the thought that wierwille would tell me anything about what made me good enough in god's eyes (or his eye -- i'm so mean) is just too disgusting for me to think about
It seems very interesting to me that you brought up disgust in this thread, dear Excathedra. Because I usually think of these disgusting things that were served up to us in TWI or more so for me in my former splinter group in terms of dealing with anger, and not disgust.
But I understand that anger is a dangerous ride to be on. It can lead to much harm. And whether that harm is directed at the ones who perhaps justly deserve anger it can still have an adverse effect on me or those around me at times. Or even worse, I can possibly have some of that anger balled up in my heart and not understand exactly who I'm directing the anger at or why I am feeling it intensly in the heat of the moment.
Anger can even be at worst, misdirected and self destructive.
I think perhaps it may be the same with disgust, except that in the case of the emotion of disgust it may well tend to be more subtle and harder to pin down. Things were far, far from good enough in TWI, and I think the scars run deep.
For whatever it is worth, over the course of the last couple of days I've realized that I can have my own challenges dealling with the emotion of disgust. I don't want to share too many details because other folks are involved.
Suffice it to say that it seems clear to me that life can have it's disappointments. And after trying to come to terms with all that has been lost in my life because of choosing to follow TWI doctrine and then going after it in my former splinter group I can be caught up in disgust. And it has an adverse effect on me. It's just that before Excathedra brought it up I don't think that I ever considered it in those terms before.
With my sense of humor I would likely have responded "And yet somehow kicking you in the balls at the moment seems to fit the bill for both".
That would have been a good one chockfull.
If I hadn't had been fighting to save my marriage I might have fired back aggressively in the moment too.
But one of the things that they tried to provoke me to do was fire back like that. It would have been more than enough of an excuse to kick me out at any time given the state of the group think and the glorification of the splinter group leader.
They had already been angered by the fact that I aggressively shot down the concept of the leader giving me a new name. After I did that the very same couple that later moved my wife out of my house (the second time) came over to say to someone else while conveniently in front of me how much of an honor it was to be given a new name. The man actually made his distaste for me very plain while not managing to look at me or speak to me. His new name is "Onesimus."
There were many days that I could only wish that firing back as you suggest Chockful wouldn't have cost me more than I was willing to lose. Now I tend not to hold back so much I think, but I guess I still tend to look for useful things to say. I just LOVE IT when a good wisecrack also happens to be useful and/or good though.
If I hadn't had been fighting to save my marriage I might have fired back aggressively in the moment too.
But one of the things that they tried to provoke me to do was fire back like that. It would have been more than enough of an excuse to kick me out at any time given the state of the group think and the glorification of the splinter group leader.
They had already been angered by the fact that I aggressively shot down the concept of the leader giving me a new name. After I did that the very same couple that later moved my wife out of my house (the second time) came over to say to someone else while conveniently in front of me how much of an honor it was to be given a new name. The man actually made his distaste for me very plain while not managing to look at me or speak to me. His new name is "Onesimus."
There were many days that I could only wish that firing back as you suggest Chockful wouldn't have cost me more than I was willing to lose. Now I tend not to hold back so much I think, but I guess I still tend to look for useful things to say. I just LOVE IT when a good wisecrack also happens to be useful and/or good though.
I understand, Jeff. I was watching the documentary on Michael Travesser recently. He proclaimed himself the human embodiment of God, then proceeded to consummate relationships with most of the married women in his camp / compound. One of the women's husband he asked what he thought of his proclamation. The man responded "It was a little overdone". He was kicked out, his wife and child remained.
I make snappy comments now to reinforce the ridiculousness of the behavior I tolerated previously, but I wasn't so glib in the actual situations. I would like another go around though. Hahaha.
It was almost ten years that I did go back after I was marked and avoided.
The Lord put me in it once again, and the victory was so real. I learned deep that God works with ordinary people.
I was not shattered , I was not disappointed I learned to praise His almighty Love that lives and abides in each humble soul seeking a chance at knowing a better life now and all eternity withe Jesus as a Mighty christ that lives within .
The burden and conflicts were gone, all I saw was people that god loved deply involved in a complex system that often hurt them.
keep it simple is my only advice to anyone. God has my hairs numbered, why worry?
all I saw was people that god loved deply involved in a complex system that often hurt them.
Good for you, pond. Your observations are keen, yet is this how God desires his children to live? Is this what He is talking about as the body of Christ?
I love the people, yet my heart holds out with hope for a body where Christ is magnified, where you don't find your average good-hearted Joe on the street who
treats you better than the so-called household.
