Eccl. 7:16 - be not righteous over much, neither make thyself over wise. Why shouldest thou destroy thyself.
This is not gender specific. NOBODY can juggle too much authority.
Why is it that us men are always suckered into believing that women are inherently morally superior to us? Was it something our moms instilled in us from birth...continued by teachers....permanently validated when we had sex the first time? Dunno.
In a Christian marriage, the man (1 Cor. 7:4) hath not power over his body, but the wife. Men are physical beings. Everything they are and hope to be is processed through a physical/logical filter. If a woman has authority over a man's body then she also has authority over that man's heart, soul, mind, and strength. This authority has been sufficient for many women historically. But now women want authority over the man's money.
Back in the 60s a lot of women felt that a lot of men had abused their authority over them. They rebelled by burning their bras. The bras were symbolic of any restraints men used over women. Plus those women refused to be "sex objects" and homemakers and other things women did traditionally. Their rebellion had a lot of impact; no question about it. I once read that since 1976 when the ERA passed, women earn $1.01 per hour for every $1.00 made by men. But women still weren't satisfied.
What would happen if men rebelled as women did? They probably wouldn't do the nonsense of burning their wallets, but what if they, too, refused to do what men traditionally have done? No more military service. No more construction work. All the paved roads, bridges, houses, office buildings, autos, planes, trucks, etc. that you women enjoy the use of would have to be built by women now. That would be interesting.
What do men have to lose? Women have already taken our dignity and shattered it; made us into 2nd class citizens. Why COULDN'T men follow the women's example and say to hell with you I don't need you? Ironically, that movie 'Thelma and Louise' portrayed 2 women put in mortal peril just because they wanted a break from their authoritative husbands. Today, I think it would be more true to life if 2 men had peril trying to get a break from their wives!
I think women have proven that they CAN be in authority like men. They've also proven that they can be abusive in authority just like men. Like I said, nobody can juggle too much authority. If you women insist on having authority over men's money, then you just may water down the effectiveness of your authority over their hearts, souls, minds, and strengths. Talk about winning the battle and losing the war!
Wow I wonder what kind of relationships you have been in? I know in my marriage I had very little authority and if I overstepped it I was reprimanded (until the end when I started standing up for myself). If I so much as bought myself a CD I was given hell. Every time I came home with a new outfit for one of the kids I was afraid of the response I might get. In the end I did rebel a bit and bought myself a few CDs and when my ex questioned me I finally didn't cower, and he backed off.
I was married for nearly 13 years and was sick for most of that because the man that was "supposed" to love me didn't trust me to understand my body and felt my trips to the doctors was a waste of money. I finally divorced him and felt free to explore my physical problems and found that I had a tumor in my heart. I would have been dead soon. I don't think that is indicative of my having authority over my man. Heck I didn't even have authority over my own body and its well being.
He also did many things without even consulting me. Quitting the corps being the biggest one, not that I want that distinction anymore but at the time it was the one thing I was most proud of accomplishing. I got home from work to find out I was no longer corps and that there was nothing I could do about it. It was a done deal. But that is only one example of how I was rarely consulted on such decisions, like the first week of marriage when he just disappeared. I was worried, then he returned with new mattresses and a frame. I had no say in that purchase yet I had to sleep on the bed. You are mistaken if you think women have the authority you claim we have.
even in my marriage I made 2/3 of the income but not even 1/2 of the say (until the end that is, when I decided to stop being run like a child.) I don't know many women who have the authority you speak of.
Truly I believe that a man and woman should work together. That no one should necessarily have authority over the other. I feel that each brings to the relationships their strengths and in their area of strength they should be the one that is deferred to. Finally there are always going to be disagreements in every category not just financial, and in those areas the man biblically has the final say if no compromise or synergy is attainable. I will never allow a man to make me feel like a child again.
Finally I would love to be a traditional mom. I would love to be home with my kids and for much of their younger lives I was able to do that on and off because my work as a consultant allowed that. But now it's not possible so I am changing fields and will be teaching in a couple years which will provide me a schedule that somewhat mimics the schedule my kids have. But in all that I am a strong intelligent woman capable of making decisions, and having authority in areas of life.
