I'm curious..............I'm beginning to see someone who is 8yrs younger than myself and no I am not desperate, I've had my fair share of dates but no one with 8yrs difference between us. So far he seems to be a real sweetheart. Sometimes in my mind I wrestle with the thought about the age difference but the majority of the time I just enjoy him for who he is and not get wrapped up in the age thing. I think because in my day and time when a couple got together it was so drilled into our heads you dated someone close to your own age either wise it was almost considered taboo, also it was more acceptable for a man to date a lady quite a bit younger than himself than for a lady to date someone alot younger than her.
Any thoughts on this?
Cowgirl
Is he over the age of legal consent?
In that case, if somebody questions you, tell them to "MYFOB, eh"
Look on it on the bright side, too. If it works out, when you're old and gray, he will be the one changing your diaper, not the other way around!
The best marriage i ever saw was a good friend who in her late thirties married a 19 your old guy.
whooo hoo huh?
Well his parents loved her every day from the start of that relationship.
they had a very common insterest square dancing FREAKS! every night enjoyed and danced their life away.
the only problem was of course children as her late day determined that was not going to happen and he never ever bothered with that (he had 19 brothers and sisters!)
but they had foster kids and did so much for them and loves them all as their own.
Sometimes she would metion what about when she gets old she didnt want him to have to care for her elderly body when they could no longer dance but it never stopped them for a moment.
sadly he died young at age of 46 of cancer that got him in less than 3 moths after 25 years of the happiest marriage i ever ever saw. they were always doing something dancing . helping being together every moment in time.
she was just stunned and in her 60's now alone looking for a young guy ( I laugh at her) I tell her it isnt the same there will never be another guy like that and she isnt 30 something anymore but she is trying! 50 is her very limit now and she will consider only if he is ehalthy and still working etc.. it is funny funny.
she was dam near consider a child molester when they got married but the life they had was absolutely fabulous .
they had no regrets.
do what you want in life ya only go around once and you can not predict what tommorrow will bring.
Yup, love doesn't come along nearly enough and being age similiar promises nothing. If your partner makes you happy so what if you have to make some accomodations at some point. My husband died when he was 35, life offers no gurantees.
But then my step mom is younger than me, so what do I know?
I don't think age difference is a problem, as long as you're both adults. I would question if there is a pattern of him always dating older women, but I would question any pattern, not just age. Like height, or race, or whatever.
I think we as women today take care of ourselves, so we don't need an older man to provide for us, like our mothers did. We can choose someone who will be a better companion, not just someone who will be a better wage earner.
Well, I am 10 years and a couple months older than my husband. When we got married, I was 32 going on 22 and he was 22 going on 37. The big key was his maturity vs. my not exactly immaturity, but I have never acted my age and still don't today. We have a lot in common. We both love God and believe strongly. We both like travel and gardening. We both love the dogs we have and have had in our lives.
Now that is not to say we are clones of each other. I watch TV a lot more than he does. I don't think for a minute I would enjoy teaching any grade, whilst he is an excellent high school business teacher with a great sense of humor, and an absolutely deadly "teacher look" (think Chloe on "24".) He loves every minute of teaching, and I would be in prison for homicide if I spent ten minutes with those little angels.
We've been married 30 years, and took our vows seriously, and meant them every word.
My step mom that I mentioned...she's 45 and my dad is 71 now. It took some getting used to for alot of reasons, but they have been together for 12 plus years now, which is pretty good.
It's very possible she'll be caring for him and it looks like that is in the near future if he doesn't just close his eyes in his deer blind some November. Then again, who's to say he won't have to care for her.
Who can say what two people will be good together. It's obvious that there are no 'rules' about same age relationships.
The year we married some chick who had been in Fellow Laborers with both of us came up to me and said, "I can't believe Mr. Garden married YOU!" But he did and I am so thankful. My husband's family didn't know for years how old I really am. Boy were they surprised when they found out!
