Many people experience "residual effects" of the cult experience..."Time" is the great healer. The longer you are out of twi and involved with "healthy endeavors", the more complete your recovery will be...in other words, it gets better. :)
As a working artist and drawing teacher I think I can answer you.
You started out so filled with ideas, so filled with inspiration, so wanting to make your statement.
The along came the inner critic - carefully honed by the rantings that LCM and VPW gave out of their ignorance. So now you have an idea and you stop before you even started. You find yourself asking if this is spiritually correct. Does it line up with the Word? Question after question after question that leaves you drained and wondering why you ever even started that project to begin with.
STOP! Breathe!
Your art is a reflection of your soul. You are putting yourself out there for all to see. Don't start self-editing before you even start. Remember that your message will reach someone and that you have something worth saying.
PM me and I can give you some things I did to get started. If pressed I can post them here - but I'd rather keep this private unless I hear a number of folks wanting to know.
Before I got into TWI and "committed", I had poetry and short stories published - I had won some awards. At the time, I thought I wanted to go to school for journalism. I was also into watercolor painting, photography, and played some instruments. All these things gathered dust over the 12-13 years I was in TWI. Of course I also got married and that put a bigger damper on my creative energy. I even got rid of my writings and many of my paintings on the advice of my husband (now ex-husband) because they weren't "on the Word" - go figure. I regret that - those were like my babies!
When I left and divorced my first husband (about 10 years ago, now) and wasn't so into TWI, I re-discovered a lot of things about myself that I hadn't had the time for earlier. I was amazed at what I had given up - I hadn't really noticed.
I left TWI about seven years ago now and those creative things have somewhat come back to me. I re-married, and when I did my husband and I came to a mutual understanding that we would respect each other's personal space when it came it hobbies and interests - that's one of the cool understandings we have. Of course, now we have two kids so there's not much time for hobbies and interests... but I now play bass guitar, sew (quilting), design web sites, and dabble with graphic design and photography. I've written a couple of short stories - nothing I'd try to publish - but still...
The point is that it all takes time. It will get there. Get into what USED to inspire you. Maybe it was listening to certain music, going certain places, or doing things. Whatever got your imagination working for you then will work again. I like to go to places where there is art - a museum, a coffeeshop with live music, or maybe even just a school art show. I get inspired by some of the sights and sounds in those places that house creativity.
You'll get there - start with what works for you and go... don't force it.... and relax. (That's the hardest thing sometimes, isn't it?)
When I first got "in the Word", I was a working musician/actor(ie: starving)
My songwriting was quite prolific at that time.
After I was told it was counterproductive to spew negatives, I virtually stopped writing.
All these years later, I still haven't gone back to writing but I'm not sure that is because of the Way or because I now channel that energy into the instruments I play and find a creative outlet in improvisation.
I have tried a few times to write again but it always seems contrived. Playing, on the other hand, seems to satisfy that craving to be creative.
I have had a bit of a problem as a formerly creative individual since my experience in twi... Seems a bit hard to let go and really allow myself to work creatively on anything in the past couple of years.
Anybody else have this problem?
or am I the only one?
I find it hard to even get to the point of letting my mind wander a little bit outside the lines, and this is coming from a formerly prolific writer (posts online DO NOT COUNT), painter, poet, and singer... The only time I seem to be able to think outside my box is while driving, because I can't be working on something else in the meantime...
help?
She'll have to answer this herself for a deeper explanation, but I can tell you Mrs. B has been able to "spread her wings" more when comes to her profession, her homemaking, and her hobbies since leaving the gulag.
I have had a bit of a problem as a formerly creative individual since my experience in twi... Seems a bit hard to let go and really allow myself to work creatively on anything in the past couple of years.
Anybody else have this problem?
or am I the only one?
I find it hard to even get to the point of letting my mind wander a little bit outside the lines, and this is coming from a formerly prolific writer (posts online DO NOT COUNT), painter, poet, and singer... The only time I seem to be able to think outside my box is while driving, because I can't be working on something else in the meantime...
help?
Heh heh heh!
The front porch swing is a great place for creativity too!
(Music that is --- guitar, banjo, or mandolin in your lap,
fiddle under your chin -- peace and quiet -- that sort of thing).
Javajane, prior to TWI I did alot of writing. During those years IN there was little time for anything creative.
