That's hella cool Oak! I am assuming that these weddings are considered legal by the state? Good job doing the JW wedding, shows a lot of love for people.
I am assuming that these weddings are considered legal by the state?
You assume correctly. ULC Ministers are considered legal. No registration is necessary. Regulations vary from state to state. Actually all it takes for a marriage to be legal is my signature and the signatures of two witnesses on a marriage license issued by the State of Nebraska. Technically, no ceremony is even needed.
IMHO, even requiring someone to be "ordained" is an anachronism. Why not allow anyone to perform a wedding ceremony? In effect, that's what they do, since I've certianly not had any training or schooling, but I need the piece of paper to be legal.
Hey Oakie- I have always wanted to do this sort of thing..how do you advertize?..
here in the south, they have wedding directors. they usualy are amember of the church and their responsibilities are to oversee the wedding party and that the rules of the church are followed.
In Alaska any adult may perform one wedding a year. This makes getting married just a matter of a license, and a few friends. Another anomally of Alaska law: if you get a marriage license you are considered married even if the license never gets turned in as long as you can produce one person who witnessed the ceremony.
This last was discovered by friends of mine who failed to send in the license after the ceremony. Five years down the road, when everything went south, they were packing to go their separate ways and they found the, still unsent, license. The couple decided to just shred the unsent document and carry on since clearly the state had no record of the marriage they figured they could forgo the legal hassels and money for a divorce. They were shocked when, a few weeks later while finishing tying up loose ends over property matters, they discovered that even though the license was never received the state considered them married and a divorce would have to be obtained. As the Clerk of Courts said to them, " if not receiving a license in the mail meant people weren't married- half the people in this sate aren't married!"
This is even more crazy when you know that Alaska does not recognize Common-law marriages.
There are a lot of folks out there who don't belong to churches yet don't want to go the courthouse route. My first ceremony was for a couple where the guy was an inactive Jehovah's Witness. They wanted a JW ceremony, but they couldn't get married at the Kingdom Hall due to his status and the fact that his fiancee wasn't a JW. I did a little research into JW vows and did a great ceremony.
What a rush!
Was one of the vows -----
"I promise to remain calm, while she has the Mic on the right side of the Hall?"
No one's asked to see my certyificate or I.D. yet, and interestingly enough, the state doesn't check to see if the minsiters signing all of these marriage licenses are actually minsiters. Works fine.
Ive done three over the last 20 years or so with my ULC license, including my father to his childhood sweetheart one morning at the breakfast table.
So far I have only done people that I have known for awhile that I absolutely believe should be married. Its fun.
Having been through a quick marriage myself that was ill conceived and painful to get out of, I am wary of marrying people that I dont know, although I have been asked a few times. As much as I love being part of joining two together, it scares me to join the wrong two together knowing what pains that can bring.
One of the three marriages that I performed (which I thought would absolutely work) ended very badly. It still bugs me.
Do you do pre marital counselling or assessment before you agree to perform the weddings?
Congrats, to Oak and the rest of you licensed ministers!
...Having been through a quick marriage myself that was ill conceived and painful to get out of, I am wary of marrying people that I dont know, although I have been asked a few times. As much as I love being part of joining two together, it scares me to join the wrong two together knowing what pains that can bring.
One of the three marriages that I performed (which I thought would absolutely work) ended very badly. It still bugs me.
Do you do pre marital counselling or assessment before you agree to perform the weddings?
Mstar1 – you’ve got me thinking about the pre-marital counseling aspect of the job – and I’m being serious – imagine dealing with a couple one of which is in TWI. Not that a TWIt would ever think of going to anyone outside of TWI-clergy – but what if they did? I would be so tempted to tell them “you two will have a tough road ahead and may want to re-think this marriage thing.”
I remember when friends of mine had a judge come to their home and do their ceremony. It was, by far, the best wedding I've ever attended. And, I don't think judges will do that anymore.
I dunno, MStar. I think if two people are determined to get married, they're gonna get married even if it means going to the JP or Vegas.
Heck, I know some gay couples down here call themselves married and wear rings even though it isn't recognized.
Doesn't make divorce any less painful, either, though I do get what you're saying. I just don't know if I would consider myself (or anyone else for that matter) qualified to decide if someone was ready to get married or not. I mean, obviously, my ex and I seemed to be the perfect couple - mature and ready for the commitment at the time. *shrug*
Do you do pre marital counselling or assessment before you agree to perform the weddings?
No, but I've thought about making it part of the package. What stops me is that I don't think that I'm qualified to pass judgement on people's fitness to marry.
There is a bill in the Nebraska legislature to increase the marriage license fee from $15 to $100 unless the couple participate in 8 hours of counselling.
