on Taboo and Shadow...

[sirguessalot]

apologies for somewhat of a long rant....

some things seem worth stretching out a bit

and i tried to break it into pieces

...

this started as a reply to rascal's thread on Wiewilles *research*

but quickly outgrew a reasonable length

feel free to respond, or just read, reflect, or whatever

...

so often, it seems...perhaps even naturally

we are told

and somehow conclude

that "seeking the light" is somehow some "the ultimate way" to truth, goodness, beauty, etc...

but

it also seems

that a big part of the message of those who have gone before us

such as Jesus

and others

is NOT to seek light

or NOT to seek a light that is somehow elsewhere and seperate and outside of our selves

but rather

an overlooked part of the message is to BE light our self

which requires, of course, that we first try to find a Way to Witness our selves AS beings light

(and not merely poetically, or merely figuratively...but literally seen, felt and otherwise known)

as if light has no need to simply seek more light

but rather...how light is uniquely qualified at fearlessly leaping face-first like a fool into DARKNESS

...an unthinkable act of madness to our conventional terrorized minds

...

an old notion that points to this

is how "the shadow is golden"

..meaning: when and where we find our personal border with the unknown...

...THAT is where our greatest lessons in life will be found

and the only way we will ever be free is to be as light..and simply enter the darkness

and THAT is our highest priority, especially as it pertains to "loving our neighbor"

and otherwise lessening our negative impact in the world in general

if we say there are no shadows inside us

we are simply always wrong

as there is no end to the depth of any one of us

and therefore no end to the possible texture and interplay of light and darkness

...the not-as-yet-enlightened regions

we are not to merely "box with shadows"

but rather notice them...touch them...enter them ...and with hope...heal them

as if we become more and more whole...as we add to ourselves

that which is already in our self

often simply by noticing them

like how...in the blink of an eye...the mindset of Christ returns to us

as lightning flashes

and thunder roars

the simplest shift and flicker of our attention can make a profound difference

...one that ripples and reverberates outward from within ...detangling and untangling our messiness

...

"leaning into the pain" is another similar phrase

where the texture and detail of our suffering (not pleasure, or bliss..and stuff we want or like)

is the path to becoming free

and the way to find authentic change and transformation

we cant go around

we can only go through

and to ignore our suffering or shadow

is the fast track to causing more suffering and darkness in the world

there is no such thing as a private hell

for all suffering radiates

...

VPW said that he somehow solved "The mystery" of Christ

when it seems more likely that Mystery IS the nature of the mind of Christ

how the capacity to accept our radical degree of ignorance

and our radical depth of choicelessness

and how very little freedom we have ever had in this world

is the beginning of real freedom, real choice and real knowledge

our own vast field of ignorance is often our most important teacher and guide...simply for being THE MOST

our most important foil...and we are to "invite the demons to tea-time" if we ever want real lasting peace

such Mystery (the so-called "whore") is the playground of children of God

as much as a newborn's earliest discoveries will happen in the geography and terrain of their own mother's body

Mystery is a universal factor that we are to stop resisting

the unknown is going to teach us more than the known

and failure is going to teach us more than success

and a position of surrendering to such a space of grace

is going to get us farther than a position of control

we all ultimately return there anyway

might as well practice now

research your limitations

research your ends

we never chose that which we dont know

we never chose that which terrorizes us the most

...

which

is pretty much the exact opposite of what we are typically taught in modern mainstream religion

and even the more cultish twists on the mainstream (such as twi)

as well as business, medicine, politics, and other fields

so it seems no wonder why the message from the holy freaks to the mainstream is "repent!"

as if to say/shout/warn/beg "stop what you are doing, and turn completely around and go the other direction"

stop trying to fix and save the world

when your very own colorful insides are invisible to your very own self

...