After leaving I started writing again, took a class on novel writing--but I couldn't get anything finished! For a couple of years I was very frustrated with myself.
Finally, though, someone gave me a clue--I was trying to write a perfect( because perfect is the only acceptable standard!) novel from the get go. Once I learned to write a rough draft without trying to get it perfect, then rewrite and edit, I was able to get something done.
JJ, "The Sound of Paper" helped me get back in touch with my creative self. Also, reading books just for fun - the ones that stimulate the imagination - especially the Harry Potter books.
It gets easier and it does get better. Just remember to be compassionate and patient with yourself. It's not gone; it's just been suppressed for so long that it's going to take a little time for it to come back to the surface. :)
Needlework has always been a respite for me- I have to keep my hands busy
Several years fter I left TWi I got a couple of counted cross pieces out of my UFO stash and started working on them again. Then a friend of mine came to me and said she had to come up with 5 Haiku for an English class. I had loved doing Haiku in my twenties and was thrilled to help her and that was another creative door reopened for me. then I started Knitting and crocheting (2 third place ribbons at the state fair) and also started doing crewel again. I also started drawing once and a while and then came genealogy and quilting.
The big point is that these creative outlets, far from being selfish, enable you to relax , think and become the person you desire to be. Plus Homemade gifts are greatly treasured so you can "kill two birds with one stone" as it were. Also teaching others how to do your craft whether on an individual basis or your child's school or church women's group also allows you to share and interact with others
I have had a bit of a problem as a formerly creative individual since my experience in twi... Seems a bit hard to let go and really allow myself to work creatively on anything in the past couple of years.
Anybody else have this problem?
or am I the only one?
I find it hard to even get to the point of letting my mind wander a little bit outside the lines, and this is coming from a formerly prolific writer (posts online DO NOT COUNT), painter, poet, and singer... The only time I seem to be able to think outside my box is while driving, because I can't be working on something else in the meantime...
help?
Question 1: yes
Question 2: no
Question 3: It sounds like you are on the right track, ie: you're aware and openly expressing it. That counts for a lot, imo.
I assume you are recently new exiting TWI or the like? Or at least just now becoming aware of its influence in your life? I was involved 28 years and left 1 - 1/2 years ago. The past few months my creative insides sort of erupted, in a good way me thinks. :) But the need to erupt had been brewing for 8 or 9 years. I hid in the pages of my journals through some of that time. I am final able to openly express. In other words it has taken time and timetables are different for different people.
I have a phrase I say to myself when stepping beyond the "boundaries": Feel the fear and do it anyway. As the saying goes, just do it. I have contemplated with myself and asked, "What is the worst than can happen?" Logically (for me) the worst that can happen when I express myself is rejection of my work/expression or judgment passed toward me.
Part of my stifling has come from the need for approval. That stems from a variety of experiences, one being the required approval by leadership in certain situations in TWI. That is, was I on the Word or off the Word in my expression.
Of course if it weren't TWI, I probably would have been involved in some other controlling group with similar results. As we all know, even the nuclear family (that has an atomosphere of control and approval) can stifle creativity.
Something else that has helped me is rubbing shoulders with people who are of a creative spirit; they get it. They understand that the point is expression. It ain't for approval; it ain't necessarily to "bless" someone else; it ain't for some sort of "profit." Hello effin' no! (Excuse me; I could go on a rant here.) The point is expression; the point is life; the point is the journey; the point is the heart. (Plus some other points, I'm sure. )
Good LUCK with your endeavors JavaJane. You'll be fine as you keep putting one stroke in front, behind, beside the other.
She and T-Bone have kept us thoroughly entertained with "permit"able banter and wasn't there a Haiku thread around here somewhere? And a limerick thread?
Thank you all for your kind suggestions and encouragement!!
I think they will all help immensely. I came to the realization a couple of years back that I needed to get back on track with my creative endeavors, and I learned fast that I needed to work on them discreetly...
I had been working on a novel at one point, but was told by someone I greaty respected that I needed to look at why I wanted to write? What was the profit? How would it glorify God?
Since it was just a NOVEL with no specific POINT or PROFIT other than being enjoyable, I stopped.
Picked it up again a few years later and realized it was actually not half bad, but when I tried to continue writing, it would only come out in spurts, because I kept trying to cram some sort of biblial lesson into it.
I still have the manuscript sitting somewhere. I should pull it back out again.
