This is a great place for figuring out the bigger picture…Like when the pieces of the puzzle in my head fall in place with what someone else shared…kinda upsetting at first…but gaining a better understanding of my TWI experience & the mental baggage makes it worth it to me.
Unlike you I didn't lurk for very long before I joined the forums, but I know that once I did join and start expressing myself, it was like a switch got turned on and it took about a year or so before I ran out of things to ask, discuss, or comment about... there was just so much bottled up inside that NEEDED to come out, and this was the place for a lot of that to happen.
Glad you're here, Brainy! (We hardly ever call anybody by his full screen name!) Enjoy what the cafe has to offer: TWI venting, shoulders to cry on, political discussions, games, photos, the fun never stops. And we'll look forward to enjoying what you have to offer!
it takes a lot of work to heal from a place like twi. my healing involved a lot of sadness and anger, plus learning how to forgive myself (I don't forgive twi or their bullies. you'll find differing opinions on that here, but I maintain that it's not a requirement to forgive them) so I can move on. I've been attacked and made fun of by a few select jerks (vpw apologists), but everyone else has been very supportive and understanding. I especially like how the vast majority of people here are ok with everyone feeling and believing something that is different and not ridiculing someone who is working through something painful.
it was easier to get out of twi than it has been to get twi out of me.
Brainfixed, your reaction sounds entirely normal! You may find your opinions changing around quite a lot, as you begin to THINK and actually form your own opinion.
Who knows what will spark off something else in your mind, or in someone else's? It's your mind, you just sweep out the rubbish in it. Nobody here minds unless you are malicious. We're all busy doing the same!
thanks you guys for being supportie and understaning and helping me to see that it's kind of "normal" what i'm going through being here, and thnaks for sharing your thoughts and feelings because this all helps me alot and it really helps with the panic. haha. :)
Hi Brainfixed. When I first came here i would have said I had no real issues but I have found there were a few and sometimes a post that you would not think will upset you sends you into a tailspin.
I have also found that if I don't want to post my thoughts directly to one of the threads I can always Private message one of the participants or one of the other grease spotters.
Anyway hang in there and be sure to pick one of the none serious threads as a place to post that has nothing to do with the Way and everything to do with fun or just being silly.
It is a breath of fresh air to be able to freely speak your mind. I have benefited from what other people say and hope other have benefited from things I have said. It is very healing. So…speak away. :)
i didn't know i came here for help, and i didn't think i was going to give anything more than some participation on the "fun" discussions, and i didn't know that i could heal from being here. amazing what this place does to me. :wub:
Absolutely! I found my *voice* here for the first time in my life. I was allowed to say what I thought, what my impressions were, what I endured. I didn`t have to defer to my husband, my leader, filter everything I felt and thought to make sure that it was spiritually acceptable...etc.
Trust me, the first time I posted, I called my husband and cried, sure that I had forever shamed him some how. For the first few months, I required him to read and scrutinize every post to make sure that I wasn`t spiritually off....lol
He told me that I was allowed to post...(hee hee) but musn`t let what I read cause me to become *negative* about twi...LMAO!!
We have both come a long long way in learning to think for ourselves. Greasespot has been a huge part of that :)
One of the things TWI did for us was to eradicate our critical thinking skills. (You can think anything you like, as long as it doesn't disagree from the TWI take of the day.)
Coming here for the first few times was shocking. How could people post such things? How could they be so anti-TWI? How come their opinions were so "off the Word"? How come after such teaching, they could think such weird things?
But the variety of different responses on most forums really gives any reader the opportunity to start thinking again. We've all come from more or less the same place, and our thinking has splayed out in all sorts of directions. Some people's posts ... still seem out there. Other posts really help me evaluate what and why I think something. So actually just being at the Cafe is a good critical thinking tool.
Brainfixed, you might find you go through a whole lot of different opinions before you finally work something out for yourself. Enjoy!
i don't know what's going on but i feel somehow emptied out and like i've said everything i need to say and that there's not anything left inside, but it's not a "bad" thing but just empty and i feel pretty good.
i didn't know i came here for help, and i didn't think i was going to give anything more than some participation on the "fun" discussions, and i didn't know that i could heal from being here. amazing what this place does to me. :wub:
One of the things TWI did for us was to eradicate our critical thinking skills. (You can think anything you like, as long as it doesn't disagree from the TWI take of the day.)
Coming here for the first few times was shocking. How could people post such things? How could they be so anti-TWI? How come their opinions were so "off the Word"? How come after such teaching, they could think such weird things?