No one is suggesting that we overrun our men in the category of authority but the idea was posed that a woman should never have authority over a man. And even in the bible there were women who had authority over men.
Gotta love RG. She's one amazing woman. What that woman has had to contend with most of her life and she still stays positive.
Gotta edit this to thank Cowgirl and Rascal for your support on this.
So Rascal what is our place? lol. Donna Reed, pearl wearing, mindless housekeeper and mother. Or is it barefoot and pregnant. It's no wonder I am single. I just can't figure out what my place is.
What would happen if men rebelled as women did? They probably wouldn't do the nonsense of burning their wallets, but what if they, too, refused to do what men traditionally have done? No more military service. No more construction work. All the paved roads, bridges, houses, office buildings, autos, planes, trucks, etc. that you women enjoy the use of would have to be built by women now. That would be interesting.
I just wanted to state something more here. Women are in the military and every day on my way to work I see women working on the highways and in the building trades. We could step up and provide these services. Don't think we can't do this ourselves. That's not really the point. This is not a man woman war. I love men. I want to be a wonderful partner to an awesome man someday. I want that companionship and team work that a couple can have. I want to be holding hands with the man I love when I am in my 70's. But,,,,not to lose myself in the process.
Indeed? Is it a funny thing? As I stated in my previous post, I thought at first John's post was quite sarcastic and meant to be humourous. I defer to the knowledge of my peers on this matter, as the general consensus seems to be that our John was quite serious.
Well, then I shall simply extend my hand in greeting and say hello, John. I've never met an true misogynist before--at least none with guts enough to admit it.
You seem quite a fan of statistics, John. In fact, your remembrance of something you read in 1976 jumps out in particular. So, a woman was earning $1.01 in contrast to a man's $1.00. Those figures of course do seem to negate the effect of the statistics that I posted with a citation as to their source from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, headed oddly enough by a man. I listed professions as well and made comparisons. However, I am a data person, and a cutter if you will, so I will defer to your greater knowledge here...that is if you can back it up with a citation. Such a wicked little pot-stirrer you are! ;)
However, merely for your own, personal delectation, I'll just add a few more numbers. And these should be of particular interest to you, John.
According to the United Nations Human Development Report and UNIFEM:
Women and children make up 70% of the world's poor
Women and children account for 80% of the world's refugees
Women comprise over 2/3 of the world's illiterate population
Women in developing countries are victim's of violence in 1/3 of all families
Women perform 2/3 of the world's work
Women produce, process and market 3/5 of all the world's food
Women own 70% of all small businesses
Women in developing countries repay their loans promptly 97% of the time.
All of this data, I must say, John, seems to lead straight into your hypothesis. Perhaps you're right...perhaps, indeed, this conflict really is about a woman trying to take a man's money...I had no idea I was so wrong. And...yet....
And...yet....
And...yet...
The same source quoted above reports:
Women receive only 10% of the world's income
Women own less than 1% of the world's property.
Forgive me, please, John. I am teasing you. Of course, the data is real and provable, but I know very well that anything I have to say will merely be taken by you as an example of another uppity skirt spouting off at the mouth. So, I should not engage you on a humorous level. In order to share humor and affection, I believe there must first be a strong base of affection and understanding.
I know that when I read certain phrases and words like: "Women have already taken our dignity and shattered it; made us into 2nd class citizens. Why COULDN'T men follow the women's example and say to hell with you I don't need you?"...that the beliefs held by the person writing them are not reachable by anything I would recognize as logic.
So, whatever my disputes may be, I shall press you no further, John, and leave you in the peaceful world which you've built for yourself. You could never have any respect for someone like me, and to simply argue and rant at each other does nothing but eat up Paw's bandwidth.
I think women have proven that they CAN be in authority like men. They've also proven that they can be abusive in authority just like men. Like I said, nobody can juggle too much authority. If you women insist on having authority over men's money, then you just may water down the effectiveness of your authority over their hearts, souls, minds, and strengths. Talk about winning the battle and losing the war!
...so it goes,
we make what we make since the world began.
nothing more; the love of the women,
work of men.
John Barlow
Damn Johniam, I don't know what women did a number on your heart and mind, but you should no more blame all women for the hurt you sustained than a woman should blame all men for hers.
