Looking for a few good "men", "women" too.

[Ham]

"outreach to the Eskimo. "

Join the jetset, and the pace setters.

Wanted:

a few young, energetic, exuberant and motivated individuals. Must be young, healthy, and have a full set of teeth, personal transportation, and MONEY, who are willing to travel to exotic places.

We offer a world exclusive set of icemakers for eskimos. Every home, or igloo will be graced by the presence of one, or preferably more of these finely, accurately constructed appliances.

Each comes with an unconditional warranty, that for the life, or less than life of the user, the user is entitled to all the ice he or she should ever want.

Join the select few, and garner benefits:

1. You will be so "blessed" to meet the designing engineer, or a close facimile thereof, and smother him (her?) with lavish praise and a minimum of fifteen percent of the proceeds from your snow shovelling job.

2. You will get the golden "opportunity" to replace those who went before, and have not shown by continual "believing action", that they are worthy to receive the precious spittle of the "maker".

3. You will enjoy the warm "fellowship" of the likeminded, unless they become wretched and unproductive.

4. As a representative, you will soon be entitled to all the ice that your heart can desire.

To expedite your enrollment process, send your qualifications, proof of income, copies of all recent bank statments, copy of the title of your vehicle (no liens on title are acceptable) and doctor's and dentist's report on the state of your health and full set of dental xrays.

offer and guarantee only valid at or above the northern 78th parallel, or below the southern 78th parallel, at and until such time as the polar caps shall melt, due to natural earth warming effects or otherwise

Edited November 19, 2007 by Mr. Hammeroni

[Nero]

Do I get all of the water for my free ice in one lump sum when I start or is this one of those you get a cup of water every month sort of deals? Or must I provide all of the water myself?

I had a friend tell me that the icemaker you are selling was held together with rubber bands. Comment?

Also - how is ice as a currency? I believe pocket lint was worth more than paper clips last month and I believe ice cubes are worth more than paper clips yes? But I have not been watching the news.

Edited November 19, 2007 by Nero

[Edi]

That was good Mr. Ham......

[nyunknown]

Does that include giving out social security number, credit cards and credit report? :blink:

[Ham]

Need you ask?

It's a "suggestion".. but we all know a suggestion is tantamount to a command.

I had a friend tell me that the icemaker you are selling was held together with rubber bands. Comment?

Those aren't rubber bands. They are The Prevailing Verd and Ice over Der Vorld bands. Embossed on each, "The Word of Squirrel is the Will of Squirrel".

[cinderpelt]

Will the first 500 be autographed by our "Squirrel in de verd"?

[Ham]

hmm. That's a thought. For a limited time, and the right kind of schmmozing not to mention "contributions".. I think we can get the Great Squirrel to interrupt his rather "hectic" fall schedule..

[cinderpelt]

Can't we just get the autographed product for sacrificing our day off and showing up, like good little Squirrel-feeders? It's the least you could do. Maybe someday they'll go for enough on e-bay to replenish those retirement funds that took a back seat to other, more "worthy" expenditures.

~Cinder

[Ham]

Well.. for a bag of pecans, it's a deal..

[nyunknown]

Well at least you word of the squirrel had more value than the TWI word.

[cinderpelt]

"Well.. for a bag of pecans, it's a deal.."

I'll see what I can do. We once harvested the most lovely pecans from the trees on my great-aunt Rita's estate in Gulfport, MS. Unfortunately, Katrina hauled the whole estate a half-mile inland. I may still have some connections. I really need that Ice-maker, though! Pleeeaaassse?

[Ham]

just brining this to the top for the new folks around here. You'll want to know who and what you're dealing with ya know..

[Ham]

I thought this little thread might have some relevance to the "sowers" discussion..

[TheHighWay]

... and have a full set of teeth...

Oh, crap, that leaves me out!

[Ham]

Brought back for a visitor here.. certainly relevant. OF COURSE they are "nice" now..

they've got a warehouse full of these things.. somebody's gotta sell them..

Edited May 5, 2008 by Ham

[Twinky]

I'm only coming along if I can have some ice skates (so that I can make nice straight lines in the ice)