Thank you all for your kind suggestions and encouragement!!
I think they will all help immensely. I came to the realization a couple of years back that I needed to get back on track with my creative endeavors, and I learned fast that I needed to work on them discreetly...
I had been working on a novel at one point, but was told by someone I greaty respected that I needed to look at why I wanted to write? What was the profit? How would it glorify God?
Since it was just a NOVEL with no specific POINT or PROFIT other than being enjoyable, I stopped.
Picked it up again a few years later and realized it was actually not half bad, but when I tried to continue writing, it would only come out in spurts, because I kept trying to cram some sort of biblial lesson into it.
I still have the manuscript sitting somewhere. I should pull it back out again.
Thank you all for helping!
Here's what I would do...
JUST WRITE! Don't worry about sentence structure or punctuation or even if the flow is right. Let it come out of you and then wait a week. Then you can go back and edit. You might even have a file where some of this writing generates ideas for other subjects.
The right brain isn't logical and formulaic. It's emotional and intuitive. Allow yourself to get lost in the process. Allow "you" to seep into every word - no matter what comes out. Sure you'll go back and change things - but getting it all out on paper will be so freeing and stimulating at the same time.
In a conversation today I was reminded of a book that helped some, The Artist's Way by Cameron. I didn't apply all the exercises in her book, but the book helped me get in touch with (dare I say) murdered dreams. Also Sara Breathech's (?) books like Excavating Your Authentic Self.
As far as rubbing shoulders with creative folks.....my first specific exposed rub that was outside the "boundaries" was when I joined an African drumming circle for a couple years. That was while I was still in TWI. Looking back it was a vital part of the awakening within.
Yeah...and what Dooj said on the writing. Perfectionism is a killer for creativity.
I have the same problem. Years ago I had great enthusium, it seems since twi sucked the life out of me. I slowly have been getting some excitement for life back. I think it will take time. " Go out and prosper".
I entered the Corps straight from The School of Visual Arts in NYC. I was full of enthusiasm for God and somehow using my art to do something good.
Had to leave my paints and supplies behind - three years later they were gone because the person I left them with decided to use them and keep most of them.
Twenty plus years later I finally returned to painting and added teaching drawing to children. It was like I never gave it up in some ways. Granted, I had spent the previous twenty years in a field that I was able to use my talents in - but it wasn't quite the same.
I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I never stopped painting. Then I look at my kids and think that maybe I don't really care so much...
The important thing is that you take what you have in terms of talent and desire and use it to communicate to others. Express yourself and let your soul be known - no matter how long it takes.
I have had a bit of a problem as a formerly creative individual since my experience in twi... Seems a bit hard to let go and really allow myself to work creatively on anything in the past couple of years.
Anybody else have this problem?
or am I the only one?
Nope, your not. Elena S. Whiteside addresses the same thing in the book, "God's Word in Culture" - specifically, Essay Two - The Word in Culture. In this chapter she talks about sitting through her first PFAL class in Rye, NY when working for 2 years as a free lance writer. Poetry was what she wanted to write most, but no one wanted to pay her for poetry so she expanded into research and writing in an area where she had considerable background.
She talks about how after taking the foundational class she became totally engrossed in God's Word and immersed herself with reading only the Bible and TWI ministry materials. It was at this point a conflict entered her mind - that is, on one hand she was convinced the Word of God was God's Word and God was the greatest author ever and He had said everything that needed to be said. Her conclusion: "Why write anything? What could she write? It has all been said. If she wrote she was presuming more needed to be said." (Quoting ESW verbatim from the book - God's Word in Culture.) She considered any writing on her part then to be egotisitical, vain, bringing only glory to herself.
She expresses how she was not alone in that conflict. She states how she met others with thoughts of being musicians, dancers, etc. on one hand and that on the other hand God's will for them was to "keep in the Word" which she says she thought meant spending day after day working, reading, studying the Bible 15 hours a day only to run a fellowship for 2-3 hours a night. She states: (quoting her verbatim) "Do not ask me now where I got this gray image of the more abundant life. Looking back I do not recall anyone teaching this. (The mind works in peculiar ways sometimes.) But at that time I could not reconcile what looked like a vain, egotistic, worldly desire to write on the one hand, with what seemed to me to be God's will on the other hand. It was at this point that I decided to turn to look for answers His Word. (Now that is always right.) Was there a place for writing? And for that matter, for the other arts? For culture? If so, how did art and culture fit with the Word? Could I go in the direction of writing and still be in God's will?
