I was never hurt that bad for it to be a concern of mine.. The things that did happen which seemed devasting at the time have been greatly dissipated by the passage of time. To me most of my way experience is as relevant to who I am today as is a grade school fight would be....that is--it could trigger a memory but probably not the feeling, except in passing.
I like to think that any anger, bitterness,or negative emotional baggage was worked out and left behind long ago.
...even with that it would probably still depend on the persons approach whether I decided to interact with them or not.
If they were 'reasonably Ok" I may stay on the periphery for awhile before getting involved , or if they were still being a "pr*ck" I may either avoid them or go medival on their a$$ :biglaugh:
Suppose you there was a MOG or mini-MOG (I'll call him Crappy MOG) in your past that made your life a living hell. You left twi, recovered nicely from waybrain, and then found the Cafe. You have spent time reading and posting and have really grown to like a certain poster's (I'll call him PosterX) style - their POV on all things way, post-way and anti-way. You've even sent a few PM's his way and gotten some really well thought out responses.
Then one day you find out that PosterX is in reality Crappy MOG :o - the guy who gave you sh)t long ago while your brain was being dissected for religious studies and experiments with lexicons.
Do you say, "MY, oh MY how he's changed!"???
or
"That SOB gave me sh)t! I'll give him sh)t back now..."
or do you just go get another cup of coffee and shrug how life moves on and people change without your influence...
People do things in certain circumstances they would never do otherwise. I've been reading and posting here since the beginning and before that on WayDale. I've read posts from little peons (just twig coordinators and such) who were truly sorry for actions they had taken because they were Way Brained at the time. I had a bad experience in Philadelphia with a paid on-staff corps leader. He died not that long ago but before doing so he wrote me a long e-mail explaining his position and why he did as he did. I accepted it without question because I knew he was basically a good man. I think most of us did whatever we could to get people to "take the class".
It was a crazy mixed up world we were in. No life should revolve around a class. We all had various pressures on us to do things for the cause.
I'd like to believe that I'd marvel that Crappy MOG became a normal person.
To be honest, I might ask that person straight up about what happened. Twi was such that even though we thought we were concerned with people, in reality we constantly found ourselves focusing on ourselves - and not in a healthy manner.
I've always been very reflective - and yet an extrovert. It's an odd combination, but I've always thought that if I could make people laugh and get out of themselves for a little while - they could see each other more clearly.
Now if only I could find my internal reading glasses!...
Well, I guess I`d want to pm that poster and tell them how their actions had impacted my life. They then would have the oportunity to recognise and apologise for what they had done or not.
I would then have the oportunity to forgive or not.
If I were the one who had wronged someone, I would want the chance to apologise.
I actively participate in revenge by making the other person's life as miserable as they made mine...
Seriously though, this is how I figger it. I have come a long way baby. I look back at myself when I was younger and I say, "Was that me? Did I really think that way?" That person no longer exists. Yet, it is who I was years ago. I have grown and matured and now much wiser. Geez, the stupid and hurtful things I did, said and believed in my youth. I just chalk others actions up to the same thing.
I still regret hurting my mother as I did. I believed "leader""ship" that I should stay away from my natural family because they were not in twi. But my mama never held a grudge. She loved me and prayed for me and held me in high esteem despite my hurtful behavior. Some years later I was talking to her about this I asked her to forgive me for hurting her so. She pssshhhddd...and said I know you didn't mean anything by it. You were just a kid. Now that has taught me how I should look at others. I believe I am who I am today because of her being one of our Fathers faithful.
If I had a specific situation that bugged me, I would ask them about it. Otherwise, I would believe they were wearing rose-colored glassess like most of us were and let bygones be bygones.
Well, I guess I`d want to pm that poster and tell them how their actions had impacted my life. They then would have the oportunity to recognise and apologise for what they had done or not.
I would then have the oportunity to forgive or not.
If I were the one who had wronged someone, I would want the chance to apologise.
I think that this is probably how I would respond, as well. Of course, it was only the last Houston BC (while I was still in) that it would pertain to. I fellowship now with one of my old BC's, another is dead, and then there's Rhino, my first BC and Class Coordinator. He keeps apologizing for that, even though I thought he was great.
