I thought that the most bizarre lunch "sharing" is when LCM came in cursing and saying how the adversary was battling him so hard. He ordered that no one was allowed to discuss anything at the lunch tables, but that he wanted people to line up at the microphone and quote a scripture - not to quote one that has already been quoted. God help you if it was misquoted. Somehow, he tried to make the rest of the Staff feel unspiritual since we weren't having a bad spiritual day as he was.
Anyone at "HQ" at that time? Anyone remember that day of rejoicing?
I thought that the most bizarre lunch "sharing" is when LCM came in cursing and saying how the adversary was battling him so hard. He ordered that no one was allowed to discuss anything at the lunch tables, but that he wanted people to line up at the microphone and quote a scripture - not to quote one that has already been quoted. God help you if it was misquoted. Somehow, he tried to make the rest of the Staff feel unspiritual since we weren't having a bad spiritual day as he was.
Anyone at "HQ" at that time? Anyone remember that day of rejoicing?
OMG yes!!! THAT was terrible!! Every time I think about things we endured from that man, I wonder what in the H was I thinking????
I remember Mrs. Owens sharing at the podium one day about not hitting your kids. The next day Ir* B*rger got up at the poidum to basically nullify everything Mrs O had said.
But daily rantings from LCM was the WORST!!! It was particularly hard when you sat at thhead table because he would be stewing about dang the whole time while you tried to eat with them. It was not a nice place to be, and if there was an empty seat at the head tabel, SOME ONE had to sit there. Gawd forbid. I started saying "NO!" when I was asked to sit at the head table. I would say I already had plans to eat with someone.
Not to derail, but Chas, I GOTTA hear that story!!!
I can remember sitting through plenty of lcm's dinnertime rants but frankly, they have all blurred together. None more distinguishable than any other. Staff rant #1, don't work hard enough: check. Staff rant #2, aren't spiritual enough, check. Field Corps rant #1, too distracted by the world, check. Field Corps rant #2, have their heads spiritually up their rear ends (see rant #1), check. In-Rez Corps rant #1, don't know our retemories, check. In-Rez Corps rant #2, on time means corps time, check. Paranoia rant #1, believers communicating with copouts, check. Paranoia rant #2, spiritual weakness providing open door for devil spirit attacks against the ministry (and Craig personally), see rant #1, check. Paranoia rant #3, devil spirits afraid of men who wear guns, check.
Instructions: pick your favorite rant, pick something out the window or on the birthday board to stare at until you want to scream (or yawn) then change focus... window... board... head table... window... board... head table... OR, simply stare solemnly down at the table in front of you to make those around you think you are taking everything in and pondering it in a very serious manner.
That was how I handled most of the dinnertime rants.
I can tell you that being a server at the head table was no fun, either... You had to try to coerce folks from the crowd to sit up there when there were empty chairs, and most didn't want to... then, you had to know all the likes and dislikes of the royalty, and god help you if you got it wrong! And you had to know who was going to arrive at which door and when so you could open it for them just as they arrived. (wouldn't want them to wait, or better yet use the public door like everyone else). Nevermind that you were supposed to be getting the food and drinks ready. And if Craig went on a rant and food started getting cold, somehow it was our fault for not timing things right. And of course, we were charged with setting the spiritual environment of the head table... who knows how we could help bless the mog if we greeted him graciously enough?
I was always in condemnation over that stupid job... it completely stressed me out trying so hard not to blow it every day, but I knew I was supposed to be extra-blessed for being around the leadership. Good grief, Charlie Brown.
The funniest part to me, though, was that all the dishes and silverware at HQ went through a heavy-duty steam-clean scald as they were cleaned. Killed all the germs, dontcha know. But it also left spots. So at the head table, we took a slightly dampened rag and polished everything. Granted we did it with freshly-washed hands and freshly-washed cloths, but I still felt like we were dirtying up the head table dinnerware, lol.
The funniest part to me, though, was that all the dishes and silverware at HQ went through a heavy-duty steam-clean scald as they were cleaned. Killed all the germs, dontcha know. But it also left spots. So at the head table, we took a slightly dampened rag and polished everything. Granted we did it with freshly-washed hands and freshly-washed cloths, but I still felt like we were dirtying up the head table dinnerware, lol.
Hee hee... I always felt the same way when we would get the talk about getting your paper towels from the dispenser before you washed your hands after using the bathroom... So you wouldn't drip water across the sink and get it dirty. Then, after you dried your hands with the DIRTY TOWEL you got directly AFTER YOU USED THE POTTY you should use that to wipe up any water marks you made on the sink.
If you think it through, you just end up putting your potty germs you washed off your hands back on your hands and then spread them all over the sink, thereby spreading them to every single person who used the bathroom after you!
And did I tell you about how I ruined Donna Martindale's birthday one year?
