She should demand at least her money back from the firm that didn't vet the applicants - not that that's much compensation for a wrecked life!!!
A colleague of mine married a man who she met through the "small ads" in the local newspaper. He was new to the area. Her friend saw the ad and told XXX that the advertiser just sounded like her sort of man. They met and liked each other straight away and married after a few months. They seemed very happy and she was blissful. That was some years ago. No reason to suppose it wouldn't work out but I left to go overseas a year or so after the wedding.
Well, I won't criticize your friend too much, though the thought "imprudent" did sorta flit through my brain.
In a larger sense though, do you ever wonder at the wisdom of marriage altogether? Jeezus, it seems like they ALL end in divorce, sooner or later. And those that don't probably SHOULD. I'm just not entirely sure that men and women living under the same roof will ever work out well. They just think too differently (I'll spare you my feelings about the quality of women's reasoning abilities).
So my advice? Maybe life in an Ashram or a nice convent or a cloister of some kind.
Really, I think that sex is for kids. Once we start getting wrinkled and flabby I think celibacy is the only reasonable alternative.
Anyone out there with a success story - or horror story?
Ive never used any of those sites--right now Im single and content. So I cant speak for myself.
Ive only really known one person who was serious about attracting someone through a dating site.He was divorced and sort of deperate to get remarried..
He was originally from Switzerland and after a few false starts that fell apart decided that he didnt want to marry another American.
He went to foreign sites and met a woman from Mongolia, went to meet her, helped to move her to NYC and theyve been married for about 7 or 8 years now....as far as I know they seem happy......
I've said before I believe online dating is a good way to widen your circle and increase your options. I absolutely would not give any more credence to a "Christian" dating website than any other website. Look for someone with moral integrity and ethics and HOLD THEM TO THE STANDARDS YOU EXPECT! If anything looks fishy, test it or move on. Period.
No, not really--They exchanged emails for awhile, then talked on the phone for a month or so, then he took about three weeks off and went to visit her....they hit it off well, and he made arrangements for her to move to this country and then they got married.
It was similar to regular internet dating but instead of being two towns over she was half way around the world.
It probably should count that he is really good at spotting the difference between BS and a real connection...
I know a lot of people who've gotten engaged and married from the internet. We even have a few here on the greasespot. I visit proffessional websites where people have met and married. I also visit other christian websites where threads indicate a good amount of people have found their significant others via the web. I even have a few family members who are a Dr and a sociologist who've met via online dating. There are some horror stories but there are many success stories too. Women have to be carefull out there in the world or in the virtual world, and for that matter so do men, looking for Mr/Ms Right can be hazardous in any venue.
I'm married, but there are several people who post here that I would enjoy meeting and corresponding with as friends, I don't find that scary at all.
Well I have been married lets see now 27 years. and we are old and wrinkly and we still enjoy sex. but we didn't meet over the internet. we did get married rather quickly (3 months from meeting to wedding) and maybe should have spent more time at that end of things but neither one of us was hiding anything and we really hit it off as friends first actually. of course this was not over the internet.
I have a friend who met her guy over the internet and they are happily married though it is still only two+ years into it. I don't think it will be an issue though as they not only are very well suited for each other but they both are invested in making it all work. Of course only time will tell if it is going to be a good marriage.
I figure it is one of those things either it works out or it doesn't and there are lots of things that can interfere with a marriage working out.
To George. I am sending ((Hugs to You )) too because I am sorry you were hurt so badly.
but I think there are all kinds of people in the world and some of them are long term relationship people and some aren't
and I am glad men and women communicate differently because it makes life interesting and fun... although sometimes a bit of a challenge.
Well, it is like I told my kiddo who was swept away by a passionate, way too good to be true young man in a whirl wind romance who wanted to move her out of our house and into his arms as quickly as possible.
She thought he was perfect, she was ready to begin her life as an adult. I begged her to wait a year to see what was underneith his *company* manners, the way he acted when he wanted to impress, to please please just wait to see how he handled adversity, was he going to whine and blame others, was he going to turn to drink, was he going to be jealous and mean when things didn`t go his way?
She was 18 and a legal adult, so I couldn`t stop her from doing as she pleased.
I thank God that she begrudgingly considered my advice, she slowed things down and agreed to postpone the wedding for a year. Thank God because within 8 months, she began to see too many alarming things to be able to comfortably dismiss.
He ended up being all of the above mentioned a really scary stalker when she tried to leave. We had to send her out of state for several months.
