The 'vision' of the Black rain and blood may be a little intense( thats another whole subject I wont get into now...) but its not that far off base on what was happening under the wayworld veneer
Well, it wasn't Black rain......but it was pitch black when wierwille claimed that he saw his "vision" that God was there.
Here is an excerpt from Mrs. Wierwille's book...."Born Again to Serve."
After all this activity and reaching out to learn more, I must know to satisy my inner yearning. And so I stood in my newly rented office and prayed to the Father. "Father, teach me the Word, teach me the Word." He told me as plain as day that if I would study the Word, He would teach me the Word like He had not been able to teach it to anybody since the first century. And, of course, at that time I thought, "Now that's a dandy. Boy, if I learned this Word of God, everybody will listen to me. The whole church will be blessed; my denomination will grow by leaps and bounds because we'll have the Word of God." And I thought that was terrrific. But during the process of that revelation, I said, "Father, how will I know that this is You and that You'll really teach it to me? Because I had worked the Word in commentaries and the rest of it, and I couldn't understand it, couldn't get it to fit.
And the sun was shining brightly. It was in the fall of the year. Gorgeous. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. And just on the inside of me it seemed to say, "Well, just say to the Father, "Well, if it'll just snow right now, you'll just know that this is God talking to you.'" Cause you see. I'd never had much experience with God's talking to me. And this business of His saying to me, just as audibly as I am speaking to you, that He'd teach me the Word if I'd teach it, sort of shook me. I'd been expecting to hear from heaven for a long time, but I hadn't heard that way before. Oh, my ears were perhaps clogged up. Since that time I've heard a lot of things from Him.
And I said, "Lord, to know that this is true, I'd like to see it snow." And I opened my eyes, and it was pitch-black, almost pitch-black outside, and the snow was falling so thick. I have never seen it fall that thick since that day.
And I sat in that little office, and I cried like a baby. Because I guess it was about my time to cry because I'd grown up but I didn't know the Word. And from that day on since He promised He'd teach me the Word, I have tried with all my heart to learn this Word.
Note: I've been in dozens of heavy snowstorms, and even blizzards......yet, I'd describe them as WHITE-OUT conditions, not black.
Well, it wasn't Black rain......but it was pitch black when wierwille claimed that he saw his "vision" that God was there.
And I said, "Lord, to know that this is true, I'd like to see it snow." And I opened my eyes, and it was pitch-black, almost pitch-black outside, and the snow was falling so thick. I have never seen it fall that thick since that day.
Note: I've been in dozens of heavy snowstorms, and even blizzards......yet, I'd describe them as WHITE-OUT conditions, not black.
That is a very interesting observation skyrider ...
it could mean vp wasn't thinking clearly when he made the story up
it could mean his vision came from darkness instead of light
sounds more like a tell on his tendncy to dramatize/hyperbolize his stories, though that seems a rather obvious oversite.
If Gawd taught him like it hadn't been since the first century, then he taught it thru other men that vp then plagiarized.
Or maybe God would gladly teach any man like He hasn't been able to since the first century, but man is so incapable that no man ever is able to learn it. I'm sure God is willing to perfectly teach any of us, like any "perfect parent" would gladly teach their children. But kids are imperfect.
Maybe VP's desire to be "the special/chosen one" opened him up to those spirits of ego? His first thought was ...
Boy, if I learned this Word of God,
everybody will listen to me
.
But God just (allegedly) promised to teach him, not to have everyone listen to him. Each of those snowflakes was one of those angels of light ... legions of them out of the darkness. ...
The Way did have no mass suicides, but there have been suicides by people in TWI or after they left and attempted to adjust to real life, how many will probably never be accurately known.
And there has been suicides amongst people while still in or after they left the Army, and the Navy, and the Catholic Church, and the Baptist Church, and the NFL, and many of America's high schools, and many of America's colleges and universities, and on and on. The point is, The Way and The People's Temple were no way near the same. I am not trying to excuse VP for the bad things he did to people. But this comparison is ridiculous. I know, I used to be in The Way too.
That is a very interesting observation skyrider ...
it could mean vp wasn't thinking clearly when he made the story up
it could mean his vision came from darkness instead of light
sounds more like a tell on his tendncy to dramatize/hyperbolize his stories, though that seems a rather obvious oversite.
If Gawd taught him like it hadn't been since the first century, then he taught it thru other men that vp then plagiarized.