I dated women as much as 12 years younger than me and as much as 15 years older than me. (I was in my 30's at the time.) No big deal. Of course, my wife and I are less than a year apart.
Well I have dated younger and older and I personally prefer older or within 5 years. But that's my experience, I just find that too much younger and we are in the early 30's and they still seem to have some maturity issues. 8 years isn't that much different though depending on how old you are. I dated a guy 11 years younger and I finally had to get out of that relationship. I got tired of the immaturity, I didn't think I would find that in a 30+ year old man but it was there. It took a few months before I started to see it but once I did I had to break free. I didn't want his little tantrums to be something my kids saw as acceptable and I didn't want his reckless abandon to be emulated either.
More important than age is trust, respect and open, honest communication - especially learning what we did wrong that caused previous relationships to fail.
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markomalley
Is he over the age of legal consent?
In that case, if somebody questions you, tell them to "MYFOB, eh"
Look on it on the bright side, too. If it works out, when you're old and gray, he will be the one changing your diaper, not the other way around!
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Cowgirl
Mark..........
I'll make a wager with you.......you'll be in "depends" and drooling way before me !!
Cowgirl
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WordWolf
Yes.
I'm aware of someone who thinks 20 years isn't that big a difference, so long as it's in the other
direction. Personally, I think 20 years in either direction is a big difference.
Under a decade, however, I'm a lot more philosophical.
I forget where I heard this, but I'm paraphrasing heavily.
The world can sometimes be a hard, cold place. If you found someone that things work with,
and there's something like a few year's difference between you,
or how you met or whatever doesn't match a storybook or the expectations of others,
what does that matter?
It's your relationship, and you have to do what works for you.
Anyone else is welcome to concern themselves with their own relationships.
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markomalley
So how do you plan on collecting?
LOL
If I end up in "depends" I will be very disappointed. (What's the tag line on "My Generation?")
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pond
The best marriage i ever saw was a good friend who in her late thirties married a 19 your old guy.
whooo hoo huh?
Well his parents loved her every day from the start of that relationship.
they had a very common insterest square dancing FREAKS! every night enjoyed and danced their life away.
the only problem was of course children as her late day determined that was not going to happen and he never ever bothered with that (he had 19 brothers and sisters!)
but they had foster kids and did so much for them and loves them all as their own.
Sometimes she would metion what about when she gets old she didnt want him to have to care for her elderly body when they could no longer dance but it never stopped them for a moment.
sadly he died young at age of 46 of cancer that got him in less than 3 moths after 25 years of the happiest marriage i ever ever saw. they were always doing something dancing . helping being together every moment in time.
she was just stunned and in her 60's now alone looking for a young guy ( I laugh at her) I tell her it isnt the same there will never be another guy like that and she isnt 30 something anymore but she is trying! 50 is her very limit now and she will consider only if he is ehalthy and still working etc.. it is funny funny.
she was dam near consider a child molester when they got married but the life they had was absolutely fabulous .
they had no regrets.
do what you want in life ya only go around once and you can not predict what tommorrow will bring.
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George Aar
I think 8 years is a big difference if one is 12 and the other is 20 (there's also some legal ramifications).
But if you're talking 40 and 48, pfffff...
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Shellon
Yup, love doesn't come along nearly enough and being age similiar promises nothing. If your partner makes you happy so what if you have to make some accomodations at some point. My husband died when he was 35, life offers no gurantees.
But then my step mom is younger than me, so what do I know?
Life is too short, dance with who you want.
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VeganXTC
I don't think age difference is a problem, as long as you're both adults. I would question if there is a pattern of him always dating older women, but I would question any pattern, not just age. Like height, or race, or whatever.
I think we as women today take care of ourselves, so we don't need an older man to provide for us, like our mothers did. We can choose someone who will be a better companion, not just someone who will be a better wage earner.
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Watered Garden
Well, I am 10 years and a couple months older than my husband. When we got married, I was 32 going on 22 and he was 22 going on 37. The big key was his maturity vs. my not exactly immaturity, but I have never acted my age and still don't today. We have a lot in common. We both love God and believe strongly. We both like travel and gardening. We both love the dogs we have and have had in our lives.
