In any case, I am an oil landscape painter (although I am comfortable with all mediums including graphics, calligraphy and pen and ink). I did a series of posters for the pfal class using the chords. Worked out nicely because there are 12 major keys and 12 sessions. Since I also play piano, it wasn’t difficult for me to figure out the colors belonging to the different keys. Later on, I was not allowed to do art work for the ministry because I wasn’t WC. So WC would do the artwork with no artistic ability whatsoever…but you know they were WC so it must be more godly.
Now THERE was an old story around twi...
There are actually people who can "see" colors as various notes are played.
I don't know very much about this other than that it exists and it is not something they force into fruition.
As best I can tell, it must resemble that scene in "Fantasia" where the instruments play and colored images appear.
It's not a random type of thing. In other words, C# will always produce the same color. (We'll say purple just as an example) and it's tonal value will fluctuate based on how sharp or flat it is produced.
I think another part of what squelched any creativity in TWI was the near obsessive behavior of 'spiritualizing' things; paintings, music, etc. Ie., trying to determine whether or not some music was coming from some 'seed boy' in the music world, or which colors were more 'spiritual' or more 'godly' to use than others.
It got to be almost as funny (read: stupid) as our practice of putting a spiritual meaning on the number of items and stuff.
Overall, as a result, I don't think many of us could figure spirituality out of a paper bag, ... Wierwille included.
My grandmother worked as an occupational therapist in a mental hospital when she was living, and was also an artist. She was the director for arts and crafts. I had ample opportunity to see the artwork of the patients during grade school and junior high. The work was every bit as disturbing as the patients. Every painting was dominantly black with little color.
Fast forward to 1992. We are getting ready to run a class. A WC who had a little bit of artistic ability had made posters and since I was a TC and on crew I saw them. Well, they looked exactly like the artwork I’d seen in the mental hospital with very heavy use of black. Now I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to make them since I wasn’t WC and the decision had already been made who would, but I was so shocked I thought I should say something.
Unbeknownst to me, anything Devine Design had come up with had already been cast off as evil and old wine skin. I say “did you know HQ teaches about using black in artwork?” I am thinking surely they must know, they took the ADV class. I caught wrath, screaming and carrying on that lasted two weeks. I never again mentioned black.
Most of TWI's paranoia regarding black was a result of ignorance.
I chose to eliminate black from my pallette prior to taking the class - but that was something I chose to do - I wasn't told to do it. Furthermore, I never saw a color as having any spiritual significance - tho I do seem to recall that being done for a season.
I could write pages - but if I do I'll just re-live a time that has long since passed.
I agree. I elimated it purely because it has a weird way of deadening colors. I don't have a concern about black other than the way I saw it used by mental patients. My shock about the posters was they had that same weird quality as the work of mental patients.
You know guys, back in the '70's there were almost NO WC to do any artwork for TWI events. There were basically no WC on staff @ HQ even. Its amazing to me how deep the BS went & how different it was from when I worked @ HQ.
I wasn't WC when I came on staff @ HQ & I designed & illustrated The Way Mag for publication to the whole dang ministry!
Our Heart Mag was a ONE color publication & that color was - - god forbid, BLACK!
We transitioned (starting in 1980) the print dept @ HQ from a single color duplication operation to a full color in-house full service printing plant and were one of the top 100 corporate in-house printing operations in the country by the early '80s. The Way Mag won awards and was used by our printer (a company "in the world") as part of their portfolio to show off their capabilities to gain other business.
The improvements made to NK airport to accomodate TWI's Flight Services Dept. made New Kknoxville's airport the top rural airport in the state of Ohio & one of the best in the country. Ambassador One was the first "Super Condor" conversion in the world and made that class of airplane (with a decades old airframe) a true international turbo-prop jet airplane. Amb 1 could take off from NK Airport and fly non-stop to Europe. That made NK an INTERNATIONAL airport.
At one time we WERE "better than the world" in a lot of categories @ HQ. This was before "the great purge" in 1989. Under the guise of "spiritual commitment" Craig got rid of ALL of us who would not bow down and worship him and believe and (to use one of his pet words) "promulgate" his wannabe the great one attitude.
