Too Scared to Cry, by Lenore Kerr

[JesseJoe]

Too Scared to Cry - How Trauma Affects Children… And Ultimately Us All, by Lenore Kerr, M.D.

My mom died early June 2008, four months after my 50th birthday. Soon after her death, I realized I was asking questions about my childhood I hadn’t asked in almost 30 years. Questions I had learned to stop asking, because of the pain they stirred.

While involved with TWI, I forgot about the questions I had. I worked very hard forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

For some reason, after my mom died, I remembered and felt free to ask the questions that I realized have always been in the back of my mind somewhere. My family has actually been supportive.

In talking to a friend several months back, she suggested I read Too Scared to Cry. As I read, I could see myself on so many of the pages; my parents’ broken marriage, being kidnapped by my father and separated from mother when I was two, never having stability, being molested repeatedly by a cousin when I was 8, the nightmares, sleepwalking, feelings of shame, worthlessness and guilt. I was halfway through the book when, for the first time in my life, I cried for the childhood I never had. It was the beginning of my journey to understand who I am and why I am the way I am. It has been a very healing journey.

If any one has read this book, I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts.

Shelly

[Kit Sober]

Shelly,

I did not read (yet :) ) Too Scared to Cry, but can identify a lot with your "coming to yourself." I think the Holy Spirit is doing it, and there are so many books and other resources being developed to help us clear away the hurt and dirt of our lives, and come to terms with who we are, really, so we can move on.

It's so good to be out of twi and able to deal with things in a real way.

In hope and prayers with you and for you,

Kit Sober, Reno Nevada

[JesseJoe]

Kit, thank you for the encouraging words and prayers.

Yes, it is very good to be out of TWI and able to deal with things in a real way.

One of the challenges for me after TWI was realizing it is ok to explore, understand, and mourn my past. For years, I pushed, “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth.” Many of us did, much to our detriment. I realize now, I had been “forgetting” things I hadn’t even processed and that had caused a massive amount of nasty attitudes and anger in my life.

It feels good not to be angry.

The main case study of the book deals with 20 children in California who where kidnapped while on their school bus and buried alive in 1979. There are other case studies as well, ranging the spectrum. The book goes through the effects of the trauma on the kids as well as those around them. Too Scared to Cry is a very enlightening book. It has helped me considerably.

If/when you read it, let me know what you think. I have always respected your opinion and would be very interested in what you have to say.

All the best to you and yours,

Shelly