My whole point is, that it takes a lot of time to really get to know what is really underneith peoples polite exteriors, the person that they want you to see and believe is them.
Most people I know that have been internet dating, tend to be like a friend of mine, she was so lonely that every man she met, she tried to make into he was Mr. Right....sometimes after just one weekend.
She met and married a guy, what she wanted, he was decent and kind, but I don`t think that she has ever really been happy.
My step sister met her husband on the internet and is happily married with children, but she took her time and investigated, got to know the guy, got to know his family, talked to his friends....did a back ground check...lol
The thing is whether on the internet or in real life, I believe strongly that you have to take time to get to know the person that is underneith the company manners.
Not a dam thing wrong with that, in fact it's SMART!
This is people's lives we're talking about and their children and everyone future. Men should do the same exact thing when considering their love, local or internet makes no difference.
About 3 years ago I met my current girlfriend on match.com. We have been dating since then . She has brought up the "M" word a few times
Before we do that "M" thing, there are a few things that must be done first (this includes her getting out of debt and her dog being house broken) .
Granted I know that I am far from perfect, before doing different things, you must think with your head (the one between your shoulders ) as well as your heart. The person that you love can make you misrable by some of the things that either they do or don't do.
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WordWolf
Sadly, deception and lies are still with us, and technology hasn't removed that.
Technology also hasn't CAUSED that- it's not a GADGET or a SCIENCE problem- it's a SOCIAL problem.
I'm sorry your friend was burned. I've been burned before and it sucks.
(Then again, I've also been not-burned, which is great.)
One warning, of course, was the phrase "whirlwind."
Consumer groups warn against any purchase (a financial committment) where it's based on a RUSH,
or when the salesperson is stressing a "hurry."
Your friend needed to exercise caution, and then more caution.
So would anyone reading this who's considering meeting someone, regardless of medium.
You can meet someone wonderful. Or someone awful. Or anything in-between.
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Dot Matrix
Yes, it is one thing to talk about marriage in under 6 months - it is not real prudent to do it.
Anyone out there with a success story - or horror story?
My boss has a son who met his wife on a Jewish network. They are HAPPY.
Poor Lori - miserable and paid for the site, and paid for it in misery and she paid for the divorce.
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Twinky
"Marry in haste - repent at leisure." (old adage)
She should demand at least her money back from the firm that didn't vet the applicants - not that that's much compensation for a wrecked life!!!
A colleague of mine married a man who she met through the "small ads" in the local newspaper. He was new to the area. Her friend saw the ad and told XXX that the advertiser just sounded like her sort of man. They met and liked each other straight away and married after a few months. They seemed very happy and she was blissful. That was some years ago. No reason to suppose it wouldn't work out but I left to go overseas a year or so after the wedding.
...There are some decent men out there...
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George Aar
Well, I won't criticize your friend too much, though the thought "imprudent" did sorta flit through my brain.
In a larger sense though, do you ever wonder at the wisdom of marriage altogether? Jeezus, it seems like they ALL end in divorce, sooner or later. And those that don't probably SHOULD. I'm just not entirely sure that men and women living under the same roof will ever work out well. They just think too differently (I'll spare you my feelings about the quality of women's reasoning abilities).
So my advice? Maybe life in an Ashram or a nice convent or a cloister of some kind.
Really, I think that sex is for kids. Once we start getting wrinkled and flabby I think celibacy is the only reasonable alternative.
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mstar1
Ive never used any of those sites--right now Im single and content. So I cant speak for myself.
Ive only really known one person who was serious about attracting someone through a dating site.He was divorced and sort of deperate to get remarried..
He was originally from Switzerland and after a few false starts that fell apart decided that he didnt want to marry another American.
He went to foreign sites and met a woman from Mongolia, went to meet her, helped to move her to NYC and theyve been married for about 7 or 8 years now....as far as I know they seem happy......
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Dot Matrix
Twinky - they do not do refunds and how do you screen for an alcoholic? You can only do criminal and bankruptcy - I think
I know George I was waiting for your post on marital bliss, just kidding. I know. ((you))
Mstar - WOW like a mail order bride?
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batcave
I've said before I believe online dating is a good way to widen your circle and increase your options. I absolutely would not give any more credence to a "Christian" dating website than any other website. Look for someone with moral integrity and ethics and HOLD THEM TO THE STANDARDS YOU EXPECT! If anything looks fishy, test it or move on. Period.
