Just look around this forum. The Way International is a cult fer Heaven's sake. If this girl you are dating is at all into TWI (The Way International) she will have nothing to do with you if you resist efforts to join up.
There was a long thread started by someone whose user name is Brushstroke who was in the same situation as you, though I think the girl's parents were not high muckety-mucks but mere peon followers. You can go to search in the upper right hand corner, perhaps, or at least check out the user name owner's profile. This would be very informative for you.
dude!........if you're in a "very serious relationship" with some young twi hottie.........and, you've been to twi HQ to hear her daddy "preach da verd" (as our ham-ster would say)................and, you're still wondering what, if anything, you should "look out for" regarding twi's inevitable , unsolicited involvement in your relationship, and your "spiritual future"...........then i suggest you follow sudo's advice and read up around here at the greasespot.............then, if you still have questions to be answered, or, if you decide to pursue your "very serious relationship", engage the services of a non-twi, licensed counselor to do your pre-marriage counselling, and report back the results of those counselling sessions............by that time, if those steps have been taken, you should have all your questions sufficiently answered..............good luck, and..............peace.
There was a long thread started by someone whose user name is Brushstroke who was in the same situation as you, though I think the girl's parents were not high muckety-mucks but mere peon followers. You can go to search in the upper right hand corner, perhaps, or at least check out the user name owner's profile. This would be very informative for you.
Thank you for your answers. But it seems that she is different, she understands that I have what some would call atheist views, and it doesn't bother her. Is that just a front? Would that change in the long run? BTW If you were to message me and I could tell you who her father is, then you will see why I'm worried. And maybe give me a better insight.
Thank you for your answers. But it seems that she is different, she understands that I have what some would call atheist views, and it doesn't bother her. Is that just a front? Would that change in the long run? BTW If you were to message me and I could tell you who her father is, then you will see why I'm worried. And maybe give me a better insight.
Thanks.
The answer to that would be purely speculation on my part.
I can tell you, though, "date and switch" is a specialty of The Way.
(I'm speaking from personal experience.)
There are lots and lots of people here who could relate personal experiences involving the practice.
They have even been known to use sexual favors to "close the sale"
The ultimate reason for bringing anyone into the fold is so they can become a contributing member. (ie: give them 15% of your income.) They frown heavily on members associating with non-members unless it is to entice them into the organization. I have been out for nearly 20 years but when I was in, it was unheard of to marry a non-member. In fact, it was practically taboo to even date someone who was not involved with The Way.
I am going to chime in too and say do take it very slow .... be aware that there are three possible scenarios here
1. She is in the relationship to bring you into the WAY organization
2. She is in the relationship as a means or rebelling against her parents and church
3. She likes/loves you and is in it because she finds you charming etc..
Now then you did not say how old the two of you are but being a mom of two daughters myself, and having been a daughter once myself...
I am going to guess she is either scenario 2 or scenario 3. Not that it couldn't be 1... but the other two are more likely.
IF she is under the age of 21 and living at home 2 is a strong runner.
IF she is out of their house on her own all bets are off.
They aren't going to kidnap you and brainwash you... They will calmly and methodically show you what they believe and it will make sense and you will fall for it ... Well maybe not because you are reading all this.
Any way
IF you both really do love each other I suggest you listen to the radio broadcasts.. They are on the front page of the site and go into the section titled ... The Way in these forums... there is lots of stuff in there.
But be prepared for the whole thing to go south... I don't know if they still do Mark and Avoid but if they do she will have some real hard stuff to sort through.
P.s. I hope it is scenario 3, but then I tend to be a hopeless romantic.
I am going to chime in too and say do take it very slow .... be aware that there are three possible scenarios here
1. She is in the relationship to bring you into the WAY organization
2. She is in the relationship as a means or rebelling against her parents and church
3. She likes/loves you and is in it because she finds you charming etc..
Now then you did not say how old the two of you are but being a mom of two daughters myself, and having been a daughter once myself...
I am going to guess she is either scenario 2 or scenario 3. Not that it couldn't be 1... but the other two are more likely.
IF she is under the age of 21 and living at home 2 is a strong runner.
IF she is out of their house on her own all bets are off.
They aren't going to kidnap you and brainwash you... They will calmly and methodically show you what they believe and it will make sense and you will fall for it ... Well maybe not because you are reading all this.
Any way
IF you both really do love each other I suggest you listen to the radio broadcasts.. They are on the front page of the site and go into the section titled ... The Way in these forums... there is lots of stuff in there.
