You can ask them for the power of attorney to access their accounts. If they are not willing thenget a lawyer and go to court to seek it, you will have to prove why you think it may be better to handle their money, and the court can assign them an attorny who will help in their behalf.
As far as the cross words that is just your dads choice, unless again you prove he is incapable of making sound decisions with his money and demand power of attorny. doesnt sound like he would comply.
I'm not an attorney, so I can't give legal advice. But, I do work for a commercial debt management company. Although I handle business debt, not consumer debt, some things I know can help you. First off, you are not liable for your parents debt, unless you have signed off on it. Second, your parents need to recognize the money is out of control, and they need to give you power of attorney over their finances. How this happens, varies from state to state, and there are many different kinds of powers of attorney, so you have to find out how it works, what's available (egads, did I say that?) in your state.
Next, the credit card debt can be dealt with, once payments on the card/cards stop for about 6 months.
About being upside down in the house, if the bank takes it, where would they live?
There are solutions, Breeze, and it may not be as difficult a situation as you think. If I were you, I would find a really good attorney, who can empathize with your parents situation.
The thing is, it takes money to settle debt. If your parents are being totally milked dry, you need to stop it, like now.
The only thing I would add to Ex10's very good insight is that if you check with your local bar association, there's a good chance you can find a low cost initial consultation from an attorney that practices in this kind of thing...
The key here is with their permission, you can legally act and get the POA. If dimentia/ahltzeimers is not a factor, if you cannot convince them to give their permission-you have no recourse, they are adults and can p*ss away their home and their living any way they want.
I would definitely talk to an attorney, get some financial advise from a variety of sources, think about setting up their estate as a trust so that you can step in when it's necessary in the future, they should consent to that. (They can even name a third party as a trustee if they don't trust their children.)
Can you gather their friends and relatives, your siblings, their brothers and sisters, anyone that they will listen to and conduct a financial intervention?
Is your dad's stubborness a result of dimentia?? Do you know the signs?
The key here is with their permission, you can legally act and get the POA. If dimentia/ahltzeimers is not a factor, if you cannot convince them to give their permission-you have no recourse, they are adults and can p*ss away their home and their living any way they want.
I would definitely talk to an attorney, get some financial advise from a variety of sources, think about setting up their estate as a trust so that you can step in when it's necessary in the future, they should consent to that. (They can even name a third party as a trustee if they don't trust their children.)
Can you gather their friends and relatives, your siblings, their brothers and sisters, anyone that they will listen to and conduct a financial intervention?
Is your dad's stubborness a result of dimentia?? Do you know the signs?
Thanks for the responce. I dont know the the signs but will study up on it.
Dear Breeze,
I'm not an attorney, so I can't give legal advice. But, I do work for a commercial debt management company. Although I handle business debt, not consumer debt, some things I know can help you. First off, you are not liable for your parents debt, unless you have signed off on it. Second, your parents need to recognize the money is out of control, and they need to give you power of attorney over their finances. How this happens, varies from state to state, and there are many different kinds of powers of attorney, so you have to find out how it works, what's available (egads, did I say that?) in your state.
Next, the credit card debt can be dealt with, once payments on the card/cards stop for about 6 months.
About being upside down in the house, if the bank takes it, where would they live?
There are solutions, Breeze, and it may not be as difficult a situation as you think. If I were you, I would find a really good attorney, who can empathize with your parents situation.
The thing is, it takes money to settle debt. If your parents are being totally milked dry, you need to stop it, like now.
Hope this helps.
Thanks. We're looking into assisted living for them. Thanks for the suggestions.
Fortunity my parents didn't have the debt problem. What happened was that I slowly became the parent. They became less able to make the decisions.
The worse feeling in the world is to become the parent of your parents. The phycological net that you have with having parents evaporates and is reversed.
Pray that realestate prices reverse(go up) so that you can get control of the house pit. Around here 200K is a large house.
Depending upon the size of the city/county your folks live in, there may be some assistance and guidance through their "Agencies on Aging". Many counties have
resources and specialists dedicated to senior citizens. You can check the government listings in the phone book.
I would strongly encourage a call to your parents physician. While the office may not be able to discuss their care (unless they have provided consent) it is likely
that the health care provider would be interested and may be able to facillitate a family meeting.
I'm no help here, but it is not surprising that creditors let people get as much in debt as they do. I'm not just talking about all the credit card (Pre-aproved!) offers we all get, but financial institutions seem to be always asking people to get more in debt as long as it is with them.
My dad has somehow managed to get mixed up with some scam that promises to send him 1000000 if he fills out these crossword puzzles and sends 20.00 to a P.O. box, which he sends 10 a day.
Am I reading this right? He sends 10 a day with $20 each time? That is $200 per day?
If he is doing that he must still have savings/income from somewhere. If there is anything left to save, they may be to a point where your siblings could have him declared at least financially incompetent. If he does have assets remaining, your parents retirement may be more comfortable if they have some money left, instead of depending on the government.
It is a difficult thing, having aging parents. The choices can become complex, and the awefulness of isolation and lonliness should be considered. Assisted living can be great if they are still able to get around. In central Illinois for a couple including meals, it was like $34,000/year.
another alternative is Assisted Living homes..they are very simple, usualy around 6-8 beds or so..and around 1200 and up a month, depending on level of care. Folks buy big houses and remodel them so they can get certified by the state..They serve hot meals and have entertainment for them...its usualy better for the old folks cause they get more one on one care and they live like a little family...