Personally, I have no need to have authority over a man/or men's money. I am perfectly capable of earning, managing, and yes sometimes even mismanaging my own money. So, you can keep yours, I don't need it.
If you ever run for office I want to be in your camp. I'll gladly start at entry level just for the opportunity to learn from you. You rock!
The others here added wonderful things as well but I just had to point out her post. Dang!
John,
You've been exposed to some rough examples of women it sounds and I'm sorry for you for that. Women can be wonderful companions and incredible contributors to the home, workplace and society.
I've grown away from the woman in the kitchen thinking that I carried most of my life and I'm still struggling with my independence but you can ask my hubby and he will tell you quickly that he can't assume for me anymore. Yet I am not a bulldog lording over him. I handle things I am good at and he handles what he is good at. That is fair to us both.
I have come to bat for you more than once over the years but you really need to consider your words and the women here that you are speaking to. We are not bulldogs John, we are women that have for the greater part known abuse and have come out of it stronger and have added to the men in our lives, or will do so to the future men in our lives.
Without a woman or a girl---------James Brown(The Godfather of Soul)
Now, if you like your commentary with a little musical accompaniment,you just might like to check out a group called-----------Saphire: The Uppity Blues Women--------These ladies are world class musicians and pull NO punches when it comes to stating the case for womanhood.
Now, if you like your commentary with a little musical accompaniment,you just might like to check out a group called-----------Saphire: The Uppity Blues Women--------These ladies are world class musicians and pull NO punches when it comes to stating the case for womanhood.
Waysider --- Dang!! You sure picked a *hot* group there!!!
I've never heard of them before -- but they made a LASTING first impression!
Meebe this belongs in the Guitar Thread --- but here they are.
and:
.
(I think I'd be skeert to go to one of their concerts!)
Being a smart a**. By the way, I've been married 18 1/2 yrs. Not bad for a misogynist. I must be a masochist too. I want all you ladies to hate me; that's how I know I'm loved. (twilight zone music)
Freeatlast. Let me give you an example of how I treat my wife. At the time of our wedding she smoked a pack and a half a day. Since my dad died of cigarette related heart failure at 52, I didn't like this. But I never made an issue of it. Once while conversing the subject came up. I said to her, not as an "authority" but as a friend, It (smoking) probably WILL take 5 years off your life." Finally, she quit on her own. She was pregnant and quit by reducing the number of cigs per day by 2 each day and it worked. Been more than 10 yrs now. She had smoked since she was 15 and had developed a cough that sounded really bad. If I had been a jerk to her she may never have quit.
People need their space. Some women in my wife's situation may feel they would be better served by a husband who adamantly demanded that they quit smoking right from the start of the relationship. I'm glad you found out about the tumor in time to live. That must've been awful. QT said "our John". Gosh. You all own me. I'm speechless.
I like the way you handled that situation with your wife and glad to hear you were just been a smart a$$. She must be a special lady to put up with you. lol. Now I am being the smart A$$. Congrats 18 years is a long time this day and time. looking forward to the day you post your 50th wedding anniversary.
See that's what "our John" does. He goes and shows the real man inside and why over the years I have gone to bat for him. But at other times would like to kick him. :mellow:
This is johniam's wife. I think you all have misunderstood what the point John was trying to make. What he (and I) objeact to is this overwhelming attempt by the media, entertainment world, etc. to portray women as not only equal to men (which they certainly are) but as morally superior, wiser, kinder, gentler, etc., while men are these big dumb brutes, barely one step removed from an ape, who routinely think with their penises, and can't be trusted as far as you can throw them. I assure you that John does not regard women as "uppity skirts", but treats them with tremendous respect, and is well aware that women are his intellectual equals (and certainly I am), but there have been many times in our marriage where he has had to fulfill his biblically given role as tie breaker, and I have never found him to be other than fair at those moments. I am sorry for those of you whose experiences clearly show that you were married to bullies who failed to keep the other half of that scripture to love their wives as their own bodies, but were only focussed on the part about wives being in subjection to their own husbands. I assure you that John is well aware that that is a two-way street.
I appreciate your reply to us and see John a little differently thru your eyes now. Although I have tended to give him the benefit of the doubt most times already.
