And, I wouldn't spend much time looking for the "right" woman anyway. Helen Hunt may look good on the big screen, but in real life I'm sure she has as much baggage as the next. I'm becoming pretty sure relationships (at least with women) simply aren't worth the effort. A nice hobby probably makes a lot more sense...
The right woman (and she IS out there) is worth waiting for. The RIGHT relationship is worth waiting for as well. I didn't find mine until I was 40, and it was well worth the wait. All of that crap I dealt with beforehand was just polishing me up to be ready for the amazing husband I have.
Your heart to want to be better for yourself says VOLUMES about your chacter. Good luck to you!
Yeah, yer "soul mate" is out there buddy, you bet.
Uh, you're welcome to believe in the Easter Bunny too.
I guess life wouldn't be complete without giving a love life a whirl. But, be aware of what you're putting on the line. And take a look around. How many really happy, successful couples do you even KNOW of? And how many will still be that way in another 5 or 10 years? I rest my case.
Yeah, it's nice to have a loving mate I guess. And maybe life gets a little boring without one. But for shear I'm-gonna-go-and-ducttape-my-head-to-a-railroad-track desolation it takes a woman screwing with your mind. There's simply no other way to get there.
So, be aware of what you're risking, and - Be careful out there!
Please do tell what you've learned about yourself and relationships before making mass statements about marriage. I'm not saying you are a bad person. Maybe you still need some learning about your experience before you give advice about marriage or women. You do seem very jaded on those two subjects.
If a person aspires to be single in this culture and speaks clearly on why they are subject to being insulted and degraded as somhow not being as learned as those who enter into the institution of marriage.
America loves any kind of co-dependcy even if your miserable and have to spend your life "working" on making a marriage ok to live with it is somhow better than those JADED singles out there.
I read George as saying be aware of what your geting into and CLEARLY marriage is in the very least alot of work and at its worse a heart break many never recover from to repeat all of the pain into the next and the next and the next.. and then teach their children how do it it for the next generation all to please the masses of what society accepts as normal.
I rebel myself, i watch couples live out their life and i do not see how IM missing to much . money maybe. but hey I aint sharing mine either with anyone or for anything I do not want to.
and i aint fighting about it either.
oh yeah and im a girl and I am not jaded just capable of not blaming the "relationship" for what goes wrong in my life.
Seth
you are one very wise dude I read your post and you want to take the pills FOR YOU ! yippe that is a wise choice because anyone who is anyone knows completly we cant change anyone but our own self.
good luck Seth with your plans.
But know this some do not need a marriage or a long term contract of love that more than 50 percent of the time FAILS , to be happy or find peace in life!
Please do tell what you've learned about yourself and relationships before making mass statements about marriage. I'm not saying you are a bad person. Maybe you still need some learning about your experience before you give advice about marriage or women. You do seem very jaded on those two subjects.
Maybe YOU just haven't the joy of watching your "wonderful" relationship hit the rocks yet? Give it some time, you may get there.
Just look at the statistics. Over HALF of all marriages fail in the U.S. And the stats for subsequent ones are even worse. And nobody's even keeping track of how well the ones that last are doing.
It's a dangerous game, that's all I'm saying. And to go into it without being frightfully aware of that is a major failing on everyone's part, IMNSHO. Disasterous, mind altering, painful, psychosis-inducing, suicide-promoting, substance-abuse-enabling relationships are COMMONPLACE, dare I say, almost the NORM. Just ask around GS and you'll find HUNDREDS.
Personally, I've had two broken engagements and one failed marriage over the last 30 years or so. I don't think that I'm in anyway an exception. Far from it, even my lawyer told me I "fit the profile".
In the past we had the good sense to die a lot younger, before we managed to grow apart. Nowadays we live longer, have the resources and lack of social constraints to dissolve unions almost at will. And LOTS of people do.
Like I said, it's a dangerous game.
Do what you like Seth (I'm sure you will), but watch out for yourself. They all seem perfect at first...
Seth just taking care of yourself is a big deal! Making changes in yourself to please somebody else is really futile - - but to do it for yourself is really the best reason! I'm happy for you.
Maybe YOU just haven't the joy of watching your "wonderful" relationship hit the rocks yet? Give it some time, you may get there.
Just look at the statistics. Over HALF of all marriages fail in the U.S. And the stats for subsequent ones are even worse. And nobody's even keeping track of how well the ones that last are doing.