Most of TWI's paranoia regarding black was a result of ignorance.
Amen sistern...
There were far too many people on staff who didn't have the professional prerequisites to get a similar job as they had @ HQ in a "worldly company." ... and they knew it. They hid behind the "I'm more spiritual than you" thing to just get over on their subordinates.
LCM was the chiefest of these. He had absolutely NO qualifications to become CEO of a $22mil corporation. Actually VPW didn't either. VP, however, at least had the entreprenurial abilities to run the company.
far to many others were just plain ignorant of what they needed to be in the positions they had. Ego took over.
There were far too many people on staff who didn't have the professional prerequisites to get a similar job as they had @ HQ in a "worldly company." ... and they knew it. They hid behind the "I'm more spiritual than you" thing to just get over on their subordinates.
...far to many others were just plain ignorant of what they needed to be in the positions they had. Ego took over.
And as far as I'm concerned, that describes the double standard of TWI in a nutshell.
I entered the Corps wanting to receive spiritual training that would help me speak through my art. I knew I'd have to put down my pencils and paint brushes for 4 months - no problem. I knew that was coming and it was fine and expected. I was put in "Sewing." Anyone who knew me would have known that this was not a real talent for me. I had to work at it and overcome some fear - but I got to the point that I was in charge of altering the pants of those men that lost 20-80 lbs and still needed to wear the same pants because the $20/ mo. allowance wasn't enough to buy a new wardrobe. (I actually was in charge of minor alterations for the rental tuxes worn by those men who got ordained when I was at HQ in August of 1983. I did hemming and such.)
OK fine. After 4 months, still nothing having to do with my real talent. Six months still nothing. In fact, it wasn't until the LAST BLOCK OF MY LAST YEAR that I got to be in Devine Design.
In fact, I had training as a conservation framer. When the 11th Corps gave their graduating gift to the campus, it was a remodeling of the snack room. We had art to hang and frame. I was familiar with the party line that we should do everything to the highest standards, so I suggested acid free rag mats for this art. P*t L*nn looked at me with such anger and hatred in her eyes! Her words were, "Well, this isn't a frame shop. We go with what I say."
When it came time to hang the artwork, I wanted to measure and be careful, Once again, the Dragon Lady with the Red Hair gave me that evil stare and just started nailing.
I had strong abilities and talent in two areas, but they were overlooked and poo-poohed. I wish I had a nickel for every person who's strengths and talents were just ignored. I'd be rich.
Yet, if a gal had been found to have secretarial skills, she was working in that department as quick as they could get her in there.
I guess the point I'm not making very well here is that a majority of the artists and writers were not really allowed to persue their gifts and talents. If you could build or provide good manual labor, well then you were in - but all that talk about the artisans and the temple - well it wasn't really practiced. Talent was put on hold. I hate to think about how many folks just abandoned their true talents so that they could impress an MOG.
Oh and today - I've been a professional picture framer for over 22 years. I return to this every summer while school is out. I paint portraits and teach painting and drawing for a living. I'm glad that God is in charge. I'm sorry that these men said that they knew God's heart on the matter.
I saw that kind of thing happen over and over again. Not just with people who had artistic abilities and training, but with lots of folks. It was this unwritten rule that if someone had honed their skills in the "natural world" those skills were automatically EVIL, and went unused. And yet, at the same time, other people who had natural-world training and skills got lauded to the skies. I never understood why it was one way for some, and another way for others!!! That always bothered me!!! All I can figure, looking back, is that if they needed your skills, you were praised, and if they thought they didn't need your skills, you got ignored or even criticized for even having the skills and abilities.
And think about it... when it came to assignments (WOW or Corps) people learned not to speak up about what they REALLY wanted, because they KNEW they would get something just the opposite. They shut their mouths and at least knew they had a 50-50 chance of getting assigned somewhere they liked. And if you got something you liked, you figured God was blessing you, and if you got what you hated, you figured you were getting the results of being fearful. What a bunch of hooey!!
