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"Characters" We knew


crystalclearblue
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I was thinking of some of the characters in twi. There was this one striking tall woman. When I first met her she spoke plainly. Then a few years later, she started sporting a jamaican accent. When asked why the change in accent, she would make up stories that were obviously not true.

She was faking. Previous to this, I once heard her ream out a teenager at the adv class. She ripped this teenager to shreds because the girl said she did not know how to counsel an older married couple with problems in her twig. It was at lunch. This tall woman started yelling at her that she'd better overcome the fear or SEED BOYS would trick her. There was no Jamaican accent back then. She was nuts, and this teenager was devastated and humiliated. The kid was only talking with new friends at lunch and godzilla interupted and ripped her to shreds.

But I have to say, I cracked up everytime I saw her pretending to be this wise Jamaican woman after this.

What characters do you remember?

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I remember numerous people who were mentally deranged that somehow found their way to twig or a larger meeting...(these folks were generally easy marks in regards to "producing numbers"...but they never had the money for the class)...I recall one woman in particular who was both elderly, obese and alone who came to one of my twigs...she would occasionally jump out of her chair, shake her fingers in the air and say "praise Jesus"...I thought it was fine entertainment but others got upset...

...there was another guy who came to my twig after getting out of a mental institution...he tried to set my house on fire in the middle of the night. I was fighting quite a spiritual battle as I ran across the lawn in my underpants...

...Ahhhh, the memories.

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Robert H*nks. Robert had been kicked out of the Oakland branch for reasons unknown and was going to twig in Alameda. He was older and a little retarded. He didn't have much interest in God or TWI, but seemed to enjoy ogling the young women. Our branch leader seemed to think that having him around was a good thing to humble us. That was until Robert got caught after twig with his hand in the horn of plenty...

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Well, I did know a woman once in TWI who obsessed about her colonic function to the point where she would actually drink a cup of water mixed with one-half cup of flax seeds, go on fruit fasts, and wanted to discuss her bowel function with almost everybody around.

I thought that was a somewhat strange thing to be chatting about; she didn't trust doctors, I guess, but with all the colon cleansers out there now to be enjoyed, I expect she's a happy camper.

WG

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Our most memorable fellah was very (very!) tall, answered to Robert and was Schrizophrenic. He'd be still and quiet one second and then the next he'd pop up out of his seat during fellowship and head for my kitchen and tip the sugar bowl, emptying most of it in his face. Then he'd wander around the house for a few minutes, rummage through the fridge or cupboards, ready for the coffee and cookies?

Sometimes Robert would circle the kitchen/dining area and repeat whatever was being said in the fellowship before he returned to his seat.

Finally he'd find his seat in our living room again. Sometimes he'd arrive in the middle of the day and just hang with me; never long, but long enough to consume his sugar from his bowl and leave as abruptly as he arrived.

I started keeping an extra sugar bowl just for Robert so the rest of us didn't have to be served from the one he'd been licking.

He had a very cool snake that he'd invite our oldest over to watch eat it's mouse from time to time.

I forget what ever happened to Robert.

Edited by Shellon
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Oh, the weird people at fellowship let me count them. One lady would bark like a dog when

people were singing. Not loud, just soft barks. Another gal had no medical problems but would

shake all the time when people would talk to her. I guess she knew if she stayed around for a while, she would be yelled at and was getting ready. We called her Shaky.

The guys were even more colorful. One young man felt it was his job to inspect the branch leader’s underwear drawer. He later was busted being a peeping Tom by the police. Funny part

was when he was arrested it was during a class. The same branch leader bailed him out..

This other guy was convinced he could talk to his dead mother and she was watching him. He kept a picture of her in his bible and talked to her. The great leadership we had then made the call to not tell him the dead were dead. He was signed up for the Way of abundance and Power class and we all know how tactful lcm was in that class. Needless to say during the dead are not alive session he jumped up flipped a table over screamed many dirty words about lcm and the way and left.

This old man would pick up cigarette butts off the ground or out of the ashtray outside and put him in his pocket. He smelled awful, we called him Smokey.

This gal came with her three kids and she was a bit wacky, but her 7-year-old son would pee in

the corner after every fellowship. Then he would pull the cats tail and try and take it home, they let him take the cat. He would hide it in his coat and this poor cat was screeching to get away. She brought her babies daddy one time and he was drunk and threw up in the middle of a teaching.

I honestly believe in the depths of my heart, the best and most wonderful people I ever met were

in the way. The worst people I ever came across were in the way. The people that had problems were attracted to the way. That in a nutshell is the way.

copenhagen

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In my previous post, I expounded on the new or regular people in the way. Now I will be talking about those wacky leaders. I will skip the a-holes that wanted me to clean their home, tend to their lawn,garden,rake the leaves or fix their cars.

Let’s talk about the leaders that could only lead in the way. I moved to a new area for a job and

went to this little fellowship for about 3 weeks and the ladies in the fellowship came to me being the only other male in fellowship besides the leader. The said we need help talking to Bob (fake name). I said is it because he has been fired from three jobs in three weeks or that he drinks a six-pack every night? They expounded that he never can keep a job and has had not had one longer then 2 months. They went further and said he does drink every night but if it’s less then

10 beers he won’t call and want to talk at midnight. They wanted to talk about his extreme body order. I knew he smelled but I just thought that a man in his 40’s who drank that much and could not keep a job, the bo was a little less important.

The limb cord who had a big box of porn I found when I was moving him.

The limb cord’s wife who liked to have young male believers come over for lawn work and take off their shirts.

The branch leader who always had young women come over and give him backrubs when his wife was out of town.

The fellowship leader who always talked about sex , even during a teaching..

The list goes on and on…

copenhagen

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Here are just a few:

The mafiosos who were "hiding" at hq because the mafi@ would kill them for becoming Christians if they found out.

The branch leader who taught everyone in the way home about there being 150 different kinds of weeds in the yard that we could eat if we had to if the illuminati took over.

The next branch leader who had extreme b.o. ... didn't believe in using antiperspirant...and ended up marrying someone from Poland. Are still blissfully together by all accounts :)

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  • 3 years later...

I was thinking of some of the characters in twi. There was this one striking tall woman. When I first met her she spoke plainly. Then a few years later, she started sporting a jamaican accent. When asked why the change in accent, she would make up stories that were obviously not true.

I know Im late in responding but this sure sounds like a lady I knew in Oakland. Was she a Black lady? Her name was Angela and she wasnt faking. She was from The Islands and relocated to NY. The accent in/out is common in that situation. She wasnt faking, but she was bisexual. Caused a real stink in the Bay Area...

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Hmm. Never saw this thread before.

I met a guy at the 1986 ROA in tent city. He was from Philadelphia, PA and he called himself Stretch. He was harmless, but definitely a 'character'.

He had a mannerism he used several times during my encounter with him. He'd be talking about something, either a person or the accompanying situation, and he'd stop and say, "C'mere" in a normal tone of voice. He'd come maybe 2 feet away from me. Then he'd say a few more sentences and again say, "C'mere", this time in a whisper, then he'd come almost face to face and give further lowdown info about whatever it was. It was kind of humorous, but, like I said, he was harmless.

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