It's a dangerous game, that's all I'm saying. And to go into it without being frightfully aware of that is a major failing on everyone's part, IMNSHO. Disasterous, mind altering, painful, psychosis-inducing, suicide-promoting, substance-abuse-enabling relationships are COMMONPLACE, dare I say, almost the NORM. Just ask around GS and you'll find HUNDREDS.
Personally, I've had two broken engagements and one failed marriage over the last 30 years or so. I don't think that I'm in anyway an exception. Far from it, even my lawyer told me I "fit the profile".
In the past we had the good sense to die a lot younger, before we managed to grow apart. Nowadays we live longer, have the resources and lack of social constraints to dissolve unions almost at will. And LOTS of people do.
Like I said, it's a dangerous game.
Do what you like Seth (I'm sure you will), but watch out for yourself. They all seem perfect at first...
I witnessed the crappy marriage of my parents. I witnessed my own first crappy marriage along with other crappy relationships. After the misery, I looked inward and reflected on what mistakes I made. It didn't matter what the other person did, they weren't around anymore. I wanted to know what I could do to change my situation. I wanted something different, but I had to change me first.
My experience has been that men become clueless of what's happening because they do it for so long and don't hear the women complain. They also contribute the complaining to "I'll NEVER maker her happy." The women think complaining and bitching is communication. It's a terrible mix. The problem is that people have uncommunicated expectations of each other from the beginning.
I've been with my husband for 5 years next month, and it is still wonderful. We started off talking and learning about each other BEFORE we decided to get married. We didn't hook up mainly because of sexual attraction, which is what dooms many relationships. We learned what makes the other feel loved, and we honored each other enough to carry it out for each other. And the thing that keeps it going: we still do honor each other enough to be sure to show the little things that makes the other feel loved.
We didn't go our own way to our job and come home to soak in our own life. We want to live life TOGETHER. A lot of couples forget to do that. They may want to, but they lose track of what they originally wanted and then get comfortable in less than desirable habits. Then they want something different. I guess that's why they say marriage is commitment. If someone can't commit to living TOGETHER with their partner, then they should stay alone.
The harsh reality is that - despite the wonderful vows we take and promises we make - nobody can know where the OTHER person's head and heart is going to be in the future. People can and DO grow apart, grow cold to each other, grow complacent. And despite how much one partner may want to, there's no way to guarantee that the OTHER will remain a willing participant. ONE can't make a successful marriage, though one is more than enough to screw it up, if they really want to.
That's why I say, it's a dangerous thing. One party does NOT have total control, and in modern society it seems like the preference is to break up rather than work out, run off rather than confront, abandon rather than compromise.
Have some fun by all means, but be careful out there Seth...
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GeorgeStGeorge
Best wishes! :)
George
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George Aar
Best to you Seth.
And, I wouldn't spend much time looking for the "right" woman anyway. Helen Hunt may look good on the big screen, but in real life I'm sure she has as much baggage as the next. I'm becoming pretty sure relationships (at least with women) simply aren't worth the effort. A nice hobby probably makes a lot more sense...
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Nottawayfer
Seth,
Don't listen to old curmudgeons.
The right woman (and she IS out there) is worth waiting for. The RIGHT relationship is worth waiting for as well. I didn't find mine until I was 40, and it was well worth the wait. All of that crap I dealt with beforehand was just polishing me up to be ready for the amazing husband I have.
Your heart to want to be better for yourself says VOLUMES about your chacter. Good luck to you!
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George Aar
Yeah, yer "soul mate" is out there buddy, you bet.
Uh, you're welcome to believe in the Easter Bunny too.
I guess life wouldn't be complete without giving a love life a whirl. But, be aware of what you're putting on the line. And take a look around. How many really happy, successful couples do you even KNOW of? And how many will still be that way in another 5 or 10 years? I rest my case.
Yeah, it's nice to have a loving mate I guess. And maybe life gets a little boring without one. But for shear I'm-gonna-go-and-ducttape-my-head-to-a-railroad-track desolation it takes a woman screwing with your mind. There's simply no other way to get there.
So, be aware of what you're risking, and - Be careful out there!
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Abigail
Since I am still unable to embed, my lovely bride has allowed me to use her account to post this. This one's for you George.
Btw, this is from Sushi.
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Nottawayfer
George,
Please do tell what you've learned about yourself and relationships before making mass statements about marriage. I'm not saying you are a bad person. Maybe you still need some learning about your experience before you give advice about marriage or women. You do seem very jaded on those two subjects.