Followed by desire to stick a thousand knives in them.
Followed by recognition that they were as deluded as the rest of us and probably worse.
Yes, confrontation/closure might be welcome. Maybe necessary.
I guess I actually need to be grateful to the person who so meanly and cruelly enjoyed kicking me out, otherwise I might not have left, too much kool-aid. Or maybe I would just have left later and never felt the need to beat myself up so badly afterwards.
Relayed to me by another poster, said by someone here: "TWI was like Miracle-Gro for all our faults."
If "CrappyMOG" had been a basically decent person prior to TWI involvement, s/he might welcome the opportunity to apologize, being basically decent. If "CrappyMoG" had been a mean and unpleasant person prior to involvement, they probably still would be and would still think they were right (viz some of the splinter MoGs). And I would view their posts as "PosterX" with some suspicion.
Then one day you find out that PosterX is in reality Crappy MOG :o - the guy who gave you sh)t long ago while your brain was being dissected for religious studies and experiments with lexicons.
Ya know... if you'd have called him a Lewd Crappy Mog - and you look only at the first letters - you have LCM - a true lewd crappy (fake) mog.
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waysider
Yeah, I've thought about that.
But I figure, I was probably my own worst enemy.
Most of my disappointment is with the organization as a whole and not so much with individuals.
(Aside from the obvious VPW, LCM, etc.)
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mstar1
I was never hurt that bad for it to be a concern of mine.. The things that did happen which seemed devasting at the time have been greatly dissipated by the passage of time. To me most of my way experience is as relevant to who I am today as is a grade school fight would be....that is--it could trigger a memory but probably not the feeling, except in passing.
I like to think that any anger, bitterness,or negative emotional baggage was worked out and left behind long ago.
...even with that it would probably still depend on the persons approach whether I decided to interact with them or not.
If they were 'reasonably Ok" I may stay on the periphery for awhile before getting involved , or if they were still being a "pr*ck" I may either avoid them or go medival on their a$$
:biglaugh:
dunno until it happens
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doojable
Maybe I need to re-phrase the question:
Suppose you there was a MOG or mini-MOG (I'll call him Crappy MOG) in your past that made your life a living hell. You left twi, recovered nicely from waybrain, and then found the Cafe. You have spent time reading and posting and have really grown to like a certain poster's (I'll call him PosterX) style - their POV on all things way, post-way and anti-way. You've even sent a few PM's his way and gotten some really well thought out responses.
Then one day you find out that PosterX is in reality Crappy MOG :o - the guy who gave you sh)t long ago while your brain was being dissected for religious studies and experiments with lexicons.
Do you say, "MY, oh MY how he's changed!"???
or
"That SOB gave me sh)t! I'll give him sh)t back now..."
or do you just go get another cup of coffee and shrug how life moves on and people change without your influence...
Just a question...I must need more coffee
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Sudo
Dooj,
People do things in certain circumstances they would never do otherwise. I've been reading and posting here since the beginning and before that on WayDale. I've read posts from little peons (just twig coordinators and such) who were truly sorry for actions they had taken because they were Way Brained at the time. I had a bad experience in Philadelphia with a paid on-staff corps leader. He died not that long ago but before doing so he wrote me a long e-mail explaining his position and why he did as he did. I accepted it without question because I knew he was basically a good man. I think most of us did whatever we could to get people to "take the class".
sudo
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doojable
Agreed Sudo...
It was a crazy mixed up world we were in. No life should revolve around a class. We all had various pressures on us to do things for the cause.
I'd like to believe that I'd marvel that Crappy MOG became a normal person.
To be honest, I might ask that person straight up about what happened. Twi was such that even though we thought we were concerned with people, in reality we constantly found ourselves focusing on ourselves - and not in a healthy manner.
I've always been very reflective - and yet an extrovert. It's an odd combination, but I've always thought that if I could make people laugh and get out of themselves for a little while - they could see each other more clearly.
Now if only I could find my internal reading glasses!...
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rascal
Well, I guess I`d want to pm that poster and tell them how their actions had impacted my life. They then would have the oportunity to recognise and apologise for what they had done or not.
I would then have the oportunity to forgive or not.
If I were the one who had wronged someone, I would want the chance to apologise.