I don't think you'll find many women here that feel about a male in the ways you mentioned.
We do make up a group having been abused in one fashion or another but not all are hardened to men even after our experiences. I personally love the creatures (and that is meant in a good way with a joke included).
We were mishandled under the authority of twi for the greater part and in our personal struggles to get away from that bondage are probably misunderstood at times. But the freedom of not being a second class citizen has been an incredible awakening for most here also.
I think part of the problem has been in some men feeling we that were raped had asked for it in some way so this history between us all includes other aspects also.
I have a group of female friends here that I think rock the moon because they are strong yet tender and they have lived thru the fire and came out with hearts that are still soft despite it. Although that independence can be threatening to some men who need their egos stroked and in those cases it’s really deeper than I am even touching here. For some men the abuse they endured to walk the twi line is still a work in process inside them. And for them I feel they were raped just as much as a physical act.
Well Jean, he may treat you well, but John has a tendency to be a real booger to girls here. He has advocated smacking women around because they don`t know when to shut up. He has in the past accused the women who posted here of abuse in twi of lying. He has a history of demonstrated disdain of women and a denigration of their difficulties in his posts.
For heavens sake, he once called me a pig making farting noises and demanding that I go back to my family that had to put up with me when trying to post here...shrug
Maybe he has changed his positions on some of these issues, I guess we all do. I hope so anyway.
I have always wondered about you, hoping that he treated the women of his family with more kindness and respect than he has chosen to demonstrate to his sisters in Christ here.
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
26
68
41
19
Popular Days
Mar 26
41
Mar 21
35
Mar 14
33
Mar 22
29
Top Posters In This Topic
rascal 26 posts
ChattyKathy 68 posts
FreeAtLast 41 posts
QuietThinker 19 posts
Popular Days
Mar 26 2007
41 posts
Mar 21 2007
35 posts
Mar 14 2007
33 posts
Mar 22 2007
29 posts
johniam
Authority is a funny thing.
Eccl. 7:16 - be not righteous over much, neither make thyself over wise. Why shouldest thou destroy thyself.
This is not gender specific. NOBODY can juggle too much authority.
Why is it that us men are always suckered into believing that women are inherently morally superior to us? Was it something our moms instilled in us from birth...continued by teachers....permanently validated when we had sex the first time? Dunno.
In a Christian marriage, the man (1 Cor. 7:4) hath not power over his body, but the wife. Men are physical beings. Everything they are and hope to be is processed through a physical/logical filter. If a woman has authority over a man's body then she also has authority over that man's heart, soul, mind, and strength. This authority has been sufficient for many women historically. But now women want authority over the man's money.
Back in the 60s a lot of women felt that a lot of men had abused their authority over them. They rebelled by burning their bras. The bras were symbolic of any restraints men used over women. Plus those women refused to be "sex objects" and homemakers and other things women did traditionally. Their rebellion had a lot of impact; no question about it. I once read that since 1976 when the ERA passed, women earn $1.01 per hour for every $1.00 made by men. But women still weren't satisfied.
What would happen if men rebelled as women did? They probably wouldn't do the nonsense of burning their wallets, but what if they, too, refused to do what men traditionally have done? No more military service. No more construction work. All the paved roads, bridges, houses, office buildings, autos, planes, trucks, etc. that you women enjoy the use of would have to be built by women now. That would be interesting.
What do men have to lose? Women have already taken our dignity and shattered it; made us into 2nd class citizens. Why COULDN'T men follow the women's example and say to hell with you I don't need you? Ironically, that movie 'Thelma and Louise' portrayed 2 women put in mortal peril just because they wanted a break from their authoritative husbands. Today, I think it would be more true to life if 2 men had peril trying to get a break from their wives!
I think women have proven that they CAN be in authority like men. They've also proven that they can be abusive in authority just like men. Like I said, nobody can juggle too much authority. If you women insist on having authority over men's money, then you just may water down the effectiveness of your authority over their hearts, souls, minds, and strengths. Talk about winning the battle and losing the war!
...so it goes,
we make what we make since the world began.
nothing more; the love of the women,
work of men.