Even out on the field, there was that same double standard. When my BCs needed something artsy-craftsy done, I was the first person they called. Or when they needed some music for a special event, it was always me asked to coordinate it, even if I wasn't the performer. Okay, those were skills and trainings I had long before twi. (maybe they thought I had gained them while in-rez?)
But, when the BC put out some incorrect info regarding emails, spam, and viruses, and I immediately notified him privately so he could correct himself. I didn't want him to spread wrong information and perhaps making himself look like a fool in the process! Did I get thanked. No. I got my rear end handed back to me on a platter for questioning the mini-mog!!! (never mind that I work with computers for a living and was RIGHT)
Now dooj, here’s what I want to know. Did you send letters to your sponsors about the incredible spiritual learning you got from sewing?
I used to get letters from people I sponsored about the great spiritual things that could be gleaned from cleaning windows and bathrooms. Now here’s the thing. I’ve cleaned bathrooms and windows for years, and not once have I ever learned even a small, minor spiritual thing from doing it. No amazing revelation. No nothing. I cleaned and I waited. Never happened.
Does this mean I am just not spiritually heavy? Below par?
No, I never sent letters stating the great spiritual perceptions I was gaining while learning sewing. It wasn't/isn't my style to make up stuff like that.
Actually another spot, I wasn't joking..THERE WERE those who would talk about all the "learned':
("OH today I learned you have to be detail-minded...."- as if they didn't know that already - The best "learning" came when the said something like, "I clean these windows everyday even if they don't need them - I can see how sometimes I don't think I need to be forgiven but Father forgives me anyway...." PUKE!)
Man, dooj. That sounds just exactly like those letters!
I remember a time we were about to start a class. A WC went nuts because there was a smudge on the window. He started yelling, "that can keep the students from receiving the Word!!!!"
Ahem...I was WC- and I was not like that. I cringed when I heard that sort of stuff.
Of course, I was told I wouldn't go very far as a leader either. They could tell all THAT from a few smudges.......
I believed (and still do) that people should learn to live their lives and keep God in the picture instead of micromanaging every detail to give the APPEARANCE that God was there.
Didn't mean to imply you were like that, Dooj. I can tell from your posts that you're not. In recent years at twi, it's about the only thing the WC do... I've just seen so much of it. People so caught up with little microscopic details that they completely go bezerk when something is slightly wrong. They miss too much of real life. They can't even teach anymore because the BOD are so OCD that everything is micromanaged to death. No spontanaity. They wouldn't know what to do if something spiritual not planned actually happened.
Don't think that would describe you well at all, Dooj!
Didn't mean to imply you were like that, Dooj. I can tell from your posts that you're not. In recent years at twi, it's about the only thing the WC do... I've just seen so much of it. People so caught up with little microscopic details that they completely go bezerk when something is slightly wrong. They miss too much of real life. They can't even teach anymore because the BOD are so OCD that everything is micromanaged to death. No spontanaity. They wouldn't know what to do if something spiritual not planned actually happened.
Don't think that would describe you well at all, Dooj!
They taught about Phariseeism so much that they finally became the Pharisees....
Boy, I remember having to write letters to sponsors and knowing that I was expected (either by them or by leadership) to state what great and spiritual things I had been learning through the corps training. It was often a struggle, because I didn't want to over-spiritualize what was really going on day to day... I often decided just to relate something that had blessed me or made me laugh or something like that. Looking back now, it probably made for better letters, but at the time I felt so condemned about it!!!
See, I haven't read all seven pages of posts, so forgive me if this has been stated.
For me, the way international completely killed all creativity in pursuit of my "spiritual goals." That meant following all the classes, activities, programs, there were to follow. I did have a limb coordinator who was a musician and forcefully encouraged me to play with another fellow who could sing and play guitar. We did some lame acoustic tunes at a limb meeting. Sort of like Carly Simon meets Arnie Athlete - mind you I like Carly Simon at times. Anyways, I could never just pick up my instrument of my own accord - more specifically I never wanted too. And today I think I understand why.
The way international, by way of their cultish teachings to never confess a negative, to "control" our emotions, stamped out the creative spark because creativity is an artists way of expressing how they feel. Most people are really good at using words. Artists use words as well but are have learned to use other mediums of communication that non-artists and artists alike can relate to. Thus, giving art it's value.
