Social Ineptness

[outandabout]

I agree.

When I was in Mississippi, I lived with two women. Everything I said travelled up to the branch leaders and later I would get reproved for it. I mean every little thing I said.

It was weird, now that I look back on it.

[excathedra]

thank you, full circle, and you did make sense

--

groucho i'm appalled !!!!!

i'm thinking head gasket for a hot rod would have been more spiritually right on

(or whateverthehell that joke was)

Edited February 13, 2007 by excathedra

[doojable]

My girls tell a similiar joke:

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Uh oh - were the Mind Police listening in?

Great thread...

here's the joke I told:

What did Mr. Spock see when he looked in the toilet?

...the captain's log!

I thought it was funny and really didn't think anyone would get devil possessed listening to it...

Twi never allowed people to be themselves and to speak freely...everything was censored and controlled.

[rhino]

what's the one about catchin' a polar bear?

cut a hole in the ice,

put peas by it,

when he comes up to take a pea,

kick him in the ice hole

I heard that in twi, but the person telling it was immediately ...

bitten by devils ...

Edited February 14, 2007 by rhino

[johniam]

quote: ...I recall being at a twi "party" and while outside (smoking a cig), I told an off color joke to a few guys...everybody laughed until I turned around and saw the branch leader glaring at me!...he took me aside and reamed me out.

here's the joke I told:

What did Mr. Spock see when he looked in the toilet?

...the captain's log!

I thought it was funny and really didn't think anyone would get devil possessed listening to it...

Aw that's weird. I was at a function and during break outside I told that joke...How do you tell if someone is into Moosehead? Check for antler marks on their thighs. And one guy looked at me odd but other than that no problem. Wait! Oh, that's right. It was a twig coordinator's meeting. I guess when you're a twig coordinator you're spiritual enough to handle jokes like that.

[Kevlar2000]

...I recall being at a twi "party" and while outside (smoking a cig), I told an off color joke to a few guys...everybody laughed until I turned around and saw the branch leader glaring at me!...he took me aside and reamed me out.

thought it was funny and really didn't think anyone would get devil possessed listening to it...

Twi never allowed people to be themselves and to speak freely...everything was censored and controlled.

[sarcasm]When the Integrity of The Word ™ is at stake, you know what that kind of joking around will turn you into? A five-star hotel for a five-star general daimon! It's the Word, the Word, and nothing but the Word...and jokes approved by The Ministry ™! You have no friends AND no jokes when it comes to The Word! That kind of unrenewed-mind thinking is straight from the Pit where millions are now smoking! You need to take Das Klasse again so your speech may be salted, swaddled and marinated with The Word![/sarcasm]

Groucho, I'll bet you anything this "leader" would sometimes affect that "thousand-yard-into-infinity" spiritual stare, like every sense organ and nerve ending in his body was attuned to "all nine, all the time". So spiritual. So holy. So what.

I wouldn't have lasted five minutes with "leadership" like that. I love bad jokes, and wouldn't hesitate to tell one in fellowship...well, maybe not during the teaching itself. Unless I was doing the teaching.

[JumpinJive]

Its easy to see why one could get uptight. Everything was regimented. I went to some gathering or another in Boston and it involved a formal dinner. Each table had a corpsman (meant in the generic sense) as the table head. I had to physically threaten ours before he'd even let the salt be passed without his permission. If I remember correctly, everything had to start with him. He served himself and then passed it on. What incredible arrogance! I avoided functions like that from then on.

-JJ

[Wanderer]

Excathedra, We may have met if you were in Oswego in the early 80s. Some of us from Syracuse used to go up there to witness. I certainly recall your posts from earlier days both here and on waydale (I think). During the changes here and through the passage of time my old account seems to have dissapeared, so I have "Risen again", this time as Wanderer!

[coolchef]

hi wanderer

welcome back!