But be prepared for the whole thing to go south... I don't know if they still do Mark and Avoid but if they do she will have some real hard stuff to sort through.
P.s. I hope it is scenario 3, but then I tend to be a hopeless romantic.
Thank you for your response, I have really been enlightened by all of your responses.
I have been dating this girl for quite a while, but she really doesn't talk about the ministry that much to me. Is that normal for peopl in the way? Or is it just because she knows I don't live my life religiously. If I could message someone and ask about her father, that would be great, as I have read through posts on this message board about him. I'd like to know what I was in for. We are young, i'm 21 and she's 20, so does her trying to recruit me or whatever not happen until later? I have not seen any intentions or had any pressure from her thus far. She's very hush hush about the ministry, except for the time she asked me to attend a service at HQ.
I haven't been there for years but it is my understanding that I would not be welcome to attend a service unless I met specific criteria, such as regularly attending fellowship meetings and abundantly sharing (ABS) which is giving over and above the required 10% of gross income to the organization. That is not an invitation that is glibly extended.
The thing is we can speculate all kinds but we do not know her or really you...
What we do know is how the ministry operates... and if you have been dating her for a while you are probably a good judge of her heart.
But you do need to keep in mind what was said by others.
The way does not encourage and probably actively discourages dating and (Marriage..if that is your ultimate goal) with non way people.
Now being as you are Atheist/ agnostic/ don't attend Church????.... you didn't really specify... I am gonna go out on a limb here and say she is probably thinking she can convert you ... not because she is actively trying but because girls are always thinking they can fix boys.. it is stupid.. you are who you are but when we are young we women are silly that way.
The best thing you can do for your self is peruse the threads of the Forum here read up on what the way is really like and then sit her down and be frank with her...
IT would be a waste of both of your times if you were thinking you would get her out of the way and she was thinking she was going to get you into the way..
By the way you are probably not going to win her away from the WAY she would have to leave her family then.
You might have her for a while but she would go back to them. And it is not fair at your age and hers to become a blockade between her and her family.
Oh and one more word of advice as it were
It doesn't matter if her Dad is a big muckity muck or who he is... IF her parents decide you are not good for their daughter they will let HER know, not necessarily you..
I'm not sure if you're interested in her daddy and his views of you or what she thinks of you or what.
If you and she are, as you say, "serious" that implies that you have conversation from time to time.
If she doesn't speak of the ministry very much, then let it be, or ask her outright.
If she invited you to a service and you went, go again and ask questions of her, ask her to explain some of the rituals, etc., really pay attention to how she acts as she speaks.
You're both very young, so any scenerio might be possible.
I get being concerned about a girls father, ministry or no. I'm kind of getting something that you think you should be afraid of him and you wonder if he'll eat your lunch if you touch his baby girl.
Everone has great advice. She might not be sure of what she believes, this is just the way she was raised (no pun)..sounds like this is her if she doesn't talk much about it, it's her ''parents thing'' for now.....so going to the service is natural, yada yada...
bottom line though.....if it's going to go anywhere serious, she will have to decide between her family and you.
They will put that pressure on her, you can be sure of that! Comparing ''them'' to ''the way''.....they don't separate. Outside of The Way, you are fresh meat ready to be dined or swept under foot.
I just left a few years ago and know most still on staff at HQ if you want to ask me anything.
I am in a very serious relationship with someone in the way, and her father is very big into it. I have never really been religious or anything like that, but I was wondering if there was anything I should look out for. I attended a service with her once to see her father preach or whatever, but I had always thought church was weird, and I just knew something wasn't right with the way. What should I look out for?? Any concerns I should have?
O...M...G...
It's not that I don't have concerns for you, it's just that I have no freakin idea where to start!
It's not that I don't have concerns for you, it's just that I have no freakin idea where to start!
Tell me about it, I'm lucky to have at least found this site, if I didn't I would have gone CRAZY!!! I always thought the way was weird, just because they have an HQ and dorms and stuff. Thanks to everyone for their help. I have no idea what to think anymore. HA
Well just keep looking for your own good, I guess.
I don't know anything about your girlfriend at all, but a lot of people have had a very wide range of experiences with the Way International here at the Greasespot.
I hope that you find the things that help you without going into the "too much information" category.
I am in a very serious relationship with someone in the way, and her father is very big into it. I have never really been religious or anything like that, but I was wondering if there was anything I should look out for. I attended a service with her once to see her father preach or whatever, but I had always thought church was weird, and I just knew something wasn't right with the way. What should I look out for?? Any concerns I should have?