as all this pertains to VPW's kind of approach to research

and whatever similar habits we have

it seems that the books and doctrines and philosophies we ignore, reject, avoid

may tell us more about our spiritual approach and condition than that which we seek

the ones we react to with anger and fear and prejudice

are perhaps the ones that will teach us the most in the end

for example...such as the way VP went on a crusade to india to convert the heathen

without ever really being interested in grasping the wide variety of depth and span in indian thought and practice

it seems he never did learn much about silence or stillness...or any of the "noble truths" of Buddha

instead...almost always finding ways for us to fill the space with activity, noise, distractions and other busy-ness

he would done well to break bread with a vedantist, or advaitist

and actually compare recipes by practicing...as in tasting, touching, handling

it may have helped keep him from being so driven by his impulses

and so concerned with his needs and wants

i doubt he ever read deeply into any of the philosophies and religions he claimed to trump

before running off to fix and heal (and judge and condemn) them

a huge part of his whole spiritual claim involved basically scrubbing away 2000 years of global spiritual discovery and inquiry

as well as most all previous spiritual thought prior to that

i doubt he knew how soaking wet with inter-cultural influence every world scripture is

and how that is a GOOD thing...not some sign of impurity or unholiness

not that we have to somehow research every book ever written to be good or wise

but at least get a genuine idea before going on a white-horsed salvation mission

and yes...sometimes it may take many years of looking into such things

before being able to wrap our cognitive arms around them

or perhaps even before finding someone who actually represents some sense of historic version of a tradition

and this is perhaps more and more true as history unfolds and while burying all old things in some pop-version

simply adds more and more pages to what has been known and said about this that and the other

layers and layers of truths and meanings hiding in the shadows of our own taboos

perhaps this is why the real saints

were real patient

Edited May 10, 2008 by sirguessalot

[Bramble]

So much of religion seems to be about do-do-do, change-change-change-grow-grow-grow rush-rush-rush. It is a never ending work, and it can eat up a persons whole life, as in TWI.

I do understand that there are needed changes and needed helps...but in all the business and striving, where is rest and peace?

Day to day life, chores, meals, the job... if those are imbued with sacredness, then preparing a meal and eating with your family is a time of healing and repair, working on the yard or house is seen more as bringing strength or beauty than necessary or keeping up with the Joneses.

Contemplating in the darkness doesn't appear to be a worthy activity, perhaps a waste of time, because there is nothing physical to show for it.

And others want your time...you could be on the run constantly, as some are, doing this that and every other activity...

[sirguessalot]

yeah

if sitting silently is somehow proof of nothing happening

the mind has certainly been tricked by the surface of the body

takes lifetimes for all our gazillions of things in motion to come to rest

if they ever do

but hours and days and weeks and months and years to explore the territory

which can be terrifying to our hyper worldviews

or useless...threatening...weak...foolish...boring...etc

9 days, for example

is one very famous prescription/recipe

doing nothing but sitting

fasting, sleeping, dreaming, waking

nothing but breaths and pulses

practicing mere feeling compassion

singing prayers and hymns at times

takes practice

"doing" the impossible

"doing" the opposite

balancing being

we will face a gazillion temptations to come down from the pinnacle of this kind of temple

and the longer we sit...the more likely it is that we will face our demons

and eventually our ultimate demons...trying to make us flinch

as well as meet our angels/angles...then our over-arching angle

once the choirs of voices are out of the way

coming back down to earth ...to the mainstream

is going to be yet another journey

much like being newborn..having already come so far

and then having been so radically uncovered

hearts and minds and bodies cracked wide open

returning to the sleeping world

as the saints seem to say in their writings...

once we taste such serenity

we cant forget

we will never be the same

as we have been changed

we witnessed something unforgettable

and the view lingers very well

having left a thumb print in clay

sustains us

reminds us of future rest

as we garden

as we celebrate

as we fix our machines

one good taste

is a whole lot

not hard to tell

who has touched

and who has not

sometimes we forget for generations

until something horrible happens

hopefully we are paying attention

and remember well

Edited May 11, 2008 by sirguessalot

[T-Bone]

Great posts Sirguessalot & Bramble!

And I really enjoyed your [Sir Todd] post # 15 on the Wierwille's *research* thread.

So much of religion seems to be about do-do-do, change-change-change-grow-grow-grow rush-rush-rush. It is a never ending work, and it can eat up a persons whole life, as in TWI.