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pond
Here we goo!!!
I agree with my brother George.
If a person aspires to be single in this culture and speaks clearly on why they are subject to being insulted and degraded as somhow not being as learned as those who enter into the institution of marriage.
America loves any kind of co-dependcy even if your miserable and have to spend your life "working" on making a marriage ok to live with it is somhow better than those JADED singles out there.
I read George as saying be aware of what your geting into and CLEARLY marriage is in the very least alot of work and at its worse a heart break many never recover from to repeat all of the pain into the next and the next and the next.. and then teach their children how do it it for the next generation all to please the masses of what society accepts as normal.
I rebel myself, i watch couples live out their life and i do not see how IM missing to much . money maybe. but hey I aint sharing mine either with anyone or for anything I do not want to.
and i aint fighting about it either.
oh yeah and im a girl and I am not jaded just capable of not blaming the "relationship" for what goes wrong in my life.
Seth
you are one very wise dude I read your post and you want to take the pills FOR YOU ! yippe that is a wise choice because anyone who is anyone knows completly we cant change anyone but our own self.
good luck Seth with your plans.
But know this some do not need a marriage or a long term contract of love that more than 50 percent of the time FAILS , to be happy or find peace in life!
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George Aar
Maybe YOU just haven't the joy of watching your "wonderful" relationship hit the rocks yet? Give it some time, you may get there.
Just look at the statistics. Over HALF of all marriages fail in the U.S. And the stats for subsequent ones are even worse. And nobody's even keeping track of how well the ones that last are doing.
It's a dangerous game, that's all I'm saying. And to go into it without being frightfully aware of that is a major failing on everyone's part, IMNSHO. Disasterous, mind altering, painful, psychosis-inducing, suicide-promoting, substance-abuse-enabling relationships are COMMONPLACE, dare I say, almost the NORM. Just ask around GS and you'll find HUNDREDS.
Personally, I've had two broken engagements and one failed marriage over the last 30 years or so. I don't think that I'm in anyway an exception. Far from it, even my lawyer told me I "fit the profile".
In the past we had the good sense to die a lot younger, before we managed to grow apart. Nowadays we live longer, have the resources and lack of social constraints to dissolve unions almost at will. And LOTS of people do.
Like I said, it's a dangerous game.
Do what you like Seth (I'm sure you will), but watch out for yourself. They all seem perfect at first...
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krys
Seth just taking care of yourself is a big deal! Making changes in yourself to please somebody else is really futile - - but to do it for yourself is really the best reason! I'm happy for you.
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Nottawayfer
I witnessed the crappy marriage of my parents. I witnessed my own first crappy marriage along with other crappy relationships. After the misery, I looked inward and reflected on what mistakes I made. It didn't matter what the other person did, they weren't around anymore. I wanted to know what I could do to change my situation. I wanted something different, but I had to change me first.
My experience has been that men become clueless of what's happening because they do it for so long and don't hear the women complain. They also contribute the complaining to "I'll NEVER maker her happy." The women think complaining and bitching is communication. It's a terrible mix. The problem is that people have uncommunicated expectations of each other from the beginning.
I've been with my husband for 5 years next month, and it is still wonderful. We started off talking and learning about each other BEFORE we decided to get married. We didn't hook up mainly because of sexual attraction, which is what dooms many relationships. We learned what makes the other feel loved, and we honored each other enough to carry it out for each other. And the thing that keeps it going: we still do honor each other enough to be sure to show the little things that makes the other feel loved.
We didn't go our own way to our job and come home to soak in our own life. We want to live life TOGETHER. A lot of couples forget to do that. They may want to, but they lose track of what they originally wanted and then get comfortable in less than desirable habits. Then they want something different. I guess that's why they say marriage is commitment. If someone can't commit to living TOGETHER with their partner, then they should stay alone.
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George Aar
The harsh reality is that - despite the wonderful vows we take and promises we make - nobody can know where the OTHER person's head and heart is going to be in the future. People can and DO grow apart, grow cold to each other, grow complacent. And despite how much one partner may want to, there's no way to guarantee that the OTHER will remain a willing participant. ONE can't make a successful marriage, though one is more than enough to screw it up, if they really want to.
That's why I say, it's a dangerous thing. One party does NOT have total control, and in modern society it seems like the preference is to break up rather than work out, run off rather than confront, abandon rather than compromise.
Have some fun by all means, but be careful out there Seth...
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