When I left the way three years ago it was strongly encouraged to date "Within the household",as the way calls it,which basically means date people that go to the way.The other dating advice was to invite someone new to fellowship and see if he or she "turns on to the Word".In my opinion a few things you should look out for are the following,certain verses of the bible being used as a wedge against you to make you conform to what they want you to do,if this one is used on you it probably won't be done very blatantly,but subtility.Another would be one of the leaders wanting to meet with you guys,which would be ok,but usually the motive of the meeting is to get you more involved with the way,not a good motive for a minister helping a young couple.When I was in one of my good friends who had went to the way all his life got engaged to a girl who did not go to way functions on a regular basis,somehow the branch coordinator found out about the engagement and asked me if he could meet with them to "help",when I checked with my friend to see if he wanted to meet with him his answer was,"No,I've heard to many horror stories about leadership getting involved with people's relationships."If the current attendance of way functions is as low as when I went they may not bug you much with getting more involved because they don't want to scare you off.At this time that is about all I can think of to look out for,if I think of anymore I'll send it to you.One good thing to remember is they cannot make you do anything.
Just look around this forum. The Way International is a cult fer Heaven's sake. If this girl you are dating is at all into TWI (The Way International) she will have nothing to do with you if you resist efforts to join up.
Hmm...interesting. That exact scenario played out in my life a long time ago. She wanted me to take the foundational class and I wouldn't (I was a non-practicing Catholic at the time and had no interest in religion). She went WOW and moved away so that was the end of our relationship.
It's too bad, too. We both realize today that if she hadn't joined TWI, both of our lives would have been very different -- and probably better. Only now, many years later, does she see that she made a big mistake in her decision to move away from me, her family and her friends.
P.S. I haven't read all of the posts in this thread yet. Also, I'm new to this forum.
Hmm...interesting. That exact scenario played out in my life a long time ago. She wanted me to take the foundational class and I wouldn't (I was a non-practicing Catholic at the time and had no interest in religion). She went WOW and moved away so that was the end of our relationship.
It's too bad, too. We both realize today that if she hadn't joined TWI, both of our lives would have been very different -- and probably better. Only now, many years later, does she see that she made a big mistake in her decision to move away from me, her family and her friends.
P.S. I haven't read all of the posts in this thread yet. Also, I'm new to this forum.
Thank you, leafy. Having re-connected recently with an old friend who was in TWI for over 20 years, I've been lurking on these boards trying to get some insight into how that organization worked. I had no idea there were so many ex-Wayers (although I might have suspected it, given what my friend told me about how the ministry fell apart).
And I had no idea how cult-like the TWI is. The stories I've read on these boards are horrible and disgusting. The two leaders I've read and heard about sound like despicable human beings and I don't know how anybody -- Christian or not -- could consider them to be real men of God.
Anyway, what you said above is so true. My friend thought she could convert me, but it was a waste of time for either of us to try to persuade the other. I was just starting graduate school and I wasn't gonna leave -- no way, no how. She went off and married a TWI guy and now, many years later, she regrets it. She left TWI about a year ago but her husband stubbornly clings to it. They'll probably break up soon.
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Sudo
Geeze QTBA,
Just look around this forum. The Way International is a cult fer Heaven's sake. If this girl you are dating is at all into TWI (The Way International) she will have nothing to do with you if you resist efforts to join up.
sudo
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Watered Garden
There was a long thread started by someone whose user name is Brushstroke who was in the same situation as you, though I think the girl's parents were not high muckety-mucks but mere peon followers. You can go to search in the upper right hand corner, perhaps, or at least check out the user name owner's profile. This would be very informative for you.
WG
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DontWorryBeHappy
dude!........if you're in a "very serious relationship" with some young twi hottie.........and, you've been to twi HQ to hear her daddy "preach da verd" (as our ham-ster would say)................and, you're still wondering what, if anything, you should "look out for" regarding twi's inevitable , unsolicited involvement in your relationship, and your "spiritual future"...........then i suggest you follow sudo's advice and read up around here at the greasespot.............then, if you still have questions to be answered, or, if you decide to pursue your "very serious relationship", engage the services of a non-twi, licensed counselor to do your pre-marriage counselling, and report back the results of those counselling sessions............by that time, if those steps have been taken, you should have all your questions sufficiently answered..............good luck, and..............peace.
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waysider
http://www.greasespotcafe.com/ipb/index.ph...c=16948&hl=
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Questionstobeanswered
Thank you for your answers. But it seems that she is different, she understands that I have what some would call atheist views, and it doesn't bother her. Is that just a front? Would that change in the long run? BTW If you were to message me and I could tell you who her father is, then you will see why I'm worried. And maybe give me a better insight.