Or maybe God would gladly teach any man like He hasn't been able to since the first century, but man is so incapable that no man ever is able to learn it. I'm sure God is willing to perfectly teach any of us, like any "perfect parent" would gladly teach their children. But kids are imperfect.
Maybe VP's desire to be "the special/chosen one" opened him up to those spirits of ego? His first thought was ...
Boy, if I learned this Word of God,
everybody will listen to me
.
But God just (allegedly) promised to teach him, not to have everyone listen to him. Each of those snowflakes was one of those angels of light ... legions of them out of the darkness. ...
I just need to fit some spiders in there.
rhino..........yeah, lots of interpretations and questions arise from wierwille's "experience."
I mean, really......how many rural Ohioans describe a snowstorm as a pitch black "snowstorm"...??
And further.........was it pitch black.......or "almost pitch black".......wierwille wavers. :blink:
Talk about a psychological hoax.......that laid "claim" to wierwille's mog status?????????
I was never a part of any ministry or cult that resembled anything like that which was described in the first post, and I was with The Way from 75 till 91.
I do remember the SNS tape "The Current Psychological Hoax", and listened to it while I was in Oregon. And I remember being appalled that anyone would think that The Way was anything like Jim Jones's cult. I do remember the impact that the news had on my twig though. I had a whole family coming to my twig, a retarded child and all, who, after hearing the news about the "colt" as they put it, ceased to come to fellowship anymore, and I was really pi$$ed about that. I was doing nothing more than teaching that family about Jesus Christ our Lord, and then wham! The "Oregonian" got to them and it was all over. Hacked me off big time.
Jim Jones was way whack and was a murderer, and The Way ministry I was involved with, warts and all, was NOTHING like The People's Temple that Jim Jones was the leader of.
DUDE, I think that your "vision" is way off base. I don't know what to tell you to do about it, but, it was/is way off base...
Cheers!
JL
We ALL LAUGHED AT THE IDEA OF TWI BEING A CULT,I did write that and that was LIVE AT EMPORIA I was there and you were their laughing too!
The Way did have no mass suicides, but there have been suicides by people in TWI or after they left and attempted to adjust to real life, how many will probably never be accurately known.
And there has been suicides amongst people while still in or after they left the Army, and the Navy, and the Catholic Church, and the Baptist Church, and the NFL, and many of America's high schools, and many of America's colleges and universities, and on and on. The point is, The Way and The People's Temple were no way near the same. I am not trying to excuse VP for the bad things he did to people. But this comparison is ridiculous. ]
I dont think so, they have more in common as far as cult characteristics than they dont..They could be enumerated.
As far as the suicides you are right, people do have all sorts of reasons for suicide in the general population. Way figures will never be known, but it would be interesting to see if Way and post Way people had a higher percentage rate than the general population. The fact that TWI hid and whitewashed them never sat well with me and makes it near impossible.
At least the Army, Navy, high schools, colleges , universities etc will recognize these things as a real problem, analyze them and make adjustments if necessary instead of living in the pretend Wayworld where everything was always hunkydory
And there has been suicides amongst people while still in or after they left the Army, and the Navy, and the Catholic Church, and the Baptist Church, and the NFL, and many of America's high schools, and many of America's colleges and universities, and on and on. The point is, The Way and The People's Temple were no way near the same. I am not trying to excuse VP for the bad things he did to people. But this comparison is ridiculous. I know, I used to be in The Way too.
Hi, Jonny
Yes, people from all walks of life commit suicide for a multitude of reasons.
I have posted this before but it bears repeating.
Many years ago, a friend of mine, who was in a compromised state due to mental illness, was told by an advanced class grad, that he(my friend) was born again of the wrong seed.
Maybe someone other than him would have shaken it off and walked away.
Instead, he left me a note that said he could not go on living with this knowledge about himself.
He committed suicide. I found him.
In my mind, there will always seem to be a direct connection between this person's actions(as a representative of TWI) and my friend's suicide. It's not a coincidence. He killed himself because of what a believer told him.
That person based that conclusion on teachings that came from TWI.
Now, of course, he could have also taken his own life over some other scenario, and, perhaps, would have if given enough time.
I don't know.
But that's kinda like saying, "Sorry I ran over your dog, Mrs. Jones, but he was old and would have died soon anyway so it's not really all that bad."
Anyway, my point in posting was not to single out the specific subject matter of this experience, but, rather to simply say that I too have had a similar experience.