I can't go back - those with their eyes blinded by the Pharisees have made a conscious choice to be blind. They will not wake up, and it is not my calling to wake them.
That will require the Pure One in His white robes, to illuminate the stain of their garments so they may be ashamed.
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excathedra
thank you jeff for accepting my apology
the thought that wierwille would tell me anything about what made me good enough in god's eyes (or his eye -- i'm so mean) is just too disgusting for me to think about
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JeffSjo
It seems very interesting to me that you brought up disgust in this thread, dear Excathedra. Because I usually think of these disgusting things that were served up to us in TWI or more so for me in my former splinter group in terms of dealing with anger, and not disgust.
But I understand that anger is a dangerous ride to be on. It can lead to much harm. And whether that harm is directed at the ones who perhaps justly deserve anger it can still have an adverse effect on me or those around me at times. Or even worse, I can possibly have some of that anger balled up in my heart and not understand exactly who I'm directing the anger at or why I am feeling it intensly in the heat of the moment.
Anger can even be at worst, misdirected and self destructive.
I think perhaps it may be the same with disgust, except that in the case of the emotion of disgust it may well tend to be more subtle and harder to pin down. Things were far, far from good enough in TWI, and I think the scars run deep.
JEFF
(edited for spelling)
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JeffSjo
For whatever it is worth, over the course of the last couple of days I've realized that I can have my own challenges dealling with the emotion of disgust. I don't want to share too many details because other folks are involved.
Suffice it to say that it seems clear to me that life can have it's disappointments. And after trying to come to terms with all that has been lost in my life because of choosing to follow TWI doctrine and then going after it in my former splinter group I can be caught up in disgust. And it has an adverse effect on me. It's just that before Excathedra brought it up I don't think that I ever considered it in those terms before.
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Imagine
It's not by works, Maggie Muggins.
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JeffSjo
Dear Imagine,
This is sometimes how I ask for clarification of a point. ;) .....
huh? (IMO there is no need to emphasize my "huh" with caps.)
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chockfull
With my sense of humor I would likely have responded "And yet somehow kicking you in the balls at the moment seems to fit the bill for both".
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JeffSjo
That would have been a good one chockfull.
If I hadn't had been fighting to save my marriage I might have fired back aggressively in the moment too.
But one of the things that they tried to provoke me to do was fire back like that. It would have been more than enough of an excuse to kick me out at any time given the state of the group think and the glorification of the splinter group leader.
They had already been angered by the fact that I aggressively shot down the concept of the leader giving me a new name. After I did that the very same couple that later moved my wife out of my house (the second time) came over to say to someone else while conveniently in front of me how much of an honor it was to be given a new name. The man actually made his distaste for me very plain while not managing to look at me or speak to me. His new name is "Onesimus."
There were many days that I could only wish that firing back as you suggest Chockful wouldn't have cost me more than I was willing to lose. Now I tend not to hold back so much I think, but I guess I still tend to look for useful things to say. I just LOVE IT when a good wisecrack also happens to be useful and/or good though.
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excathedra
it might not be by works, maggie, but it took a helluva lot of work to please the MOGGIEPSYCHO
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chockfull
I understand, Jeff. I was watching the documentary on Michael Travesser recently. He proclaimed himself the human embodiment of God, then proceeded to consummate relationships with most of the married women in his camp / compound. One of the women's husband he asked what he thought of his proclamation. The man responded "It was a little overdone". He was kicked out, his wife and child remained.
I make snappy comments now to reinforce the ridiculousness of the behavior I tolerated previously, but I wasn't so glib in the actual situations. I would like another go around though. Hahaha.
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excathedra
wouldn't we all ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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pond
It was almost ten years that I did go back after I was marked and avoided.
The Lord put me in it once again, and the victory was so real. I learned deep that God works with ordinary people.
I was not shattered , I was not disappointed I learned to praise His almighty Love that lives and abides in each humble soul seeking a chance at knowing a better life now and all eternity withe Jesus as a Mighty christ that lives within .
The burden and conflicts were gone, all I saw was people that god loved deply involved in a complex system that often hurt them.
keep it simple is my only advice to anyone. God has my hairs numbered, why worry?
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chockfull
Good for you, pond. Your observations are keen, yet is this how God desires his children to live? Is this what He is talking about as the body of Christ?
I love the people, yet my heart holds out with hope for a body where Christ is magnified, where you don't find your average good-hearted Joe on the street who
treats you better than the so-called household.
I can't go back - those with their eyes blinded by the Pharisees have made a conscious choice to be blind. They will not wake up, and it is not my calling to wake them.
That will require the Pure One in His white robes, to illuminate the stain of their garments so they may be ashamed.
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