I've been blessed

[jeast]

I am the youngest of 11 kids, Mom died when I was two so those of you who remember what your Mothers voice sounds like your one up on me. Most all of the brothers and sisters were gone by the time I got my eyes open so I barely knew anything about them. All that was left at home was myself and two of my sisters. Enter the 1st step mom, she has 5 kids of her own. Most of that time is blur except I remember she had a very unique way of punishing me for crying, very humiliating, use your imagination from there. I began falling down when I tried to walk and the step mom said I was trying to get attention. One of my older sisters (Virginia Mae, my guardian angel) took me for x-rays and found I had leg perthes. My hip was like a honeycomb and if she had not stepped in I would not be walking today. Enter 2nd step mother, Very big woman, had a bigger chip on her shoulder. By now it is just one sister and me at home. For some reason which I have never understood she did every conceivable thing to my sister, including kicking her around, pulling curlers out of her hair, taking her to the doctor for periodic check-up to be sure she had not had sex. This was my first example of the love of God that I can remember because even though she was the one getting most of the crap she was praying for me. It worked. My sister finally left and then one of my other sisters (Virginia Mae) came and took me home with her. I lived with her for the next 6 years but wouldn't you know it, her husband had some serious anger issues. During one of my prolonged capital punishment encounters with my guardian brother-in-law my sister asked him to quit, he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head down onto the bed and slapped the crap out of her. There is more but I have only told this much (until now I have never told this to anyone except my wife and kids) to make my point.

I married my high school sweetheart, we started going together as freshman in high school and we were married two weeks before we graduated from high school. It has been 37 years. This is when I began to learn about unconditonal love.

You can imagine the baggage that I was carrying around, I was mad at the world and did not know why. She was raised Pentecostal, so you can imagine how this went over, her getting pregnant and all. Young, dumb, without a clue, that was me.

When our daughter was born it rocked my world. All of a sudden is wasn't about me and what I wanted any more. We have had 3 others since. Twin sons and another daughter. I thought I was tough, you know school of hard knocks etc. But my wife has by her example showed me what real strength is. She endured child birth when she was just a kid herself, she took to motherhood as natural as could possibly be. All this time she never took her frustration out on me and believe me I deserved it.

I now know without a doubt what it is like to be loved.

PFAL is about to enter the picture. gotta go.

[coolchef]

thanks for shareing

how are your wife and kids doing

[jeast]

thanks for shareing

how are your wife and kids doing

Thanks for asking coolchef,

They are all doing very well. I am very proud of them all and they appear to be fairly rooted and grounded. We also have 11 grandchildren. I am the richest man on earth.

[jeast]

As I look back I believe that there was a still small voice ever present waiting for me to open my heart and allow Him to help me.

Shortly after our first child was born chose to believe. My wife and I began attending the church that she grew up in. Fire and brimestone Pentecostal. Her Dad was and elder at the time and I learned to love and respect him although as it came to be our understanding of the Word was miles apart. I was a zealous as they come, I truly wanted to know the truth so I studied and prayed like many of us have. As I listened to the teachings I was dumbfounded that they were reading the same scripture. My wife later shared with me that when she was a little girl she stayed awake all night after a particular sermon, so afraid that the world was coming to an end and she was going to hell. She sat through years of church just numb with guilt and condemnation. During this time I met Mike and Jane Moody, I worked with Mike at GE in Bloomington. We both liked music, and he was a very gentle guy, sort of a Jesus freak, I will be forever grateful for his friendship. He and Jane convinced me to take the PFAL class being ran on the IU campus. That was one of the defining moments in my life. Around this time Mike and Jane introduced me to Dave and Mary. Dave introduced me to New Grass and I have him to thank for my chronic carpal tunnel syndrome.

After PFAL, I attended twigs, went door to door and attended several functions of TWI. My wife totally fed up with any kind of church would not go with me. After a couple of years I felt compelled to drop out of TWI. At the time I did not know why, but I do now. I argued with God because after all I had learned why was I being told to leave. I had met and became friends with some of the most remarkable believers. I tried to attend several different churches only to be frustrated so I just shut down. But my family and I still lived according to what little word I knew. Love God with all your heart soul mind and strength, Saved by Grace through faith, None righteous no not one. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. It's Christ in you the hope of Glory. Perfect love casts out fear. Praying in the spirit. Fruit of the spirit, Justified freely. It is the gift of God.

I was always eager to get to talk to anyone concerning the Word. I have always welcomed the folks who did the door to door routine. (For some reason they never came back) I constantly listened, and observed and compared all the different beliefs and teachings of the people around me. I am more persuaded now than ever before about the power and magnificents of God's love. As feeble and inconsistent as I / we have lived those principles I cannot begin to express how incredibly blessed my family has been. Not that we are the Cleaver family by no means. We have had our share of catastrophies, heartaches and the like but we have always came away stronger and more confident in our God. This has very little to do with church, religion, PFAL, TWI, or even the East family. It has everthing to do with the Love, Mercy and Grace of God through Jesus Christ and whatever knowledge of His Word we can glean from the documents we have available. Walk, stumble, fall, cry, get up, rejoice, learn, love, live a life of peace until the return. One of the most inspirational songs that still makes my heart almost burst was by Brian Bliss. I heard him sing it at a concert in Indianapolis... We are sons of God with power raise your head up say it loud, the righteousness of God is ours, of our sonship we are proud.

