When I married a fellow wow, I thought that it would be a piece of cake but instead, it was a poop sandwich
We had clashing personalities, different goals, and NEVER should have been married. We both thought that having twi in common and the teaching on "any two belivers yada yada yada"...would be enough...it was not only NOT enough, it was the main cause of our downfall!...Twi ruined many marriages.
Oh well, I see you gave me credit in the other thread. This takes on a WHOLE NEW DIMENSION! Omg, how many times have I heard this crap thrown at me. As long as we both "believe" (In the way stuff) our marriage will work.
I saw people getting married off like there was some giant lottery for wives going on. How many of these marriages lasted? Yeah, I don't want kids, I like dogs, you are physically repulsing to the point where I would have to be totally wasted to want to sleep with you but Hey! We both took PFAL!
Thank God my young mind rejected that crap. I guess I was high.
quote: The point is, does any organization have a right to dictate who their members may date or marry?
I heard on the radio recently that Orthodox Jews still arrange marriages with a divorce rate at a whopping one percent.
Hey, my Mom was married to my Dad till the day he died. He was a jerk (to use a nice name) The Catholic Church discouraged divorce. Somebody should have killed that a**hole, as far as I'm concerned.
Staying married in a bad marriage doesnt' prove nothen, my freind.
Did I say discouraged? They told her she was going to hell, and my dad's abuse was his right as a MAN. GRUNT! Yeah, this really happened.
Oh yeah, I lived out this insanity 3 times, although I will say husband 1 was already in place when we took PFA-hell. It's unfortunate that he just couldn't seem to grasp that he had to actually WORK hard to take care of his family. Husbands 2 & 3, interestingly, had an aversion to work, as well. I realized that if you are a college-educated female with a decent-paying career, then you are a magnet for "believers" who think they are too spiritual to work. They'd rather be at home "working the Word", or maybe, just maybe occasionally go wash windows to look like they're helping out. Of course, this was my experience - but I did read in the paper about a year ago that there are more men looking for "sugar mamas" than ever, so maybe it wasn't just a twi phenomenon. In any event, I'm done with all that & can support myself just fine. Being in the same corrupt organization, taking the same error-laden classes, getting incompetent "counseling", ad nauseum, did nothing to enhance the relationships or guarantee the marriages.
By the way, #1 is remarried & mooching off his wealthy wife, #2 is dead, & #3 lives with dear old mom. Sucks to be them!
When I married a fellow wow, I thought that it would be a piece of cake but instead, it was a poop sandwich
We had clashing personalities, different goals, and NEVER should have been married. We both thought that having twi in common and the teaching on "any two belivers yada yada yada"...would be enough...it was not only NOT enough, it was the main cause of our downfall!...Twi ruined many marriages.
aarrrghhh.
My wife and I recently each came to our own conclusion that twi is poo-poo. Now we've suddenly realized we need to rethink what marriage is. How to define our marriage (not to mention who the hell we are individually) is a challenge. We got married intending to go Corps. We were raised in twi "knowing" that the purpose of marriage is for witnessing.
We agree twi is a cult. But all our fights seem to revolve around twi.
We're considering getting remarried under a different church so as to start over.
My wife and I recently each came to our own conclusion that twi is poo-poo. Now we've suddenly realized we need to rethink what marriage is. How to define our marriage (not to mention who the hell we are individually) is a challenge. We got married intending to go Corps. We were raised in twi "knowing" that the purpose of marriage is for witnessing.
We agree twi is a cult. But all our fights seem to revolve around twi.
We're considering getting remarried under a different church so as to start over.
Don't despair, my young friend.
We still haven't heard from the ones who DID succeed, despite this silly idea.
I married my WOW sister in '83. It wasn't an arranged deal, but I did go into it very naive and believing the "any two believers" thing.
I think the only reason we stayed together as long as we did was because divorce seemed pretty much taboo in twi. We got out in '99 and divorced in '01. She left me with the kids and sees them now and then at her convenience. But I'm doing well now.
Getting out of twi and getting divorced from her were two similar experiences. It's nice to be able to think for myself and not get yelled at daily.
quote: Hey, my Mom was married to my Dad till the day he died. He was a jerk (to use a nice name) The Catholic Church discouraged divorce. Somebody should have killed that a**hole, as far as I'm concerned.
Staying married in a bad marriage doesnt' prove nothen, my freind.
Did I say discouraged? They told her she was going to hell, and my dad's abuse was his right as a MAN. GRUNT! Yeah, this really happened.
I'm curious. How do you think it would have affected you personally if your parents had divorced? Were you too young to give any meaningful input? Most children of divorced parents blame themselves. Could your mom have been looking out for you? Right as a man? Jeez.