Emotions are not meant to be denied, or suppressed - they are meant to be expressed. Even the bible says be angry and sin not. It's when a person has no outlet for how they feel and instead suppress themselves that things eventually get nasty.
The way international says that emotions give color to life, put the fire in our convictions. Nope. That was only an excuse to yell and abuse each other in the name of God. They are much more than that. They are part of us. To deny them is to deny ourselves! To try and bottle them without giving them a constructive outlet is unhealthy at best.
Never saw this thread before, but I have read it all.
What a tragic waste of talent and ability. Desperate that our God-given abilities and talents were beaten out of us, or squashed to within a thread of themselves.
I'm just thinking now - in study hall, perhaps more good would have been done if instead of endless rehashing of FNC, SNS, CN and other tapes - or cancelling and sending us off to chop wood - if they'd given us a box of paints and told us to paint and draw like little kids in school (I say that because some people would say they have no artistic ability).
Or given us proper singing lessons (not how to wave the arms around supposedly leading a song).
Or if, for one's "research paper" those who were artists couldn't have produced a painting illustrating something of value to them, that they'd learned whilst in rez.
Think of all the latent talent that could have been unearthed.
Glad those of you who have artistic abilities are finding your metier again.
I dont know how I missed this thread the first time around. I know that it took me several years out of TWI to open up to a real sense of creativity...even now nearly 25 years later it seems to be a constant challenge to find that place consistantly where real artistic inspiration happens.
I dont blame TWI for that any longer, although it took me quite awhile to change my approach after being involved with them, but they certainly didnt help me to understand the creative process any.
I am a working artist so I do know how to plug on and do the work which itself can sometimes bring the fire of inspiration into play.
Sometimes but not always...The muses remain mysterious and dont carry a set schedule or pattern--at least in my world.
After 30 years of working I still dont know the absolutely foolproof magic bullet. When lightening does strike --even if for only a moment I know that is worth completely exploring no matter what anyone (including myself) has to say about it.
Thankfully Im not surrounded by TWI'ers or many other know it alls anymore...Creativity and listening to hear that still small voice of inspiration is hard enough for me already without them to upend and thwart the process
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chockfull
We still get Hoho cards - like I want to see their fugly mugs. Somehow mine got thrown out before I could realize the true Photoshop value encased therein. But that there is a good idea!!!!! Maybe
JavaJane
Just an update... I now own and run my own business which involves a lot of culinary creativity... AND I joined the choir at my church. Sang in the Advent Concert. And just finished singing in my
WordWolf
Now THERE was an old story around twi...
It's called "SYNESTHESIA".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia
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GarthP2000
I think another part of what squelched any creativity in TWI was the near obsessive behavior of 'spiritualizing' things; paintings, music, etc. Ie., trying to determine whether or not some music was coming from some 'seed boy' in the music world, or which colors were more 'spiritual' or more 'godly' to use than others.
It got to be almost as funny (read: stupid) as our practice of putting a spiritual meaning on the number of items and stuff.
Overall, as a result, I don't think many of us could figure spirituality out of a paper bag, ... Wierwille included.
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another spot
My grandmother worked as an occupational therapist in a mental hospital when she was living, and was also an artist. She was the director for arts and crafts. I had ample opportunity to see the artwork of the patients during grade school and junior high. The work was every bit as disturbing as the patients. Every painting was dominantly black with little color.
Fast forward to 1992. We are getting ready to run a class. A WC who had a little bit of artistic ability had made posters and since I was a TC and on crew I saw them. Well, they looked exactly like the artwork I’d seen in the mental hospital with very heavy use of black. Now I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to make them since I wasn’t WC and the decision had already been made who would, but I was so shocked I thought I should say something.
Unbeknownst to me, anything Devine Design had come up with had already been cast off as evil and old wine skin. I say “did you know HQ teaches about using black in artwork?” I am thinking surely they must know, they took the ADV class. I caught wrath, screaming and carrying on that lasted two weeks. I never again mentioned black.
