Best "Should have been said" lines in 24

[GarthP2000]

I came across a message board that (mainly) talks about the show '24', and I came across this thread that talks about lines that 'should have been said' that would have given it added humor or color, all posted by a number of different posters.

*Note: Unless you have been (more or less) a long time fan of 24, a lot of these lines aren't going to make sense. That being said, here are a few that got my chuckle bone:

1) Season 1, Ep 24

David Palmer is walking away from Sherry.

Sherry: David! *David stops, then leaves the room.* David, you just don't walk away from me!

Secret Service Agent 1: He just did, ma'am.

Secret Service Agent 2: Oohhh, you just got burned, ma'am

2) Jack: All I've ever done is what people like you have asked me too...

(Secretary of Defense) Heller: Well, while were at it, can you get me a cup of coffee?

Jack: Damnit...sugar?...cream?

Heller: Both please.

3) Jack: I brought you to the CTU to be safe, Kim. You're defeating my purpose.

Kim: Dad, 3 years ago I got chased by a Mountain lion. 4 1/2 years ago I got taken hostage and almost shot. Working undercover with terrorists is probably the safest thing I've done in years.

4) Ramon: My brother died because of you. Because of YOU!

Jack: Excuse me but who shot him?

5) Jack: Right now, terrorists are plotting to assassinate a presidintial canidate, my wife and dau.....

Tony: JACK!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE SAID THAT EVERY HOUR FOR 23 HOURS STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! EHOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6) *Jack's cellphone rings*

*Jack says, "Thank you! Yes!" and hangs up*

Jack: I have very good news.

Chapelle: What? I'm saved? I don't have to be killed?!

Jack: No. I just saved a crapload of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

7) Jack: Lauren, I haven't slepped in over 24 hours. I've killed two people since midnight. So I think that maybe... maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now.

Lauren: Well I'm not.

*she leaves before Jack can react*

Jack: Son of a *****!

8) Michelle: ...I will shoot you.

Guy: No, you won't.

*Michelle starts to pull trigerr*

Guy: ...or maybe you will!

*guy runs up the hotel stairs crying*

9) Palmer: Jack, Saunders called me with another demand.

Jack: What is it?

Palmer: This isn't an easy one Jack, so I'll be as blunt as I can be. He wants Ryan Chappelle dead.

Jack: I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Palmer: It gets even worse. He also wants you to decapitate Kim with a hacksaw like you did to Marshall Goren.

Jack: What?!

Palmer: Nah I'm just f****n with ya.

10) "What, is this some kind of a joke?"

"It's no joke, Ryan. THIS is a joke...Two men were in a bar..."

Here is the URL where I got it from. ... See if you can think of any of your own.

DAMN IT!!

P.S., Here is another one I just can't help but to post:

11) *Jack and Chase are in a car; Jack's driving, Chase is in the Passenger Seat*

Chase: So, I talked to my doctor today. He recommended this thing.

*Jack takes a sharp turn*

Jack: What thing?

*a flying duck hits the car and sticks to the window shield*

Duck: Aflac.

Chase: If you're tortured by terrorists and you're forced to burn your hand to death, they can help you out.

*Jack makes a quick U-Turn to try to get the duck off the car, but fails*

Jack: Who does?

Duck: Aflac!

Chase: It even covers all your costs, you know, to heal from your torturing.

Jack: Chase, WHAT DOES?!

*The car comes to a sudden halt, and the duck is thrown off the windshield*

Duck: AFLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!

Narrator: Aflac. Ask about it at work.

*duck breaks through the CTU window and lands on Chloe's desk*

Chloe: Argh! Why does the world keep throwing things at me?!

Duck: Aflac!

Edited September 12, 2007 by GarthP2000