The bear and the hunter (racy joke)

[doojable]

Two hunters are out in the woods on a hunting expedition. They spy a bear and take aim. Both men miss and the bear pursues them for a long time.

One hunter escaped and swore off hunting because that was just too dang close for comfort. The bear caught up with the second hunter - Carl:

The bear stops and says, "Hey! You shot at me! The way I see it you have a choice between two things. Either I maim and kill you now and feed on your carcass for a while, OR you lean up against the tree stump over there and let me have my way with you."

Carl considers this and decides that as unpleasant as this is, he'd rather live to hunt another day. So, he does as the bear instructed him and lets the bear "do" him.

Afterwards, Carl starts to become enraged over the events of that day. He determines that he is going to kill this bear and get some sense of dignity back. The next week he goes to the same spot and goes bear hunting. He spies the bear, shoots and misses. The bear walks up to him and just points to the stump. Now Carl is fuming.

Next week, the same thing. The bear says, "Assume the position, Carl." Carl is now so angry he just can't stand it.

Another week passes. This time Carl is determined to get that dang bear. Once again he takes aim. Once again he misses. The bear walks up to him and says,

"You're not coming here for the hunting, are you Carl?"

[rhino]

This is really not really about Carl is it? Is it about why you come to Greasespot? Bad Doojie ...

[doojable]

This is really not really about Carl is it? Is it about why you come to Greasespot? Bad Doojie ...

Rhino......Why whatever do you mean? (blink blink)

I don't go bear hunting.....I do like having fun...

[GarthP2000]

A young hunter goes up to Alaska to bear hunt, and he goes to an experienced bear hunter to get ther best tips on bear hunting. Well, the old geezer takes the young guy hunting with him to show him, so he says to the youth, "The main things we're going to take with us on this bear hunt are the following: a hunting rifle, a baseball bat, rope, and my dog." Young guy asks why.

"Well, this is the way I do it. I chase the bear up a tree, and when I catch up to him, I swing at him with the baseball bat, and knock him out of the tree. The bear falls to the ground, and then my dog here runs up and *bites* him on the genitals. When the bear is thus immobilized, you run up and tie the bear up, and there you have your bear."

"Wow!", says the young guy. "That's neat! ... But why do we need to bring along the gun for?"

"Because," the older man replied, "if I go up the tree, swing at the bear and miss, and fall out of the tree, ..... SHOOT THAT DAMN DOG!!!"