When I was told I had to many problems to attend fellowship, I believed it.
I am lucky i truly had no where eles to turn but my God and prayer.
It worked fabulously and my life got better , knowing it was me and Him working it out together I learned to trust God only.
I returned to the way and fellowship almost a decade later a happy well rounded educated secure lady wanting to give all I had learned about such a wonderful Saviour .
I walked away.
I was very depressed, I knew what reality was happening I didnt have blind eyes to suffering folks I saw alot of people worship, and fear.
folks who I knew as young adults now old and stressed and worried about life.
I left because of the witness they had, the fruit in life was awful, most were poor and had many serious problems with community and society and isolated themselves.
They were unhappy and nasty to anyone who wasnt in the way and treated one another like they could do no wrong and needed one another to even make a simple choice in life.
they were jealous of me, now and it was worse far worse because I loved them with my whole heart and even more I knew how much God loved them with His whole heart and didnt want to see the stress and pitiful life they lived and use His name as a cop out excuse on why .
I left because I could see what would happen if I had stayed and it was very very sad.
to be m/a was painful but I still believed the way was not the problem it was me.
To know the way was wrong and hurting people was worse for me and it was much more difficult to close up my desires to love and help and be a part of it, to walk away from people I knew just wanted the best for themselves and their families and know God I felt awful .
both changed my life in 180 degrees.
I think I love everyone now to this day because of that loss .
Songs that play that talk about not being together to see the folks or years gone bye yet the love still abides I sing to them still.
I walked away. I don't feel hurt by walking away, but I am hurt in how it caused contention with my boyfriend. I am ....ed at twi for teaching that they are the one and only stop to God Himself. If only the innies remembered....
God is not limited to one little ministry in podunk ohio claiming to have the only truth concerning God and His Word. HE IS NOT A RESPECTOR OF PERSONS, and He does work in people OUTSIDE twi.
If only they would wake and and take a look at the fruit produced by twi: it's putrid. There are too many situations where people have been and continue to be treated badly.
Glad I'm out so I can start living again.
To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.
I walked away in early 1983, but never really lost my belief that Wierwille and the Way taught the truth.
Walked back in in 1990.
Was kicked out in 2001. What a relief.
I had been "out" in my heart for a long time, so it was not very traumatic for me. They actually thought that they were hurting me and tried to manipulate me into a probation situation.
What was traumatic was being asked by my wife to leave two months later.
Oakspear
"We...know how cruel the truth often is, and we wonder whether delusion is not more consoling"
I was not 'bi' like MJ and Oak. I think I walked away but I cannot know for sure because it was during the 'Fog Years'. Actually, I was more like the guy that says to his boss, "I quit!" and then the boss replies, "Then you're fired!"
I left and when Corps assignment time came, I refused an assignment. LCM sent me a cordial letter telling me that I was 'dropped from active Corps'.
Does that make me 'bi'? Ooh. Now I wished you never brought this up.
I walked away. I think the cirumstances that led up to that are what hurt the most...not leaving the organization.It's been 5 years, and it still hurts.
Sometimes I wonder if I will really recover. I'm better than I was...and a lot stronger. Even today, I find it nearly impossible to really fully trust anybody. That's a terrible way to live.
My personal opinion is that it was tougher to leave before Waydale and GreaseSpot.
I was M&A'd and it got so much easier on my heart once I learned what had really been going on. I then stopped expecting them to call when they figured out their mistake.
I think it would be tough to have to decide to leave, but to be falsely accused and kicked out without warning might be even tougher.
If one has warning and agrees to be on probation or whatever they do, that might not be as much of a shock - cause at least you know that they're considering kicking you out.
How we could let them have that power over us - I pray I never let anyone have that kind of power over me again! Probably why I don't expect to remarry.
I left twice, but on my own accord. I left in 1990 after lcm drew the line in '89 and demanded loyalty. I went back in 1992. Then I left just recently. I was never m&a'd; I guess I was too good a little wayfer. I guess the closest I ever came to being on twi's sheetlist is when I didn't give in to one FCs demands to involve her in every detail of my life. She was mini-martinpuke. Sad thing is: she really believes that you have to control EVERYTHING!!