Oak is right...once the signatures are there and it's processed through the local county marriage whateverthehelltheycallit it is a legal marriage. A couple of my friends at work are ordained....I told them about Raf doing my ceremony....they were sad to have missed it....I told em that if they bring the booze, they could say any damned vows over Steve and I that they wanna!!! (even though I barely drink anymore)
On the other hand Oak....I am now qualified to do pre-marital counseling (well....almost) should you and I hook up for an online counseling/marriage package?????
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Eyesopen
That's hella cool Oak! I am assuming that these weddings are considered legal by the state? Good job doing the JW wedding, shows a lot of love for people.
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Oakspear
IMHO, even requiring someone to be "ordained" is an anachronism. Why not allow anyone to perform a wedding ceremony? In effect, that's what they do, since I've certianly not had any training or schooling, but I need the piece of paper to be legal.
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likeaneagle
Hey Oakie- I have always wanted to do this sort of thing..how do you advertize?..
here in the south, they have wedding directors. they usualy are amember of the church and their responsibilities are to oversee the wedding party and that the rules of the church are followed.
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templelady
In Alaska any adult may perform one wedding a year. This makes getting married just a matter of a license, and a few friends. Another anomally of Alaska law: if you get a marriage license you are considered married even if the license never gets turned in as long as you can produce one person who witnessed the ceremony.
This last was discovered by friends of mine who failed to send in the license after the ceremony. Five years down the road, when everything went south, they were packing to go their separate ways and they found the, still unsent, license. The couple decided to just shred the unsent document and carry on since clearly the state had no record of the marriage they figured they could forgo the legal hassels and money for a divorce. They were shocked when, a few weeks later while finishing tying up loose ends over property matters, they discovered that even though the license was never received the state considered them married and a divorce would have to be obtained. As the Clerk of Courts said to them, " if not receiving a license in the mail meant people weren't married- half the people in this sate aren't married!"
This is even more crazy when you know that Alaska does not recognize Common-law marriages.
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doojable
Cool Oak!
You've gotten to do something real good for some folks!
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Oakspear
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dmiller
Was one of the vows -----
"I promise to remain calm, while she has the Mic on the right side of the Hall?"
(Hey -- congrats!!)
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excathedra
that is really nice !!!!!!
i was particularly touched by the 11:00 p.m. wedding on their lawn
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Belle
I'm also "ordained" by ULC. Maybe I should put some ads out there.....
Do you provide a copy of your ordination or is just the fact that you are, in fact, ordained enough?
I'm sure you've made some very happy people with your services.
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Oakspear
No one's asked to see my certyificate or I.D. yet, and interestingly enough, the state doesn't check to see if the minsiters signing all of these marriage licenses are actually minsiters. Works fine.
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mstar1
Ive done three over the last 20 years or so with my ULC license, including my father to his childhood sweetheart one morning at the breakfast table.
So far I have only done people that I have known for awhile that I absolutely believe should be married. Its fun.
Having been through a quick marriage myself that was ill conceived and painful to get out of, I am wary of marrying people that I dont know, although I have been asked a few times. As much as I love being part of joining two together, it scares me to join the wrong two together knowing what pains that can bring.
One of the three marriages that I performed (which I thought would absolutely work) ended very badly. It still bugs me.
Do you do pre marital counselling or assessment before you agree to perform the weddings?
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T-Bone
Congrats, to Oak and the rest of you licensed ministers!
Mstar1 – you’ve got me thinking about the pre-marital counseling aspect of the job – and I’m being serious – imagine dealing with a couple one of which is in TWI. Not that a TWIt would ever think of going to anyone outside of TWI-clergy – but what if they did? I would be so tempted to tell them “you two will have a tough road ahead and may want to re-think this marriage thing.”
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TheHighWay
What a wonderful and unique service you offer!
I remember when friends of mine had a judge come to their home and do their ceremony. It was, by far, the best wedding I've ever attended. And, I don't think judges will do that anymore.
Keep up the good work!
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Belle
I dunno, MStar. I think if two people are determined to get married, they're gonna get married even if it means going to the JP or Vegas.
Heck, I know some gay couples down here call themselves married and wear rings even though it isn't recognized.
Doesn't make divorce any less painful, either, though I do get what you're saying. I just don't know if I would consider myself (or anyone else for that matter) qualified to decide if someone was ready to get married or not. I mean, obviously, my ex and I seemed to be the perfect couple - mature and ready for the commitment at the time. *shrug*
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Oakspear
There is a bill in the Nebraska legislature to increase the marriage license fee from $15 to $100 unless the couple participate in 8 hours of counselling.
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Cindy!
Oak is right...once the signatures are there and it's processed through the local county marriage whateverthehelltheycallit it is a legal marriage. A couple of my friends at work are ordained....I told them about Raf doing my ceremony....they were sad to have missed it....I told em that if they bring the booze, they could say any damned vows over Steve and I that they wanna!!! (even though I barely drink anymore)
On the other hand Oak....I am now qualified to do pre-marital counseling (well....almost) should you and I hook up for an online counseling/marriage package?????
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