(As told by VPW himself though paraphrased on account of I'm gettin' old and don't remember it perzactly.)
In the early days of "the ministry", they had various paraphernalia they took to every meetin'.
You know, salt for last nights coffee grounds, lipstick stained styro cups, etc.
Included in that assortment were a couple of "ohfeeshal" collection plates just like the real churches used.
But alas, one night someone let the adversary trick them into forgetting the box the plates were in.
Uncle Harry, being the shrewd biniss mogol that he was, burst into action and dashed into the hallway where he discovered a floral "BOW-kay".
Quickly(so as not to dampen the hilarious giving state of the attendees, which would have devilishly deprived them of Gawd's mighty blessings) he dumped the contents and passed around that thar corny-copia, much to the pleasure of those who selflessly awaited the dutiful process of counting the take thanking God for the abundance poured forth.
And thus, the horn-o-plenteous became the Ohfeeshal vessel with which to gather the lovely offerings.
Mine went home with the ex, along with all the other twi-related odds and ends. I've actually seen it at his place when I've had to stop by for some kid related exchange or other. What a STUPID thing to use to collect an offering, lol.
"Now the little end represents what you put in and the big end represents God's blessings over your life. You get as you give."
It didn't ring true at the time and even less so now. God blesses us regardless.
Anyway I have a tiny one, no longer than about 6", had it for years and longer than knowing of TWI, no idea where I got it but I keep it as an ornament with a small selection of very pretty shells in and around it.
My full size model is in a cupboard on the other side of the world. Hey, Twinky might like to play in it. He's a funny cat, loves to hide in things.
Lost one after a move, so I improvised with a rather large wicker fish...
My favourite four year old, Mikey B. loved to pass around the fish, which was taller than he was. After the ABS was collected, Mikey would pray for chocolate milk...
"Jonah" the fish had a short but happy life in that twig.
In a few months, word had reached the limb coordinators, and the Jonah ABS fish was relegated to work as a clothes hamper...
Mikey B continued to pray for chocolate milk and was not without some success...
I remember every time I was relocated on the 'field', searching the thrifts stores for that elusive "horn of plenty". I guess it would have been easier if I'd taken it with me each time but I bought into the "traveling light" thing.
Oh well! What did you do with your horn of plenty?
Throwing away things you need only to buy them again? Once again, WHAT were we thinking!!!! Ugh...
Mine? Funny, I'm not sure. Probably in a box somewhere as I now "travel heavy." Yep, I actually KEEP the things I need. Although, in fairness, TWI did give me the idea of giving things to people who needed them more than me. Why couldn't they have just stopped there? Oh well, ....
Recommended Posts
Ham
I remember one we used for a bird nest for some canaries..
Link to comment
Share on other sites
JustSayNO
I burned it on Uncle Harry Day.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
what color was that couch ?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
The story Of the horn of plenty
(As told by VPW himself though paraphrased on account of I'm gettin' old and don't remember it perzactly.)
In the early days of "the ministry", they had various paraphernalia they took to every meetin'.
You know, salt for last nights coffee grounds, lipstick stained styro cups, etc.
Included in that assortment were a couple of "ohfeeshal" collection plates just like the real churches used.
But alas, one night someone let the adversary trick them into forgetting the box the plates were in.
Uncle Harry, being the shrewd biniss mogol that he was, burst into action and dashed into the hallway where he discovered a floral "BOW-kay".
Quickly(so as not to dampen the hilarious giving state of the attendees, which would have devilishly deprived them of Gawd's mighty blessings) he dumped the contents and passed around that thar corny-copia, much to the pleasure of those who selflessly awaited the dutiful process of counting the take thanking God for the abundance poured forth.
And thus, the horn-o-plenteous became the Ohfeeshal vessel with which to gather the lovely offerings.
Edited by waysiderLink to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
i'm touched horny plenty with those fellas
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ductape
I asked my BC to put it where the sun don't shine and offered to help place it there for him....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
dmiller
Which end first??? :blink:
:blink:
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jim
Thanks for the wine spew.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TheHighWay
Mine went home with the ex, along with all the other twi-related odds and ends. I've actually seen it at his place when I've had to stop by for some kid related exchange or other. What a STUPID thing to use to collect an offering, lol.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
Still have it. My grandsons love playing with it.
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nick
I'll admit to pretending it was an elf hat once or twice myself
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cake
I wonder just how many of these ended up in Madonna videos as wardrobe accoutrements?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
Only after spray painted gold, and the appropriate sparkles added.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Twinky
Still get the shivers when I see those things.
It didn't ring true at the time and even less so now. God blesses us regardless.
Anyway I have a tiny one, no longer than about 6", had it for years and longer than knowing of TWI, no idea where I got it but I keep it as an ornament with a small selection of very pretty shells in and around it.
My full size model is in a cupboard on the other side of the world. Hey, Twinky might like to play in it. He's a funny cat, loves to hide in things.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
egilkent
Lost one after a move, so I improvised with a rather large wicker fish...
My favourite four year old, Mikey B. loved to pass around the fish, which was taller than he was. After the ABS was collected, Mikey would pray for chocolate milk...
"Jonah" the fish had a short but happy life in that twig.
In a few months, word had reached the limb coordinators, and the Jonah ABS fish was relegated to work as a clothes hamper...
Mikey B continued to pray for chocolate milk and was not without some success...
My demise followed shortly thereafter...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
love you jim !!!!!!!
--
my turn for a big spew !!!!!!!!!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Twinky
A "fisher of men," perhaps (LOL).
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChasUFarley
Maybe Matilda can confirm this, but I thought many were used in SNL skits?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
JustThinking
Throwing away things you need only to buy them again? Once again, WHAT were we thinking!!!! Ugh...
Mine? Funny, I'm not sure. Probably in a box somewhere as I now "travel heavy."
Yep, I actually KEEP the things I need. Although, in fairness, TWI did give me the idea of giving things to people who needed them more than me. Why couldn't they have just stopped there? Oh well, ....
JT
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.