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You might be walking by the "five senses" if..


Ham
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You think you got a flat tire just because of "dumb luck", and that devils didn't carefully balance the nail in the road carefully on it's head, just as your car drove by going to "twig"..

that you are sicker than a dog, simply because of the general population recirculating a few flu viruses..

that you got fired for any other reason than you represented "gawd" in the workplace..

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You might be walking by the "five senses" if..

you don't think something is fundamentally wrong with wearing a sweater with Looney Tunes characters embossed on it to "twig"..

:biglaugh:

Freud might say that subconsciously, I was expressing my true feelings..

:biglaugh::biglaugh:

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:biglaugh:

hmm. Kinda like wearing a cross to a vampire convention, eh?

:biglaugh::biglaugh:

I dunno, at least the vampires are pretty honest about wanting to destroy your soul and turning into one of their mindless undead minions. XP

You might be walking by the "five senses" if...

You don't see why it's a problem to have a cool Neko-chan statue or Buddha statue in your house. Did anyone ever hear the phrase: "these things are dogwhistles for devil spirts!" They liked to use that on everything they didn't promote. Because if we were out buying cool stuff we weren't putting it into our tithes or buying it from their stores it must be evil. How dare we?!

(sort of likes your Mr. Ham)

You might be walking by the "five senses" if...

You don't think that your car broke down because you were "out of fellowship" with your brother while driving down the road. Can we say old piece of junk we were forced to buy because we could have gone in debt?

The only thing that makes me feel halfway sane is that I didn't buy that junk even though I had JUST finished the Advanced Class at the time.

You might be walking by the "five senses" if...

You got to shake hands with the wog (yes wog) at one of the classes and thought it was no big deal.

Edited by Nero
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You might be walking by the five sense if:

... you think you can go anywhere you want to without having to have a second person with you and not have any consequences.

... you think watching porn with your minister might not be a wise thing.

... having a married person hit on you doesn't seem right even though they act like they are the MOGFODAT.

... ignoring your own needs so you can help your local pastor clean their entire house every week doesn't leave you blessed.

... you don't want to try and get everyone you know to take the stupid bible class.

.. you have more important things to do than study some blue book for the umpteenth time.

.. you think there's nothing wrong with getting on the internet and looking at anti-cult material.

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You might be walking by the 5 senses if...

... You no longer think that a walking suit is appropriate attire to wear to a branch meeting.

(If you are having trouble even recognizing what a walking suit is, you haven't been exposed to the kind of 70's wear that was fashionable for only a few days at the height of the disco craze. Google the term 'walking suits' for further info.)

... You never thought that VPW looked cool in his outfits in the Intermediate Class video.

... You want to complete your college education rather than go out W.O.W for the 3rd-4th time.

... You want to complete your college education rather than totally sacrifice it for the Way Corps and/or making a menial living working at HQ.

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You might be walking by the five senses...

If you smell fruit before you buy it, instead of trying to get revelation about what to buy.

If you see a parking spot right in front of the grocery store and decide to take it.

If you hear someone cough and decide that you might want to use that hand sanitizer in your purse instead of just "believing" you won't get sick.

If you taste thinned out coffee in an old styrofoam cup and spit it out. (Add seeing the old lipstick stains that didn't come off with the first ten washings.)

If being in a cult just feels wrong.

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You might be walking by the 5 senses if ......

You see your pastor grab your wife's derriere and then punch him in the face.

(He was actually ministering healing)

You smell bad breath on your friend and give them a breath mint.

(You friend is actually possessed)

Your gas gauge is on E and you stop to fill up.

(God knows you could have gone 20 more miles)

Edited by Goey
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You might be walking by the "five senses" if..

you don't think something is fundamentally wrong with wearing a sweater with Looney Tunes characters embossed on it to "twig"..

:biglaugh:

I never did such a thing, not at twig. But was I walking by my 5 senses when I put on my Marvin the Martian T-Shirt and Taz hat for a branch witnessing day at the mall.........

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Ya just might be walking by the "five senses" if you refuse to accept the latest fringe conspiracy at your local cult leader's prompting, such as:

1. We never really went to the moon..

2. The moon is made of green cheese (see fact 1)

3. There was no holocaust..

4. "they" are the "enemy".. whoever "they" happen to be..

5. There is no such thing as rape, or corecion, when it comes to der mog..

6. The last pope is coming, on an aircraft carrier..

7. Better dig in, country is coming to an end in 1976..

and the grandaddy of them all:

8. You just can't STAND millet.. or chopped and formed liver, served as some kind of salisbury steak..

:biglaugh:

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Oh, yeah.. the pope's gonna wheel off the carrier in his bullet proof popemobile.. fitted with scud missles, of course.. maybe gonna drive the thing to new knoxville, to da house of da prevailing verd..

:biglaugh:

yeppers..

and you "spiritual" people, I'd better hear you say, "thank gawwwd for da man of gawd who kept it all from happening.."

:biglaugh:

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You just might be walking by the five senses if------------

You fail to see the deep spiritual significance of rinsing Mung Bean sprouts.

You mistakenly believe that cleaning toilets in the BRC is a disgusting task instead of a golden opportunity for spiritual growth.

Forgive me Father, for yea verily, I do loath millet(and liver & onions.)

You might be walking by the five senses if you find yourself asking, "Why the heck do we say Yea verily so much?"

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You might be walking by the five senses...

...If you think that keeping cold medication in the house just in case someone gets sick Is NOT going to bring on sickness through negative believing.

And...

...if when someone in your family does indeed come down with a cold, you know that it's because everyone in the school has been getting sick, and that you didn't cause it with negative believing.

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