confessions of a way baby

[minicorpse]

oh geez, where do i start? i was in TWI before i was even born. my reformed hippie parents met at a twig, got married in 1978 in the way woods, and had me a year later. i'm a little fuzzy when it comes to exact dates, but i think our family went WOW in '83, way down south. our WOW family were a bunch of jerks who also happened to have a jerk son-child molester. when i told my mother what was happening all she told me was to forget about it. i didn't, she did. thanks mom.

in '85 we began our residence at the indiana campus. F12 represent! i have mostly happy memories of our residence years, as i think most mini corps do. i think someone else on here mentioned having the chicken pox? i remember that very well. just loads of kids, always someone to play with and get into trouble with. (because getting in trouble wasn't such a big deal then). i started first grade at rome city and it seemed like my classes were full of way kids, all with the same crappy sack lunches. trail mix and those tiny little cans of pineapple juice. ugh. i would've been happy to stay in the mini corps forever if it weren't for the gawd awful boring fellowships; i was always trying to hide somewhere to get out of them. with the exception of the crafts portion, i was constantly bored and irritable. i was given my first pack of "retemory" cards in residence... "children, obey your parents in the lord, for this is right...ephesians 6:1" gee, i wonder why this is the only one i can remember?

after our two years we got sent to the north east where my P's were FCs.

i did not adjust well to the move away from the IC, i really loved it there and i missed all my friends terribly. every year i would count down to children's camp and ROA (did anyone else try to keep their wrist bands on all year? and then have your secular friends back home ask you why you were in the hospital?) i was just devastated to be out in the real world.

after a few years of moving and switching schools i started to get more and more difficult. emotionally i was a wreck and i began to notice this odd habit my parents had of putting TWI before me. of course it was right, we had a "god first" (or was it "LCM first") plaque sitting forever on the mantel to remind us, but i felt neglected none-the-less. it got to the point where the leadership were telling me to "renew my mind" about every 5 seconds. but i only got grumpier. 3 x week twigs were no blessing, and at 2+ hours a pop they took up so much of my time it is a real wonder i ever had time to do homework. not to mention all the sunday night "hook-ups" and other crap.

then in the early 90's my P's started getting a lot of .... from the leadership in our area. they were in debt because they bought a house and so of course they were getting grief for it. but i also knew that a lot of the problem was me. i had taken PFAL right when i turned 12 but always managed to get out of SIT. when i was a kid in the mini corps my brothers and i did it with no problem, just spitting out gibberish to everyone's seeming delight. when i got older, however, i was too self-conscious to fake it, even though i was sure everyone else was faking too. when called upon, they would just repeat the exact same gibberish as if they had it memorized. even to this day i can remember exactly how my mother SIT, "word" for "word". creepy.

it was the summer of '95, my parents finally sold our house, got out of debt, and were ready to move to our new assignment in ohio. then, right before we were about to leave for the ROA-- BAM! my P's got the most awful call from our L/BC-- they were being dropped from the corps. we were all baffled and i still don't exactly know what their reason was except that maybe it took my parents too long to get out of debt. or my dad missed to many meetings because of his job, it could have been anything. i was totally p'od because i didn't want to move out of that house or to ohio in the first place, so i felt completely betrayed by TWI. my parents were stubborn and decided to go ahead with the move anyway.

that was the year of the last ROA, though i had such a crappy time i don't think i ever wanted to go again anyway. as usual we were planning to stay in the family corps tent, but since they dropped my P's like the night before we left we didn't have time to make any other arrangements. they "mercifully" let us stay in the tent anyway, but acted like total jerks doing it and everyday some leadership would come by and discuss it all with my P's in front of everyone. it was completely demoralizing. then of course there were also my corps friends who treated me like i had the plague. i wasn't allowed to wear my corps nametag anymore and people were constantly comming up to remind me. argh.

after we moved my P's weren't FC's anymore, but we went fellowship as usual and the folks who ran it were pretty nice. they were from HQ but went back after a few months. i wish i could remember their names. then they were replaced by a bunch of total a-holes, whose names i do remember, but will keep to myself. it was the beginning of the end for me. i was in my 3rd year of high school and it was time for LCM's brand spanking new PFAL class (aka: ego trip). i didn't want to take it. my dad said i had to. it was total hell. when it came time at the end for us to all SIT i refused. the guy running it (also our FC) told me i was probably possessed by devil spirits and that i was why i was always causing problems. one night my mom and i were driving home and she was pleading with me to just SIT, just once, for her (so she could then go tell everyone i had done it probably), and if i didn't she claimed she was going to have to ground me. so i was grounded. it seemed like every time i went to twig our FC was always pointing out something that was wrong with me to everyone: my hair wasn't brushed, my jeans were torn (hey, it was the 90s, remember grunge?) i wasn't smiling enough, i didn't like hugging people (gee, i wonder why? can anyone say "trust issues"?). all the while his son could walk around like freakin' christ on earth with his butt hanging out of his jeans and no one said boo to him. only people involved with TWI understand what this kind of unrelenting criticism three times and week, for years on end does to to kid...