But the variety of different responses on most forums really gives any reader the opportunity to start thinking again. We've all come from more or less the same place, and our thinking has splayed out in all sorts of directions. Some people's posts ... still seem out there. Other posts really help me evaluate what and why I think something. So actually just being at the Cafe is a good critical thinking tool.
Brainfixed, you might find you go through a whole lot of different opinions before you finally work something out for yourself. Enjoy!
Twinky made some good points which highlight a great feature of Grease Spot – the value of differing viewpoints. And I agree with her mentioning the whammy TWI does to one's critical thinking skills. The mental atmosphere in the world of TWI acts like a sedative to the powers of reason. We were encouraged to absorb rather than analyze doctrine & practice. Grease Spot is a great place to reactivate certain areas of the old noodle that we let fall asleep. When I first joined, I was amazed at how often something another poster said would resonate with me – not only that it would ring true for me but was like some kind of mental accelerant – that would get me thinking about other stuff…to question more…or realize how this related to that, a pattern, recognize a faulty assumption I had, etc.
Any viewpoint differing from TWI's standards was unacceptable – and to even consider such thoughts was akin to playing with fire – you're putting your faith in jeopardy - at the risk of tripping out and/or becoming possessed by one or more devil spirits. Behold the incredible reign of TWI's intellectual tyranny…geez it was like the invisible fence they have for dogs – your mind would cringe getting close to the areas they roped off…."Nope! Don't go there! That's the world, full of nasty devil spirits & unbelievers."
I said something about not using such broad brush strokes in describing my experiences on your "good times" thread. Another thread came to mind today – it's an old one – "Do You Throw Out the Baby with the Bath Water?"
Maybe the thinking is that the broad brush strokes are a quick fix. But life is complicated - stuff is so intertwined - belief systems, experiences, relationships, feelings, yada yada - ya can't go into brain surgery with a chain saw - well...not without a license anyway.
~~
Sometimes discussions that analyze TWI stuff can go very deep – in terms of scope – meaning discussions may touch on more than just a particular doctrine or practice. And so my viewpoint, the sum total of my experiences & current belief system is in play as well. That's not a bad thing necessarily – as long as I'm aware of what's going on in the background. Probably this is obvious to some folks – but it took me awhile of coming here to figure out that when I was analyzing something about TWI – in a way I was also checking out my own current belief system. I don't think anyone can be totally objective – and believe it's safe to err on the side of caution – meaning my own beliefs can be suspect at times. But I will say this about Grease Spot – after leaving behind the groupthink of TWI – this place is just the opposite. And often I find some of my thoughts and feelings validated by what other Grease Spotters have expressed. It's the cure for the common groupthink! In other words – it gets you thinking !
After leaving TWI I had a crisis of faith at one point. Did I even believe in God or trust the Bible? Eventually I came to an affirmative answer on both…So, I figure in any critical thinking task there's always some assumptions – a standard, reference point, what have you…In regards to analyzing TWI doctrine - for me it's an assumption that there is a God and the Bible is inspired of God. That got me into reading commentaries, systematic theologies, and various biblical studies [the various authors coming from different backgrounds – and none affiliated with TWI, of course]. Not saying doing all that is even necessary – but for me it was cuz I enjoy reading the Bible. And it was a way to explore other viewpoints - which is also a big attraction of Grease Spot for me…Did I figure it all out? Nope - far from it. But I looked into things enough to satisfy my level of curiosity. I'm no preacher, have no congregation to impress – and I find myself leaning more toward actually being with my family and enjoying things I like to do [don't do as much Bible study as I used to – and so what!].
Now that's one way of looking at the doctrinal side of this picture – but there's more to tackle. Besides the practical application of doctrine – I can address experiences [good & bad], attitudes, mindset, or whatever that may have nothing to do with a certain doctrine but has everything to do with how my character was impacted during the process.
I could be wrong – but I tend to think if you were an honest decent person going into TWI – and more or less held on to your personal integrity – you more than likely got out of there in one piece. I figure we were all compromised to some degree – I imagine the longer you stuck around the more everything took its toll. And I'm of the opinion there's hope for even the worst of sinners – drawn to "the dark side of the force" – if they truly want healing, forgiveness, closure, release from insanity, or whatever [and I'm not talking about some whitewashing salve for the conscience either] Grease Spot is as good a place as any to work some things out, connect, dialog, listen, think out loud...
~~
So what's my point and why did I reference the baby & bath water thread? I don't advocate throwing out both. I'm all for savoring the good memories and garnering lessons from the bad things… I'm saying it's work – often a lot of work – to sift through it all…to review the mental baggage, to call a spade a spade & call a cab when you need one :) . Grease Spot is a great place to meet fellow sifters [sounds like a program – "I went fellow sifters in 2009."]. Nuff said.