By the way, good to see your Rott on the pages again. I post as sporadically as I always have, but it seems that you haven't been around much lately.
Yep, me too......... sigh~ I believed it at one point .... then realized there is more to life than I realized... TWI doesn't know the answers to life... their 'take' on it all is limited and prejudice, limiting individuals, and stifling true growth.....
To be brutally honest with you, my dad could have gotten killed at any point in his sorry a** life and I don't think I would have cared. He didn't know how to love and he didn't want to know how to love. I had a lot of anger towards my Mom for being weak and staying with him. I know times were harder back then, but I've since talked to other women who left their abusive husbands for the sake of the kids. Even in the ancient old days when the Catholic Church ruled. They still did it.
But I love my Mom dearly now. And I actually can feel some sort of love for my poor dad, who will have to answer to God someday. I can't help him out there.
What a mess. Totally different personalities. Totally different approaches to life, except "twi rules" as our over-riding philosophy. I struggled to suppress the real me, in order to defer to the head of the household. I grew steadily miserable, he remained willfully clueless and do-less.
Bottom line, over time I changed and he didn't. I chose to stop swallowing every piece of crap twi dished out and I stopped suppressing it when I had doubts and questions. He didn't like it. Drew a line in the sand. I turned on my heel and walked away.
I lived it too. It was difficult to hold it together under twi conditions. Our personalities, our likes and dislikes, didn`t matter so much when twi rules were what we subjected ourselves to.
Once out, it made a huge difference. He was practical, frugal, and a health nut, I was an animal lover/rescuer, junk food junkie. He was a drinker, I was a tea totaller... I never lived up to his standards of what was important, he never allowed me to be who I really was....shrug
It has been heartbreakingly difficult through the years to find a middle ground that both can live with....sigh you are always left wondering what might have been had you married a more compatible person, rather than the one that was acceptible according to the twi criteria.
I think that we both would have made excellent spouses ...to other people.
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RottieGrrrl
Hey you stole my thread idea! More thoughts on this later. Great thread btw.
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GrouchoMarxJr
Remember it?...I lived it!
When I married a fellow wow, I thought that it would be a piece of cake but instead, it was a poop sandwich
We had clashing personalities, different goals, and NEVER should have been married. We both thought that having twi in common and the teaching on "any two belivers yada yada yada"...would be enough...it was not only NOT enough, it was the main cause of our downfall!...Twi ruined many marriages.
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RottieGrrrl
Oh well, I see you gave me credit in the other thread.
This takes on a WHOLE NEW DIMENSION! Omg, how many times have I heard this crap thrown at me. As long as we both "believe" (In the way stuff) our marriage will work.
I saw people getting married off like there was some giant lottery for wives going on. How many of these marriages lasted? Yeah, I don't want kids, I like dogs, you are physically repulsing to the point where I would have to be totally wasted to want to sleep with you but Hey! We both took PFAL!
Thank God my young mind rejected that crap. I guess I was high.
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johniam
quote: The point is, does any organization have a right to dictate who their members may date or marry?
I heard on the radio recently that Orthodox Jews still arrange marriages with a divorce rate at a whopping one percent.
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waysider
Sorry!
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RottieGrrrl
Hey, my Mom was married to my Dad till the day he died. He was a jerk (to use a nice name) The Catholic Church discouraged divorce. Somebody should have killed that a**hole, as far as I'm concerned.
Staying married in a bad marriage doesnt' prove nothen, my freind.
Did I say discouraged? They told her she was going to hell, and my dad's abuse was his right as a MAN. GRUNT! Yeah, this really happened.
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RottieGrrrl
Don't be sorry, waysider, I'm glad you got this topic rolling. It's a different spin and something I'm interested to see the responses on!
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Free Soul
Oh yeah, I lived out this insanity 3 times, although I will say husband 1 was already in place when we took PFA-hell. It's unfortunate that he just couldn't seem to grasp that he had to actually WORK hard to take care of his family. Husbands 2 & 3, interestingly, had an aversion to work, as well. I realized that if you are a college-educated female with a decent-paying career, then you are a magnet for "believers" who think they are too spiritual to work. They'd rather be at home "working the Word", or maybe, just maybe occasionally go wash windows to look like they're helping out. Of course, this was my experience - but I did read in the paper about a year ago that there are more men looking for "sugar mamas" than ever, so maybe it wasn't just a twi phenomenon. In any event, I'm done with all that & can support myself just fine. Being in the same corrupt organization, taking the same error-laden classes, getting incompetent "counseling", ad nauseum, did nothing to enhance the relationships or guarantee the marriages.
By the way, #1 is remarried & mooching off his wealthy wife, #2 is dead, & #3 lives with dear old mom. Sucks to be them!