My ex-boyfriend and I lived on opposite coasts before he moved to my coast. I planned a trip to visit him and called the FC to let her know I wouldn't be at fellowship because of my trip. I was still looking for work after leaving HQ, but I had been working temporary jobs to cover my living expenses and this trip. After letting the FC know I wasn't going to be at fellowship because of the trip, she said: "NO, I don't think that's best for your life. You are looking for a job, and you will be missing days from doing that." I told her my decision was made and I wasn't asking her permission.
TWI is kinder, gentler? I think the top dogs need to look at the middle dogs to see what the hell they are doing.
I pretty much did the two part thing also. Left in 79 and returned in 83 because I felt horribly bad about leaving. Hung around until 96 when they booted me.
By the time they m&a'ed me I knew I had Stayed Too Long.
Don't allow resentment and bitterness to hinder healing.
I tried to get out, but was M&A'd first. It made for a much more painful exit that still stings when I think of it today.
I got involved in TWI in 91' although the family that encouraged me to join had been close to me for a couple of years before. During the 93' ROA believers were encouraged to move in together and that family and I did. During the ensuing year I began having REAL problems with corrupt local leadership and ever more present Doctrinal errors. I had decided to move out from the family in the fall and "fade away". I still had many friends in the Ministry (Including my younger brother) and I figured I'd need to be careful not to make any of my "innie" friends feel that I disrespected thier stand with the Ministrty.
ROA 94' came up and it came as a shock to many that I would not be going. I made no hard stand, just came up with other commitments and wished them well. The following week after ROA 94' I was wakened and told my BC was waiting for me to attend a meeting. He claimed that during the Rock he was given "Technicolor" revelation that I had a homosexual spirit in me and that I was M&A. My only recourse was to leave the house immediately (the apartment I was to lease would not be available for 6 weeks) and that if I wished to get back "in the house of Zion" I would be required to work with the BC exclusively. (i always found it ironic that they used the fact that I had a girlfriend to "prove" the homosexual demon spirit!) Unless the BC granted it, I was to have NO contact with my friends or my Brother within the fellowship.
I'll never forget that moment. I was SO mad I could have killed that man. What hurt the most was that my friends gave me no support. They had been stripped of the Twig that they ran and were thankful to still be in fellowship. To me it was no choice at all. I collected a backpack of clothes and walked out. I spent a couple of weeks sleeping on the couch of a friend, and scraped enough $$ for a different apartment.
A year later my brother walked out on his own, and to me the Ministry was then DEAD. I still miss many of my old friends, but I could never trust them again.
I often wonder if I would still have my "surrogate family" if I would have gotten out before that a**hole BC Marked and Avoided me.
quote:My personal opinion is that it was tougher to leave before Waydale and GreaseSpot.
Yup - and even easier to leave after the first lawsuit and LCM's excommunication.
We got kicked out, but I would have rather left under my own steam. What I wanted to say was "you can't fire me - I QUIT!" - but never had the opportunity.
I know I suffered for over 5 years by staying in when I wanted out. Getting the boot was a relief for me.
But I agree with what bowtwi said, and will go back even further: I think it was tougher to leave OR get kicked out when VP was running things. Most of us were so convinced that anyone who left was possessed or insane that we wrote them off - they'd "tripped out". The isolation these people experienced was probably devastating to them.
So many people left after PoP, sometimes whole fellowships, so at least you had company no matter how you left TWI.
I've always compared leaving TWI to quitting smoking. It's hard at first - you suffer from withdrawal, you crave it, but know it's not good for you so you stay away from it. As time passes, each day it gets easier and easier to live without it, you don't think about it that often and when you do, you have no desire to go back to it. Eventually, you can't believe you ever did anything to harm yourself so badly. And finally, just the thought of it is repugnant.
My husband refused to send in a *loyalt oath* letter.....and though we were never told we COULDN`T attend twig....it was made clear that we were spiritually *suspicious*
So while Hubby was not involved.... wasn`t allowed to accept further assignments...I still faithfully attended.
I didn`t pick up on it at first d`uh ... I was STILL as committed and on fire as I ever was...but all of a sudden... I had lost all respect and credibility ...I was someone who everybody WISHED would get the message and stop showing up....but nobody ever had the nerve to come right out and say it.