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T-Bone
This is a great place for figuring out the bigger picture…Like when the pieces of the puzzle in my head fall in place with what someone else shared…kinda upsetting at first…but gaining a better understanding of my TWI experience & the mental baggage makes it worth it to me.
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TheHighWay
Love this post, brainfixed!
Unlike you I didn't lurk for very long before I joined the forums, but I know that once I did join and start expressing myself, it was like a switch got turned on and it took about a year or so before I ran out of things to ask, discuss, or comment about... there was just so much bottled up inside that NEEDED to come out, and this was the place for a lot of that to happen.
I'm so glad you've found your voice!
Let the healing continue...
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GeorgeStGeorge
Glad you're here, Brainy! (We hardly ever call anybody by his full screen name!) Enjoy what the cafe has to offer: TWI venting, shoulders to cry on, political discussions, games, photos, the fun never stops. And we'll look forward to enjoying what you have to offer!
George
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potato
it takes a lot of work to heal from a place like twi. my healing involved a lot of sadness and anger, plus learning how to forgive myself (I don't forgive twi or their bullies. you'll find differing opinions on that here, but I maintain that it's not a requirement to forgive them) so I can move on. I've been attacked and made fun of by a few select jerks (vpw apologists), but everyone else has been very supportive and understanding. I especially like how the vast majority of people here are ok with everyone feeling and believing something that is different and not ridiculing someone who is working through something painful.
it was easier to get out of twi than it has been to get twi out of me.
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excathedra
i appreciate your post so much
and after a while, you might feel like you're in a cult again ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
however, let me say how thankful i am for waydale and greasespot
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Ham
When I first started reading here, I found it rather refreshing to see real people get in a food fight of sorts..
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Twinky
Brainfixed, your reaction sounds entirely normal! You may find your opinions changing around quite a lot, as you begin to THINK and actually form your own opinion.
Who knows what will spark off something else in your mind, or in someone else's? It's your mind, you just sweep out the rubbish in it. Nobody here minds unless you are malicious. We're all busy doing the same!
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brainfixed
thanks you guys for being supportie and understaning and helping me to see that it's kind of "normal" what i'm going through being here, and thnaks for sharing your thoughts and feelings because this all helps me alot and it really helps with the panic. haha. :)
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leafytwiglet
Hi Brainfixed. When I first came here i would have said I had no real issues but I have found there were a few and sometimes a post that you would not think will upset you sends you into a tailspin.
I have also found that if I don't want to post my thoughts directly to one of the threads I can always Private message one of the participants or one of the other grease spotters.
Anyway hang in there and be sure to pick one of the none serious threads as a place to post that has nothing to do with the Way and everything to do with fun or just being silly.
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WordWolf
Ah, freedom!
At first, it can be a bit scary, but it's exhilarating, and there's nothing like it.
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ciythog
This is WHY Paw keeps this place open!
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MountainTopCO
It is a breath of fresh air to be able to freely speak your mind. I have benefited from what other people say and hope other have benefited from things I have said. It is very healing. So…speak away. :)
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brainfixed
i didn't know i came here for help, and i didn't think i was going to give anything more than some participation on the "fun" discussions, and i didn't know that i could heal from being here. amazing what this place does to me. :wub:
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rascal
Absolutely! I found my *voice* here for the first time in my life. I was allowed to say what I thought, what my impressions were, what I endured. I didn`t have to defer to my husband, my leader, filter everything I felt and thought to make sure that it was spiritually acceptable...etc.
Trust me, the first time I posted, I called my husband and cried, sure that I had forever shamed him some how. For the first few months, I required him to read and scrutinize every post to make sure that I wasn`t spiritually off....lol
He told me that I was allowed to post...(hee hee) but musn`t let what I read cause me to become *negative* about twi...LMAO!!
We have both come a long long way in learning to think for ourselves. Greasespot has been a huge part of that :)
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Twinky
One of the things TWI did for us was to eradicate our critical thinking skills. (You can think anything you like, as long as it doesn't disagree from the TWI take of the day.)
Coming here for the first few times was shocking. How could people post such things? How could they be so anti-TWI? How come their opinions were so "off the Word"? How come after such teaching, they could think such weird things?
But the variety of different responses on most forums really gives any reader the opportunity to start thinking again. We've all come from more or less the same place, and our thinking has splayed out in all sorts of directions. Some people's posts ... still seem out there. Other posts really help me evaluate what and why I think something. So actually just being at the Cafe is a good critical thinking tool.
Brainfixed, you might find you go through a whole lot of different opinions before you finally work something out for yourself. Enjoy!
