abusive doctrines, they weren't just WRONG

[another spot]

I believe a lot of the “doctrines” of twi caused hard heartedness and were in reality abusive. Understatement. At the top of the list, of course, would be the law of believing. For example, I had a friend (early 30’s) with 3 young children. Her husband was killed in a car crash on the way to work. She was devastated because she really loved him. What greatly multiplied her grief was she convinced it happened either because of her believing, her husband’s or a combination. She couldn’t get emotional closure because she didn’t know the answer. She didn’t get much emotional support from the leadership because of the believing aspect of it and because she didn’t just renew her mind and get over it. She had only been a grad for about 6 mos. She was about the saddest woman I’ve ever known.

Then there was just the day to day living where the only thing acceptable was the impossible and we just couldn’t ever believe enough to satisfy their demands. A good example for this one was the time we were on our way to AC weekend. Our car broke down on the highway many miles from anywhere. In the middle of the summer. In the middle of a desert. My husband walked about 10 mi and finally got to a phone. The temperature was 115 degrees. He called the LC. We were not offered any help or a ride because you know, the car wouldn’t have broken down if we’d been believing and we would just have to believe to get out of it. My husband then had to walk the 10 mi back with no water to drink while we waited for the tow truck. We got a cold shoulder for the weekend.

I am fully aware I am not saying anything new or different. The purpose of this thread is to identify not just wrong doctrine, but get specific about what ones were destructive and why. I would also like to identify the resulting hard heartedness. It wasn’t just the emphasis on knowledge vs love that made twi so abusive.

Probably the short answer is: all of them.

[rascal]

Spot...there were so many.

I am so sorry about what happened to that poor woman who lost her spouse.

That lc should have had his arse kicked. I cannot imagine not sending out help. That is pretty rotten even for twi standards.

I have no time to go into detail right now...but a few off the top of my head...

Obedience to leadership = obedience to God

lack of obedience to leadership= stiff necked and hard heartedness to God=destruction

5 senses are at emnity with God means ignore all instincts and good sense.

God only works through your husband means you lose your spiritual connection when you get married.

Wife submit to your husband means put up with whatever bad behavior he choses to inflict on his family. Endure stoically with a smile and prayer.

Women all belong to the king means the mog`s screw like bunnies.

All things are lawfull to them which are in christ means do anything you please to whomever you please ..legally or otherwise as long as you don`t get caught

Life begins with first breath means abortion is an acceptible form of birth control

Family is worldly, they are convenient conduits for satan to trick us off the word

Sickness is from satan...means that if you are sick, you have blosn it somewhere or are posessed.

Bad things happen because you left a door open spiritually...

All of these teachings have had unpleasant consequences in my life. Each a sad story in and of themselves.

Edited April 18, 2007 by rascal

[another spot]

Yep, Rascal, there were a lot. You listed some good ones I hadn't thought about. I hope you elaborate on the 5 senses one and any others you care to. I am using personal, painful, and even embarrasing examples because I am seeking to avoid a purely intectual discussion or doctrinal debate. From my point of view, TWI HURT and I am just now starting to see it and understand it.

Renewed mind. Just change your mind…Don’t feel pain. Don’t grieve and heal naturally. Just you know, change your mind. Flip a switch. There some parts of this I currently agree with (who knows what I will think tomorrow). I do know when I dwell (brood) about negative things it really does put me in a bad mood. But, sometimes brooding is a good thing for reasonable amounts of time. When I have anxiety I am usually better off to think about the positives of God, but only after I have addressed the anxiety. Sometimes fear is a warning to pay attention. In general, I think this caused me to lack normal emotion.

This turning off emotion in favor of strict obedience (no matter HOW contrary to your feelings) is much more destructive than it sounds on the surface. So I will take a deep breath (REAL deep) and admit something I did, which I have not done before. Ever. Something I am deeply and profoundly ashamed of.