My wife no longer lives her life in fear of going to hell but believes that God is able to deliver what He has promised.

My youngest sister whom took all the beatings, humiliation from both the stepmother and abusive husband has never let go of her faith. She now is helping to mangage a shelter for abused women. I would say she is qualified. My kids have a solid foundation but they are also finding their way through the religious maze. I trust that as long as they hunger and seek after righteousness they will be filled. Without a doubt they know that they are loved. Not that it can't be found somewhere else but in my case the Word and the principles that I learned in PFAL and the people I had met have profoundly changed my life. I continue to speak in tongues (pray in the spirit) when I am by myself. I have looked back countless times when something special (the best I can come up with) has happened to me and it is becoming more obvious that it is the result of God answering my prayer. One of them being GSC. I have truly been blessed!

[bowtwi]

Welcome to GSC, Jeast! I'm glad you're here. I'm also glad you're posting your story - God bless you and your family!

[jeast]

Heart felt thanks bowtwi,

Just a little qualifier,

My story is not to be a story of pity,

It is about healing, A lot of the first 15 or so years of my life are somewhat of a blur. Some of it I don't even want to acknowledge. But this is not all for my sake, but for me and my family and any one else who has endured injustices.

I never could bring myself to hate, but I could not understand how I could love those who have hurt me and those I hold dear. But just like I had learned so many times before yet sometimes still ignore, that still small voice...You don't have to respect those who have hurt you but for Christ's sake and your sake you must love them. This in part has allowed me to look ahead and I am continuing to grow in the love of God.

By the way are there any deserts on the menu?

[waysider]

.

By the way are there any deserts on the menu?

Welllll----- There is a Heritage Loaf baking "in the kitchen".

[bowtwi]

Where are my manners? Of course, there's plenty of dessert here - just name your favorite!

The first one's on the house - how's this look?

[jeast]

Now that's what I'm talking about! Can you hear me grinning?

Oh yes, I will need big spoon and a napkin please cause this is gonna get ugly.

[JeffSjo]

Thank you for sharing Jeast!!!!!

It does my heart good to hear of the blessings that you're thankful for.

GOD is good.

Your sharing seems like a full meal.

Desert is a good call.

[jeast]

Fame and Fortune

When I was a young man I used to dream a young man's dream

My heroes were movie stars and those on the all star team

But I married my high school sweetheart oh my what life will bring

I had traded my aspirations for a little gold wedding ring

As time went by and our family grew

My mind often wondered if my dreams were all through

But since then I've learned that even the greatest of man

Can't compare to the riches of Gods's master plan

Now I look at my family with a heart filled with thanks

I now have more riches than all the worlds banks

I could not be any richer and the real meaning of fame

Is having a family who's not afraid to call on Jesus's name

And now I stand before you with a heart that's overflowed

Fame and fortune have new meaning now that I've been showed

When looking for the treasures in life the best place to start

Is to listen to that still small voice when it calls upon your heart

[waysider]

That's cool stuff, jeast.

Is that something you wrote?

[jeast]

Yes it is.

I guess you can tell my family in really important to me.

They are my inspiration.

I also wrote a tribute to one of my sisters.

She's is the one who rescued me from a pretty bad situation.

Her husband was also physically and emotionally abusive.

She sacrificed a lot for me.

Thanks for letting me share this with you.

Virginia Mae

As I look back at my childhood

I've seen a lot of heartache and dismay

Just when I thought that all was lost

God sent me to Virginia Mae

She helped me through some troubled times

No words can ever say

How blessed I am to have someone

Who cares....like Virginia Mae

The ultimate love is to sacrifice

It's not an easy price to pay

But that's exactly what she's done for me

I thank God....for Virginia Mae

This is not a story of pity

I am proud of who I am today

There could be no better Sister or Mother

My guardian angel....Virginia Mae.

***Just a little side note to help us all learn or hopefully understand.

Many years later I asked her about the physical abuse that I personally witnessed.

And to my amazement she had some how blocked it out and did not remember.

Her husband is dead now but strangely enough he still controls her.

I want to help her but she is like the circus elephant that had been raised with it's leg tied to a log chain.

And now that the chain is gone she still can't realize she is free.

For those of you out there in a similar situation.. Break the Chain!

[waysider]

That's a mighty powerful analogy, jeast.

(The elephant and chain)

Virginia Mae sounds like someone we all would be honored to know.

Edited April 1, 2008 by waysider

[GeorgeStGeorge]

Jeast,

I'm glad you had the love of God and the love of family (some, anyway) to get you through. The Countess and I have only been married 10 years, but then we didn't get started as early as you! ;)

God bless you,

George

[jeast]

Thanks George,

We got started early for sure. I got very lucky and married an incredible person and our family is really tight.

We will have been married for 38 years this month. I'd say we have defied the odds.

Respectfully,

Joe