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brainfixed
i don't know what's going on but i feel somehow emptied out and like i've said everything i need to say and that there's not anything left inside, but it's not a "bad" thing but just empty and i feel pretty good.
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excathedra
i'm glad
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T-Bone
Twinky made some good points which highlight a great feature of Grease Spot – the value of differing viewpoints. And I agree with her mentioning the whammy TWI does to one's critical thinking skills. The mental atmosphere in the world of TWI acts like a sedative to the powers of reason. We were encouraged to absorb rather than analyze doctrine & practice. Grease Spot is a great place to reactivate certain areas of the old noodle that we let fall asleep. When I first joined, I was amazed at how often something another poster said would resonate with me – not only that it would ring true for me but was like some kind of mental accelerant – that would get me thinking about other stuff…to question more…or realize how this related to that, a pattern, recognize a faulty assumption I had, etc.
Any viewpoint differing from TWI's standards was unacceptable – and to even consider such thoughts was akin to playing with fire – you're putting your faith in jeopardy - at the risk of tripping out and/or becoming possessed by one or more devil spirits. Behold the incredible reign of TWI's intellectual tyranny…geez it was like the invisible fence they have for dogs – your mind would cringe getting close to the areas they roped off…."Nope! Don't go there! That's the world, full of nasty devil spirits & unbelievers."
I said something about not using such broad brush strokes in describing my experiences on your "good times" thread. Another thread came to mind today – it's an old one – "Do You Throw Out the Baby with the Bath Water?"
http://www.greasespotcafe.com/ipb/index.ph...st&p=355456
Maybe the thinking is that the broad brush strokes are a quick fix. But life is complicated - stuff is so intertwined - belief systems, experiences, relationships, feelings, yada yada - ya can't go into brain surgery with a chain saw - well...not without a license anyway.
~~
Sometimes discussions that analyze TWI stuff can go very deep – in terms of scope – meaning discussions may touch on more than just a particular doctrine or practice. And so my viewpoint, the sum total of my experiences & current belief system is in play as well. That's not a bad thing necessarily – as long as I'm aware of what's going on in the background. Probably this is obvious to some folks – but it took me awhile of coming here to figure out that when I was analyzing something about TWI – in a way I was also checking out my own current belief system. I don't think anyone can be totally objective – and believe it's safe to err on the side of caution – meaning my own beliefs can be suspect at times. But I will say this about Grease Spot – after leaving behind the groupthink of TWI – this place is just the opposite. And often I find some of my thoughts and feelings validated by what other Grease Spotters have expressed. It's the cure for the common groupthink! In other words – it gets you thinking !
After leaving TWI I had a crisis of faith at one point. Did I even believe in God or trust the Bible? Eventually I came to an affirmative answer on both…So, I figure in any critical thinking task there's always some assumptions – a standard, reference point, what have you…In regards to analyzing TWI doctrine - for me it's an assumption that there is a God and the Bible is inspired of God. That got me into reading commentaries, systematic theologies, and various biblical studies [the various authors coming from different backgrounds – and none affiliated with TWI, of course]. Not saying doing all that is even necessary – but for me it was cuz I enjoy reading the Bible. And it was a way to explore other viewpoints - which is also a big attraction of Grease Spot for me…Did I figure it all out? Nope - far from it. But I looked into things enough to satisfy my level of curiosity. I'm no preacher, have no congregation to impress – and I find myself leaning more toward actually being with my family and enjoying things I like to do [don't do as much Bible study as I used to – and so what!].
Now that's one way of looking at the doctrinal side of this picture – but there's more to tackle. Besides the practical application of doctrine – I can address experiences [good & bad], attitudes, mindset, or whatever that may have nothing to do with a certain doctrine but has everything to do with how my character was impacted during the process.
I could be wrong – but I tend to think if you were an honest decent person going into TWI – and more or less held on to your personal integrity – you more than likely got out of there in one piece. I figure we were all compromised to some degree – I imagine the longer you stuck around the more everything took its toll. And I'm of the opinion there's hope for even the worst of sinners – drawn to "the dark side of the force" – if they truly want healing, forgiveness, closure, release from insanity, or whatever [and I'm not talking about some whitewashing salve for the conscience either] Grease Spot is as good a place as any to work some things out, connect, dialog, listen, think out loud...
~~
So what's my point and why did I reference the baby & bath water thread? I don't advocate throwing out both. I'm all for savoring the good memories and garnering lessons from the bad things… I'm saying it's work – often a lot of work – to sift through it all…to review the mental baggage, to call a spade a spade & call a cab when you need one :) . Grease Spot is a great place to meet fellow sifters [sounds like a program – "I went fellow sifters in 2009."]. Nuff said.
love & peace
T-Bone
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