My middle son was 15. First semester as a sophomore. He didn’t want to be in twi anymore. My lc said to find him somewhere else to live. I did it. I sent him to live with his adult older brother. I did this thing and I am a woman who absolutely treasured her children. The justification by leadership was the weakness brings down strength thing. Our home would be over run by devil spirits. A year later when we became M&A, and I found Waydale, I called my son and told him about lcm and the lawsuits. Even tho he didn’t want to be in twi anymore he still had fear and guilt about it. That set him free. We are ok now. My son and I with each other. But I still have guilt, which leads me to…

Obey the leadership. This is a fun one. There is nothing like being in the backseat of your own life while someone else drives and insists on driving on the wrong side of the road. Lords over the flock…abuse of power. This one is so well documented I don’t feel like talking about it except to say becoming M&A was without exception the most traumatic, horrific experience of my life. Was I going to die? Were my children or spouse? Obviously God was deeply disappointed with me…I know of at one person who became M&A and was contemplating suicide. I don’t know if she did or not because we were M&A shortly after. Waydale saved my whole family.

DWA/spiritual competition. The devil was all powerful and devil spirits behind every door. Major source of abuse. A guy came on to me once and later reported the reverse happened. My tc decided I had a seducing spirit. I had to go to months of counseling going over CF & S….I was scared to death and felt lower than an ant’s butt. This was during my first year in twi. I remember being puzzled when it was all over because my thoughts were no different than they were to start with. I couldn’t identify a single way I was different and I only realized years later the truth of the matter.

I have said enough for one day.

[rascal]

Spot, I edited my post above while you were typing...I hope that you saw my sorrow for that poor woman.

My outrage for the callous treatment of you guys in what I see as a life threatening situation.

I agree with your sentence...*twi HURT* period.

It is stunning to know those who we trusted to be Godly and who promised to have our best interests at heart were so cruel and calloused.

[Ham]

and lest we forget "never stop taking your medication".

unless:

the medication is an antidepressant. We all just KNOW that people should be able to fix that little "weakness" in the mind with da verd.. besides, you really oughten not to be possessed around here..

or the "leader" was just too damn nosey. I've heard them inquire into people's supposed health and welfare, and sarcastically ask, "why are you taking THAT?" ahem, well, maybe because the doc thought it might get me better or something.

I've seen people not be able to take a stinking aspirin in peace.

Seems any GOOD doctrine or thought was violated like there was no tomorrow.

[bliss]

Here is an example from just this weekend, in stark contrast to your story of the woman who lost her husband.............

My girlfriend from church, her husband too was killed Friday on the way home from work............2 kids, baby on the way...........

Let me just say, that the outpouring of love and support for this friend has me thanking God for being out of the Way!

She has not been left alone for a minute, she has constant meals, childcare, prayers, prayers and more prayers, support, love, and house cleaning.................

constant love.

no condemnation

no guilt

no shunning going on

only L O V E!

Just the way God said to!

My heart aches for those who had to go through a tragedy ALONE, while thinking they weren't loved or worthy to be prayed for or given help, by the very people who claim to love them. Shame shame.....

I just had to get this out.........I have to go to a funeral now and hold my friends hand..................... :(

[coolchef]

bliss

how nice for the love your friend is getting

and how tragic

spot

so sorry for what you had to deal with in the name of godliness and love

yes the did/does SUC!

i wish i were the man i knew to be HA!

or what ever

he was the snake he wanted to be and he sucked too

[skyrider]

This one is so well documented I don’t feel like talking about it except to say becoming M&A was without exception the most traumatic, horrific experience of my life. Was I going to die? Were my children or spouse? Obviously God was deeply disappointed with me…I know of at one person who became M&A and was contemplating suicide. I don’t know if she did or not because we were M&A shortly after. Waydale saved my whole family.

Waydale posters.......did you hear that?

WAYDALE SAVED MY WHOLE FAMILY

[excathedra]

dear another spot, i'm so sad and sorry

Renewed mind. Just change your mind…Don’t feel pain.

this is something you do to bury very bad things that happened to you when you were little

it's not good to continue with it

[polar bear]

Hardhearted. That's it in a nutshell.

In fact I'd rather be governed by Nazi's at least yoiu knew where they were coming from.

Anything that went wrong was due to your lack of preparation.

They would say preparation is the highest form of belieiving as their catch phrase for eveything.

What a crock, everyone was walking around on pins and needles.