A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"
A construction worker asked his buddy, "Do you know where I can find a pair of dikes?" His friend replied, "Sure! Just go downtown to Main and 5th Ave Friday night about midnight!"
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JeffSjo
Two peanuts walked into a rowdy bar, one was a salted.
Ham
Old Chionese proverb: Egg Foo yung left out overnight is egg foo old.
RumRunner
WAIT if you have kids around the below is rated M - OK go ahead and read The Brothel The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignifi
Shellon
HA!!!
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T-Bone
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Drummer of.
Drummer of who?
Keith Moon.
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RottieGrrrl
Hey as far as knock knock jokes go, these are well....not too horrible. :P
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Steveo
A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"
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Mark Clarke
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
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spectrum49
A construction worker asked his buddy, "Do you know where I can find a pair of dikes?" His friend replied, "Sure! Just go downtown to Main and 5th Ave Friday night about midnight!"
Nice One T-Bone! (Made it up, huh?)
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spectrum49
Two blondes across the river from each other: One yells out, "How do I get to the other side?" The other yells back, "But you ARE on the other side!"
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waysider
Here's a good knock-knock joke, you start it.
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RottieGrrrl
OKAY
KNOCK KNOCK
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Mark Clarke
I can't believe you fell for that!
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RottieGrrrl
Whadda afraid? huh huh huh?
KNOCK KNOCK:
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Caveman
So, this guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch."
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JeffSjo
Dear RottieGrrl and Sushi,
See you guys, it's even funnier sometimes if they have to think about it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PROCRASTINATORS UNITE....TOMORROW!
I just saw this on for the first time on a t-shirt.
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Caveman
False intelligence is no match for genuine stupidity
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JeffSjo
I resemble that remark!?
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JeffSjo
Just for Steveo.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK IF YOUR FAMILY TREE LOOKS LIKE A STRAIT LINE.
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George Aar
A man gets a call from his doctor.
Says the voice on the phone, "Gee, I've got some bad news for you
AND some even worse news."
"Oh no." Replies the man. "Well, give me the bad news first and we'll work our way up to the worse news."
The doctor then tells him "You've got a terrible a-symptomatic fatal illness, and you've only got 24 hours to live."
"Oh my GAWD!" The man moans. "What could possibly be worse than THAT!"
The doctor replies:
"Uh, I meant to call you yesterday..."
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Mark Clarke
The doctor says, "I'm afraid your disease is incurable. I give you about ten."
The guy says, "Ten? Ten what? Ten years? Ten months? Ten days?"
The doctor replies, "...nine...eight...seven..."
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RottieGrrrl
Okay I'll finish my own knock knock jokes....
APPROPRIATE FOR ALL AGES:
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in here?
SOME PARENTAL EXPLANATION SUGGESTED:
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Thisle.
Thisle who?
Thisle have to hold you until dinner's ready.
JOKE MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY A PARENT:
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Madam!
Madam who?
Madam foot is caught in the door!
UNDER 17 NOT PERMITTED TO HEAR:
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
(Gladiator)
don't hit me for the last one please.
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Mark Clarke
CLEAN VERSION OF ROTTIE'S LAST ONE:
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Gladiator.
Gladiator who?
The dragon who devoured the princess was Gladiator!
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RottieGrrrl
OH I LIKE THAT!!! :) And I think you saved me from getting kloncked on the head from someone too!
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JeffSjo
OH, AND WHO DO YOU THINK MIGHT DO THAT YOUNG LADY? :D
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Sushi
Would that be GEORGE Strait?
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Shellon
LMAO!!!!!!!!!
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