What would Jesus drive! I say a Ford Fiesta,I knew a Jesus that had one.
"For centuries, theologians have squabbled over the type of transportation the Lord would use: Public transit or private car? Stick shift or automatic? A sport-utility vehicle roomy enough for all 12 apostles or an economy model?
"One of Ostler's readers theorized that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.''
But our research department found several other scenarios. In Psalm 83, for example, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
(We're not sure how a Geo Storm could be considered terrifying, unless it had those scary shooting flames painted on the sides.)
Another scripture indicates that Yahweh favored Dodge pickup trucks. Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain until "the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells a crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say.'"
However, there is debate over whether the vehicle had bumper stickers such as "Save the Humans," "My other car is a flaming chariot" or "Honk if you love me."
Meanwhile, Moses drove a British Triumph sports car, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph too, with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles carpooled in a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."
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cheranne
What would Jesus drive! I say a Ford Fiesta,I knew a Jesus that had one.
"For centuries, theologians have squabbled over the type of transportation the Lord would use: Public transit or private car? Stick shift or automatic? A sport-utility vehicle roomy enough for all 12 apostles or an economy model?
"One of Ostler's readers theorized that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.''
But our research department found several other scenarios. In Psalm 83, for example, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
(We're not sure how a Geo Storm could be considered terrifying, unless it had those scary shooting flames painted on the sides.)
Another scripture indicates that Yahweh favored Dodge pickup trucks. Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain until "the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells a crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say.'"
However, there is debate over whether the vehicle had bumper stickers such as "Save the Humans," "My other car is a flaming chariot" or "Honk if you love me."
Meanwhile, Moses drove a British Triumph sports car, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph too, with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles carpooled in a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."
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