You eagerly join their leadership training program, thinking it's to learn to be God's best by training with God's best, only to find yourself working menial jobs, falling asleep in mind-numbing classes, and eating food you wouldn't fed your dogs.
You actually look forward to piling on every piece of clothing you have to stand on the freeway in the freezing cold with your thumb out to hitchhike to another location that you must be to in a certain amount of time or face the wrath of leadership.
You find yourself abducted on the way to one of these blessed locations and having unspeakable things done to you, only to refuse to file a police report because you have to get to where you are going or face the wrath of leadership.
You return from this experience, only to be told by leadership that you have failed due to lack of believing, and they will decide whether or not to kick you out. You then spend the next year and a half on pins and needles, never receiving counseling for the experience but instead feeling like God's worst among God's best.
You finally near the end of this training experience, only to be told two months before graduation that you are truly worthless and have no business being there, causing you to run away in shame and leaving all your belongings and "friends" behind.
You then spend the next twenty years surviving and attempting to build a life (albeit one outside the protection of the household) all the while knowing you're a worthless piece of crap as a human being-they said so, so it must be true). You make no close friends and build no lasting relationships-after all, who would want to be involved with damaged goods and a worthless piece of crap?
You then discover Greasespot Cafe, and discover it was all a lie-and now you don't know anymore who you are.
Yes-the joys of being in a cult.
Topoftheworld-----My heart breaks for you. I guess you realize by now that the true worthless pieces of crap are the sadistic bastards that made you feel that way.
You eagerly join their leadership training program, thinking it's to learn to be God's best by training with God's best, only to find yourself working menial jobs, falling asleep in mind-numbing classes, and eating food you wouldn't fed your dogs.
You actually look forward to piling on every piece of clothing you have to stand on the freeway in the freezing cold with your thumb out to hitchhike to another location that you must be to in a certain amount of time or face the wrath of leadership.
You find yourself abducted on the way to one of these blessed locations and having unspeakable things done to you, only to refuse to file a police report because you have to get to where you are going or face the wrath of leadership.
You return from this experience, only to be told by leadership that you have failed due to lack of believing, and they will decide whether or not to kick you out. You then spend the next year and a half on pins and needles, never receiving counseling for the experience but instead feeling like God's worst among God's best.
You finally near the end of this training experience, only to be told two months before graduation that you are truly worthless and have no business being there, causing you to run away in shame and leaving all your belongings and "friends" behind.
You then spend the next twenty years surviving and attempting to build a life (albeit one outside the protection of the household) all the while knowing you're a worthless piece of crap as a human being-they said so, so it must be true). You make no close friends and build no lasting relationships-after all, who would want to be involved with damaged goods and a worthless piece of crap?
You then discover Greasespot Cafe, and discover it was all a lie-and now you don't know anymore who you are.
Someone recently quoted topoftheworld’s post on another thread and I kept thinking about it all week – I missed it when it was first posted in 2007 . This one sentence really got to me:
“You find yourself abducted on the way to one of these blessed locations and having unspeakable things done to you, only to refuse to file a police report because you have to get to where you are going or face the wrath of leadership.”
You know you’re in a cult when leadership is viewed as a law unto themselves…cult-leaders certainly behave that way, acting as totally independent of the laws of the land…Something is out of whack when cult-leaders get demand more respect and fear than the long arm of the law (the broad, far-reaching power and influence of the police and legal system).
When you reprove yourself for saying Merry Christmas because it was a Catholic abused inaccurate holiday they usurped to allow pagan god worship while gaining followers.
You know you’re in a harmful and controlling cult when leadership endeavors to micromanage your faith, your social life, your finances, and all of your relationships with their leave-no-stone-unturned-invasive-strategy.
You know you’re in a pseudo-Christian cult when leadership endeavors to take the place of the absent Christ through the lordship of their Pharisaism.
You know you’re in a life-dominating-morally-depraved-cult when leadership behaves as if they are above the laws of the land – being a law unto themselves.
You know you’re in a life-sucking-money-grubbing-cult when they tell you that the truth will set you free – but the truth itself is not free – because there’s a minimum required donation for the stupid class.
Multiple choice question – worth 4 Rock of Ages meal tickets
You know you’re in a cult when ____
A. Your Twig coordinator reproves you for a slip of the tongue when you said, “I sponsor someone in the way cult.”
B. Your Twig coordinator finds out about your Christmas bonus and reminds you to abundantly share from that too.
C. Your Twig coordinator asks you to teach something new and exciting out of The Blue Book.
D. Your Twig coordinator assigns you to under-shepherd the new person he witnessed to on the street and suggests you have him do some odd jobs around your home so he can earn money for the class.
E. Your Twig coordinator informs you that God is going to bless you big time for letting the branch use your home for the next PFAL class.
F. Your Twig coordinator thanks you profusely for covering the last three auto-mechanic’s bills on his clunker.
G. Before making any big decisions you always check with your Twig coordinator.
H. Sometimes you feel guilty for wishing your Twig coordinator would drop dead.
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waysider
You know you are in a cult when:
You hear a commercial about a "sense of urgency" and you listen intently, only to discover it's another advertisement for bladder control.