It was so dissapointing, I wasn`t invited for coffee anymore, bowling, or other activities.... people for whom I had been a *sister* and whom I had loved for almost a decade.. now regarding me as *unsavory*...it really hurt knowing I had not changed ...but all of a sudden everyone else saw me as something contemptable...I was even mad at hubby for a while for bringing this shame upon us...poor guy.
All of those years of following the game plan.....sacrificing our goals and dreams and obeying the leaders instead...... our utmost for his highest...multiple wow years..adv class...corps....you know how proud we were of these accomplishments ... the *status* that those name tags garnered for us...lol...it all meant NOTHING...you were lower than the newest newbie...after all of those years of service to God meant squat....sigh
So for me ...it was a slow drawn out weaning...probably the most gentle of departures...however, because there was never any decisive closing point....It was many years before I began to mentally review my destructive thought processes...question my beliefs..which delayed my reentry into *normal* society by several more years.
I cannot imagine the horror of being m&a`d ... you who went through this I am so sorry.
Left the first time over I put my livlihood over attending tc meetings Hell my decision got me the job I have held over 12 years now
2nd time over the debt thing,Also to lurking on Waydale and then Greasespot,Also to alot of you out there I would mention handles but I would probably miss someone,Thanks all.
Last week a innie called an outie and invited them to dinner. The outie-exwaycorps.
No ministry stuff was mentioned at the dinner.
Yesterday, a innie of 39 years called an outie and asked if they wanted to get together at a non-ministry related function. Outtie said OK.
In the phone conversation, yesterday, the innie mentioned feeling sad about all the the way believers that "pulled out of the ministry".
Outtie quickly mentioned that the majority, including the outtie were kicked out for minor reasons. Innie knew almost nothing about the real reasons believers were kicked out; and even mentioned another outtie who "pulled out" because, according to innie, they wanted to buy a house. Outtie than stated that that was incorrect. They left because of the lawsuits.
I think that many innies are getting lonesome and making contact with outties is OK. But the innies
are not being told the truth as to the reasons they left or were kicked out.
I was blessed to hear that this outtie had the courage to confront the innie on their error and misinformation.
This wonderful outtie was treated like a terrorist by the way ministry, kicked out for no reason and not allowed to even talk to a way believer. This outtie has recovered miracliously from this spiritual abuse and had the love for these way believers to talk and reason with them.
I think being M&A'd is worse than leaving on your own.
We were first dropped from our corps status, which nearly flattened us completely, then a few months later were told we were no longer welcome at the Way.
We were isolated and had no one to communicate with. No one contacted us. We couldn't figure out what exactly we had done wrong. So for 8 yrs. we plodded along, with so much pain and hurt.
Then we found GS and Waydale. Then the answers came. Then we found out about the lawsuits and the 'rest of the story' and the pieces slowly started falling into place. I know if we hadn't found these places, we would still be wanderers.
A la Prochaine, you're home, and home is where the heart is. You wander no more, pilgrim! There's peace in the valley, a fire burning, veggies on the wok, wine in the glass, and a DAM comfy couch. Oh yeah, and "out here" YOU get to hold the Remote. :)-->
-----------------------------
quack
[This message was edited by socks on January 27, 2003 at 0:05.]
Hope you said this and it reminded me of something:
quote:I've always compared leaving TWI to quitting smoking. It's hard at first - you suffer from withdrawal, you crave it, but know it's not good for you so you stay away from it.
Recntly, a Dr. told me something about quitting smoking that totally surprised me. Check this out. He said that the actual withdrawal from the nicotine addiction is only about 24-48 hours. That's it. Your body won't "want" it after that.
So I asked him, what's all the big deal about it being so hard, it IS hard y'know.
He said the personal habits around it are what's hard. It's a mental battle and a tough one, but the physical stuff? Couple days. He also said all the publicity about how hard it is, was in his opinion, counter productive and helpful to tobacco companies. People become AFRAID to guit, thinking it's too hard so why try?
Interesting hey? I too see some similarities there.
My first husband was M&A'ed and it was nearly devistating to his life. We are not in contact anymore but I know he was still holding on to the dream of getting back into the ministry, back within the Walls of Zion (puke!) - when we spoke 3 years ago. He lost everything with being M&A'ed - job (we were on staff), wife, friends, and all he had left was his family. This was in 1997-ish...