It just so happens that the subject matter involved The Way.
I don't think this kind of thing is unique to TWI and apologize if I gave that impression.
I'm sorry about the tragic death of your friend, what a shame.
I won't try to minimize his feelings or his death by offering a bunch of phychological stuff or my own experiences.
I do agree with your suggestion that other things might have been going on, but of course that will never be completely known. The point is that he was so very deeply hurt and affected by those words and be believed them!!!
Enough that he chose a permanant solution to a temporary problem; but it wasn't temporary to him.
This is the perfect example of the hold and the control and the abuse and the loss.
I know this is off topic, but I find that bug of yours very annoying .. makes me want to swat him with something. If realism was the look you are going for, congratulations.
I only wish I had a vision or revelation...call it what you will...that was as clear as vpw flipping the bird. Talk about communicating in a way that you could relate to.
I do know that the first time I met lcm in the flesh, I had a "gut" reaction of absolute disgust and revulsion. I too felt guilty and like something was wrong with me for feeling that way. Curious how we spent so much time supposedly learning about discerning of spirits, and word of knowledge, etc...and when it actually manifested in our lives with regard to twi...we were too indoctrinated to believe or heed it.
I only wish I had a vision or revelation...call it what you will...that was as clear as vpw flipping the bird. Talk about communicating in a way that you could relate to.
I do know that the first time I met lcm in the flesh, I had a "gut" reaction of absolute disgust and revulsion. I too felt guilty and like something was wrong with me for feeling that way. Curious how we spent so much time supposedly learning about discerning of spirits, and word of knowledge, etc...and when it actually manifested in our lives with regard to twi...we were too indoctrinated to believe or heed it.
Don't beat yourself up, 2fer.
I knew next to nothing about TWI or VPW at the time this happened.
It's only now, 30+ years later, that it's starting to make any sense to me.
Heck, for all I know, maybe I wasn't supposed to understand it "in the moment".
Maybe the reason it was so vivid was so I would always remember it and it would resurface at a future date.
If that's the case, perhaps your "gut" reaction is really a similar experience----- not a warning of what to do, but a bit of data to be stored and understood at a future time.
Funny that we both felt that sense of guilt for having had such thoughts.
For me, the guilt grew because the more I thought I was learning about TWI and it's doctrines, the more reason I had to feel guilty stupid to have had those thoughts.
I don't know.
I'm only theorizing.
Even though I don't understand it, it is no longer a source of guilt for me and shouldn't be for you either.(IMO)
Why thank you "cathedra". But I do dismiss people who allude to some "fact" that The Way was anything like Jim Jones's suicidal cult. I know that your life is miserable because of your involvement with The Way, because you have stated it over and again, and, I wish you Godspeed and deliverance. But you must admit that we Ex-Wayfers have, by enlarge, fared far better than those 900 people who died at "Jonestown", ya know what I mean? At least we are still living and breathing, ya know? Count yer blessings girl, and breath a sigh of relief. Peace be unto you Excie...
well maybe you shouldn't dismiss people even if they allude to the way cult being something like jim jones.... a suicide is a suicide, don't you think ? i believe the bible says something about one little person (you know, as opposed to 900....)
did i say my life was miserable ? and did i state over and over my life is miserable because of my involvement with the way ?
again, as far as who fared better than whomever, ask maybe one suicide victim when you see them (when they are living and breathing again, that is)
If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.
Why thank you "cathedra". But I do dismiss people who allude to some "fact" that The Way was anything like Jim Jones's suicidal cult. I know that your life is miserable because of your involvement with The Way, because you have stated it over and again, and, I wish you Godspeed and deliverance. But you must admit that we Ex-Wayfers have, by enlarge, fared far better than those 900 people who died at "Jonestown", ya know what I mean? At least we are still living and breathing, ya know? Count yer blessings girl, and breath a sigh of relief. Peace be unto you Excie...
Hi Jonny Lingo,
I agree with you that we fared a lot better than the people who died at Jonestown and I'm thankful.
But I do remember thinking at one point when I was so conflicted that it would be a relief if they wanted us to drink the kool aid because then it would give me a reason to leave without shame and guilt and convince others to leave too. I know that sounds really wierd, but whenever a tragedy happened to people after they left twi-that's what they attributed it to. That leaving the twi was the reason calamity occured. It was very manipulating.