John Barlow
Edited by johniamLink to comment
Share on other sites
FreeAtLast
Wow I wonder what kind of relationships you have been in? I know in my marriage I had very little authority and if I overstepped it I was reprimanded (until the end when I started standing up for myself). If I so much as bought myself a CD I was given hell. Every time I came home with a new outfit for one of the kids I was afraid of the response I might get. In the end I did rebel a bit and bought myself a few CDs and when my ex questioned me I finally didn't cower, and he backed off.
I was married for nearly 13 years and was sick for most of that because the man that was "supposed" to love me didn't trust me to understand my body and felt my trips to the doctors was a waste of money. I finally divorced him and felt free to explore my physical problems and found that I had a tumor in my heart. I would have been dead soon. I don't think that is indicative of my having authority over my man. Heck I didn't even have authority over my own body and its well being.
He also did many things without even consulting me. Quitting the corps being the biggest one, not that I want that distinction anymore but at the time it was the one thing I was most proud of accomplishing. I got home from work to find out I was no longer corps and that there was nothing I could do about it. It was a done deal. But that is only one example of how I was rarely consulted on such decisions, like the first week of marriage when he just disappeared. I was worried, then he returned with new mattresses and a frame. I had no say in that purchase yet I had to sleep on the bed. You are mistaken if you think women have the authority you claim we have.
even in my marriage I made 2/3 of the income but not even 1/2 of the say (until the end that is, when I decided to stop being run like a child.) I don't know many women who have the authority you speak of.
Truly I believe that a man and woman should work together. That no one should necessarily have authority over the other. I feel that each brings to the relationships their strengths and in their area of strength they should be the one that is deferred to. Finally there are always going to be disagreements in every category not just financial, and in those areas the man biblically has the final say if no compromise or synergy is attainable. I will never allow a man to make me feel like a child again.
Finally I would love to be a traditional mom. I would love to be home with my kids and for much of their younger lives I was able to do that on and off because my work as a consultant allowed that. But now it's not possible so I am changing fields and will be teaching in a couple years which will provide me a schedule that somewhat mimics the schedule my kids have. But in all that I am a strong intelligent woman capable of making decisions, and having authority in areas of life.
No one is suggesting that we overrun our men in the category of authority but the idea was posed that a woman should never have authority over a man. And even in the bible there were women who had authority over men.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
QuietThinker
Hmmm....most interesting post, John...
Before I read FAL's response, I had thought, indeed, that it was posted with quite a large tongue poked in your cheek.
However, I am under the weather, so, perhaps I just missed the point in my little female brain.
Before I expend any energy at all, perhaps you could tell me if you're quite serious.
And, please, type slowly and methodically...
I'm only a woman after all.
Yours thoughfully,
~QT
Link to comment
Share on other sites
RainbowsGirl
I Second all those emotions Dear Free At Last and Quiet Thinker!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cowgirl
Just wanted to say.......VERY WELL PUT, FreeAtLast !!
cowgirl
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
Trust me qt, he IS serious, and he has proudly declared much much worse through the years...
Damn it, if we`d just learn our place, the world would be a better place.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
FreeAtLast
QT you're my hero. lol
Gotta love RG. She's one amazing woman. What that woman has had to contend with most of her life and she still stays positive.
Gotta edit this to thank Cowgirl and Rascal for your support on this.
So Rascal what is our place? lol. Donna Reed, pearl wearing, mindless housekeeper and mother. Or is it barefoot and pregnant. It's no wonder I am single. I just can't figure out what my place is.
Edited by FreeAtLastLink to comment
Share on other sites
FreeAtLast
I just wanted to state something more here. Women are in the military and every day on my way to work I see women working on the highways and in the building trades. We could step up and provide these services. Don't think we can't do this ourselves. That's not really the point. This is not a man woman war. I love men. I want to be a wonderful partner to an awesome man someday. I want that companionship and team work that a couple can have. I want to be holding hands with the man I love when I am in my 70's. But,,,,not to lose myself in the process.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
QuietThinker
Indeed? Is it a funny thing? As I stated in my previous post, I thought at first John's post was quite sarcastic and meant to be humourous. I defer to the knowledge of my peers on this matter, as the general consensus seems to be that our John was quite serious.
Well, then I shall simply extend my hand in greeting and say hello, John. I've never met an true misogynist before--at least none with guts enough to admit it.