Yes, I'm sure she remembers this one.... Well, since it was her birthday, a day more holy than Easter or Christmas, but not as holy as Cinco d Mayo or St. Patrick's Day, a bunch of her biggest fans were all saving up seats near the head table. I was asked if my husband and I would join a group at a table - it happened to be in the area where we usually sat anyhow, so I saved us seats. I didn't get to see hubby before lunch and then got pulled out to usher at the last minute.
Next thing I knew, hubby was sitting at a different table and had saved me a seat. ROT-ROW... Now I had 2 empty seats to fill near the head table and there was no one left to seat them. The head of food services (IR@) came up to me in a huff and ripped me in front of a couple of tables about these EMPTY SEATS... I mean... no one was bleeding, right? You'd have thought Christ was never going to come back now because *I* had NOT filled 2 freaking chairs near the head table... IR@ went almost purple yelling at me (and I'm usually pretty soft about these things - I don't hold together well when I get yelled at, but he was so short and so purple it was hard not to laugh...) What was up with that?! Yeah... I bet Donna stays awake every night thinking about that one...
I remember working "head table" at HQ last year in res. must've been 80 or 81. Don't remember a whole lot except that one of the perks was that you got to eat after lunch and pretty much had access to anything in the kitchen fridge.
I remember at Emporia I used to like when whoever would go on and on after lunch because it beat working on grounds or busting rocks with sledge hammers. The longer they talked the less time for afternoon jobs...
The funniest thing I remember happening at lunch was when one of our "9th Corps brethren" (Rus. C. I believe) stood up and said he had something to "lift". He was given permission (I think it was George H. who was running the show) to come up and "lift" what was on his heart. Instead of coming up to the mic he went right over to one of the 9th corps girl's chair and lifted it high up in the air. It was hilarious. Of course George didn't think so and he got reamed. But it was well worth it.
Another funny lunch time at Emporia happened probably the 1st week of 9th corps in res. One of the mucky mucks (I can't remember if it was LCM or George H.) was rambling on after lunch and Martha S. proceeded to make herself comfortable by pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. George got this pained look on his face and asked in a very strained voice what she thought she was doing. "Just having a smoke.", the volume got a little louder as he asked, "Well, do you see any ashtrays on the table?". "No", she replied, "that's okay, I'll just use my plate." After that , the volume exploded, another reaming, but worth the price of admission.
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Patriot
I thought that the most bizarre lunch "sharing" is when LCM came in cursing and saying how the adversary was battling him so hard. He ordered that no one was allowed to discuss anything at the lunch tables, but that he wanted people to line up at the microphone and quote a scripture - not to quote one that has already been quoted. God help you if it was misquoted. Somehow, he tried to make the rest of the Staff feel unspiritual since we weren't having a bad spiritual day as he was.
Anyone at "HQ" at that time? Anyone remember that day of rejoicing?
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JavaJane
Or someone not your wife... preferably young and cute....
And a good reason for a motorcoach, complete with dirver, huh?
SAFETY FIRST!!!
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ChasUFarley
Working in Food Service, I cringed when he'd get on that stage and get rolling about something...
FOR HOURS...
And my only memory was, "I gotta stay awake. I gotta stay awake. I gotta stay awake. "
Followed by, "We're not going be ready for supper if this keeps up!"
Seriously...
But hey, if they wanted to pay me $2.99/hour to sit and listen... why not. That's ABS well spent, isn't it?
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Nottawayfer
OMG yes!!! THAT was terrible!! Every time I think about things we endured from that man, I wonder what in the H was I thinking????
I remember Mrs. Owens sharing at the podium one day about not hitting your kids. The next day Ir* B*rger got up at the poidum to basically nullify everything Mrs O had said.
But daily rantings from LCM was the WORST!!! It was particularly hard when you sat at thhead table because he would be stewing about dang the whole time while you tried to eat with them. It was not a nice place to be, and if there was an empty seat at the head tabel, SOME ONE had to sit there. Gawd forbid. I started saying "NO!" when I was asked to sit at the head table. I would say I already had plans to eat with someone.
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ChasUFarley
Notta -
Your story about the head table... I can only imagine...
Did I tell you the one about how I single-handedly ruined Donna's birthday lunch one day?
And it was all because of where I sat... go figger...
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TheHighWay
Not to derail, but Chas, I GOTTA hear that story!!!
I can remember sitting through plenty of lcm's dinnertime rants but frankly, they have all blurred together. None more distinguishable than any other. Staff rant #1, don't work hard enough: check. Staff rant #2, aren't spiritual enough, check. Field Corps rant #1, too distracted by the world, check. Field Corps rant #2, have their heads spiritually up their rear ends (see rant #1), check. In-Rez Corps rant #1, don't know our retemories, check. In-Rez Corps rant #2, on time means corps time, check. Paranoia rant #1, believers communicating with copouts, check. Paranoia rant #2, spiritual weakness providing open door for devil spirit attacks against the ministry (and Craig personally), see rant #1, check. Paranoia rant #3, devil spirits afraid of men who wear guns, check.