Thanks.
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waysider
The answer to that would be purely speculation on my part.
I can tell you, though, "date and switch" is a specialty of The Way.
(I'm speaking from personal experience.)
There are lots and lots of people here who could relate personal experiences involving the practice.
They have even been known to use sexual favors to "close the sale"
The ultimate reason for bringing anyone into the fold is so they can become a contributing member. (ie: give them 15% of your income.) They frown heavily on members associating with non-members unless it is to entice them into the organization. I have been out for nearly 20 years but when I was in, it was unheard of to marry a non-member. In fact, it was practically taboo to even date someone who was not involved with The Way.
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leafytwiglet
I am going to chime in too and say do take it very slow .... be aware that there are three possible scenarios here
1. She is in the relationship to bring you into the WAY organization
2. She is in the relationship as a means or rebelling against her parents and church
3. She likes/loves you and is in it because she finds you charming etc..
Now then you did not say how old the two of you are but being a mom of two daughters myself, and having been a daughter once myself...
I am going to guess she is either scenario 2 or scenario 3. Not that it couldn't be 1... but the other two are more likely.
IF she is under the age of 21 and living at home 2 is a strong runner.
IF she is out of their house on her own all bets are off.
They aren't going to kidnap you and brainwash you... They will calmly and methodically show you what they believe and it will make sense and you will fall for it ... Well maybe not because you are reading all this.
Any way
IF you both really do love each other I suggest you listen to the radio broadcasts.. They are on the front page of the site and go into the section titled ... The Way in these forums... there is lots of stuff in there.
But be prepared for the whole thing to go south... I don't know if they still do Mark and Avoid but if they do she will have some real hard stuff to sort through.
P.s. I hope it is scenario 3, but then I tend to be a hopeless romantic.
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Questionstobeanswered
Thank you for your response, I have really been enlightened by all of your responses.
I have been dating this girl for quite a while, but she really doesn't talk about the ministry that much to me. Is that normal for peopl in the way? Or is it just because she knows I don't live my life religiously. If I could message someone and ask about her father, that would be great, as I have read through posts on this message board about him. I'd like to know what I was in for. We are young, i'm 21 and she's 20, so does her trying to recruit me or whatever not happen until later? I have not seen any intentions or had any pressure from her thus far. She's very hush hush about the ministry, except for the time she asked me to attend a service at HQ.
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waysider
HQ is "holy ground".
I haven't been there for years but it is my understanding that I would not be welcome to attend a service unless I met specific criteria, such as regularly attending fellowship meetings and abundantly sharing (ABS) which is giving over and above the required 10% of gross income to the organization. That is not an invitation that is glibly extended.
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leafytwiglet
The thing is we can speculate all kinds but we do not know her or really you...
What we do know is how the ministry operates... and if you have been dating her for a while you are probably a good judge of her heart.
But you do need to keep in mind what was said by others.
The way does not encourage and probably actively discourages dating and (Marriage..if that is your ultimate goal) with non way people.
Now being as you are Atheist/ agnostic/ don't attend Church????.... you didn't really specify... I am gonna go out on a limb here and say she is probably thinking she can convert you ... not because she is actively trying but because girls are always thinking they can fix boys.. it is stupid.. you are who you are but when we are young we women are silly that way.
The best thing you can do for your self is peruse the threads of the Forum here read up on what the way is really like and then sit her down and be frank with her...
IT would be a waste of both of your times if you were thinking you would get her out of the way and she was thinking she was going to get you into the way..
By the way you are probably not going to win her away from the WAY she would have to leave her family then.
You might have her for a while but she would go back to them. And it is not fair at your age and hers to become a blockade between her and her family.
Oh and one more word of advice as it were
It doesn't matter if her Dad is a big muckity muck or who he is... IF her parents decide you are not good for their daughter they will let HER know, not necessarily you..
This is one of those things most parents do..
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Shellon
I'm not sure if you're interested in her daddy and his views of you or what she thinks of you or what.
If you and she are, as you say, "serious" that implies that you have conversation from time to time.
If she doesn't speak of the ministry very much, then let it be, or ask her outright.
If she invited you to a service and you went, go again and ask questions of her, ask her to explain some of the rituals, etc., really pay attention to how she acts as she speaks.
You're both very young, so any scenerio might be possible.
I get being concerned about a girls father, ministry or no. I'm kind of getting something that you think you should be afraid of him and you wonder if he'll eat your lunch if you touch his baby girl.