I left in 2000 but had time to prepare - I knew what I was going to do - what I needed to do and had Waydale and the support of several outie friends along the way. It made things earier on me. When I spoke with leadership the night I left there was no screaming or yelling - in fact, it was so pleasant I thought to myself that if things were like that all the time, I wouldn't bother leaving.
I think being M&A'ed, and especially during the time of the "homo hunt" was the hardest on people - there was so much FEAR taught (i.e. no protection outside the walls of Zion; the collective believing of the household, etc.) that people were made to think they were SCREWED if they weren't in TWI.
Funny that all the real 'screwing' was with the innies!
I took a different path. After spending the bulk of one weekend reading the Greasespot, immediately after the announcement was made of LCM's resignation, I went to fellowship wired and looking for answers, specificially if he was going to be marked and avoided. My coordinater childed me for making such comments in the middle of felowship, but promised me that she would look into the situation. When I got home I was later called by the branch coordinator, who basically told me to stay off the Internet and mind my own business. The next day I faxed a letter of resignation to my coordinator, telling her that I could no longer state for such a corrupt and evil organization. I never went back or looked back!!!!
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mj412
I was m/A went back and walked away.
I did both ,
When I was told I had to many problems to attend fellowship, I believed it.
I am lucky i truly had no where eles to turn but my God and prayer.
It worked fabulously and my life got better , knowing it was me and Him working it out together I learned to trust God only.
I returned to the way and fellowship almost a decade later a happy well rounded educated secure lady wanting to give all I had learned about such a wonderful Saviour .
I walked away.
I was very depressed, I knew what reality was happening I didnt have blind eyes to suffering folks I saw alot of people worship, and fear.
folks who I knew as young adults now old and stressed and worried about life.
I left because of the witness they had, the fruit in life was awful, most were poor and had many serious problems with community and society and isolated themselves.
They were unhappy and nasty to anyone who wasnt in the way and treated one another like they could do no wrong and needed one another to even make a simple choice in life.
they were jealous of me, now and it was worse far worse because I loved them with my whole heart and even more I knew how much God loved them with His whole heart and didnt want to see the stress and pitiful life they lived and use His name as a cop out excuse on why .
I left because I could see what would happen if I had stayed and it was very very sad.
to be m/a was painful but I still believed the way was not the problem it was me.
To know the way was wrong and hurting people was worse for me and it was much more difficult to close up my desires to love and help and be a part of it, to walk away from people I knew just wanted the best for themselves and their families and know God I felt awful .
both changed my life in 180 degrees.
I think I love everyone now to this day because of that loss .
Songs that play that talk about not being together to see the folks or years gone bye yet the love still abides I sing to them still.
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aCertainDiciple
Dear mj412:
I realize I run the risk of derailing my own thread here, but you made a remark in your post that was so profound that I just couldn't let it pass by.
"I am lucky I truly had no where else to turn but my God and prayer."
I just wonder how many people would consider having no one but God to turn to a LUCKY situation? What a blessing that remark is. You made my day.
Thank you and God bless.
acd
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Nottawayfer
I walked away. I don't feel hurt by walking away, but I am hurt in how it caused contention with my boyfriend. I am ....ed at twi for teaching that they are the one and only stop to God Himself. If only the innies remembered....
God is not limited to one little ministry in podunk ohio claiming to have the only truth concerning God and His Word. HE IS NOT A RESPECTOR OF PERSONS, and He does work in people OUTSIDE twi.
If only they would wake and and take a look at the fruit produced by twi: it's putrid. There are too many situations where people have been and continue to be treated badly.
Glad I'm out so I can start living again.
To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.
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excathedra
pain is in the heart of the holder
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Oakspear
I walked away in early 1983, but never really lost my belief that Wierwille and the Way taught the truth.
Walked back in in 1990.
Was kicked out in 2001. What a relief.
I had been "out" in my heart for a long time, so it was not very traumatic for me. They actually thought that they were hurting me and tried to manipulate me into a probation situation.
What was traumatic was being asked by my wife to leave two months later.
