Are you normal?

[GT]

This is floating around the Internet in various pieces, but I'll give credit to http://www.cyberslayer.co.uk/jokes/joke0946.html

- Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.

- 21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.

- Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their

husbands to do it correctly.

- 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.

- 85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear.

- 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).

- The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B.

- 85% of women wear the wrong bra size.

- 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with

singles leading up to higher denominations.

- 13% of us admit to occassionally doing our offspring's homework.

- 91% of us lie regularly.

- 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.

- 29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store.

- 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid

the high prices of snack foods.

- 90% believe in divine retribution.

- 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.

- 82% believe in an afterlife.

- 45% believe in ghosts.

- 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.

- 29% of us are virgins when we marry.

- 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.

- 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.

- Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.

- 35% give to charity at least once a month.

- How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their

friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.

- 69% eat the cake before the frosting.

- When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.

- 85% of us will eat Spam this year.

- 70% of us drink orange juice daily.

- Snickers is the most popular candy.

- 22% of us skip lunch daily.

- 9% of us skip breakfast daily.

- 66% of us eat cereal regularly.

- 22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.

- 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.

- Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.

- 45% use mouthwash every day.

- 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.

- The typical shower is 101 degrees F.

- Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.

- 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.

- 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.

- 58% of women paint their nails regularly.

- 62% of us pop our zits.

- 33% of women lie about their weight.

- 10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.

- 57% have had deja vu.

- 49% believe in ESP.

- 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.

- The average girl starts her period at age 12.

- 44% have broken a bone.

- Only 30% of us know our cholesterol level.

- 14% have attended a self-help meeting.

- 15% regularly go to a shrink.

- 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.

- 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used

the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up.

- 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.

- 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.

- 23.5% admit they don't always flush.

- 45.2% pee in the shower.

- 44.9% pee in the ocean.

- 28.1% pee in the pool.

- 55.2% will let someone else come in the bathroom while they're sing

the toilet.

- 39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet. 17% have been

caught by the host.

- 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants.

- 29% of us ignore RSVP.

- 71.6% of us eavesdrop.

- 22% are functionally illiterate.

- Less than 10% are trilingual.

- 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.

- 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.

- 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.

- 2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for a night for a

million bucks.

- 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.

- 40% of us have had music lessons.

- 44% reuse tinfoil.

- 57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.

- 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken

credit for doing it from scratch.

- 53% read their horoscopes regularly.

- 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men).

- 59% of us say we're average-looking.

- Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.

- 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.

- 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.

- 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.

- 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.

- On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.

- 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.

- 2 out of 5 have married their first love.

- The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.

- Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.

- 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.

- 6% propose over the phone.

- 71% can drive a stick-shift car.

- 45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit.

- 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.

- 1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.

- 12% of men never use their car blinkers.

- 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.

- 25% of us drive after we've been drinking.

- 4 out of 5 sing in the car.

- The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes.

- Men say the average erect penis is 10". Women say it's 4".

- 56% of men have had sex at work.

- 1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair.

- 62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs.

- 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.

- The most common fantasy is oral sex.

- Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.

- 8% of us have regular anal sex.

- 58% like dirty talk during sex.

- 22% rent porno flicks at least once.

[ex70sHouston]

I know I'm not normal.

1 I died in the ER once.

2. I was shot in the head with a 45. I actually dug the bullet fragments out of my head myself. This does not relate to #1.

3. At 15 I was driving a dump truck before I ever got a drivers licence.

4. I'm a man and do all the family laundry.

5. I'm a man and do 98% of the cooking.

6. And relating to the above you can have my wife for a night for a lot less than $1,000,000.

7. I don't eat cereal. I cook

8. I don't pee in a pool, but there is nothing more exhilarating than peeing outside. My grandfather would never use the bathroom unless it was raining.

I'll stop now because 90% of the women don't believe me.

[Abigail]

- Men say the average erect penis is 10". Women say it's 4".

-

ROFLMAOPMP - oh, so true, so true! :P

[Rocky]

How do you define NORMAL? :P

----------

What does this mean?

- 22% are functionally illiterate.

;)

[Linda Z]

4. I'm a man and do all the family laundry.

5. I'm a man and do 98% of the cooking.

Marry me.

(j/k Mrs. ex70's Houston!!!)

[potato]

I never reuse tinfoil (neurosis stemming from my childhood).

I don't eat snickers except in extenuating circumstances.

I don't drink orange juice.

my fiance will never, ever let me do his laundry, I'm pretty sure.

I have no idea what a vcr can do, but I'll format your hard drive and install your OS or build you a website.

I don't like lying and avoid it like the plague, and I'm mean to people who I catch lying.

I have never switched tags in a store. I shoplifted once when I was about 8 and I felt horrible afterward.

I ALWAYS wash my hands after I use the bathroom, and I've told grown ups to go back in the bathroom and wash their hands when I know they didn't.

I'm not normal. I'm neurotic as heck.

[waysider]

"Normalcy" is highly over rated.

[Rocky]

Marry me.

(j/k Mrs. ex70's Houston!!!)

That's similar to my reaction to something ChattyKathy posted not too long ago on another thread! (though NOT for the same reasons)

[dmiller]

(My comments in BOLD)

71% can drive a stick-shift car.

I'm in the 71%

45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit.

I'm in the 55%

2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.

That's what yellow lights are for --

warning to go faster if the intersection is REALLY close.

1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.

I'm in the 2/3 majority -- a seat belt saved my life once

(and no --it wasn't at a yellow light!!) :P

12% of men never use their car blinkers.

I'm in the 88% who do so

44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.

I'm in the 56% that slow down, when someone is tailgating ME!

Edited February 21, 2007 by dmiller

[WordWolf]

I'm confident that most, if not all, of these "statistics" were entirely made-up.

"90% believe in divine retribution?"

That's more than double the polled number of those who believe in HEAVEN!

Only 57% have had deja vu?

I challenge that....

[doojable]

Maybe it's because you're not normal, WordWolf.

OK, I'll be nice now....

[sprawled out]

NOPE!

[Belle]

I refuse to answer on the grounds that I would incriminate myself.

[HCW]

Nope.

In fact, my psychologist friend says I shouldn't even WANT to be "normal."

They say that normal is crazy.

- I do 100% of the laundry, cooking, and cleaning at my home; not to mention the decorating.

- I believe in spanking especially before age 2.

(If you don't get 'em corralled in BY age two, you may have lost them for LIFE by then.)

- I actually spend hours at a time talking with my children.

- No comment on the erect penis thing - although I will point out my cultural hertiage.

Edited February 22, 2007 by HCW

[likeaneagle]

********I agree Belle************

[polar bear]

spam on spam and spam with ham

Are there still people who eat that stuff?

[Rocky]

spam on spam and spam with ham

Are there still people who eat that stuff?

Sam I AM! And I do NOT like GREEN EGGS and HAM! (so there!)