I watched the History channel last week and there was a documentary "Jonestown-Paradise Lost." They interviewed a lot of people including the son of Jim Jones. Like I said, I agree with you that we fared better than them. But I did recognise something. Jim Jones did remind me of Craig to some extent. Jim Jones thought everyone needed to go down with him. Craig thought anyone who didn't "stand" with him deserved the worse life had to offer. They both had incredible ego's and they didn't seem to care that satifying their ego's came at the expense of others.
Yeah, they interviewed a lot of the people in the people's temple..
I would imagine a lot of them didn't think it was a blood thirsty cult before the "founder" started passing out the kool aid, and forcing the flock to drink.
Maybe the only difference between jones and vic in 1976- vic didn't go AS far off the deep end about his conspiracies and have some kinda "vision" that people were better off doing themselves in..
I knew next to nothing about TWI or VPW at the time this happened.
It's only now, 30+ years later, that it's starting to make any sense to me.
Heck, for all I know, maybe I wasn't supposed to understand it "in the moment".
Maybe the reason it was so vivid was so I would always remember it and it would resurface at a future date.
If that's the case, perhaps your "gut" reaction is really a similar experience----- not a warning of what to do, but a bit of data to be stored and understood at a future time.
Funny that we both felt that sense of guilt for having had such thoughts.
For me, the guilt grew because the more I thought I was learning about TWI and it's doctrines, the more reason I had to feel guilty stupid to have had those thoughts.
I don't know.
I'm only theorizing.
Even though I don't understand it, it is no longer a source of guilt for me and shouldn't be for you either.(IMO)
I think what bothered me in retrospect was realizing that, on some level, I really DID understand it in the moment. I knew what I felt, and I was never able to forget the impression it made, but it was so incongruent with what I thought twi was about, that I didn't allow myself to really heed the warning. I pushed it down, and didn't give it the attention it deserved. It was easier to doubt that still, small voice, than it was to consider what it was really telling me.
It's not a source of guilt for me...other than perhaps wishing I would have paid attention and gotten out a whole lot sooner. Any regrets I feel now are directly related to all the situations I KNEW were wrong, with no revelation required...all the times I sat quietly, and did not stand up and speak up when every fiber of me was crying out to do so...and I pushed those feelings down and kept coming back...maybe not guilt, but definitely disappointment and regrets...
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skyrider
Well, it wasn't Black rain......but it was pitch black when wierwille claimed that he saw his "vision" that God was there.
Here is an excerpt from Mrs. Wierwille's book...."Born Again to Serve."
After all this activity and reaching out to learn more, I must know to satisy my inner yearning. And so I stood in my newly rented office and prayed to the Father. "Father, teach me the Word, teach me the Word." He told me as plain as day that if I would study the Word, He would teach me the Word like He had not been able to teach it to anybody since the first century. And, of course, at that time I thought, "Now that's a dandy. Boy, if I learned this Word of God, everybody will listen to me. The whole church will be blessed; my denomination will grow by leaps and bounds because we'll have the Word of God." And I thought that was terrrific. But during the process of that revelation, I said, "Father, how will I know that this is You and that You'll really teach it to me? Because I had worked the Word in commentaries and the rest of it, and I couldn't understand it, couldn't get it to fit.
And the sun was shining brightly. It was in the fall of the year. Gorgeous. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. And just on the inside of me it seemed to say, "Well, just say to the Father, "Well, if it'll just snow right now, you'll just know that this is God talking to you.'" Cause you see. I'd never had much experience with God's talking to me. And this business of His saying to me, just as audibly as I am speaking to you, that He'd teach me the Word if I'd teach it, sort of shook me. I'd been expecting to hear from heaven for a long time, but I hadn't heard that way before. Oh, my ears were perhaps clogged up. Since that time I've heard a lot of things from Him.
And I said, "Lord, to know that this is true, I'd like to see it snow." And I opened my eyes, and it was pitch-black, almost pitch-black outside, and the snow was falling so thick. I have never seen it fall that thick since that day.
And I sat in that little office, and I cried like a baby. Because I guess it was about my time to cry because I'd grown up but I didn't know the Word. And from that day on since He promised He'd teach me the Word, I have tried with all my heart to learn this Word.
Note: I've been in dozens of heavy snowstorms, and even blizzards......yet, I'd describe them as WHITE-OUT conditions, not black.