Oakspear
"We...know how cruel the truth often is, and we wonder whether delusion is not more consoling"
Henri Poincare
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Walker1800
I was not 'bi' like MJ and Oak. I think I walked away but I cannot know for sure because it was during the 'Fog Years'. Actually, I was more like the guy that says to his boss, "I quit!" and then the boss replies, "Then you're fired!"
I left and when Corps assignment time came, I refused an assignment. LCM sent me a cordial letter telling me that I was 'dropped from active Corps'.
Does that make me 'bi'? Ooh. Now I wished you never brought this up.
Walker
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krys
I walked away. I think the cirumstances that led up to that are what hurt the most...not leaving the organization.It's been 5 years, and it still hurts.
Sometimes I wonder if I will really recover. I'm better than I was...and a lot stronger. Even today, I find it nearly impossible to really fully trust anybody. That's a terrible way to live.
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mj412
Bi?????
come on now... what does that imlpy?
when they tell you not to attend fellowship and hold a meeting telling everyone why.
believe me it isnt my choice.
but I also didnt have choice leaving on my own cause it was clear to me I didnt want to stay and be a part of something I didnt understand anymore.
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bowtwi
MJ - I think 'bi" means left twice.
My personal opinion is that it was tougher to leave before Waydale and GreaseSpot.
I was M&A'd and it got so much easier on my heart once I learned what had really been going on. I then stopped expecting them to call when they figured out their mistake.
I think it would be tough to have to decide to leave, but to be falsely accused and kicked out without warning might be even tougher.
If one has warning and agrees to be on probation or whatever they do, that might not be as much of a shock - cause at least you know that they're considering kicking you out.
How we could let them have that power over us - I pray I never let anyone have that kind of power over me again! Probably why I don't expect to remarry.
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Nottawayfer
I left twice, but on my own accord. I left in 1990 after lcm drew the line in '89 and demanded loyalty. I went back in 1992. Then I left just recently. I was never m&a'd; I guess I was too good a little wayfer. I guess the closest I ever came to being on twi's sheetlist is when I didn't give in to one FCs demands to involve her in every detail of my life. She was mini-martinpuke. Sad thing is: she really believes that you have to control EVERYTHING!!
My ex-boyfriend and I lived on opposite coasts before he moved to my coast. I planned a trip to visit him and called the FC to let her know I wouldn't be at fellowship because of my trip. I was still looking for work after leaving HQ, but I had been working temporary jobs to cover my living expenses and this trip. After letting the FC know I wasn't going to be at fellowship because of the trip, she said: "NO, I don't think that's best for your life. You are looking for a job, and you will be missing days from doing that." I told her my decision was made and I wasn't asking her permission.
TWI is kinder, gentler? I think the top dogs need to look at the middle dogs to see what the hell they are doing.
There once was a girl from Nantucket....
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bowtwi
I agree with you, Wayfer, and admire how you're handling things.
really just posted so I could say the following:
who had a big crush on pawtucket...
GO BUCS!
[This message was edited by bowtwi on January 25, 2003 at 13:03.]
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mj412
Shock you say?
One phone call.
I loved the guy ( I still believe he was a good man and loved God and His children)twi and its men of god came first tho..
I would say shocked.
cried for a year when I was m/a.
Cry for a life time when I walked away.
no regrets.
thank you for the "bi" info um what was I thinking?
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Stayed Too Long
I pretty much did the two part thing also. Left in 79 and returned in 83 because I felt horribly bad about leaving. Hung around until 96 when they booted me.
By the time they m&a'ed me I knew I had Stayed Too Long.
Don't allow resentment and bitterness to hinder healing.
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WAYout
I tried to get out, but was M&A'd first. It made for a much more painful exit that still stings when I think of it today.
I got involved in TWI in 91' although the family that encouraged me to join had been close to me for a couple of years before. During the 93' ROA believers were encouraged to move in together and that family and I did. During the ensuing year I began having REAL problems with corrupt local leadership and ever more present Doctrinal errors. I had decided to move out from the family in the fall and "fade away". I still had many friends in the Ministry (Including my younger brother) and I figured I'd need to be careful not to make any of my "innie" friends feel that I disrespected thier stand with the Ministrty.