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kimberly
I actively participate in revenge by making the other person's life as miserable as they made mine...
Seriously though, this is how I figger it. I have come a long way baby. I look back at myself when I was younger and I say, "Was that me? Did I really think that way?" That person no longer exists. Yet, it is who I was years ago. I have grown and matured and now much wiser. Geez, the stupid and hurtful things I did, said and believed in my youth. I just chalk others actions up to the same thing.
I still regret hurting my mother as I did. I believed "leader""ship" that I should stay away from my natural family because they were not in twi. But my mama never held a grudge. She loved me and prayed for me and held me in high esteem despite my hurtful behavior. Some years later I was talking to her about this I asked her to forgive me for hurting her so. She pssshhhddd...and said I know you didn't mean anything by it. You were just a kid. Now that has taught me how I should look at others. I believe I am who I am today because of her being one of our Fathers faithful.
O. K.... getting emotional here.
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Zshot
The best revenge you can do to somebody that has wronged you is...
Be happier than that person.
Be more successfull than that person.
Not giving that person the satisfaction of knowing that you may have cared what that person said or thought.
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Nottawayfer
If I had a specific situation that bugged me, I would ask them about it. Otherwise, I would believe they were wearing rose-colored glassess like most of us were and let bygones be bygones.
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coolchef
i would forgive "rev" dana armweak for breaking up my marrage after punching him in the nose
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GeorgeStGeorge
I think that this is probably how I would respond, as well. Of course, it was only the last Houston BC (while I was still in) that it would pertain to. I fellowship now with one of my old BC's, another is dead, and then there's Rhino, my first BC and Class Coordinator. He keeps apologizing for that, even though I thought he was great.
:)
George
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WordWolf
I'd probably start with shock, then being impressed that they matured enough that I was impressed
with the person they are now.
I suppose after that, I'd probably seek a little closure myself. After all, I think we all did SOMETHING
worth apologizing over back then- those who say they never did, probably most of all.
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doojable
That's about how I feel WW. Though I must admit, it might take me more than a few steps back before I got to the "impressed" part.
A lot would revolve around how forthcoming they were in discussing the past honestly.
Apologies can be cheap. I'd have to take into account the changes made.
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Oakspear
Well, if I was someone else's "evil S.O.B.", please let me know!
T0m J0yce
Lincoln NE, originally from Queens NY
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waysider
edited
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doojable
Just to be clear...
I was truly pondering this question. I do NOT have some "big reveal" to share, nor do I expect everyone to bare their souls on this thread.
Thanks for all the well thought out posts.
Sometimes I think it's worthwhile to consider the "what ifs" because every now and again they turn into "WTFs."
Have fun today!
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waterbuffalo
If they made a lot of sense, I'd be happy that they were in recovery.
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Twinky
Shock and horror.
Followed by desire to stick a thousand knives in them.
Followed by recognition that they were as deluded as the rest of us and probably worse.
Yes, confrontation/closure might be welcome. Maybe necessary.
I guess I actually need to be grateful to the person who so meanly and cruelly enjoyed kicking me out, otherwise I might not have left, too much kool-aid. Or maybe I would just have left later and never felt the need to beat myself up so badly afterwards.
Relayed to me by another poster, said by someone here: "TWI was like Miracle-Gro for all our faults."
If "CrappyMOG" had been a basically decent person prior to TWI involvement, s/he might welcome the opportunity to apologize, being basically decent. If "CrappyMoG" had been a mean and unpleasant person prior to involvement, they probably still would be and would still think they were right (viz some of the splinter MoGs). And I would view their posts as "PosterX" with some suspicion.
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doojable
"...desire to stick a thousand knives in them."
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RumRunner
Ya know... if you'd have called him a Lewd Crappy Mog - and you look only at the first letters - you have LCM - a true lewd crappy (fake) mog.
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doojable
True - but LCM is too chicken to post here... so why make the "what if" that much more impossible to consider?
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RumRunner
Uhh - I don't understand your point. Must be the air where you live.
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doojable
Doesn't matter...
Carry on with the thread... I'll just read.
toodles...
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doojable
Edited to delete another unclear post.
I won't vouch for the air quality where I live.
Have a good day where you live.
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