From the replys that have been posted so far, it seems to me a lot of people in/from TWI never bothered reading that book - God's Word in Culture - especially if they still have the same hang-ups today that she says she overcame. From what I heard, ESW is no longer with TWI today and that book might have had something to do with it too. At least, that's what I think.
I did read everything I got my hands on regarding God's Word in culture - not only Elena's book but that little pamphlet that VPW wrote on (cough) ethics and God's word in culture.
It's always hard to return to something once you've put it down. Even harder when you have to buy new equipment and work around a family and work schedule.
What I had to discover was NOT how my art would fit in culture. Nor how God's word fit in the arts in culture. I had to figure out WHERE I FIT IN THIS WORLD in life after TWI.
but I remember having similar thoughts about perusing my desired career. Nothing I could would match God's Word, and anything less than Way Corps is low-realm. God first. I knew what I wanted to do ten years ago. I'm not doing that now because of that type of thinking.
I know folks still thinking those thoughts today.
I just thought that "Create"-ivity is not limited to the Arts and writing.
I just edited my inital post to add the last remark: "From what I heard, ESW is no longer with TWI today and that book might have had something to do with it too. At least, that's what I think." I think the reason she left TWI is that the people who are still stuck in TWI do indeed have that "gray image of the more abundant life" - to put it in her exact words.
I believe it all started with VPW making the statement that only God Himself could create, and that man can only shape, fabricate, and make, but man can never create - only God Himself could create and man claming creativity for himself was akin to claiming the same thing the serpent said back in Genesis where it says - For ye shall be as Gods ...
Remember how it was always a misnomer in TWI (for most people it was totally off the Word) for us to use the word: "create" especially when speaking of anything that we produced ourselves? Yep, you were automatically out of alignment and harmony with God Almighty whenever you slipped up and used the word "create" when speaking of yourself. Some of us have finally figured out that our God is not really all that incompetent.
I can't believe I have never heard of that book, Darth! I was involved in twi for the majority of my lifespan. It must not have been available for very long.
Thanks again, all for the post! I like them VERY much!!
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chockfull
We still get Hoho cards - like I want to see their fugly mugs. Somehow mine got thrown out before I could realize the true Photoshop value encased therein. But that there is a good idea!!!!! Maybe
JavaJane
Just an update... I now own and run my own business which involves a lot of culinary creativity... AND I joined the choir at my church. Sang in the Advent Concert. And just finished singing in my
GrouchoMarxJr
No...You're not the only one...
Many people experience "residual effects" of the cult experience..."Time" is the great healer. The longer you are out of twi and involved with "healthy endeavors", the more complete your recovery will be...in other words, it gets better. :)
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doojable
Java Jane
As a working artist and drawing teacher I think I can answer you.
You started out so filled with ideas, so filled with inspiration, so wanting to make your statement.
The along came the inner critic - carefully honed by the rantings that LCM and VPW gave out of their ignorance. So now you have an idea and you stop before you even started. You find yourself asking if this is spiritually correct. Does it line up with the Word? Question after question after question that leaves you drained and wondering why you ever even started that project to begin with.
STOP! Breathe!
Your art is a reflection of your soul. You are putting yourself out there for all to see. Don't start self-editing before you even start. Remember that your message will reach someone and that you have something worth saying.
PM me and I can give you some things I did to get started. If pressed I can post them here - but I'd rather keep this private unless I hear a number of folks wanting to know.
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ChasUFarley
I hear you....
Before I got into TWI and "committed", I had poetry and short stories published - I had won some awards. At the time, I thought I wanted to go to school for journalism. I was also into watercolor painting, photography, and played some instruments. All these things gathered dust over the 12-13 years I was in TWI. Of course I also got married and that put a bigger damper on my creative energy. I even got rid of my writings and many of my paintings on the advice of my husband (now ex-husband) because they weren't "on the Word" - go figure. I regret that - those were like my babies!
When I left and divorced my first husband (about 10 years ago, now) and wasn't so into TWI, I re-discovered a lot of things about myself that I hadn't had the time for earlier. I was amazed at what I had given up - I hadn't really noticed.