ROA 94' came up and it came as a shock to many that I would not be going. I made no hard stand, just came up with other commitments and wished them well. The following week after ROA 94' I was wakened and told my BC was waiting for me to attend a meeting. He claimed that during the Rock he was given "Technicolor" revelation that I had a homosexual spirit in me and that I was M&A. My only recourse was to leave the house immediately (the apartment I was to lease would not be available for 6 weeks) and that if I wished to get back "in the house of Zion" I would be required to work with the BC exclusively. (i always found it ironic that they used the fact that I had a girlfriend to "prove" the homosexual demon spirit!) Unless the BC granted it, I was to have NO contact with my friends or my Brother within the fellowship.
I'll never forget that moment. I was SO mad I could have killed that man. What hurt the most was that my friends gave me no support. They had been stripped of the Twig that they ran and were thankful to still be in fellowship. To me it was no choice at all. I collected a backpack of clothes and walked out. I spent a couple of weeks sleeping on the couch of a friend, and scraped enough $$ for a different apartment.
A year later my brother walked out on his own, and to me the Ministry was then DEAD. I still miss many of my old friends, but I could never trust them again.
I often wonder if I would still have my "surrogate family" if I would have gotten out before that a**hole BC Marked and Avoided me.
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Hope R.
Bowtwi wrote:
Yup - and even easier to leave after the first lawsuit and LCM's excommunication.
We got kicked out, but I would have rather left under my own steam. What I wanted to say was "you can't fire me - I QUIT!" - but never had the opportunity.
I know I suffered for over 5 years by staying in when I wanted out. Getting the boot was a relief for me.
But I agree with what bowtwi said, and will go back even further: I think it was tougher to leave OR get kicked out when VP was running things. Most of us were so convinced that anyone who left was possessed or insane that we wrote them off - they'd "tripped out". The isolation these people experienced was probably devastating to them.
So many people left after PoP, sometimes whole fellowships, so at least you had company no matter how you left TWI.
I've always compared leaving TWI to quitting smoking. It's hard at first - you suffer from withdrawal, you crave it, but know it's not good for you so you stay away from it. As time passes, each day it gets easier and easier to live without it, you don't think about it that often and when you do, you have no desire to go back to it. Eventually, you can't believe you ever did anything to harm yourself so badly. And finally, just the thought of it is repugnant.
Hope R. color>size>face>
GO BUCS!!!size> color>
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Dot Matrix
ACD_
I left on my own with enough guilt and feelings like I was going to die at any time for leaving.
I think being booted out is worse! Those poor people! The confusion and shame TWI heaped on anyone they booted was horrific!
My love to all you guys!
Dot Matrix
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rascal
My husband refused to send in a *loyalt oath* letter.....and though we were never told we COULDN`T attend twig....it was made clear that we were spiritually *suspicious*
So while Hubby was not involved.... wasn`t allowed to accept further assignments...I still faithfully attended.
I didn`t pick up on it at first d`uh ... I was STILL as committed and on fire as I ever was...but all of a sudden... I had lost all respect and credibility ...I was someone who everybody WISHED would get the message and stop showing up....but nobody ever had the nerve to come right out and say it.
It was so dissapointing, I wasn`t invited for coffee anymore, bowling, or other activities.... people for whom I had been a *sister* and whom I had loved for almost a decade.. now regarding me as *unsavory*...it really hurt knowing I had not changed ...but all of a sudden everyone else saw me as something contemptable...I was even mad at hubby for a while for bringing this shame upon us...poor guy.
All of those years of following the game plan.....sacrificing our goals and dreams and obeying the leaders instead...... our utmost for his highest...multiple wow years..adv class...corps....you know how proud we were of these accomplishments ... the *status* that those name tags garnered for us...lol...it all meant NOTHING...you were lower than the newest newbie...after all of those years of service to God meant squat....sigh
So for me ...it was a slow drawn out weaning...probably the most gentle of departures...however, because there was never any decisive closing point....It was many years before I began to mentally review my destructive thought processes...question my beliefs..which delayed my reentry into *normal* society by several more years.
I cannot imagine the horror of being m&a`d ... you who went through this I am so sorry.
Cathy
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frank123lol
Left the first time over I put my livlihood over attending tc meetings Hell my decision got me the job I have held over 12 years now
2nd time over the debt thing,Also to lurking on Waydale and then Greasespot,Also to alot of you out there I would mention handles but I would probably miss someone,Thanks all.
