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The Limerick Thread


doojable
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Jack and Jill went up the hill

to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down

and broke his crown

and Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got and off did trot

as fast as he could caper,

To old Dame Dob

Who patched his nob

with vinegar and brown paper.

I don't think this may qualify as a limerick. But anyway... I didn't learn the second verse until I was an adult when I found an old Mother Goose book of stories in an antique store. As an English major I don't know how I missed this one. Life is full of surprises.

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I really, really hope you mean self-deprecating!! :jump:

I'm glad I can make you laugh

Even though you thought it a gaff

It could have been worse

But I'm trying not to curse

So I'll just keep pulling words out of my aff.

Does anyone gnow how to use the darn spell checker?

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Here is one I still remember from childhood ...

but I see now it was prophetic about the TWI structure that we trusted in

perhaps the sitting is SIT ...

the chair is what we were told TWI was ... Gawd's true ministry

As I was sitting in my chair

I knew the bottom wasn't there

Nor legs nor back

But I just sat

Ignoring little things like that

Did we really believe the snow on the gas pumps ... or did we willingly live in Wonderland?

See .. everything I really needed to know I learned in childhood ... :biglaugh: (I think that is Erma's book)

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When you see a MOG with an eye so dewy

But at night he slams Drambuie

Perhaps you should run like hell

For one day you'll know quite well

That all his words are a bunch of hoo-ey.

The Cornfield preacher went to New Breman

While all the townsfolk they were a-screamin'

"He's no holy man of Gawd!

In fact he's really a sod!

At night, of orgies he's a-dreamin'"

Edited by doojable
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As I was passing through Ohio,

I met a man with one glass eye-o

He asked me if still had fear

"Why come! Sign this green card... Here!"

"Now let me show you what's in my silo."

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I once knew dis guy named Craig,

his forehead stuck out like an egg.

He hit on my gal,

she said; "Take a hike pal,

you ain't worthy to even touch my leg"!

He told her he felt like a clown,

She said "Oh really, I made you feel down?

If it's with sex you are smitten,

what happened to It's Written?

You' better put some ice on it you big jerk cause this booty no way you are gettin"!

I like the "long, incongruous fifth line that doesn't fit" concept. Too funny!

Jeast,

On the spell checker: Highlight the word in question with a "left click drag". Then, right click the blue highlighted word, and voila! Spelling options miraculously appear. I just accidently discovered that about a week ago. :doh:

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A tip of the hat to Linda Z

Not sure if I’m a him or a she?

Just so you’ll know

When I have to go

I usually stand up when I pee.

I know that is not always a guarantee.

Jonny Lingo, thanks for the spell checker tip.

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I get off work around midnight from the foundry don’t ya see.

Doin my time tryin to make a dime to feed my family

Well it’s been 30 years of toil sweat and tears so forgive me if I seem a bit inspired

After Friday I’m doin it my way cause this old boy will officially be retired.

Sittin on the front porch swing the wife and me drinkin a glass of sweet tea.

Did not quite have the bounce I wanted but it still feels good.

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There once was a man named jeast

Who didn't reside in the East

His job he is quittin'

On the porch he'll be sittin'

Now that his labors have ceased.

Congrats on your retirement, jeast!! I"m sooooooooo jealous. And sorry about my confusion re: your gender.

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Come one, come all, gather 'round

Hear the apologists make their sound,

"VP was a hero! VP was a saint!

VP saw snow where snow ain't!

Too bad VP is in the ground."

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