Instructions: pick your favorite rant, pick something out the window or on the birthday board to stare at until you want to scream (or yawn) then change focus... window... board... head table... window... board... head table... OR, simply stare solemnly down at the table in front of you to make those around you think you are taking everything in and pondering it in a very serious manner.
That was how I handled most of the dinnertime rants.
I can tell you that being a server at the head table was no fun, either... You had to try to coerce folks from the crowd to sit up there when there were empty chairs, and most didn't want to... then, you had to know all the likes and dislikes of the royalty, and god help you if you got it wrong! And you had to know who was going to arrive at which door and when so you could open it for them just as they arrived. (wouldn't want them to wait, or better yet use the public door like everyone else). Nevermind that you were supposed to be getting the food and drinks ready. And if Craig went on a rant and food started getting cold, somehow it was our fault for not timing things right. And of course, we were charged with setting the spiritual environment of the head table... who knows how we could help bless the mog if we greeted him graciously enough?
I was always in condemnation over that stupid job... it completely stressed me out trying so hard not to blow it every day, but I knew I was supposed to be extra-blessed for being around the leadership. Good grief, Charlie Brown.
The funniest part to me, though, was that all the dishes and silverware at HQ went through a heavy-duty steam-clean scald as they were cleaned. Killed all the germs, dontcha know. But it also left spots. So at the head table, we took a slightly dampened rag and polished everything. Granted we did it with freshly-washed hands and freshly-washed cloths, but I still felt like we were dirtying up the head table dinnerware, lol.
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JavaJane
Hee hee... I always felt the same way when we would get the talk about getting your paper towels from the dispenser before you washed your hands after using the bathroom... So you wouldn't drip water across the sink and get it dirty. Then, after you dried your hands with the DIRTY TOWEL you got directly AFTER YOU USED THE POTTY you should use that to wipe up any water marks you made on the sink.
If you think it through, you just end up putting your potty germs you washed off your hands back on your hands and then spread them all over the sink, thereby spreading them to every single person who used the bathroom after you!
So much for all the cleaning!
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ChasUFarley
This is a copy and paste from another thread - I think it was called "Silly Reproof" or something:
-----------------------------------------------------
And did I tell you about how I ruined Donna Martindale's birthday one year?
Yes, I'm sure she remembers this one.... Well, since it was her birthday, a day more holy than Easter or Christmas, but not as holy as Cinco d Mayo or St. Patrick's Day, a bunch of her biggest fans were all saving up seats near the head table. I was asked if my husband and I would join a group at a table - it happened to be in the area where we usually sat anyhow, so I saved us seats. I didn't get to see hubby before lunch and then got pulled out to usher at the last minute.
Next thing I knew, hubby was sitting at a different table and had saved me a seat. ROT-ROW... Now I had 2 empty seats to fill near the head table and there was no one left to seat them. The head of food services (IR@) came up to me in a huff and ripped me in front of a couple of tables about these EMPTY SEATS... I mean... no one was bleeding, right? You'd have thought Christ was never going to come back now because *I* had NOT filled 2 freaking chairs near the head table... IR@ went almost purple yelling at me (and I'm usually pretty soft about these things - I don't hold together well when I get yelled at, but he was so short and so purple it was hard not to laugh...) What was up with that?! Yeah... I bet Donna stays awake every night thinking about that one...
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wrdsandwrks
I remember working "head table" at HQ last year in res. must've been 80 or 81. Don't remember a whole lot except that one of the perks was that you got to eat after lunch and pretty much had access to anything in the kitchen fridge.
I remember at Emporia I used to like when whoever would go on and on after lunch because it beat working on grounds or busting rocks with sledge hammers. The longer they talked the less time for afternoon jobs...
The funniest thing I remember happening at lunch was when one of our "9th Corps brethren" (Rus. C. I believe) stood up and said he had something to "lift". He was given permission (I think it was George H. who was running the show) to come up and "lift" what was on his heart. Instead of coming up to the mic he went right over to one of the 9th corps girl's chair and lifted it high up in the air. It was hilarious. Of course George didn't think so and he got reamed. But it was well worth it.
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Eyesopen
Hehehehehehehehehe....potty germs....hehehehehehehehe
OMG I must be more tired than I thought....hehehehehehe
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Dot Matrix
W&W
ROTFL!!!
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wrdsandwrks
Yeah, it was pretty funny.
Another funny lunch time at Emporia happened probably the 1st week of 9th corps in res. One of the mucky mucks (I can't remember if it was LCM or George H.) was rambling on after lunch and Martha S. proceeded to make herself comfortable by pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. George got this pained look on his face and asked in a very strained voice what she thought she was doing. "Just having a smoke.", the volume got a little louder as he asked, "Well, do you see any ashtrays on the table?". "No", she replied, "that's okay, I'll just use my plate." After that , the volume exploded, another reaming, but worth the price of admission.
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