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RottieGrrrl
Free Soul (cool name btw) thanks for sharing that. More thoughts on your post later, but damn. Thanks so much for sharing that.
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Bolshevik
aarrrghhh.
My wife and I recently each came to our own conclusion that twi is poo-poo. Now we've suddenly realized we need to rethink what marriage is. How to define our marriage (not to mention who the hell we are individually) is a challenge. We got married intending to go Corps. We were raised in twi "knowing" that the purpose of marriage is for witnessing.
We agree twi is a cult. But all our fights seem to revolve around twi.
We're considering getting remarried under a different church so as to start over.
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excathedra
good luck bolsh
--
rottie
free soul
i hear ya's
--
ps. with the renewed mind, you can marry anything
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Lizzy
I don't think they should. It is just another way to control.
Years of life wasted trying to make it work with the wrong person and then trying to force oneself not to look back at it with negative thought.
Trying to look back and see what good was there so you don't get so depressed over wasted time with the wrong person.
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waysider
Don't despair, my young friend.
We still haven't heard from the ones who DID succeed, despite this silly idea.
(And I know for a fact that there are some.)
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excathedra
true many stayed together
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outintexas
I married my WOW sister in '83. It wasn't an arranged deal, but I did go into it very naive and believing the "any two believers" thing.
I think the only reason we stayed together as long as we did was because divorce seemed pretty much taboo in twi. We got out in '99 and divorced in '01. She left me with the kids and sees them now and then at her convenience. But I'm doing well now.
Getting out of twi and getting divorced from her were two similar experiences. It's nice to be able to think for myself and not get yelled at daily.
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johniam
quote: Hey, my Mom was married to my Dad till the day he died. He was a jerk (to use a nice name) The Catholic Church discouraged divorce. Somebody should have killed that a**hole, as far as I'm concerned.
Staying married in a bad marriage doesnt' prove nothen, my freind.
Did I say discouraged? They told her she was going to hell, and my dad's abuse was his right as a MAN. GRUNT! Yeah, this really happened.
I'm curious. How do you think it would have affected you personally if your parents had divorced? Were you too young to give any meaningful input? Most children of divorced parents blame themselves. Could your mom have been looking out for you? Right as a man? Jeez.
By the way, good to see your Rott on the pages again. I post as sporadically as I always have, but it seems that you haven't been around much lately.
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SafariVista
Yep, me too......... sigh~ I believed it at one point .... then realized there is more to life than I realized... TWI doesn't know the answers to life... their 'take' on it all is limited and prejudice, limiting individuals, and stifling true growth.....
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RottieGrrrl
johniam thanx for the welcome!
To be brutally honest with you, my dad could have gotten killed at any point in his sorry a** life and I don't think I would have cared. He didn't know how to love and he didn't want to know how to love. I had a lot of anger towards my Mom for being weak and staying with him. I know times were harder back then, but I've since talked to other women who left their abusive husbands for the sake of the kids. Even in the ancient old days when the Catholic Church ruled. They still did it.
But I love my Mom dearly now. And I actually can feel some sort of love for my poor dad, who will have to answer to God someday. I can't help him out there.
Now back to our regulary scheduled thread........
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polar bear
A short answer-hell no.
Who gives anyone the right to tell you who you should and shouldn't marry. Only religious nut bars.
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johniam
Nowadays if you're not taking some of your marching orders from religious nut bars then you're taking them from politically correct nut bars.
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Ham
Can two "believers" make a "marriage" work, by "renewing" of the mind?
Maybe- look at Rosie and Donna..
I don't know if I would want to see the offspring however, with that degree of imbreeding..
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TheHighWay
Ditto to: I lived it.
What a mess. Totally different personalities. Totally different approaches to life, except "twi rules" as our over-riding philosophy. I struggled to suppress the real me, in order to defer to the head of the household. I grew steadily miserable, he remained willfully clueless and do-less.
Bottom line, over time I changed and he didn't. I chose to stop swallowing every piece of crap twi dished out and I stopped suppressing it when I had doubts and questions. He didn't like it. Drew a line in the sand. I turned on my heel and walked away.
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rascal
I lived it too. It was difficult to hold it together under twi conditions. Our personalities, our likes and dislikes, didn`t matter so much when twi rules were what we subjected ourselves to.
Once out, it made a huge difference. He was practical, frugal, and a health nut, I was an animal lover/rescuer, junk food junkie. He was a drinker, I was a tea totaller... I never lived up to his standards of what was important, he never allowed me to be who I really was....shrug
It has been heartbreakingly difficult through the years to find a middle ground that both can live with....sigh you are always left wondering what might have been had you married a more compatible person, rather than the one that was acceptible according to the twi criteria.
I think that we both would have made excellent spouses ...to other people.
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TheHighWay
Oh, so very well said, Rascal !!!!!
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