Don't Go Shopping at K-Mart

[krys]

BANNED FROM K- MART...........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their

will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her

husband accompany her on her trips to K -Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping

boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she

loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from

her local K -Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a

commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be

forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.

Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance

cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in

people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at

5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to

the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official

voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of

M&M's on lay -b y.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a

carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and

told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and

blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he

began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it

as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,

he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while

loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his

'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed

through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud

speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE

VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least ..

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited

awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,

K -Mart..

[RottieGrrrl]

Funny! I saw on TV where some guy advised people to do #1 when there is a big shopping cart blocking the aisle. He said he did it all the time. :)