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waysider
Hello, Breeze
Wish I had some answers for you but I really don't.
I know there are some people here who are well versed in this sort of thing.
Perhaps they can help you narrow down your search for the types of professional counseling your situation requires.
In the meanwhile, I am going to initiate a prayer request for you in the "prayer forum".
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pond
You can ask them for the power of attorney to access their accounts. If they are not willing thenget a lawyer and go to court to seek it, you will have to prove why you think it may be better to handle their money, and the court can assign them an attorny who will help in their behalf.
As far as the cross words that is just your dads choice, unless again you prove he is incapable of making sound decisions with his money and demand power of attorny. doesnt sound like he would comply.
it isnt illegal to be in debt .
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excathedra
oh i'm so very sorry breeze (hugs / prayers)
my sister took over my mom's and her husband's finances (with their whining consent)
she collects their social security and what little else they have in pension / investments
she gives them monthly spending money (and tells us other kids what to give them as gifts on gift occasions)
she took all their credit cards from them
she also manages their prescriptions and spent an enormous amount of time researching that end of it
i don't know if i could do what she has done. i couldn't
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ex10
Dear Breeze,
I'm not an attorney, so I can't give legal advice. But, I do work for a commercial debt management company. Although I handle business debt, not consumer debt, some things I know can help you. First off, you are not liable for your parents debt, unless you have signed off on it. Second, your parents need to recognize the money is out of control, and they need to give you power of attorney over their finances. How this happens, varies from state to state, and there are many different kinds of powers of attorney, so you have to find out how it works, what's available (egads, did I say that?) in your state.
Next, the credit card debt can be dealt with, once payments on the card/cards stop for about 6 months.
About being upside down in the house, if the bank takes it, where would they live?
There are solutions, Breeze, and it may not be as difficult a situation as you think. If I were you, I would find a really good attorney, who can empathize with your parents situation.
The thing is, it takes money to settle debt. If your parents are being totally milked dry, you need to stop it, like now.
Hope this helps.
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Rocky
The only thing I would add to Ex10's very good insight is that if you check with your local bar association, there's a good chance you can find a low cost initial consultation from an attorney that practices in this kind of thing...
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Jim
What Rocky said. Ask them how to contact your local Legal Aid Society. It's a group of lawyers that give pro bono help to people that can't afford it.
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now I see
The key here is with their permission, you can legally act and get the POA. If dimentia/ahltzeimers is not a factor, if you cannot convince them to give their permission-you have no recourse, they are adults and can p*ss away their home and their living any way they want.
I would definitely talk to an attorney, get some financial advise from a variety of sources, think about setting up their estate as a trust so that you can step in when it's necessary in the future, they should consent to that. (They can even name a third party as a trustee if they don't trust their children.)
Can you gather their friends and relatives, your siblings, their brothers and sisters, anyone that they will listen to and conduct a financial intervention?
Is your dad's stubborness a result of dimentia?? Do you know the signs?
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Breeze
Thanks for the responce. I dont know the the signs but will study up on it.
Thanks. We're looking into assisted living for them. Thanks for the suggestions.
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ex70sHouston
Fortunity my parents didn't have the debt problem. What happened was that I slowly became the parent. They became less able to make the decisions.
The worse feeling in the world is to become the parent of your parents. The phycological net that you have with having parents evaporates and is reversed.
Pray that realestate prices reverse(go up) so that you can get control of the house pit. Around here 200K is a large house.
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ebn1957
For what it is worth -
Depending upon the size of the city/county your folks live in, there may be some assistance and guidance through their "Agencies on Aging". Many counties have
resources and specialists dedicated to senior citizens. You can check the government listings in the phone book.
I would strongly encourage a call to your parents physician. While the office may not be able to discuss their care (unless they have provided consent) it is likely
that the health care provider would be interested and may be able to facillitate a family meeting.
Kind regards.
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Lifted Up
I'm no help here, but it is not surprising that creditors let people get as much in debt as they do. I'm not just talking about all the credit card (Pre-aproved!) offers we all get, but financial institutions seem to be always asking people to get more in debt as long as it is with them.
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excathedra
dearest breeze, as was mentioned i believe, there are assisted living / housing alternatives for older folks
i believe, in my town, their rent is based on their financial situation
and it's so much safer, you know, one floor.... no stairs.... other things....
i know i'm not really giving you any information. i wish you all the luck in your search
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rhino
Am I reading this right? He sends 10 a day with $20 each time? That is $200 per day?
If he is doing that he must still have savings/income from somewhere. If there is anything left to save, they may be to a point where your siblings could have him declared at least financially incompetent. If he does have assets remaining, your parents retirement may be more comfortable if they have some money left, instead of depending on the government.
It is a difficult thing, having aging parents. The choices can become complex, and the awefulness of isolation and lonliness should be considered. Assisted living can be great if they are still able to get around. In central Illinois for a couple including meals, it was like $34,000/year.
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likeaneagle
another alternative is Assisted Living homes..they are very simple, usualy around 6-8 beds or so..and around 1200 and up a month, depending on level of care. Folks buy big houses and remodel them so they can get certified by the state..They serve hot meals and have entertainment for them...its usualy better for the old folks cause they get more one on one care and they live like a little family...
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