euphemisms in the Way

[wrdsandwrks]

Translations according to usage:

I'm believing for the money to take the Advanced Class.

"I'm dead broke but I'm going to scrounge and scrimp and put all my money into paying for this expensive class. If someone is really spiritual then maybe they'll just give me the money to pay for it."

Just renew your mind.

"Turn off your brain and don't think about it, be a good little robot and eventually if you get really good at it your brain and conscience will cease to function as it should and you will be so perfectly "renewed" that you will think that adultery is a good thing and taking advantage of others will come naturally."

I quit my job because I can't think the Word there.

"I'm a lazy bum but I sure do like hanging out at the Twig fellowship and giving "holy kisses" to all the pretty girls. Of course it totally grosses them out but they just need to "renew their minds" to it."

I'm having a real opportunity going to their Twig and would like to go to yours instead.

"Those guys are mean, nasty and I hate going to their house, can I come to yours instead?"

"You'll have to go through the proper Way Tree channels for permission for that. Ask your Twig leader."

I'm thinking the Word of you.

"I hate your guts."

I really got delivered by what you shared at Twig.

"Is my nose turning brown yet?"

I think we should put this in a Lock Box.

"This could be dangerous and perhaps lead to legal repercussions if anyone ever found this out, so we have to make up a doctrine that makes people think that if they ever tell anyone about it they'll have serious spiritual consequences."

What does the Word say about murmuring?

"Shut up and do what I told you to do!"

Why didn't you go with first thought?

"It's your own fault whenever anything bad happens to you."

Believe God to show you the hole in your hedge of believing.

"You probably haven't given enough money."

[T-Bone]

Thank you, WordsandWorks - you've done a fantastic job of speaking in TWIngues with interpretation.

...uhm...well actually - I did the speaking in TWIngues and you provided the interpretation...We'd better re-read the Receiving the Wholly TWIt Today book - I think we're doing something wrong.

no kidding - love your interpretation !!!!!!!!!!

[edited to confuse the plagiarists]

Edited October 10, 2007 by T-Bone

[Ham]

I really got delivered by what you shared at Twig.

I thought it was:

"I think I'm Napolean, too.."

[wrdsandwrks]

...uhm...well actually - I did the speaking in TWIngues and you provided the interpretation...We'd better re-read the Receiving the Wholly TWIt Today book - I think we're doing something wrong.

I shudder to think what would have happened if I, the interpreter, had failed to show up for church this morning.

[Patriot]

May I add a couple?

"COP OUT" was accusative way speak (although not a euphemism) regarding anyone who didn't submit to the order of TWI and decided to move in a different direction concerning many topics (debt, legalism, letting others run their lives and dictate choices that an individual should make for themselves, etc.). They were considered "out of fellowship" if they left 'the fellowship' of TWI. What was indicated was that they were working for the devil.

"SCHEDULE IT" for those of you who were Corps in the recent years after Rosie got going on running everyone's lives by the hour, would know this euphemism means "You don't have time to have fun and do things to enhance your own life or those of your family due to being overscheduled with 3 fellowships a week, Corps night, doing schedules (pre and "actual" schedules to be submitted weekly), hookups, listening to boring tapes, running classes, etc." Therefore, you want to join your employer's men's softball team, take a college course, take dance lessons with your spouse, go fishing, hunting, bowling, etc.....you just don't have the time unless you forsake your 'spiritual' responsibilities." <_<