then my P's were put on "spiritual probation" and someone accused my dad of being a "homo"-- which is the most laughable thing i ever heard. my P's are already huge homophobes from all of LCM's "adam and eve, not adam and steve" B.S., so of course they didn't take it too well. i think it made my dad even more homophobic, if that's possible.

so we moved AGAIN. 3rd and final highschool. more angry. after a few months the P's started going to twig again, but i had had enough. i just couldn't understand why my parents wanted to be involved with a ministry that had repeatedly insulted them, publicly humiliated them, told them they didn't know how to raise their kids, and sent them packing all over the country for no good reason. yet they ate it up. TWI told my P's if i wasn't going to twigs i should be put out of the house. this was the one and only time my parents ever said no, but only because i was still and minor and in high school. by this time years of emotional turmoil and neglect had taken their toll, i was acutely depressed. so after i graduated HS i moved out and never looked back.

my P's are still in, sadly. it is such a slap in the face, really. we talk occasionally, once a month or so, yet they swear TWI has totally changed since LCM left (though they don't know or don't like to discuss the details). i see them a couple times a year. i'm sure TWI has told them to distance themselves from me, which is easy because i am far, far away in grad school (full scholarship! how's that for an atheist?) my brother and i are both in therapy now, which of course my parents also don't understand... but i'm finally starting to heal from all the .... i endured for 16 years.

whew!

[A la prochaine]

Mini-corpse,

Sheeshh....what a painful story. I read every word of it and my heart just broke. What a travesty.

I'm soooo glad you are in a good place in your life. You're in school and you've sought professional help.

Man, I hope someday your parents see what they have done to their own family (because of the insanity they've been taught and not so much that they willfully wanted to harm you or your brother) and leave that S**Thole ministry.

You seemed to have had a disdain for TWI from the get go and held onto to that. That was the healthy part I believe, yet of course, TWI deemed it OFF and a form of possession. What was black was white and white was black to them in soooo many instances.

I have a niece who's been pretty much IN all her life and still is in. Both her and her husband were MINI corpse as well. If they were to read this story, it might open their eyes and minds to some reality.. (but honestly I think that has to come from within).

thanks for being here.

Edited June 6, 2007 by A la prochaine

[Suda]

Welcome, MiniCorpse, and thanks for sharing your story. Sorry for your heartaches growing up twi. Glad you are taking care of those issues in therapy.

Have some coffee and a danish on me. Come visit us often!

Suda

[TheEvan]

What a devastating story. Thanks for sharing.

[act2]

Minicorpse,

I read every word also and just shook my head. I am so sorry for all the cr@p that you had to endure, but am thankful that you are in grad school and sought counselling.

I got 'in' as a teenager and stayed 19 years. That was bad enough. I can't imagine what you 'born in the way' kids thought as you grew up and moved around all the time.

Anyway, welcome to the GS Cafe.

Suda had already offered you coffe and a danish, so should keep you going till lunch!!!

Take care of yourself, ok?

[coolchef]

mini

welcome and thank you for shareing

gee God never did fosake his son

damn pity twi expects thier people too

i wish you luck with your endevors in this wonderful out of twi life

[minicorpse]

wow. thanks so much for all the sweet replies.

i think this site is such a great place to start recovering.

i've enjoyed reading everyone else's stories as well. it is so nice to not feel alone in this.

take care everyone!

[A la prochaine]

Mini Corpse,

That's right YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Everyone was pained by that organization and those who weren't just didn't stay long enough or are in big time DENIAL, IMO.

thanks for being here.

[excathedra]

(((((((((((( mini )))))))))))

you are an amazing individual

[TheHighWay]

minicorpse...

Thanks so much for sharing your story! You will never know how many other lives you will impact because you did... an amazing amount of people come here and read and learn and heal, and your story tells a side we don't hear as often: the kids' point of view.

I'm so sorry for what you went through, but so glad to hear you are making a great life for yourself. I hope the therapy helps you put all the crap behind you for good.

THW

[FreeAtLast]

Mini,

So glad you are seeing a counselor. I did the same and it really helped me piece my life back together. I wasn't born in the way but spent half of my childhood there, and most of my adult years. I am glad I got my kids out. My youngest doesn't even remember it. Stay in counseling and be proud that you stepped out and made something of yourself. Congrats on grad school.

[Bolshevik]

minicorpse,

*sigh*

F - twi.

I wasn't minicorps, but I believe I can totally relate.

B

[JavaJane]

Mini - you are not alone. Welcome to the cafe!

[Nottawayfer]

That is absolutely terrible. I am so sorry you had to endure that crap. No doubt your parents are scared to leave TWI because common sense would have told them to get out. I wish they could read your post.

Therapy will be good. There IS life after TWI, and you are young enough to get over all that crap and live the life you were meant to live. I hope for the best for you.

(((((MINICORPSE)))))

[tonto]

Hi mini c and welcome. We were in the 11th family corps and our son must be a couple of years younger than you. He also says he has good memories of his time in residence. We left twi at the end of '86 when we realized "the ministry" was unsalvageable. I am so sorry for you and your parents that they stayed in and I hope some day they can see their way out.