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doojable
Most of TWI's paranoia regarding black was a result of ignorance.
I chose to eliminate black from my pallette prior to taking the class - but that was something I chose to do - I wasn't told to do it. Furthermore, I never saw a color as having any spiritual significance - tho I do seem to recall that being done for a season.
I could write pages - but if I do I'll just re-live a time that has long since passed.
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another spot
I agree. I elimated it purely because it has a weird way of deadening colors. I don't have a concern about black other than the way I saw it used by mental patients. My shock about the posters was they had that same weird quality as the work of mental patients.
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HCW
Thanks for the insight another spot.
You know guys, back in the '70's there were almost NO WC to do any artwork for TWI events. There were basically no WC on staff @ HQ even. Its amazing to me how deep the BS went & how different it was from when I worked @ HQ.
I wasn't WC when I came on staff @ HQ & I designed & illustrated The Way Mag for publication to the whole dang ministry!
Our Heart Mag was a ONE color publication & that color was - - god forbid, BLACK!
We transitioned (starting in 1980) the print dept @ HQ from a single color duplication operation to a full color in-house full service printing plant and were one of the top 100 corporate in-house printing operations in the country by the early '80s. The Way Mag won awards and was used by our printer (a company "in the world") as part of their portfolio to show off their capabilities to gain other business.
The improvements made to NK airport to accomodate TWI's Flight Services Dept. made New Kknoxville's airport the top rural airport in the state of Ohio & one of the best in the country. Ambassador One was the first "Super Condor" conversion in the world and made that class of airplane (with a decades old airframe) a true international turbo-prop jet airplane. Amb 1 could take off from NK Airport and fly non-stop to Europe. That made NK an INTERNATIONAL airport.
At one time we WERE "better than the world" in a lot of categories @ HQ. This was before "the great purge" in 1989. Under the guise of "spiritual commitment" Craig got rid of ALL of us who would not bow down and worship him and believe and (to use one of his pet words) "promulgate" his wannabe the great one attitude.
Amen sistern...There were far too many people on staff who didn't have the professional prerequisites to get a similar job as they had @ HQ in a "worldly company." ... and they knew it. They hid behind the "I'm more spiritual than you" thing to just get over on their subordinates.
LCM was the chiefest of these. He had absolutely NO qualifications to become CEO of a $22mil corporation. Actually VPW didn't either. VP, however, at least had the entreprenurial abilities to run the company.
far to many others were just plain ignorant of what they needed to be in the positions they had. Ego took over.
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doojable
And as far as I'm concerned, that describes the double standard of TWI in a nutshell.
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doojable
I just remembered another thing that irked me.
I entered the Corps wanting to receive spiritual training that would help me speak through my art. I knew I'd have to put down my pencils and paint brushes for 4 months - no problem. I knew that was coming and it was fine and expected. I was put in "Sewing." Anyone who knew me would have known that this was not a real talent for me. I had to work at it and overcome some fear - but I got to the point that I was in charge of altering the pants of those men that lost 20-80 lbs and still needed to wear the same pants because the $20/ mo. allowance wasn't enough to buy a new wardrobe. (I actually was in charge of minor alterations for the rental tuxes worn by those men who got ordained when I was at HQ in August of 1983. I did hemming and such.)
OK fine. After 4 months, still nothing having to do with my real talent. Six months still nothing. In fact, it wasn't until the LAST BLOCK OF MY LAST YEAR that I got to be in Devine Design.
In fact, I had training as a conservation framer. When the 11th Corps gave their graduating gift to the campus, it was a remodeling of the snack room. We had art to hang and frame. I was familiar with the party line that we should do everything to the highest standards, so I suggested acid free rag mats for this art. P*t L*nn looked at me with such anger and hatred in her eyes! Her words were, "Well, this isn't a frame shop. We go with what I say."
When it came time to hang the artwork, I wanted to measure and be careful, Once again, the Dragon Lady with the Red Hair gave me that evil stare and just started nailing.
I had strong abilities and talent in two areas, but they were overlooked and poo-poohed. I wish I had a nickel for every person who's strengths and talents were just ignored. I'd be rich.