You seem quite a fan of statistics, John. In fact, your remembrance of something you read in 1976 jumps out in particular. So, a woman was earning $1.01 in contrast to a man's $1.00. Those figures of course do seem to negate the effect of the statistics that I posted with a citation as to their source from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, headed oddly enough by a man. I listed professions as well and made comparisons. However, I am a data person, and a cutter if you will, so I will defer to your greater knowledge here...that is if you can back it up with a citation. Such a wicked little pot-stirrer you are! ;)
However, merely for your own, personal delectation, I'll just add a few more numbers. And these should be of particular interest to you, John.
According to the United Nations Human Development Report and UNIFEM:
All of this data, I must say, John, seems to lead straight into your hypothesis. Perhaps you're right...perhaps, indeed, this conflict really is about a woman trying to take a man's money...I had no idea I was so wrong. And...yet....
And...yet....
And...yet...
The same source quoted above reports:
Forgive me, please, John. I am teasing you. Of course, the data is real and provable, but I know very well that anything I have to say will merely be taken by you as an example of another uppity skirt spouting off at the mouth. So, I should not engage you on a humorous level. In order to share humor and affection, I believe there must first be a strong base of affection and understanding.
I know that when I read certain phrases and words like: "Women have already taken our dignity and shattered it; made us into 2nd class citizens. Why COULDN'T men follow the women's example and say to hell with you I don't need you?"...that the beliefs held by the person writing them are not reachable by anything I would recognize as logic.
So, whatever my disputes may be, I shall press you no further, John, and leave you in the peaceful world which you've built for yourself. You could never have any respect for someone like me, and to simply argue and rant at each other does nothing but eat up Paw's bandwidth.
Yours regretfully,
~QT
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Abigail
Damn Johniam, I don't know what women did a number on your heart and mind, but you should no more blame all women for the hurt you sustained than a woman should blame all men for hers.
Personally, I have no need to have authority over a man/or men's money. I am perfectly capable of earning, managing, and yes sometimes even mismanaging my own money. So, you can keep yours, I don't need it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
QT,
If you ever run for office I want to be in your camp. I'll gladly start at entry level just for the opportunity to learn from you. You rock!
The others here added wonderful things as well but I just had to point out her post. Dang!
John,
You've been exposed to some rough examples of women it sounds and I'm sorry for you for that. Women can be wonderful companions and incredible contributors to the home, workplace and society.
I've grown away from the woman in the kitchen thinking that I carried most of my life and I'm still struggling with my independence but you can ask my hubby and he will tell you quickly that he can't assume for me anymore. Yet I am not a bulldog lording over him. I handle things I am good at and he handles what he is good at. That is fair to us both.
I have come to bat for you more than once over the years but you really need to consider your words and the women here that you are speaking to. We are not bulldogs John, we are women that have for the greater part known abuse and have come out of it stronger and have added to the men in our lives, or will do so to the future men in our lives.
Kathy
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be NOTHIN'
Without a woman or a girl---------James Brown(The Godfather of Soul)
Now, if you like your commentary with a little musical accompaniment,you just might like to check out a group called-----------Saphire: The Uppity Blues Women--------These ladies are world class musicians and pull NO punches when it comes to stating the case for womanhood.
OK. I guess I got a bit off topic,
sorry.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
dmiller
Waysider --- Dang!! You sure picked a *hot* group there!!!
I've never heard of them before -- but they made a LASTING first impression!
Meebe this belongs in the Guitar Thread --- but here they are.
and:
(I think I'd be skeert to go to one of their concerts!)
Edited by dmillerLink to comment
Share on other sites
johniam
Men who behave rarely make GSC herstory.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
doojable
What? <_<
Just today I was thinking about all the "Rosie the Riveters" from WWII
Here's something about it:
Rosie the Riveter
Edited by doojableLink to comment
Share on other sites
FreeAtLast
John I am not sure if you are joking here or serious.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
johniam
Being a smart a**. By the way, I've been married 18 1/2 yrs. Not bad for a misogynist. I must be a masochist too. I want all you ladies to hate me; that's how I know I'm loved. (twilight zone music)
Freeatlast. Let me give you an example of how I treat my wife. At the time of our wedding she smoked a pack and a half a day. Since my dad died of cigarette related heart failure at 52, I didn't like this. But I never made an issue of it. Once while conversing the subject came up. I said to her, not as an "authority" but as a friend, It (smoking) probably WILL take 5 years off your life." Finally, she quit on her own. She was pregnant and quit by reducing the number of cigs per day by 2 each day and it worked. Been more than 10 yrs now. She had smoked since she was 15 and had developed a cough that sounded really bad. If I had been a jerk to her she may never have quit.