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mstar1
No, not really--They exchanged emails for awhile, then talked on the phone for a month or so, then he took about three weeks off and went to visit her....they hit it off well, and he made arrangements for her to move to this country and then they got married.
It was similar to regular internet dating but instead of being two towns over she was half way around the world.
It probably should count that he is really good at spotting the difference between BS and a real connection...
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now I see
I know a lot of people who've gotten engaged and married from the internet. We even have a few here on the greasespot. I visit proffessional websites where people have met and married. I also visit other christian websites where threads indicate a good amount of people have found their significant others via the web. I even have a few family members who are a Dr and a sociologist who've met via online dating. There are some horror stories but there are many success stories too. Women have to be carefull out there in the world or in the virtual world, and for that matter so do men, looking for Mr/Ms Right can be hazardous in any venue.
I'm married, but there are several people who post here that I would enjoy meeting and corresponding with as friends, I don't find that scary at all.
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leafytwiglet
Well I have been married lets see now 27 years. and we are old and wrinkly and we still enjoy sex. but we didn't meet over the internet. we did get married rather quickly (3 months from meeting to wedding) and maybe should have spent more time at that end of things but neither one of us was hiding anything and we really hit it off as friends first actually. of course this was not over the internet.
I have a friend who met her guy over the internet and they are happily married though it is still only two+ years into it. I don't think it will be an issue though as they not only are very well suited for each other but they both are invested in making it all work. Of course only time will tell if it is going to be a good marriage.
I figure it is one of those things either it works out or it doesn't and there are lots of things that can interfere with a marriage working out.
To George. I am sending ((Hugs to You )) too because I am sorry you were hurt so badly.
but I think there are all kinds of people in the world and some of them are long term relationship people and some aren't
and I am glad men and women communicate differently because it makes life interesting and fun... although sometimes a bit of a challenge.
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WhiteDove
I love my dog ,although he did not disclose that he is a bacon strip addict, other than that there is not much BS to put up with.
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leafytwiglet
Snicker
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Steve!
Cindy! and I met through Greasespot cafe, and next month we will have been very happily married for 5 years.
Smatter of fact, Pawtucket was my best man.
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rascal
Well, it is like I told my kiddo who was swept away by a passionate, way too good to be true young man in a whirl wind romance who wanted to move her out of our house and into his arms as quickly as possible.
She thought he was perfect, she was ready to begin her life as an adult. I begged her to wait a year to see what was underneith his *company* manners, the way he acted when he wanted to impress, to please please just wait to see how he handled adversity, was he going to whine and blame others, was he going to turn to drink, was he going to be jealous and mean when things didn`t go his way?
She was 18 and a legal adult, so I couldn`t stop her from doing as she pleased.
I thank God that she begrudgingly considered my advice, she slowed things down and agreed to postpone the wedding for a year. Thank God because within 8 months, she began to see too many alarming things to be able to comfortably dismiss.
He ended up being all of the above mentioned a really scary stalker when she tried to leave. We had to send her out of state for several months.
My whole point is, that it takes a lot of time to really get to know what is really underneith peoples polite exteriors, the person that they want you to see and believe is them.
Most people I know that have been internet dating, tend to be like a friend of mine, she was so lonely that every man she met, she tried to make into he was Mr. Right....sometimes after just one weekend.
She met and married a guy, what she wanted, he was decent and kind, but I don`t think that she has ever really been happy.
My step sister met her husband on the internet and is happily married with children, but she took her time and investigated, got to know the guy, got to know his family, talked to his friends....did a back ground check...lol
The thing is whether on the internet or in real life, I believe strongly that you have to take time to get to know the person that is underneith the company manners.
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Shellon
Not a dam thing wrong with that, in fact it's SMART!
This is people's lives we're talking about and their children and everyone future. Men should do the same exact thing when considering their love, local or internet makes no difference.
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Dot Matrix
Have you ever joined a site that charged money?
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Zshot
About 3 years ago I met my current girlfriend on match.com. We have been dating since then
. She has brought up the "M" word a few times 
Before we do that "M" thing, there are a few things that must be done first (this includes her getting out of debt and her dog being house broken)
.
Granted I know that I am far from perfect, before doing different things, you must think with your head (the one between your shoulders
) as well as your heart. The person that you love can make you misrable by some of the things that either they do or don't do.
Also, can you say, "prenubtuial agreement"?
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