[Kit Sober]

((((((((((mini))))))))))

So glad to see you here :)

There is life outside of twi :)

Glad you have time to find yourself :)

Praying and hoping also for your P's. So glad they have you on the outside helping to shine the light of life for them :)

In hope,

[George Aar]

MC,

Mostly I guess I'll just say a "me too" to what everybody else has already posted.

It's so painful to read your story. All the needless hurt inflicted on you and the rest of the innocent kids.

all in the name of some sort of "sold-out" allegience to superstition. It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.

Best to you and your brother, and thanks for sharing your story...

[GrouchoMarxJr]

Mini...Welcome to the GreaseSpot..sit down, take off your shoes, sit a spell...

...There's nowhere on earth that folks can relate to you and understand as much as we do...You're amoung friends here and we are all willing to listen and extend our hearts to you...it's what we do...it's who we are...Welcome! :)

[smarter]

Mini,

There are way (sorry for the pun) too many people who can relate. Actually, just one is too many. Just want you to know that you are not alone.

[Dot Matrix]

Mini

I am so sorry for your years of pain and that your parents are still in. Thank God you had what it took to leave. I send you cyber love and pray for your total healing.

Dot

[DogLover]

MiniCorpse,

What a heart-wrenching story! Reading it made me realize how strong a person you must be to have survived all that, then have what it takes to be in grad school ... enjoy your time here at the Cafe and know that it IS very healing to be around people that believe you and know, at least to some extent, what you went through.

[doughboy]

Mini,

You wrote the story of my life almost perfectly...except I was F14. I was born in... Mini Corps... WOW in '85...same crap... same result, almost but I got my parents and me kicked out because they couldn't control me. What a happy day that was. Everything is great now. Glad to hear you're doing well. I hope you raised as much hell as I did. Childrens camp sneaking out toilet papering and panty raids...climbing the bell tower @ IC leaving kids stuck up there... building matress forts to jump on in the attic with tons of kids...getting spanked by everyone else's parents then going home to get spanked by your own(wait a minute...that sucked) Oh well some good times to off set a little of the B.S.

Edited June 25, 2007 by doughboy

[minicorpse]

doughboy! you know, as much as i like to wallow and mope about everything i endured a big reason why i come to this site is to read posts exactly like yours! i love remembering the good times we all had as kids at the IC, (even though some of the adults who ran the place were total a-holes). i love love loved children's camp! i thought it was even better than ROA, because it was just for kids (even though Gxxx B. jerk ran it). some of my happiest memories are of a million kids running around like crazy during "capture the flag" games. or when they would turn that whole hill into a gigantic slip-in-slide (and then sledding down it in the winter). getting totally creeped-out by all the cripts around uncle harry hill-- and who or what is buried in that big white thing anyway!? i could never get a straight answer... i loved sneaking into the gigantic walk-in freezer in the kitchens in the summer (and then getting chased out and/or spanked by staff and then dropping something totally disgusting into the already disgusting looking enormous tub of thousand island dressing. sorry all, but i still can't eat that stuff). getting lost in the sauer kraut tunnels... wait, what!!?? why why why, my god, was there so much sauer kraut?

i was definitely a trouble maker. i was always somewhere i shouldn't have been, getting into something. i never did get to go up to the tower, though i heard many rumors... i am totally jealous!

[AJern]

oh hell yea.. the tomb at the top.. that hill was on some other ish.. all the enclaves of tombs encompassing the outer shell of the hill.. man, I still have dreams about that place.. when junior corps would hide in the cubbies at the bottom and jump out at the mini corps.. remember the myth of the white man? The crazed mental patient that hid in the snow and would snatch unsuspecting kids coming down the fairway? I remember the alley and stealing random big wheels and joy riding, survival week was hell.. wading knee high and learning how to set up trout lines.. fire drills at 3-4am .. the basement, where we weren't allowed to mess with the pool tables.. casey at the bat pantomime ( i was the catcher) breakdancing in the hallway.. the peach and gong show.. guilting your parents into buying you a toy on a weekend pass because they've missed so much of your life.. feeling like the ish because you were friends with wa*ne Cl*p and you could sit at a staff table if you played your cards right and drink iced tea w SUGAR!!

There were definitely good memories mingled with the sour.. I had so many crushes it was ridiculous.. and of course that's all ROA and children's camp were for.. playing basketball, hooking up w/ girls from around the globe and eating wow burgers, cheetos, and ice cream.. finally being able to hang out at the top of the gazebo and smoke with the junior corps LOL.. skipping big top to pop wheelies in the auditorium parking lot.. I mean jesus christ the way was my life.. the people moreso the fundamentals of course. Otherwise, right now I would probably be another mindless drone trying to top the next man on his interpretation of tongues or intricacy in prayer intros LMAO.

Instead, I'm in the process of finding a good THERAPIST, continuing my daughter and son in a BAPTIST preschool, and attend a church service ONLY if I feel like it, and not have to get reemed out by some Vigo looking dude who can't even cuss right.. MALARKY!!

[Belle]

:eusa_clap:

I LOVE reading all your stories and memories!

Y'all are some tough, resilient and plucky individuals! Kudos to each one of you and thank you for sharing with the rest of us!

The next round is on me!