My childhood/Present in the Way

[Lofty]

It all started before I was born in August of 1984, I was never given the opportunity of “free will” which we were all taught throughout the years. Everything was decided for me. I grew up in Montana with my mom, dad, and sister. We were told we were living the “more abundant life.” I never new any better but looking back on it now, we lived in a trailer, that wasn’t paid for and never had enough water. That alone to me now doesn’t spell “abundance.” That’s not the half of it. Numerous leadership swept through the area including the Kraso@@kis, Po$$ocks, and the Lad##g’s, these I can remember. I was told of many others before them but failed to remember them. I had close relationships with all three families. I dated their daughters and their boys were some of my best friends at the time.

I started middle school not knowing what to do with my life. Trying to find friends. I had had numerous friends among the fellow “believers” that came and went. But never really had a base of real quality friends. One of the Lad##g boys took me under his wing and taught me how to dress, what music to listen to and even how to “disrespect my father.” He didn’t really teach my how to disrespect my dad but my father said on many occasions that I wasn’t the same kid since J-m. I was more prone to speak against what my dad had to say. I just followed what I saw. This is what I was taught to do.

I took the Foundational class @ 12, and so on through the Advanced class in 2000. I feel like I never really paid attention to these classes. I always had some kind of distraction. These distractions were mainly women/girls either in the classes or “secular” girls at school. I guess this could be counted as a good thing considering all that has happened. The 2000 Advanced class as some of you may know was the last Craig class. I personally thought it was weird that I was “learning” from this dude who was kicked out of the ministry that I was raised in. Despite this, I got to shake is hand, hug his now ex-wife, and hug the new President of which I new nothing about. Little did I know that I would become more involved later in my life.

Through high school I went though the motions. I went to fellowship and sang songs, led fellowship a couple of times, and even taught I think once or twice. My involvement was lackadaisical if that. I felt like I had to go. If I missed fellowship for some reason it was made into a big deal and I always felt like I was better off when I didn’t go. I always felt like I was getting away with something awesome. I was always good at telling people what they wanted to hear just to get them to shut up really.

I graduated high school not knowing what I wanted to do next. I wanted to go to college but had no “open doors.” My parents were fed up with their jobs and decided to move to HQ in New Knoxville Ohio. My parents waited till about a month before we left to even tell me, in fear that I would not join them. I was not in a good position with my girlfriend at the time and I knew it was time for a change so I decided that I would join them on their trek across the country.

My mother was hired into housekeeping, which I can now say was complete hell for her. She was absolutely miserable all two years of it. She then worked in another department for two years and was more happy but never really healed the scars from her previous department. My father was hired into the Transportation dept. and enjoyed it through and through. I was hired into the Bookstore dept. and was mostly happy. I got to inspect every book, bible page by page for defects and was told that I was doing “Gods work.” Even then I didn’t really believe it. I had to constantly make jokes to keep my self sane. I got in trouble plenty of times but apparently it was all worth it. I got to basically live on my own and do as I pleased. I had a sweet roommate in Founders Hall of which I still enjoy talking to when I see him. T-bone has always and will always be a bit of a character. I was no longer a “dependant” of my parents and I had a new girlfriend. She was a senior at the New Knoxville High school at the time. Before she graduated she was applying to different colleges and of course didn’t want to at the time but settled with Bowling Green State University (BGSU).

While still working at HQ I broke down one night and cried telling my girlfriend that I didn’t have the opportunities that she had as far as college. For one because I had been out of school a year and two I felt like I was trapped working at The Way for the rest of my life. I even remember when I first got there my section coordinator saying, “I think we have a lifer here (insert name here_______________)” pertaining to my life working for the Way. When looking up the word “lifer” in the dictionary one can see it states “somebody sentenced to life imprisonment.” Not something I was ready to deal with. So I got accepted to BGSU and off I went after only working for the Way for only one year. I felt as though I had gotten away with something amazing.

At BGSU I studied Mechanical Design and occasionally went to fellowship. Became great friends with T!m M@rtind#le, Jer&m!ah J@x, Mich@el Phil!ip$, J!m L%ngley, and many others. These are people who I still consider to be my closest friends. I pretty much completely stopped going to fellowship my senior year, mostly because I was fed up with the leaders BS. I didn’t agree with anything they had to say and I was fed up. That and I was to busy doing other much more interesting things. At least to me they were.

I finished classes this last semester and have been to one STS since. I felt completely weird just being there. Everyone was so happy to see me and so interested in how I was doing. I severely question their sincerity. Most people seemed so fake. I am happy for the things that I have learned from the Way, but am glad that most of it went through one ear and out the other. This makes it easier for me to sort through the BS. I love God and his true genuine hearted people. But the fact is that a lot of the so-called “leaders” are the worst ones. That sucks to say but it is true.

My family moved away from HQ a year ago this Aug. It was quite possibly the best thing that ever happened to us. I am now the closest that I have ever been to my mother and father since childhood.

Thanks for reading.

[cheranne]

I can't even begin to imagine being in that position...hope you are doing well and are enjoying free will.

thanks for sharing.

[JeffSjo]

Dear Lofty,

I'm so very glad to hear that you can gain some ground with your family again.

[nick]

thanks for posting your tale.

its alot like mine, save spending time after HS in residence.

it sure feels nice to talk to mom without "biblical reproff" being a sentence away, dosent it?

this site is great, its just so easy to talk about time in twi without having to explain what it is first.