Yet, if a gal had been found to have secretarial skills, she was working in that department as quick as they could get her in there.
I guess the point I'm not making very well here is that a majority of the artists and writers were not really allowed to persue their gifts and talents. If you could build or provide good manual labor, well then you were in - but all that talk about the artisans and the temple - well it wasn't really practiced. Talent was put on hold. I hate to think about how many folks just abandoned their true talents so that they could impress an MOG.
Oh and today - I've been a professional picture framer for over 22 years. I return to this every summer while school is out. I paint portraits and teach painting and drawing for a living. I'm glad that God is in charge. I'm sorry that these men said that they knew God's heart on the matter.
Rant over - for now.
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TheHighWay
Doojable...
I saw that kind of thing happen over and over again. Not just with people who had artistic abilities and training, but with lots of folks. It was this unwritten rule that if someone had honed their skills in the "natural world" those skills were automatically EVIL, and went unused. And yet, at the same time, other people who had natural-world training and skills got lauded to the skies. I never understood why it was one way for some, and another way for others!!! That always bothered me!!! All I can figure, looking back, is that if they needed your skills, you were praised, and if they thought they didn't need your skills, you got ignored or even criticized for even having the skills and abilities.
And think about it... when it came to assignments (WOW or Corps) people learned not to speak up about what they REALLY wanted, because they KNEW they would get something just the opposite. They shut their mouths and at least knew they had a 50-50 chance of getting assigned somewhere they liked. And if you got something you liked, you figured God was blessing you, and if you got what you hated, you figured you were getting the results of being fearful. What a bunch of hooey!!
Even out on the field, there was that same double standard. When my BCs needed something artsy-craftsy done, I was the first person they called. Or when they needed some music for a special event, it was always me asked to coordinate it, even if I wasn't the performer. Okay, those were skills and trainings I had long before twi. (maybe they thought I had gained them while in-rez?)
But, when the BC put out some incorrect info regarding emails, spam, and viruses, and I immediately notified him privately so he could correct himself. I didn't want him to spread wrong information and perhaps making himself look like a fool in the process! Did I get thanked. No. I got my rear end handed back to me on a platter for questioning the mini-mog!!! (never mind that I work with computers for a living and was RIGHT)
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another spot
Now dooj, here’s what I want to know. Did you send letters to your sponsors about the incredible spiritual learning you got from sewing?
I used to get letters from people I sponsored about the great spiritual things that could be gleaned from cleaning windows and bathrooms. Now here’s the thing. I’ve cleaned bathrooms and windows for years, and not once have I ever learned even a small, minor spiritual thing from doing it. No amazing revelation. No nothing. I cleaned and I waited. Never happened.
Does this mean I am just not spiritually heavy? Below par?
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doojable
another spot,
No, I never sent letters stating the great spiritual perceptions I was gaining while learning sewing. It wasn't/isn't my style to make up stuff like that.
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another spot
Just teasing, dooj. Next time I'll use the smiley deal...
I really did get letters like that though.
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JavaJane
Some one at HQ once showed me that because they had polished the furniture so much they had actually made the furniture sticky and damaged teh finish.
I think there might be a lesson there.
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doojable
Actually another spot, I wasn't joking..THERE WERE those who would talk about all the "learned':
("OH today I learned you have to be detail-minded...."- as if they didn't know that already - The best "learning" came when the said something like, "I clean these windows everyday even if they don't need them - I can see how sometimes I don't think I need to be forgiven but Father forgives me anyway...." PUKE!)
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another spot
Man, dooj. That sounds just exactly like those letters!
I remember a time we were about to start a class. A WC went nuts because there was a smudge on the window. He started yelling, "that can keep the students from receiving the Word!!!!"
Okay..........
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JavaJane
What do you call someone with obsessive compulsive disorder wearing a nametag and holding a Bible?
Way Corps.
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doojable
Ahem...I was WC- and I was not like that. I cringed when I heard that sort of stuff.
Of course, I was told I wouldn't go very far as a leader either. They could tell all THAT from a few smudges.......
I believed (and still do) that people should learn to live their lives and keep God in the picture instead of micromanaging every detail to give the APPEARANCE that God was there.
