It's time to update the Sing Along the way book

[bowtwi]

Now's the time for all good culties to add their contributions to the 65th anniversary edition of the Sing Along the way. Entries must be submitted by Friday noon so the BOD has time to get drunk and make fun of them - or, I mean pray over them and get clear and concerned while they ask God's will for which ones to select, sorta like they claimed to pick our wow locations...

Here's a rough draft of a start for a song, so you get the general idea. Feel free to improve on this. Who cares if we have to slur some of the words to make them fit - we've got drambuie-a-plenty at the way if you need some help either slurring your words or your thoughts, whichever it may take.

You all know the routine, change a word, add a word, leave out a word - just make it rhyme!

There's No Two Ways About It

There's no (clap) two ways about it when you're slave labor at the way

Using two squares of toilet paper sharpens you spiritually every day.

Squeeze 3 gallons of coffee from 3 tablespoons of grounds

You'll be the most beloved waybot ever to be found.

There's no (clap) two ways about it when you're tapped into the root

Working at McDonalds will surely bring in loads of loot.

Don't insist on knowing Jesus and force them to give you the boot.

Just suck up to the mwog-fo-dat – pretend you think they're cute.

There's no (clap) two ways about it when you've given your all to the cult

Retiring penniless without a home will be your proud end result.

God won't spit in your direction if you don't do what they say

Well, He'd never spit on you anyhow – He wants you to enjoy your day!

There's no (clap) two ways about what they call worship in the way

Smile while you vacuum in perfect way lines and then pull out the rake

Spotless apartments, robots for children, we don't care that it's all fake!

There's no (clap) two ways about it - life at HQ is a piece of cake.

You must decide - or stay outside - the walls of Zion only go one way

Stand up and say, each and every day - gonna give all my money to the

ones who'll take it from me - Hallelujah!

There's no (clap) two ways about it when you let the BOD take vacations for you

No need to see the world yourself - or get a cool tattoo

stay back and run a stolen class - there's heavenly rewards for the crew

There's no (clap) end to the torture that is waiting just for you.

There's no (clap) two ways about it when you live on mac and cheese

Give 50 percent of your pretax earnings – if you love God you'll do that with ease.

Be spiritually mature like Donna and Rosie and live in the Corps chalet

-oh, doesn't it all just sound so cozy – they're the only two left in the way!

The - only - two - left - in - the - way . . .

(Will the last one out please remember to turn out the lights.)

:unsure:

Edited September 26, 2007 by bowtwi

[JustSayNO]

OMG ROFLMAO,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

I PRESENT OUR NEW FULL TIME SONG WRITER FOR

Way Productions

Pay abundantly given, up to 10% of your needs, but you dont need to ABS on it(just tithe your 10%), seeing as its the household's ABS that will be paying you.

Edited September 26, 2007 by JustSayNO

[Jim]

Oh for a thousand bucks to ring,

In Rosie's collection plates,

Her house and pool will be so clean,

With the cash that we donate.

Our gutless corps and B.O.T.,

Assist her to proclaim,

Our happiness and prosperity,

Amidst our poverty and pain.

We give our time and what little cash,

After our rent we all must pay,

To hear the teachings that Loy rehashed,

But it's better than his ballet.

Rise up ye followers of The Way,

Know they need not melt our face,

There is a place where our kids can play,

And our cars won't be a disgrace.

-With apologies to Charles Wesley, 1739

Edited September 26, 2007 by Jim

[Jim]

I gotta go to bed. Unfortunately, the line "A Mighty Bull Dyke is our MOG" keeps going through my head.

[dmiller]

I would hope that they would retain this one from the Blue "Sing Along The Way" book:

Please turn to number 45, in your Sing Along the Way book ---

(Dorothy?? Rhoda??)

#45 HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN

(Verse 1)

How long has it been

Since you talked with the Lord,

And told Him your heart's hidden secrets?

How long since you prayed?

How long since you stayed

On your knees 'till the light shone through?

How long has it been

Since your mind felt at ease?

How long since your heart knew no burden?

CHORUS:

Can you call Him your friend,

How long has it been,

Since you knew that He cared for you?

(Verse 2)

How long has it been

Since you knelt by your bed,

and prayed to the Lord up in Heaven?

How long since you knew that He'd answer you,

And would keep you the whole night through?

How long has it been since you woke with the dawn,

And felt that the day's worth the living?

CHORUS:

Can you call Him your friend,

How long has it been,

Since you knew that He cared for you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Were they to sing this one (with feeling),

they might accomplish something.