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Lightside
This is recent folks.
Last week a innie called an outie and invited them to dinner. The outie-exwaycorps.
No ministry stuff was mentioned at the dinner.
Yesterday, a innie of 39 years called an outie and asked if they wanted to get together at a non-ministry related function. Outtie said OK.
In the phone conversation, yesterday, the innie mentioned feeling sad about all the the way believers that "pulled out of the ministry".
Outtie quickly mentioned that the majority, including the outtie were kicked out for minor reasons. Innie knew almost nothing about the real reasons believers were kicked out; and even mentioned another outtie who "pulled out" because, according to innie, they wanted to buy a house. Outtie than stated that that was incorrect. They left because of the lawsuits.
I think that many innies are getting lonesome and making contact with outties is OK. But the innies
are not being told the truth as to the reasons they left or were kicked out.
I was blessed to hear that this outtie had the courage to confront the innie on their error and misinformation.
This wonderful outtie was treated like a terrorist by the way ministry, kicked out for no reason and not allowed to even talk to a way believer. This outtie has recovered miracliously from this spiritual abuse and had the love for these way believers to talk and reason with them.
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A la prochaine
I think being M&A'd is worse than leaving on your own.
We were first dropped from our corps status, which nearly flattened us completely, then a few months later were told we were no longer welcome at the Way.
We were isolated and had no one to communicate with. No one contacted us. We couldn't figure out what exactly we had done wrong. So for 8 yrs. we plodded along, with so much pain and hurt.
Then we found GS and Waydale. Then the answers came. Then we found out about the lawsuits and the 'rest of the story' and the pieces slowly started falling into place. I know if we hadn't found these places, we would still be wanderers.
'til the next time...
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socks
A la Prochaine, you're home, and home is where the heart is. You wander no more, pilgrim! There's peace in the valley, a fire burning, veggies on the wok, wine in the glass, and a DAM comfy couch. Oh yeah, and "out here" YOU get to hold the Remote.
:)-->
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quack
[This message was edited by socks on January 27, 2003 at 0:05.]
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socks
Hope you said this and it reminded me of something:
Recntly, a Dr. told me something about quitting smoking that totally surprised me. Check this out. He said that the actual withdrawal from the nicotine addiction is only about 24-48 hours. That's it. Your body won't "want" it after that.
So I asked him, what's all the big deal about it being so hard, it IS hard y'know.
He said the personal habits around it are what's hard. It's a mental battle and a tough one, but the physical stuff? Couple days. He also said all the publicity about how hard it is, was in his opinion, counter productive and helpful to tobacco companies. People become AFRAID to guit, thinking it's too hard so why try?
Interesting hey? I too see some similarities there.
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quack
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ChasUFarley
M&A'ed (or kicked out) vs. leaving on your own:
My first husband was M&A'ed and it was nearly devistating to his life. We are not in contact anymore but I know he was still holding on to the dream of getting back into the ministry, back within the Walls of Zion (puke!) - when we spoke 3 years ago. He lost everything with being M&A'ed - job (we were on staff), wife, friends, and all he had left was his family. This was in 1997-ish...
I left in 2000 but had time to prepare - I knew what I was going to do - what I needed to do and had Waydale and the support of several outie friends along the way. It made things earier on me. When I spoke with leadership the night I left there was no screaming or yelling - in fact, it was so pleasant I thought to myself that if things were like that all the time, I wouldn't bother leaving.
I think being M&A'ed, and especially during the time of the "homo hunt" was the hardest on people - there was so much FEAR taught (i.e. no protection outside the walls of Zion; the collective believing of the household, etc.) that people were made to think they were SCREWED if they weren't in TWI.
Funny that all the real 'screwing' was with the innies!
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Digger
I took a different path. After spending the bulk of one weekend reading the Greasespot, immediately after the announcement was made of LCM's resignation, I went to fellowship wired and looking for answers, specificially if he was going to be marked and avoided. My coordinater childed me for making such comments in the middle of felowship, but promised me that she would look into the situation. When I got home I was later called by the branch coordinator, who basically told me to stay off the Internet and mind my own business. The next day I faxed a letter of resignation to my coordinator, telling her that I could no longer state for such a corrupt and evil organization. I never went back or looked back!!!!
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