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JavaJane
Didn't mean to imply you were like that, Dooj. I can tell from your posts that you're not. In recent years at twi, it's about the only thing the WC do... I've just seen so much of it. People so caught up with little microscopic details that they completely go bezerk when something is slightly wrong. They miss too much of real life. They can't even teach anymore because the BOD are so OCD that everything is micromanaged to death. No spontanaity. They wouldn't know what to do if something spiritual not planned actually happened.
Don't think that would describe you well at all, Dooj!
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doojable
They taught about Phariseeism so much that they finally became the Pharisees....
Their new motto should be:
"We have seen the enemy and he is us."
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TheHighWay
Boy, I remember having to write letters to sponsors and knowing that I was expected (either by them or by leadership) to state what great and spiritual things I had been learning through the corps training. It was often a struggle, because I didn't want to over-spiritualize what was really going on day to day... I often decided just to relate something that had blessed me or made me laugh or something like that. Looking back now, it probably made for better letters, but at the time I felt so condemned about it!!!
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JavaJane
Bump.
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OldSkool
See, I haven't read all seven pages of posts, so forgive me if this has been stated.
For me, the way international completely killed all creativity in pursuit of my "spiritual goals." That meant following all the classes, activities, programs, there were to follow. I did have a limb coordinator who was a musician and forcefully encouraged me to play with another fellow who could sing and play guitar. We did some lame acoustic tunes at a limb meeting. Sort of like Carly Simon meets Arnie Athlete - mind you I like Carly Simon at times. Anyways, I could never just pick up my instrument of my own accord - more specifically I never wanted too. And today I think I understand why.
The way international, by way of their cultish teachings to never confess a negative, to "control" our emotions, stamped out the creative spark because creativity is an artists way of expressing how they feel. Most people are really good at using words. Artists use words as well but are have learned to use other mediums of communication that non-artists and artists alike can relate to. Thus, giving art it's value.
Emotions are not meant to be denied, or suppressed - they are meant to be expressed. Even the bible says be angry and sin not. It's when a person has no outlet for how they feel and instead suppress themselves that things eventually get nasty.
The way international says that emotions give color to life, put the fire in our convictions. Nope. That was only an excuse to yell and abuse each other in the name of God. They are much more than that. They are part of us. To deny them is to deny ourselves! To try and bottle them without giving them a constructive outlet is unhealthy at best.
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Twinky
Never saw this thread before, but I have read it all.
What a tragic waste of talent and ability. Desperate that our God-given abilities and talents were beaten out of us, or squashed to within a thread of themselves.
I'm just thinking now - in study hall, perhaps more good would have been done if instead of endless rehashing of FNC, SNS, CN and other tapes - or cancelling and sending us off to chop wood - if they'd given us a box of paints and told us to paint and draw like little kids in school (I say that because some people would say they have no artistic ability).
Or given us proper singing lessons (not how to wave the arms around supposedly leading a song).
Or if, for one's "research paper" those who were artists couldn't have produced a painting illustrating something of value to them, that they'd learned whilst in rez.
Think of all the latent talent that could have been unearthed.
Glad those of you who have artistic abilities are finding your metier again.
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mstar1
I dont know how I missed this thread the first time around. I know that it took me several years out of TWI to open up to a real sense of creativity...even now nearly 25 years later it seems to be a constant challenge to find that place consistantly where real artistic inspiration happens.
I dont blame TWI for that any longer, although it took me quite awhile to change my approach after being involved with them, but they certainly didnt help me to understand the creative process any.
I am a working artist so I do know how to plug on and do the work which itself can sometimes bring the fire of inspiration into play.
Sometimes but not always...The muses remain mysterious and dont carry a set schedule or pattern--at least in my world.
After 30 years of working I still dont know the absolutely foolproof magic bullet. When lightening does strike --even if for only a moment I know that is worth completely exploring no matter what anyone (including myself) has to say about it.
Thankfully Im not surrounded by TWI'ers or many other know it alls anymore...Creativity and listening to hear that still small voice of inspiration is hard enough for me already without them to upend and thwart the process
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