On a diet???

[Cindy!]

For those of us on a diet...

Guide to Sex & Calories

It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World, here are the true caloric benefits of sex.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With consent....................... 12 Calories

Without consent.................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands........................ 8 Calories

With one hand.......................... 12 Calories

With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection....................... 6 Calories

Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:

Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories

Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary............................. 12 Calories

69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories

69 standing up......................... 112 Calories

Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories

Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories

Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories

ORGASM:

Real................................... 112 Calories

False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories

Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...... 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories

30-39 years............................ 80 Calories

40-49 years............................ 124 Calories

50-59 years............................ 972 Calories

60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories

70 and over.............................Death

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly................................. 32 Calories

In a hurry............................. 98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door....3521 Calories