I left TWI about seven years ago now and those creative things have somewhat come back to me. I re-married, and when I did my husband and I came to a mutual understanding that we would respect each other's personal space when it came it hobbies and interests - that's one of the cool understandings we have. Of course, now we have two kids so there's not much time for hobbies and interests... but I now play bass guitar, sew (quilting), design web sites, and dabble with graphic design and photography. I've written a couple of short stories - nothing I'd try to publish - but still...
The point is that it all takes time. It will get there. Get into what USED to inspire you. Maybe it was listening to certain music, going certain places, or doing things. Whatever got your imagination working for you then will work again. I like to go to places where there is art - a museum, a coffeeshop with live music, or maybe even just a school art show. I get inspired by some of the sights and sounds in those places that house creativity.
You'll get there - start with what works for you and go... don't force it.... and relax. (That's the hardest thing sometimes, isn't it?)
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waysider
When I first got "in the Word", I was a working musician/actor(ie: starving)
My songwriting was quite prolific at that time.
After I was told it was counterproductive to spew negatives, I virtually stopped writing.
All these years later, I still haven't gone back to writing but I'm not sure that is because of the Way or because I now channel that energy into the instruments I play and find a creative outlet in improvisation.
I have tried a few times to write again but it always seems contrived. Playing, on the other hand, seems to satisfy that craving to be creative.
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Bolshevik
She'll have to answer this herself for a deeper explanation, but I can tell you Mrs. B has been able to "spread her wings" more when comes to her profession, her homemaking, and her hobbies since leaving the gulag.
I for one enjoy seeing this.
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dmiller
Heh heh heh!
The front porch swing is a great place for creativity too!
(Music that is --- guitar, banjo, or mandolin in your lap,
fiddle under your chin -- peace and quiet -- that sort of thing).
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year2027
God first
Beloved JavaJane
God loves you my dear friend
yes we all been in that boat
and I see you got some good help from many here
What help me may not help you but I will share
What help me was written my life story and posting it in my story area
that help me face the past were I could move on
But I still today do things to open up my creatively side to help me think outside the box
today I got the room very dark were I only saw the color black then I could say I was in the dark
but the truth I lied because there was light because it takes light to even see the color black
so now you know some things I do
thank you
with love and a holy kiss blowing your way Roy
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Bramble
Javajane, prior to TWI I did alot of writing. During those years IN there was little time for anything creative.
After leaving I started writing again, took a class on novel writing--but I couldn't get anything finished! For a couple of years I was very frustrated with myself.
Finally, though, someone gave me a clue--I was trying to write a perfect( because perfect is the only acceptable standard!) novel from the get go. Once I learned to write a rough draft without trying to get it perfect, then rewrite and edit, I was able to get something done.
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Belle
JJ, "The Sound of Paper" helped me get back in touch with my creative self. Also, reading books just for fun - the ones that stimulate the imagination - especially the Harry Potter books.
It gets easier and it does get better. Just remember to be compassionate and patient with yourself. It's not gone; it's just been suppressed for so long that it's going to take a little time for it to come back to the surface. :)
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templelady
Needlework has always been a respite for me- I have to keep my hands busy
Several years fter I left TWi I got a couple of counted cross pieces out of my UFO stash and started working on them again. Then a friend of mine came to me and said she had to come up with 5 Haiku for an English class. I had loved doing Haiku in my twenties and was thrilled to help her and that was another creative door reopened for me. then I started Knitting and crocheting (2 third place ribbons at the state fair) and also started doing crewel again. I also started drawing once and a while and then came genealogy and quilting.
The big point is that these creative outlets, far from being selfish, enable you to relax , think and become the person you desire to be. Plus Homemade gifts are greatly treasured so you can "kill two birds with one stone" as it were. Also teaching others how to do your craft whether on an individual basis or your child's school or church women's group also allows you to share and interact with others
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I Love Bagpipes
Question 1: yes
Question 2: no
Question 3: It sounds like you are on the right track, ie: you're aware and openly expressing it. That counts for a lot, imo.
I assume you are recently new exiting TWI or the like? Or at least just now becoming aware of its influence in your life? I was involved 28 years and left 1 - 1/2 years ago. The past few months my creative insides sort of erupted, in a good way me thinks. :) But the need to erupt had been brewing for 8 or 9 years. I hid in the pages of my journals through some of that time. I am final able to openly express. In other words it has taken time and timetables are different for different people.