People need their space. Some women in my wife's situation may feel they would be better served by a husband who adamantly demanded that they quit smoking right from the start of the relationship. I'm glad you found out about the tumor in time to live. That must've been awful. QT said "our John". Gosh. You all own me. I'm speechless.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
FreeAtLast
thanks for getting real John.
I like the way you handled that situation with your wife and glad to hear you were just been a smart a$$. She must be a special lady to put up with you. lol. Now I am being the smart A$$. Congrats 18 years is a long time this day and time. looking forward to the day you post your 50th wedding anniversary.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
See that's what "our John" does. He goes and shows the real man inside and why over the years I have gone to bat for him. But at other times would like to kick him. :mellow:
Link to comment
Share on other sites
johniam
Hi, Ladies and Gentlemen;
This is johniam's wife. I think you all have misunderstood what the point John was trying to make. What he (and I) objeact to is this overwhelming attempt by the media, entertainment world, etc. to portray women as not only equal to men (which they certainly are) but as morally superior, wiser, kinder, gentler, etc., while men are these big dumb brutes, barely one step removed from an ape, who routinely think with their penises, and can't be trusted as far as you can throw them. I assure you that John does not regard women as "uppity skirts", but treats them with tremendous respect, and is well aware that women are his intellectual equals (and certainly I am), but there have been many times in our marriage where he has had to fulfill his biblically given role as tie breaker, and I have never found him to be other than fair at those moments. I am sorry for those of you whose experiences clearly show that you were married to bullies who failed to keep the other half of that scripture to love their wives as their own bodies, but were only focussed on the part about wives being in subjection to their own husbands. I assure you that John is well aware that that is a two-way street.
Jeaniam
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
Welcome Jean,
Please return as a poster.
I appreciate your reply to us and see John a little differently thru your eyes now. Although I have tended to give him the benefit of the doubt most times already.
I don't think you'll find many women here that feel about a male in the ways you mentioned.
We do make up a group having been abused in one fashion or another but not all are hardened to men even after our experiences. I personally love the creatures (and that is meant in a good way with a joke included).
We were mishandled under the authority of twi for the greater part and in our personal struggles to get away from that bondage are probably misunderstood at times. But the freedom of not being a second class citizen has been an incredible awakening for most here also.
I think part of the problem has been in some men feeling we that were raped had asked for it in some way so this history between us all includes other aspects also.
I have a group of female friends here that I think rock the moon because they are strong yet tender and they have lived thru the fire and came out with hearts that are still soft despite it. Although that independence can be threatening to some men who need their egos stroked and in those cases it’s really deeper than I am even touching here. For some men the abuse they endured to walk the twi line is still a work in process inside them. And for them I feel they were raped just as much as a physical act.
Kathy
Link to comment
Share on other sites
FreeAtLast
Couldn't say it any better CK.
Jeaniam. That would be a great name as a counterpart to Johniam. Come out and play more often.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
coolchef
jean you sound like a woman of wise wisdom.
thank you
Edited by coolchefLink to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
Well Jean, he may treat you well, but John has a tendency to be a real booger to girls here. He has advocated smacking women around because they don`t know when to shut up. He has in the past accused the women who posted here of abuse in twi of lying. He has a history of demonstrated disdain of women and a denigration of their difficulties in his posts.
For heavens sake, he once called me a pig making farting noises and demanding that I go back to my family that had to put up with me when trying to post here...shrug
Maybe he has changed his positions on some of these issues, I guess we all do. I hope so anyway.
I have always wondered about you, hoping that he treated the women of his family with more kindness and respect than he has chosen to demonstrate to his sisters in Christ here.
Great to hear from you and see the *other* side.
Edited by rascalLink to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.