I do understand that there are needed changes and needed helps...but in all the business and striving, where is rest and peace?

Day to day life, chores, meals, the job... if those are imbued with sacredness, then preparing a meal and eating with your family is a time of healing and repair, working on the yard or house is seen more as bringing strength or beauty than necessary or keeping up with the Joneses.

Contemplating in the darkness doesn't appear to be a worthy activity, perhaps a waste of time, because there is nothing physical to show for it.

And others want your time...you could be on the run constantly, as some are, doing this that and every other activity...

Concerning my belief system: As I rack up the years and mental miles of distance between TWI and myself, I still come across ghosts in the machinery. One of them is that feeling of being driven to change that crops up sometimes…thinking I have to be perpetually busy – and yet wondering where is the rest and peace…Bramble's post resonated with me.

...once we taste such serenity

we cant forget

we will never be the same

as we have been changed

we witnessed something unforgettable

and the view lingers very well

having left a thumb print in clay

sustains us

reminds us of future rest

as we garden

as we celebrate

as we fix our machines...

Karen Armstrong made some interesting comments while talking about Buddha in A History of God: religion starts with the perception that something is wrong & effectiveness is the hallmark of a successful religion [page 32, 33]…As time goes on, I find some aspects of Eastern religions fascinating – the respect for the sacredness of everything, the concern over the consequences of my actions, the art of reflection & the inward journey.

Bringing this around to my two cents for this thread...How to fix my machine? I dunno…but I've got a hunch I'm on to something – it seems some satisfaction comes when I make the effort to slow down…smell the roses…take stock of my priorities and how I interact with others…be more forgiving during self-examination sessions…Yes, I think that last item would really boost my love-thy-neighbor-capacity…cuz Jesus said love thy neighbor as thyself.

Edited May 11, 2008 by T-Bone

[socks]

Nice. Somewhat akin - It reminds me kind of the old joke about the guy in a flood, stranded on his rooftop, praying and waiting for God to rescue him as he refuses first a guy in a boat, then a helicopter ride because as he tells them "God's going to save me from the flood!" - and finally drowns. At the "Pearly Gates" he asks "why didn't God answer my prayers!!!" and he's told "Well, He sent you a boat and a helicopter!! Whaddya want?"

I do tend to miss what's right in front of me when I'm looking for something else. It's good to retune, attenuate, take a pause for the cause, balance out a little bit. I have a lot of activity in my life, but frequent opportunity to catch my mental breath. It's just a matter of doing it although that can be a challenge.

I like the idea that the ordinary things we do can be filled with faith and love. The ordinary made wonderful, like those small acts of kindness that are remembered because they meant so much.

[sirguessalot]

...

i find that the "higher" (deeper?) we "climb"

whether by meditation, aging, fasting, illness, coma, dying, sleeping, etc...

the more vibrant and real our dreams become to us, in general

overall, we can expect to experience a significant change in our dreamlife and sleeplife

scripture also seems to indicate this

...Peter on Pentecost, for example

...or how so many of the prophets experienced their most profound visions while being lost in the desert, or while in slavery or prison, reduced to almost nothing

visions and dreams become

more disturbing, more troubling, more rattling

as well as more wonderful, more telling, more informative

...to the depth and degree of worth being called awesome and extraordinary

the archetypes exaggerate even more

the associations and lessons we glean from them

present stronger riddles

that simply make more sense

becoming more useful

dreams last longer

our recall is fresher

not because they were ever less real

but because we are simply closer to them

more in touch with that finer older sense of self

ringing in background of our waking life

a jewel just under the thinnest layer of dust

becomes a flowering soul

from the simple light of attention

...

and while i could not write to say that one must somehow be a profound dreamer to be beautiful, good or true

i can say that the bulk of ancient wisdom we revere seems to come from these very same kinds of ways

from some who entered eyes wide open

and from others who were simply snatched and plunged

and from others who got lucky while trying to do something else entirely

Edited May 12, 2008 by sirguessalot

[cman]