I have a phrase I say to myself when stepping beyond the "boundaries": Feel the fear and do it anyway. As the saying goes, just do it. I have contemplated with myself and asked, "What is the worst than can happen?" Logically (for me) the worst that can happen when I express myself is rejection of my work/expression or judgment passed toward me.
Part of my stifling has come from the need for approval. That stems from a variety of experiences, one being the required approval by leadership in certain situations in TWI. That is, was I on the Word or off the Word in my expression.
Of course if it weren't TWI, I probably would have been involved in some other controlling group with similar results. As we all know, even the nuclear family (that has an atomosphere of control and approval) can stifle creativity.
Something else that has helped me is rubbing shoulders with people who are of a creative spirit; they get it. They understand that the point is expression. It ain't for approval; it ain't necessarily to "bless" someone else; it ain't for some sort of "profit." Hello effin' no!
(Excuse me; I could go on a rant here.) The point is expression; the point is life; the point is the journey; the point is the heart. (Plus some other points, I'm sure. 
)
Good LUCK
with your endeavors JavaJane. You'll be fine as you keep putting one stroke in front, behind, beside the other.
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waysider
Well said, Mo.
Sometimes our creativity hasn't really left us at all, it's just gone incognito and resurfaces in another persona.
I liked the idea of"killing 2 birds with one stone" also.
ILB(I'll Be!
)
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Lots of times it's not so much about the finished product as it is about the production process.
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Belle
Mo's leaving something out, JJ.
She and T-Bone have kept us thoroughly entertained with "permit"able banter and wasn't there a Haiku thread around here somewhere? And a limerick thread?
Of course, on one hand, there's the occasional tendency to be just plain silly and tlk about things like amazing sea monkeys on the other hand, there's always food handy for a good old fashioned food fight.
If you're so inclined, visit the Greasespot Gallery and Reading Room or Just Plain Silly and start something. You'd be amazed at the, ahhh.... ummmm.... talent in the cafe.
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JavaJane
Thank you all for your kind suggestions and encouragement!!
I think they will all help immensely. I came to the realization a couple of years back that I needed to get back on track with my creative endeavors, and I learned fast that I needed to work on them discreetly...
I had been working on a novel at one point, but was told by someone I greaty respected that I needed to look at why I wanted to write? What was the profit? How would it glorify God?
Since it was just a NOVEL with no specific POINT or PROFIT other than being enjoyable, I stopped.
Picked it up again a few years later and realized it was actually not half bad, but when I tried to continue writing, it would only come out in spurts, because I kept trying to cram some sort of biblial lesson into it.
I still have the manuscript sitting somewhere. I should pull it back out again.
Thank you all for helping!
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Bramble
What was it about books and TWI?
You could go to movies, watch videos etc, but sheesh, don't read a book for entertainment!
Unless it was a mystery that LCM read of course.
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doojable
Here's what I would do...
JUST WRITE! Don't worry about sentence structure or punctuation or even if the flow is right. Let it come out of you and then wait a week. Then you can go back and edit. You might even have a file where some of this writing generates ideas for other subjects.
The right brain isn't logical and formulaic. It's emotional and intuitive. Allow yourself to get lost in the process. Allow "you" to seep into every word - no matter what comes out. Sure you'll go back and change things - but getting it all out on paper will be so freeing and stimulating at the same time.
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I Love Bagpipes
Couple more thoughts:
In a conversation today I was reminded of a book that helped some, The Artist's Way by Cameron. I didn't apply all the exercises in her book, but the book helped me get in touch with (dare I say) murdered dreams. Also Sara Breathech's (?) books like Excavating Your Authentic Self.
As far as rubbing shoulders with creative folks.....my first specific exposed rub that was outside the "boundaries" was when I joined an African drumming circle for a couple years. That was while I was still in TWI. Looking back it was a vital part of the awakening within.
Yeah...and what Dooj said on the writing. Perfectionism is a killer for creativity.
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polar bear
I have the same problem. Years ago I had great enthusium, it seems since twi sucked the life out of me. I slowly have been getting some excitement for life back. I think it will take time. " Go out and prosper".
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doojable
I entered the Corps straight from The School of Visual Arts in NYC. I was full of enthusiasm for God and somehow using my art to do something good.
Had to leave my paints and supplies behind - three years later they were gone because the person I left them with decided to use them and keep most of them.
