child. And there must be sufficient reason for said gift such as birthday,anniversary, significant achievement (graduation) or birth of a child.

Edited by krys
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you seek out what you believe will be wise counsel from your limb leader regarding challenges other "believers" accuse you of having (but you don't seem to see) because of your marriage to an "unbelieving believer". You are convinced by said limb leader that the "unbelieving believer" is holding you back in your service to God and that your only two choices are to either stay married and never achieve your potential with God or leave the "unbelieving believer" and go wow (grow spiritually ten years in one!).

So you leave the person you swore before God to love, honor and cherish til death do you part, go wow and into the family corpse only to be tossed out in the first week for being found out to be a lesbian sneaking a child molesting homosexual teenager onto "their" campus. Of course, you've sold all your possessions and poured every penny you had into the so-called theological education program so where are you gonna go and how are you gonna get there? And of course, they never allow you to know or face your accusers.

Yeah, definitely way screwed up. Survivable, but outrageously screwed up.

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Waysider, that didn't happen to us (T-Bone was making a joke) but it's about par for the twi-sted thinking cult.

You know things are screwed up when the corp's 3rd aide beyotch of a nurse yells at you for "putting poisions" in your four-year-old child by giving him doctor-prescribed antibiotics for a raging ear infection instead of putting a clove of garlic (!) in his ear. He got the antibiotics, he's fine, she can go-to-he!!

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You know things are screwed up when you think the class "Dealing with the Adversary" should be called "An Introduction to TWI."

You know someone is screwed up when they think "VP said it; I believe it, that settles it."

You know things are screwed up when you find out the literal translation according to usage of the Ways Corps motto is "It is written in PFAL."

You know folks are screwed up when they renew their minds to how things are screwed up.

You know you're screwed when you don't have the believing to unscrew the screwed.

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When you get yelled for not vacuuming the LC's house incorrectly. After getting there at 7 AM to clean HIS house! Rrrr... And my house did NOT get cleaned because he lived an hour away.

For those of you who are not spiritual enough, there should be a checkered pattern in the carpet fibers after vacuuming PROPERLY. Like the lawn on a golf course. No, really. I am NOT making this up. Who knew? :realmad:

JT

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No no no, JT. The pile should all run perfectly in the same direction.

After you have vac'd thoroughly, then you draw the vac back over the carpet to lay the pile nicely.

Then - get this - you walk across the middle of it.

That's because carpets are to be walked on, not admired.

Well...that's how they did in at the Aud on that red carpet on the top landing.

Must remember to walk on it.

...chequered pattern??? That would probably get you bounced back to dishroom duty.

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No no no, JT. The pile should all run perfectly in the same direction.

After you have vac'd thoroughly, then you draw the vac back over the carpet to lay the pile nicely.

Then - get this - you walk across the middle of it.

That's because carpets are to be walked on, not admired.

Well...that's how they did in at the Aud on that red carpet on the top landing.

Must remember to walk on it.

...chequered pattern??? That would probably get you bounced back to dishroom duty.

[how does one make a chequered pattern?]

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When you get yelled for not vacuuming the LC's house incorrectly. After getting there at 7 AM to clean HIS house! Rrrr... And my house did NOT get cleaned because he lived an hour away.

For those of you who are not spiritual enough, there should be a checkered pattern in the carpet fibers after vacuuming PROPERLY. Like the lawn on a golf course. No, really. I am NOT making this up. Who knew? :realmad:

JT

Unthankful Sods.

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You know things are screwed up when you are blamed for summer thunderstorms in the Midwest because you were not prepared for camping...

You know things are screwed up when you are exposed to pornography at 13 (CF & S)...

You know things are screwed up when one of things you are taught is that Eve had sex with the Devil...

You know things are screwed up when you are told not to go on the Internet and research about your "Ministry"...

You know things are screwed up when you are told what to teach at "fellowship"...

You know things are screwed up when you have to "report back" every hour while on vacation...

You know things are screwed up when God suddenly changes His mind and only wants 10% (at least or God won't even spit in your general direction) of your NET income INSTEAD of your GROSS income...THANKS GOD!!

You know things are screwed up when you are told you will be a greasespot by midnight if you leave a fake ministry!!!

8 years and counting, baby!! :dance:

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