<_<
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rhino
That is a very interesting observation skyrider ...
it could mean vp wasn't thinking clearly when he made the story up
it could mean his vision came from darkness instead of light
sounds more like a tell on his tendncy to dramatize/hyperbolize his stories, though that seems a rather obvious oversite.
If Gawd taught him like it hadn't been since the first century, then he taught it thru other men that vp then plagiarized.
Or maybe God would gladly teach any man like He hasn't been able to since the first century, but man is so incapable that no man ever is able to learn it. I'm sure God is willing to perfectly teach any of us, like any "perfect parent" would gladly teach their children. But kids are imperfect.
Maybe VP's desire to be "the special/chosen one" opened him up to those spirits of ego? His first thought was ...
But God just (allegedly) promised to teach him, not to have everyone listen to him. Each of those snowflakes was one of those angels of light ... legions of them out of the darkness. ...
I just need to fit some spiders in there.
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J0nny Ling0
And there has been suicides amongst people while still in or after they left the Army, and the Navy, and the Catholic Church, and the Baptist Church, and the NFL, and many of America's high schools, and many of America's colleges and universities, and on and on. The point is, The Way and The People's Temple were no way near the same. I am not trying to excuse VP for the bad things he did to people. But this comparison is ridiculous. I know, I used to be in The Way too.
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skyrider
rhino..........yeah, lots of interpretations and questions arise from wierwille's "experience."
I mean, really......how many rural Ohioans describe a snowstorm as a pitch black "snowstorm"...??
And further.........was it pitch black.......or "almost pitch black".......wierwille wavers. :blink:
Talk about a psychological hoax.......that laid "claim" to wierwille's mog status?????????
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cheranne
We ALL LAUGHED AT THE IDEA OF TWI BEING A CULT,I did write that and that was LIVE AT EMPORIA I was there and you were their laughing too!
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mstar1
I dont think so, they have more in common as far as cult characteristics than they dont..They could be enumerated.
As far as the suicides you are right, people do have all sorts of reasons for suicide in the general population. Way figures will never be known, but it would be interesting to see if Way and post Way people had a higher percentage rate than the general population. The fact that TWI hid and whitewashed them never sat well with me and makes it near impossible.
At least the Army, Navy, high schools, colleges , universities etc will recognize these things as a real problem, analyze them and make adjustments if necessary instead of living in the pretend Wayworld where everything was always hunkydory
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waysider
Hi, Jonny
Yes, people from all walks of life commit suicide for a multitude of reasons.
I have posted this before but it bears repeating.
Many years ago, a friend of mine, who was in a compromised state due to mental illness, was told by an advanced class grad, that he(my friend) was born again of the wrong seed.
Maybe someone other than him would have shaken it off and walked away.
Instead, he left me a note that said he could not go on living with this knowledge about himself.
He committed suicide. I found him.
In my mind, there will always seem to be a direct connection between this person's actions(as a representative of TWI) and my friend's suicide. It's not a coincidence. He killed himself because of what a believer told him.
That person based that conclusion on teachings that came from TWI.
Now, of course, he could have also taken his own life over some other scenario, and, perhaps, would have if given enough time.
I don't know.
But that's kinda like saying, "Sorry I ran over your dog, Mrs. Jones, but he was old and would have died soon anyway so it's not really all that bad."
Anyway, my point in posting was not to single out the specific subject matter of this experience, but, rather to simply say that I too have had a similar experience.
It just so happens that the subject matter involved The Way.
I don't think this kind of thing is unique to TWI and apologize if I gave that impression.
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Shellon
I'm sorry about the tragic death of your friend, what a shame.
I won't try to minimize his feelings or his death by offering a bunch of phychological stuff or my own experiences.
I do agree with your suggestion that other things might have been going on, but of course that will never be completely known. The point is that he was so very deeply hurt and affected by those words and be believed them!!!
Enough that he chose a permanant solution to a temporary problem; but it wasn't temporary to him.
This is the perfect example of the hold and the control and the abuse and the loss.
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J0nny Ling0
I'm sorry about your friend too Waysider. I hope the moron who told him that lie found out about this person's suicide.
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DogLover
MStar1,
I know this is off topic, but I find that bug of yours very annoying .. makes me want to swat him with something. If realism was the look you are going for, congratulations.
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pond
that bug makes my cat bite the screen it is something.
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waysider
What bug???