Just curious
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bliss
Everone has great advice. She might not be sure of what she believes, this is just the way she was raised (no pun)..sounds like this is her if she doesn't talk much about it, it's her ''parents thing'' for now.....so going to the service is natural, yada yada...
bottom line though.....if it's going to go anywhere serious, she will have to decide between her family and you.
They will put that pressure on her, you can be sure of that! Comparing ''them'' to ''the way''.....they don't separate. Outside of The Way, you are fresh meat ready to be dined or swept under foot.
I just left a few years ago and know most still on staff at HQ if you want to ask me anything.
:)
bliss
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JeffSjo
O...M...G...
It's not that I don't have concerns for you, it's just that I have no freakin idea where to start!
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Questionstobeanswered
Tell me about it, I'm lucky to have at least found this site, if I didn't I would have gone CRAZY!!! I always thought the way was weird, just because they have an HQ and dorms and stuff. Thanks to everyone for their help. I have no idea what to think anymore. HA
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JeffSjo
Well just keep looking for your own good, I guess.
I don't know anything about your girlfriend at all, but a lot of people have had a very wide range of experiences with the Way International here at the Greasespot.
I hope that you find the things that help you without going into the "too much information" category.
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mudflaps
When I left the way three years ago it was strongly encouraged to date "Within the household",as the way calls it,which basically means date people that go to the way.The other dating advice was to invite someone new to fellowship and see if he or she "turns on to the Word".In my opinion a few things you should look out for are the following,certain verses of the bible being used as a wedge against you to make you conform to what they want you to do,if this one is used on you it probably won't be done very blatantly,but subtility.Another would be one of the leaders wanting to meet with you guys,which would be ok,but usually the motive of the meeting is to get you more involved with the way,not a good motive for a minister helping a young couple.When I was in one of my good friends who had went to the way all his life got engaged to a girl who did not go to way functions on a regular basis,somehow the branch coordinator found out about the engagement and asked me if he could meet with them to "help",when I checked with my friend to see if he wanted to meet with him his answer was,"No,I've heard to many horror stories about leadership getting involved with people's relationships."If the current attendance of way functions is as low as when I went they may not bug you much with getting more involved because they don't want to scare you off.At this time that is about all I can think of to look out for,if I think of anymore I'll send it to you.One good thing to remember is they cannot make you do anything.
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taxicab
How fast can you run :o in the other direction?
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soul searcher
Hmm...interesting. That exact scenario played out in my life a long time ago. She wanted me to take the foundational class and I wouldn't (I was a non-practicing Catholic at the time and had no interest in religion). She went WOW and moved away so that was the end of our relationship.
It's too bad, too. We both realize today that if she hadn't joined TWI, both of our lives would have been very different -- and probably better. Only now, many years later, does she see that she made a big mistake in her decision to move away from me, her family and her friends.
P.S. I haven't read all of the posts in this thread yet. Also, I'm new to this forum.
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leafytwiglet
Hi Soul Searcher Welcome to Grease Spot.
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soul searcher
Thank you, leafy. Having re-connected recently with an old friend who was in TWI for over 20 years, I've been lurking on these boards trying to get some insight into how that organization worked. I had no idea there were so many ex-Wayers (although I might have suspected it, given what my friend told me about how the ministry fell apart).
And I had no idea how cult-like the TWI is. The stories I've read on these boards are horrible and disgusting. The two leaders I've read and heard about sound like despicable human beings and I don't know how anybody -- Christian or not -- could consider them to be real men of God.
Anyway, what you said above is so true. My friend thought she could convert me, but it was a waste of time for either of us to try to persuade the other. I was just starting graduate school and I wasn't gonna leave -- no way, no how. She went off and married a TWI guy and now, many years later, she regrets it. She left TWI about a year ago but her husband stubbornly clings to it. They'll probably break up soon.
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waysider
Greetings, soul searcher
Welcome to the cafe.
Will you be needing a menu?
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soul searcher
Thanks, waysider. What's the special tonight?
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waysider
Kinda reminds me of the old Hee Haw show.
Hey Gran-paw, whats fer supper?
Polk Sallet N cornbread, sweet to the bite,
Home grown Arsh taters, mashed up just right,
Ham-hock n pintos piled up high,
an' fer desert, some sweet apple pie!
YU-UM,, YUM!!
(quote borrowed from THIS site)
But seriously, if you need help finding something here, don't be shy.
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soul searcher
Thank you, sir. I introduced myself briefly here...
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