Now that is not to say we are clones of each other. I watch TV a lot more than he does. I don't think for a minute I would enjoy teaching any grade, whilst he is an excellent high school business teacher with a great sense of humor, and an absolutely deadly "teacher look" (think Chloe on "24".) He loves every minute of teaching, and I would be in prison for homicide if I spent ten minutes with those little angels.
We've been married 30 years, and took our vows seriously, and meant them every word.
Hope this helps.
WG
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Shellon
:) watered garden
My step mom that I mentioned...she's 45 and my dad is 71 now. It took some getting used to for alot of reasons, but they have been together for 12 plus years now, which is pretty good.
It's very possible she'll be caring for him and it looks like that is in the near future if he doesn't just close his eyes in his deer blind some November. Then again, who's to say he won't have to care for her.
Who can say what two people will be good together. It's obvious that there are no 'rules' about same age relationships.
Edited by Shellon Fockler-NorthLink to comment
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Watered Garden
Yup. If it works, it works.
The year we married some chick who had been in Fellow Laborers with both of us came up to me and said, "I can't believe Mr. Garden married YOU!" But he did and I am so thankful. My husband's family didn't know for years how old I really am. Boy were they surprised when they found out!
WG
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GeorgeStGeorge
I dated women as much as 12 years younger than me and as much as 15 years older than me. (I was in my 30's at the time.) No big deal. Of course, my wife and I are less than a year apart.
George
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FreeAtLast
Well I have dated younger and older and I personally prefer older or within 5 years. But that's my experience, I just find that too much younger and we are in the early 30's and they still seem to have some maturity issues. 8 years isn't that much different though depending on how old you are. I dated a guy 11 years younger and I finally had to get out of that relationship. I got tired of the immaturity, I didn't think I would find that in a 30+ year old man but it was there. It took a few months before I started to see it but once I did I had to break free. I didn't want his little tantrums to be something my kids saw as acceptable and I didn't want his reckless abandon to be emulated either.
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coolchef
my dad was 9 years older than mom
it was the most happy union i will ever see
in thier 80's they still walked hand in hand
dad opened doors
and always walked on the curb side
he was a gentleman and she was a lady in spite of neither one of them havind a high school diploma
age is not that important
damn i miss my folks
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Free Soul
My last ex was 8 yrs. younger. It depends on if he's looking for an equal partner, or a sugar mama.
Bottom line - do NOT support able-bodied men!
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waysider
If your date looks you in the eye and asks in earnest,"Is it true Paul McCartney had a band before Wings?".
you may want to rethink the arrangement.
Have fun while you can-----------Fate's an awful thing.
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excathedra
well sometimes people do it both ways
and neither work
ha
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polar bear
Waysider that was good. Yep you need to be interested in music of the same generation.
Aside from this my wife is nine years older than I and we are going on 25 years. Sometimes it's hard but it's still great.
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Belle
More important than age is trust, respect and open, honest communication - especially learning what we did wrong that caused previous relationships to fail.
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JavaJane
My husband is several years younger than me. It's worked out very well. Our maturity levels are the same.
Besides, Cowgirl, it's the fashionable thing to do! You can join the "Cougar" club with me!
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ChasUFarley
I echo what others here have said about maturity levels.
I'm 8 years younger than hubby and far more immature.
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likeaneagle
dating a younger one doesnt sound appealing..I think only you know the real answer..
Ive heard that women tend to exceed men in maturity by 3 yrs..so this means your more like 21 yrs older than him.
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Priscilla
I know this is opposite of what you are involved in Cowgirl, but Aquilla and I have a 17 yr. difference.
He is older. It has never made a difference.
Respect and love are what are important. Sure he likes Jazz, and I like rock and roll, but it probably would be
like that if we were the same age!
We have been together for 38 wonderful years, and I don't regret a moment!
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coolchef
good for you
that is wonderful!
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