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doojable
You are willing to insist that the reason no one else will touch the food you're eating is because they're possessed.
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nyunknown
You know you are in a cult when:
You hear a commercial about a "sense of urgency" and you listen intently, only to discover it's another advertisement for bladder control.
I'll drink to that!
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coolchef
but you must remember the 2 drink limit!
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polar bear
You are told to get on top of your wife and it doesn't have anything to do with sex.
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smarter
Topoftheworld-----My heart breaks for you. I guess you realize by now that the true worthless pieces of crap are the sadistic bastards that made you feel that way.
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GrouchoMarxJr
You know you're in a cult if you suddenly notice that your eyes have become glassy...
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doojable
Or if your leader has one glass eye....
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GrouchoMarxJr
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doojable
;)
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nyunknown
You know you are in a cult when your family turns against you.
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waysider
And you see that as proof that the adversary is trying to stop you from moving the Word.
SHEESH!!
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coolchef
you know you're in twi when you turn against your family
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Watered Garden
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frank123lol
You know when you are in a cult when giving money to them is all they want
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T-Bone
topoftheworld posted May 18, 2007:
“You know you're in a cult when........
You eagerly join their leadership training program, thinking it's to learn to be God's best by training with God's best, only to find yourself working menial jobs, falling asleep in mind-numbing classes, and eating food you wouldn't fed your dogs.
You actually look forward to piling on every piece of clothing you have to stand on the freeway in the freezing cold with your thumb out to hitchhike to another location that you must be to in a certain amount of time or face the wrath of leadership.
You find yourself abducted on the way to one of these blessed locations and having unspeakable things done to you, only to refuse to file a police report because you have to get to where you are going or face the wrath of leadership.
You return from this experience, only to be told by leadership that you have failed due to lack of believing, and they will decide whether or not to kick you out. You then spend the next year and a half on pins and needles, never receiving counseling for the experience but instead feeling like God's worst among God's best.
You finally near the end of this training experience, only to be told two months before graduation that you are truly worthless and have no business being there, causing you to run away in shame and leaving all your belongings and "friends" behind.
You then spend the next twenty years surviving and attempting to build a life (albeit one outside the protection of the household) all the while knowing you're a worthless piece of crap as a human being-they said so, so it must be true). You make no close friends and build no lasting relationships-after all, who would want to be involved with damaged goods and a worthless piece of crap?
You then discover Greasespot Cafe, and discover it was all a lie-and now you don't know anymore who you are.
Yes-the joys of being in a cult.”
from: topoftheworld's original post
= = = = = =
Someone recently quoted topoftheworld’s post on another thread and I kept thinking about it all week – I missed it when it was first posted in 2007 . This one sentence really got to me:
“You find yourself abducted on the way to one of these blessed locations and having unspeakable things done to you, only to refuse to file a police report because you have to get to where you are going or face the wrath of leadership.”
You know you’re in a cult when leadership is viewed as a law unto themselves…cult-leaders certainly behave that way, acting as totally independent of the laws of the land…Something is out of whack when cult-leaders
Edited by T-Bonegetdemand more respect and fear than the long arm of the law (the broad, far-reaching power and influence of the police and legal system).revision to correct link
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chockfull
When you reprove yourself for saying Merry Christmas because it was a Catholic abused inaccurate holiday they usurped to allow pagan god worship while gaining followers.
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chockfull
Corollary: you know you’ve left a cult when your family is now close to you once again.
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T-Bone
You know you’re in a harmful and controlling cult when leadership endeavors to micromanage your faith, your social life, your finances, and all of your relationships with their leave-no-stone-unturned-invasive-strategy.
You know you’re in a pseudo-Christian cult when leadership endeavors to take the place of the absent Christ through the lordship of their Pharisaism.
You know you’re in a life-dominating-morally-depraved-cult when leadership behaves as if they are above the laws of the land – being a law unto themselves.
You know you’re in a life-sucking-money-grubbing-cult when they tell you that the truth will set you free – but the truth itself is not free – because there’s a minimum required donation for the stupid class.
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waysider
You know you're in a cult when you start looking for ways to justify that what you're in is not a cult.
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T-Bone
Multiple choice question – worth 4 Rock of Ages meal tickets
You know you’re in a cult when ____
A. Your Twig coordinator reproves you for a slip of the tongue when you said, “I sponsor someone in the way cult.”
B. Your Twig coordinator finds out about your Christmas bonus and reminds you to abundantly share from that too.
C. Your Twig coordinator asks you to teach something new and exciting out of The Blue Book.
D. Your Twig coordinator assigns you to under-shepherd the new person he witnessed to on the street and suggests you have him do some odd jobs around your home so he can earn money for the class.
E. Your Twig coordinator informs you that God is going to bless you big time for letting the branch use your home for the next PFAL class.
F. Your Twig coordinator thanks you profusely for covering the last three auto-mechanic’s bills on his clunker.
G. Before making any big decisions you always check with your Twig coordinator.
H. Sometimes you feel guilty for wishing your Twig coordinator would drop dead.
I. All of the above.
J. All without exception
Edited by T-BoneK. All without distinction
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