It seems many run from themselves

constructing various amusements outside of the inner most thoughts

Or perhaps just not aware of what great treasures are in us

looking into the surface is of course a good start

but only a start

while some stop there

Once finding that which we didn't know existed

you have to realize that it is not our doing

only discovering

it's already been done and remains with us

surrounding us

the same old techniques that behold the outside of the cup

yet within is unlimited and underestimated

something that seems foreign may look undesirable

digging a bit deeper, getting past the fear

past what looks like the devil to discover god

[sirguessalot]

if there is any such eye of God...or eye on the "mind of Christ" within

and it "overcomes darkness by shedding light on truth" and such

we each have a personal mountain of shadow to move

one that can only be moved by climbing it

one that can only be climbed by noticing it

and as we ascend to the peaks

our hell simply gets ever lower and deeper

and as we descend into the valleys

our heaven gets ever deeper and higher

some part of our journey goes from being a pot of clay

to being in the potter's seat

actually touching and tasting and handling the substance of our faith

always alone...and sometimes together

and whether within or without

a temple is merely a decorative frame for Spirit

like how we decorate a window to hold a space

or decorate a pot to hold water

the substance is always already here

in that original dust

castle after castle

faith reshaping

geographically

darkness is where mountains of truth hides

waiting for the lamp of our attention

to start sketching the lines

Edited May 15, 2008 by sirguessalot

[sirguessalot]

this voice...just flowing today...

stillness and silence are universally recognizable to all languages...all times

and it is only by sitting still within that the mountain of noise and motion is climbed

every voice within must have its say and then rest

and there are thousands of voices with something to say

its gonna take "9 days" he said

before Spirit 'comes'

if there is a voice that is not allowed to be heard

it will carry on anyway

and manifest however it can

but to sit with each of them...to touch them ...and to say hello...and to say goodbye

is pure love

every hope

every grief

every rage

every joy

every longing

every want

every desire

every hurt

every memory

is simply arising in the space we find

...a space which may truly be called Spirit of grace

when we find that we are this very space

that all voices and feelings and thoughts arise in

..we are free indeed

and there is no need to keep looking elsewhere for rest

both God and Christ are within

and we are One...literally

this is the form of doctrine and theology that is shared by all scriptures

this is the root and ground of actual spiritual practice

this is how the mind of Christ is found and recognized

...that name beyond names

"shhh" ...its a great mystery

Edited May 15, 2008 by sirguessalot

[cman]

hmmm......

quiet and dark....

the words of the wise, and their dark sayings

have to walk into a dark saying, to light it

not blindly cause looking is seeing

to get into light there must be darkness

does the sun rise or the earth turn?

or both.....

[sirguessalot]

Lu 11:34 The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.

in other words...

if my eye (of contemplation...not "eyeball") is able to see the whole, together, sound, being grounded and settled

then the interior of my whole body can be revealed to me

our entire body is also our mind

...we think with our heart

...we remember with our hands

...we feel with our memory

...we dream throughout our entire body

i can be insightful as to my own nature

as well insightful as to human nature

but if my eye (of contemplation) is distracted, deluded, picky, choosy, and otherwise "monkey-minded"

then my whole body (and all that is inside of it and me) ...while good, true and beautiful...is hidden in darkness

or otherwise unknown to me

i am unaware of how much of my own interior i am unaware of

but am quite driven by my interior anyway

...which is not very good for my neighbors

1Jo 1:6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

also reminds me of this quote...

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is

embodied in the individual’s conscious life,

the blacker and denser it is.

At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag,

thwarting our most well-meant intentions.

— Dr. Carl G. Jung

which reminds me of this...

Mt 8:12 But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

the "kingdom" is not a mythical, faraway or future place

but the oceanic realm we touch via the pupil of the eye at the center of our very own body and soul

to be cast into outer darkness

is to be cut-off from one's own interior contours

when we are so trapped outside of our own depths

we have no choice but to be terrorized

so often we try to rid the darkness from the world

by looking for it in other people instead, other religions, and generally places outside of our selves

we dont even know what makes us tick

or why we do all the crazy things we do

we are yet asleep to who we our selves are

while trying to wake others up

...fixers run amok

...prematurely prying open cacoons

Edited May 16, 2008 by sirguessalot