Twenty plus years later I finally returned to painting and added teaching drawing to children. It was like I never gave it up in some ways. Granted, I had spent the previous twenty years in a field that I was able to use my talents in - but it wasn't quite the same.
I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I never stopped painting. Then I look at my kids and think that maybe I don't really care so much...
The important thing is that you take what you have in terms of talent and desire and use it to communicate to others. Express yourself and let your soul be known - no matter how long it takes.
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What The Hey
Nope, your not. Elena S. Whiteside addresses the same thing in the book, "God's Word in Culture" - specifically, Essay Two - The Word in Culture. In this chapter she talks about sitting through her first PFAL class in Rye, NY when working for 2 years as a free lance writer. Poetry was what she wanted to write most, but no one wanted to pay her for poetry so she expanded into research and writing in an area where she had considerable background.
She talks about how after taking the foundational class she became totally engrossed in God's Word and immersed herself with reading only the Bible and TWI ministry materials. It was at this point a conflict entered her mind - that is, on one hand she was convinced the Word of God was God's Word and God was the greatest author ever and He had said everything that needed to be said. Her conclusion: "Why write anything? What could she write? It has all been said. If she wrote she was presuming more needed to be said." (Quoting ESW verbatim from the book - God's Word in Culture.) She considered any writing on her part then to be egotisitical, vain, bringing only glory to herself.
She expresses how she was not alone in that conflict. She states how she met others with thoughts of being musicians, dancers, etc. on one hand and that on the other hand God's will for them was to "keep in the Word" which she says she thought meant spending day after day working, reading, studying the Bible 15 hours a day only to run a fellowship for 2-3 hours a night. She states: (quoting her verbatim) "Do not ask me now where I got this gray image of the more abundant life. Looking back I do not recall anyone teaching this. (The mind works in peculiar ways sometimes.) But at that time I could not reconcile what looked like a vain, egotistic, worldly desire to write on the one hand, with what seemed to me to be God's will on the other hand. It was at this point that I decided to turn to look for answers His Word. (Now that is always right.) Was there a place for writing? And for that matter, for the other arts? For culture? If so, how did art and culture fit with the Word? Could I go in the direction of writing and still be in God's will?
From the replys that have been posted so far, it seems to me a lot of people in/from TWI never bothered reading that book - God's Word in Culture - especially if they still have the same hang-ups today that she says she overcame. From what I heard, ESW is no longer with TWI today and that book might have had something to do with it too. At least, that's what I think.
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doojable
What the Hey - sorry but you've spoken too soon.
I did read everything I got my hands on regarding God's Word in culture - not only Elena's book but that little pamphlet that VPW wrote on (cough) ethics and God's word in culture.
It's always hard to return to something once you've put it down. Even harder when you have to buy new equipment and work around a family and work schedule.
What I had to discover was NOT how my art would fit in culture. Nor how God's word fit in the arts in culture. I had to figure out WHERE I FIT IN THIS WORLD in life after TWI.
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Bolshevik
Maybe this is
but I remember having similar thoughts about perusing my desired career. Nothing I could would match God's Word, and anything less than Way Corps is low-realm. God first. I knew what I wanted to do ten years ago. I'm not doing that now because of that type of thinking.
I know folks still thinking those thoughts today.
I just thought that "Create"-ivity is not limited to the Arts and writing.
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What The Hey
I just edited my inital post to add the last remark: "From what I heard, ESW is no longer with TWI today and that book might have had something to do with it too. At least, that's what I think." I think the reason she left TWI is that the people who are still stuck in TWI do indeed have that "gray image of the more abundant life" - to put it in her exact words.
I believe it all started with VPW making the statement that only God Himself could create, and that man can only shape, fabricate, and make, but man can never create - only God Himself could create and man claming creativity for himself was akin to claiming the same thing the serpent said back in Genesis where it says - For ye shall be as Gods ...
Remember how it was always a misnomer in TWI (for most people it was totally off the Word) for us to use the word: "create" especially when speaking of anything that we produced ourselves? Yep, you were automatically out of alignment and harmony with God Almighty whenever you slipped up and used the word "create" when speaking of yourself. Some of us have finally figured out that our God is not really all that incompetent.
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JavaJane
I can't believe I have never heard of that book, Darth! I was involved in twi for the majority of my lifespan. It must not have been available for very long.
Thanks again, all for the post! I like them VERY much!!
:wub:
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