:B)
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mstar1
I've always been a fan of Bugs
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2fortheroad
I only wish I had a vision or revelation...call it what you will...that was as clear as vpw flipping the bird. Talk about communicating in a way that you could relate to.
I do know that the first time I met lcm in the flesh, I had a "gut" reaction of absolute disgust and revulsion. I too felt guilty and like something was wrong with me for feeling that way. Curious how we spent so much time supposedly learning about discerning of spirits, and word of knowledge, etc...and when it actually manifested in our lives with regard to twi...we were too indoctrinated to believe or heed it.
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waysider
Don't beat yourself up, 2fer.
I knew next to nothing about TWI or VPW at the time this happened.
It's only now, 30+ years later, that it's starting to make any sense to me.
Heck, for all I know, maybe I wasn't supposed to understand it "in the moment".
Maybe the reason it was so vivid was so I would always remember it and it would resurface at a future date.
If that's the case, perhaps your "gut" reaction is really a similar experience----- not a warning of what to do, but a bit of data to be stored and understood at a future time.
Funny that we both felt that sense of guilt for having had such thoughts.
For me, the guilt grew because the more I thought I was learning about TWI and it's doctrines, the more reason I had to feel guilty stupid to have had those thoughts.
I don't know.
I'm only theorizing.
Even though I don't understand it, it is no longer a source of guilt for me and shouldn't be for you either.(IMO)
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J0nny Ling0
That BUG is doing and endless figure eights. Just thought you might want to know that...
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outintexas
I like the bug. Reminds me of the TV commercials a few years ago with the roaches crawling on the screen.
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excathedra
that was funny about your cat and the bug, pond
okay jonny (sorry for calling you lingo)
well maybe you shouldn't dismiss people even if they allude to the way cult being something like jim jones.... a suicide is a suicide, don't you think ? i believe the bible says something about one little person (you know, as opposed to 900....)
did i say my life was miserable ? and did i state over and over my life is miserable because of my involvement with the way ?
again, as far as who fared better than whomever, ask maybe one suicide victim when you see them (when they are living and breathing again, that is)
count my blessing, girl ? thank you jonny
peace be with you :)
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excathedra
i found what i was thinking about.....
that's kind of my point
about comparing precious people
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happyheart
Hi Jonny Lingo,
I agree with you that we fared a lot better than the people who died at Jonestown and I'm thankful.
But I do remember thinking at one point when I was so conflicted that it would be a relief if they wanted us to drink the kool aid because then it would give me a reason to leave without shame and guilt and convince others to leave too. I know that sounds really wierd, but whenever a tragedy happened to people after they left twi-that's what they attributed it to. That leaving the twi was the reason calamity occured. It was very manipulating.
I watched the History channel last week and there was a documentary "Jonestown-Paradise Lost." They interviewed a lot of people including the son of Jim Jones. Like I said, I agree with you that we fared better than them. But I did recognise something. Jim Jones did remind me of Craig to some extent. Jim Jones thought everyone needed to go down with him. Craig thought anyone who didn't "stand" with him deserved the worse life had to offer. They both had incredible ego's and they didn't seem to care that satifying their ego's came at the expense of others.
Just some thoughts.
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Ham
Yeah, they interviewed a lot of the people in the people's temple..
I would imagine a lot of them didn't think it was a blood thirsty cult before the "founder" started passing out the kool aid, and forcing the flock to drink.
Maybe the only difference between jones and vic in 1976- vic didn't go AS far off the deep end about his conspiracies and have some kinda "vision" that people were better off doing themselves in..
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2fortheroad
I think what bothered me in retrospect was realizing that, on some level, I really DID understand it in the moment. I knew what I felt, and I was never able to forget the impression it made, but it was so incongruent with what I thought twi was about, that I didn't allow myself to really heed the warning. I pushed it down, and didn't give it the attention it deserved. It was easier to doubt that still, small voice, than it was to consider what it was really telling me.
It's not a source of guilt for me...other than perhaps wishing I would have paid attention and gotten out a whole lot sooner. Any regrets I feel now are directly related to all the situations I KNEW were wrong, with no revelation required...all the times I sat quietly, and did not stand up and speak up when every fiber of me was crying out to do so...and I pushed those feelings down and kept coming back...maybe not guilt, but definitely disappointment and regrets...
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J0nny Ling0
VPW lives:
http://sowersonline.com/default.aspx
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cheranne
and..why do i care about this?
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