Until that time, they won't.

But I thought it a valid suggestion.

:)

Edited September 26, 2007 by dmiller

[Ham]

I've got, peas like a river

I've got, peas like a river

I've got, peas like a river in my soul

I've got, peas like a river

I've got, peas like a river

I've got, peanuts too cause rico tells me so...

I've got, Joy in the fountain

I've got, Joy in the fountain

I've got, soap to make the bubbles flow..

I've got, Joy in the fountain

I've got, Joy in the fountain

I think they see me, I had better go..

[TheHighWay]

Oh, Ham... that's the best!!!

[tonto]

I gotta go to bed. Unfortunately, the line "A Mighty Bull Dyke is our MOG" keeps going through my head.

Hope you don't mind Jim, but while you were sleeping your thought inspired me:

A Thieving Weasel is Our WOG

A BullDyke Still Prevailing

She Helped Herself To All the Gold

Her Sins and Greed Prevailing

For Still This Ancient Ho

Wants You To Give Her Mo

Her Lust For Power Is Great

And Armed With Cruel Hate

On Earth Don-na's Her Equal

[Jim]

LOL, I couldn't have said it better.

[waysider]

With the rapidly approaching geriatric status of many top Waysters, perhaps an appropriate addition to the "blue book" might be:

What A Fellow's Hip.

[doojable]

Many things about Familia,

I don't seem to understand...

But I know who trades for yogurt,

And I know just where to stand....

Edited September 26, 2007 by doojable

[doojable]

What a Spread of Hips (Or - The BOT Theme Song)

What a spread of hips,

What a big behind

Sitting around an Ohio farm

I"ve got hives my dear

With Rosie so near

Sitting around an Ohio Farm

CHORUS:

Sitting, sitting...safe and secure from all alarms,

(Sitting around the big hot tub)

Sitting, sitting... sitting around an Ohio farm.

(I'll just get more and more grub)

Oh how sweet it is

To make another day

Sitting around an Ohio farm.

I"ve got all my fees

Paid up for a year

Sitting on an Ohio farm..

Repeat CHORUS

[DontWorryBeHappy]

hey all you greasespotters!!!!.......still lmao here!!........what a wonderful service you are providing for the revised sing along the way!!!........hope you're listening rosie, et al!!!.............still laughing as i sing along the way!!!.............peace!

[doojable]

There's No Two Ways About It

(From the Fog years...)

There's no (clap) two ways about it when LoyBoy says you're gay.

He'll Mark and Avoid you - there's nothing you can say

A Greasespot by Midnight will finish up your day

There's no (clap) two ways about it when LoyBoy says you're gay.

[bowtwi]

There's No Two Ways About It

(From the Fog years...)

There's no (clap) two ways about it when LoyBoy says you're gay.

He'll Mark and Avoid you - there's nothing you can say

A Greasespot by Midnight will finish up your day

There's no (clap) two ways about it when LoyBoy says you're gay.

Hey! That's exactly what happened to bow jr and me!

This stuff is great! ROFL

[doojable]

There's No Two Ways About It

(From the Fog years...)

There's no (clap) two ways about it when LoyBoy says you're gay.

He'll Mark and Avoid you - there's nothing you can say

A Greasespot by Midnight will finish up your day

There's no (clap) two ways about it when LoyBoy says you're gay.

Second verse:

You must deny....you must reply...

Just do whatever you must during your day..

Stand up and say, "NO! I"m not gay!"

"Gonna' shoot some pool and then be on my way."

Hallelujah!

There's no...(Repeat)

[TheHighWay]

Many things about Familia,

I don't seem to understand...

But I know who trades for yogurt,

And I know just where to stand....

Dooj... hope you don't mind but you've inspired me:

I don't know about this way-food

I'm half-starved and so I eat

I don't question frozen fruit soup

I don't question Bennie's Wheat

But there's one food I must question

It just gives me so much pain

I go running for the bathroom

Cuz it's made from all raw grains

Many things about Familia,

I don't seem to understand...

But I know that when I eat it

I'll go running for the can!

On Wednesday Nights we pack a sack lunch

And it's always just the same

Sesame Bars, Yogurts, Apples,

And of course, our PBJ's

But the best thing 'bout sack suppers

Is the trading that ensues

Out on the steps and down the sidewalk

As we collect our favorite foods

I don't know about this way-food

I don't seem to understand

But I know who trades for yogurt,

And I know just where to stand....

(edited for typos)

Edited October 1, 2007 by TheHighWay