You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'

[Bramble]

Several times in the past few years I've run across names on Greasepost and posters who chime in about how that leader was the BEST, did great things for them and God etc.

But I happen to know about a situation involving that leader, either personally or from a TWI friend--about how that warm n fuzzy leader just about destroyed someone. Divorce, custody battles, a guy left with post traumastic stress, a teen lost to his family because of 'godly' decisions made about how to treat the teen...

Or a leader that was great to us, stuck up for us, but at the same time was hounding some other believer in the area, who later confided in me.

The incidents/leaders I'm thinking about were all in the mid to late 90's LCM era.

I read those post and wonder if I should post the other side of the story, or pm somebody, or just leave them with their good memories?

So far I haven't piped up. The idea of going through all that makes me feel weary.

Have you had this situation pop up?

[outintexas]

In my area, things were okay with the "home grown" twig and branch leaders. Then around the mid-90s, twi-assigned corps started taking over those positions. It all went downhill then.

[coolchef]

and down hill fast

although there were some great ones

[Abigail]

I read those post and wonder if I should post the other side of the story, or pm somebody, or just leave them with their good memories?

So far I haven't piped up. The idea of going through all that makes me feel weary.

Have you had this situation pop up?

I guess it depends on the circumstances, the person, and what is to be gained or lost by it. I've read awful stories about leadership I really liked. It doesn't really change my memories of them. I am thankful I had a different experience and I don't doubt that their experience was equally terrible. I have also run into people who liked people I thought were horrible - same deal.

We had different experiences with people, lots of factors. Era, personality conflicts that may or may not have arose, etc.

[dmiller]

Several times in the past few years I've run across names on Greasepost and posters who chime in about how that leader was the BEST, did great things for them and God etc.

But I happen to know about a situation involving that leader, either personally or from a TWI friend--about how that warm n fuzzy leader just about destroyed someone. Divorce, custody battles, a guy left with post traumastic stress, a teen lost to his family because of 'godly' decisions made about how to treat the teen...

Or a leader that was great to us, stuck up for us, but at the same time was hounding some other believer in the area, who later confided in me.

The incidents/leaders I'm thinking about were all in the mid to late 90's LCM era.

My 2 cents worth ---- If you personally know the poster in question,

and if you think it might make a difference in their life,

give them a PM.

Notice I said "if you think it will make a difference" in their life.

If you think it won't, you probably won't be listened to, regardless of veracity.

And better to have it in PM, than on an open forum.

Putting it out for all to see and comment on,

will elicit posts that may make this other person defensive.

Of course -- it may open their eyes too.

But posting it in the open, for all to comment on ---

Yea, I can see how you'd be *weary* just thinking about it,

since you'll be the one ultimately defending your position.

(I have no clue what poster, *leader* you are talking about,

or what posts either -- but the *logistics* remain the same.

So if you think it is worth it (not leaving them with their dreams),

I'd go the PM route because if you don't --

you'll have to answer questions from everyone else as well.

And yes -- I did run into a situation like this once -- a coupla years ago.

Not identical to yours, but similar. I did my talking in PM.

Good luck deciding if they need to even hear this. :)

Edited February 11, 2007 by dmiller

[TheInvisibleDan]

Several times in the past few years I've run across names on Greasepost and posters who chime in about how that leader was the BEST, did great things for them and God etc.

But I happen to know about a situation involving that leader, either personally or from a TWI friend--about how that warm n fuzzy leader just about destroyed someone. Divorce, custody battles, a guy left with post traumastic stress, a teen lost to his family because of 'godly' decisions made about how to treat the teen...

Or a leader that was great to us, stuck up for us, but at the same time was hounding some other believer in the area, who later confided in me.

The incidents/leaders I'm thinking about were all in the mid to late 90's LCM era.

I read those post and wonder if I should post the other side of the story, or pm somebody, or just leave them with their good memories?

So far I haven't piped up. The idea of going through all that makes me feel weary.

Have you had this situation pop up?

It's as if these arrogant twits wanted to become "supervisers" over our lives.

(though even supervisers in the employment world don't go to the extent of telling us what to do, how to live, what to eat, what to read, how to think).

Watched an old "Twilight Zone" the other night, about a rescue ship that finally arrived to pick people up stranded on a distant planet for about 40 years,

which were overseen by a charismatic old leader who held everyone together, helped them to survive. He had become the father figure over "my people"

and viewed them like children, harboring the assumption that they would still need him even after they returned to earth, but the people in the story

(unlike real life) had better sense and knew otherwise (lol). Great episode.

Danny

Edited February 11, 2007 by TheInvisibleDan

[Bramble]

It has happened about three times to me, about leadership I knew in the mid to late nineties who'd been in TWI for many years.

Some of the leaders are still in, some are out.

I wonder if any loyal to Loy Way Corps leadership kept their hands clean in the nineties.

Anyway, I haven't and probably won't say anything. Some people changed alot from 1979...

[Kit Sober]

I would say, as you feel led to do so. Sometimes "a person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."

I have this situation at work right now, where I tried to make some injustice known, and my boss just thought it was me being critical and not the kind-hearted person she "thought" I was. And my elderly and wise neighbor said, "if you give someone enough rope, they will hang themselves." In other words, truth will out. And sometimes slinging mud just makes yourself dirty. And you might conclude it's not worth it, but leave it in God's [mighty] Hand.

[TheHighWay]

I've been in that situation... someone posts a fond memory of a leader that they really liked or that really helped them, and who I know in later years became a destructive monster. Usually, I don't say anything. I ask myself "what would be the benefit?" and most often the answer is, "not much". I agree with those who have said, trust your gut, and if you feel the need to respond, do it with a Private Message, not on the boards.

[VeganXTC]

Sometimes the benefits are hard to see.......

Once someone posted about a man, how wonderful he was, and wondered if he was still with TWI. This man was someone who treated me unkindly.

Then someone else posted that he wasn't with TWI, and he was so smart to leave when he did, and so spiritual. And I wondered what was wrong with me, why couldn't I forgive him, and maybe it was just me, I was such a bad person, and that is why he was mean to me and no one else.

Then someone posted are we talking about the same man? That guy was a jerk, and did horrible things to people. And I didn't feel alone any more. I'm very glad the poster said what he did.

[coolchef]

if it weren't for dana armweak i think i would still be married to the mother of my children

damn him to hell

if you lurk armweak got anythink to say?

but being the guy i am no hard feelings

[excathedra]

just figure they all suck and say so

whada got to lose ?

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[Oakspear]

My take on "leadership" these days is that no matter how nice and loving someone acted, they were still acting from a position of thinking that they had a right to interfere in your life. I include myself in this.

The folks who thought that I was the greatest Twig Leader since Jesus Christ probably just were going along in the same direction as I was and didn't have occassion to cross me. The ones who thought that I was an @sshole were ones that I "reproved".

I didn't "morph", was pretty much the same guy all along, how I acted and how I was perceived depended a lot on the situation.

Some of the biggest b@stards in the 90's also could be guys who were my best buddy under the right circumstances, but when they thought that "the Word" was at stake, look out.