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Made-up Terms and Titles


T-Bone
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Between NotMatilda's Made-up Word(s) thread and Hammeroni's Vey Definitions thread – I can't stop thinking up stupid stuff. I've been speaking in puns like a house afire! So if anyone is game for more punishment – I thought I'd continue their fun idea with a thread for made up terms and titles…For openers – I came up with a few that are work related.

Project Manglement – the execution of a plan – literally! Sabotage under excellent supervision.

Degreed Position – job that requires bending over backwards for upper management. Degree of angle to bend over determined by immediate supervisor.

System Anallist – a well organized method for identifying ar$$holes at work.

Tag-you're-IT Department – group of PC savvy associates that talk you into fixing your computer problem yourself.

Quasity Control – an effort made to ensure your activity resembles doing real work.

Hunan Resources – listing of every decent Chinese Restaurant in a 50 mile radius of the office.

Edited by T-Bone
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Between NotMatilda's Made-up Word(s) thread and Hammeroni's Vey Definitions thread – I can't stop thinking up stupid stuff

Thanks for the compliment, I think...

:biglaugh:

Some of my "humor" has been so warped by vey speak, this is the only place on the planet that I can get a laugh at times..

My best friend here is only beginning to understand how getting the front parking spot at Walmart can be equated with spirituality..

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T-Bone, you are obviously a Dilbert fan!!!

Actually, Mark – I start channeling Dilbert every time I watch Office Space…and God forbid word should get out that I often use a Jump-to-Conclusions-Mat when I’m in Doctrinal.

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...My best friend here is only beginning to understand how getting the front parking spot at Walmart can be equated with spirituality...

My beloved Tonto has a long suit in revelation parking and shopping! I’m still trying to get my believing up to work miracles when the bills come.

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…and on the medical front…

See-sick – self-induced nausea by staring at ugly too long

Moe-shun Sickness – withdrawal symptoms after swearing off the Three Stooges

BlueCross BlueShield – psychiatric code for a depressed Christian Police Officer

Malpractice Suit – official uniform of a quack

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – intense psychological pressure that comes from realizing what you posted on a thread makes absolutely no sense.

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Grunchy Store - where one goes to get food for the family.

Frankenfood - What one can buy at the grunchy store.... Food derived from genetically modified plants and animals.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Rectal Database - The very private location from which instantaneous answers to questions may be retrieved. "I pulled that one from my rectal database."

Attentional Blink - The momentary lapse in awareness that occurs after a stimulus catches the brain's attention.

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"Corporate accounts, Nina speaking may I help you..........."
we don't have voice mail at work

so i suggested we answer the phone:

"company name, wilma flinstone....."

Cool…it looks like a conspiracy in the making…I like it…keep up the good work, ladies – I’m recommending you both for a raise and promotion…Of course your supervisors are gonna ask just who the he11 I am.

Edited by T-Bone
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...

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Rectal Database - The very private location from which instantaneous answers to questions may be retrieved. "I pulled that one from my rectal database."

Attentional Blink - The momentary lapse in awareness that occurs after a stimulus catches the brain's attention.

:biglaugh::biglaugh: Wow – those are all great, Belle – but these really spoke to my heart! Thanks! :biglaugh::biglaugh:

I like all the car ones, everybody – thanks. And obviously I love any work references – anything that takes a stab at the system, man - is cool in my book…Really everyone had good stuff here – please continue – I just wanted to express my enjoyment of this thread and show my appreciation. I would like to thank all the little people – starting with that little kid on the left with the big hat and suspenders…I know what you’re thinking “This guy is full of himself” – while that’s true please keep in mind I’m only a half-pint bottle [just look at my avatar] :redface2: .

Edited by T-Bone
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Then you should go Egosurfing, my friend. That'll make you feel even better (or worse)... :biglaugh:

Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.

But it sure as heck beats a salmon day any day!

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.

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...But it sure as heck beats a salmon day any day!

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.

Homer Simpson would say "that's a sexual in-your-end dohhh!!!" :o

Edited by T-Bone
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…and on the music front…

Jam Session – time-frame allotted to cramming all the equipment of a five piece garage band into a 89 Geo Metro.

Orca-straight – to compose a musical piece for the sole purpose of sobering up a drunken Killer Whale.

Metro-gnome – The dwarf responsible for keeping mass transit systems running on time.

Socks-a-phone – A pat answer typically given to a technically challenging musical question -and refers to calling on one of the most qualified musicians at GSC. Typical usage, Question: "What alternate tuning should I use so my guitar will sound like a Mack Truck when I play an open E Chord?" Answer: "I dunno…give Socks-a-phone."

Wah-wah Peddle – the selling of fine whines to guitarists.

Base Guitar – an instrument of low value, with inferior properties and the most commonly used implement for composing songs of treachery, cruelty and greed.

Speaking in Drums – A miraculous language believed to have been given to drummers to fill the long hours of life on the road. Controversy surrounds the phenomena - a few drum scholars believe it was a cymbal of the devil's snare and is no longer practiced – while others say it is reserved for some future time – when the roll is called up yonder.

Edited by T-Bone
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