[excathedra]

good to see you wanderer, no i've never been to oswego. i was just thinking about the weather there....

thanks

[doojable]

Its easy to see why one could get uptight. Everything was regimented. I went to some gathering or another in Boston and it involved a formal dinner. Each table had a corpsman (meant in the generic sense) as the table head. I had to physically threaten ours before he'd even let the salt be passed without his permission. If I remember correctly, everything had to start with him. He served himself and then passed it on. What incredible arrogance! I avoided functions like that from then on.

-JJ

Funny -The way I was taught, the host or hostess was supposed to start the food moving - but NOT serve themselves first. And the polite thing to do was to go ahead and put your fork on your plate (If you were the host or hostess) to signal that all could eat. On top of that, as a host you had to keep the needs of your guests in mind -

Seems like these folks were so power hungry that they needed to control something as simple as a meal.

Do I eat that way now that I'm no longer in rez - NO! I have on rare occassion needed to know how to act in a formal dinner and I am always happy to not look like a fool.

Back the the topic at hand.....Parties were never parties because we always ended up with a PFAL commercial - even if there were not potential new people there. I never brought anyone to those events because I felt dishonest about it.

Where does the Bible say that we should go forth and be salemen for the Lord? If I need to sell it then no one needs it.

[washingtonweather]

When one is immersed in marketing 24/7 for years on end, it is very difficult to regain a sense of normalcy.

[Wanderer]

Anytime you can't relax enough to be yourself, regardless of the reason, it comes off as phony.

[FullCircle]

For a ministry that claimed to be biblical research and claimed to hold the Word higher than anything else, they sure missed the scripture about not preaching themselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord. But then they also missed a few other scriptures like he who would be greatest would be the servant of all and NOT BE SERVED BY ALL.

Being true to yourself is the way to go. Shakespear Then we can be true with others. FullCircle

[Kit Sober]

I once did a self-test for Alzheimers, and one of the telling criteria for Alzheimers was "avoid social contact."

And that was post-twi me to a T.

And decided I didn't want to end there.

And now I push myself to get out outside and meet with and be with real people.

Hardly any twi people around here so anything works, church, theater, shopping, friendly outings.

There are So Many People out there to interact with.

It's great.

And as mentioned by others, people aren't waiting to outcast you, rebuff, reject and ridicule you, generally speaking.

[Belle]

Kit, I did not know of the link between Alzheimer's and avoiding social contact. :huh: Is it a symptom or is it a behavior that's likely to contribute to it?

I go through spurts of not wanting to see, talk, communicate, anything with others. I could really be a hermit some days...

[WordWolf]

Just from where I'm sitting,

avoiding social contact is probably a COPING MECHANISM for someone beginning to come down

with Alzheimer's.

If you only deal with people you've known a long time, then the effects can appear to be

minimized. If you continue to deal casually with more people, then the effects of a drifting

or vanishing memory become more prominent- you can't hide that you forgot their names,

who they are, etc.

Further, sheer frustration can cause you to not bother with people, which means to the

outsider that you're anti-social.

So, I don't think it's a symptom OR a behaviour that leads to it, just a response TO symptoms.

[Larry N Moore]

Funny -The way I was taught, the host or hostess was supposed to start the food moving - but NOT serve themselves first. And the polite thing to do was to go ahead and put your fork on your plate (If you were the host or hostess) to signal that all could eat. On top of that, as a host you had to keep the needs of your guests in mind

Oh my gosh! That reminds me of a time when they were serving liver for dinner. I think there were about eight at the table. Anyways, I hate liver and refused to eat it. Noting I wasn't eating the main dish the Host asked me why and I simply told him I didn't like liver. He then proceeded to educate me -- and I politely heard him out -- on the benefits of liver. When he had finished giving me this long drawn out discourse on it I simply looked at him -- with my eyes as wide as I could manage -- and said: "So, what you're telling me is that liver will make me sh1t better, is that right?" I think his eyes got bigger than mine (and so did a lot of others sitting at the table).

[Ham]

Liver, liver..

Larry, you should have told them:

"For crying out loud! I thought liver was supposed to be used for divination, not eating.."

Of course, that may have caused a few more "problems" than it seemingly solved..

[pond]

The memory impaired will not seek social interactions because it is to difficult to communicate when you do not remember what a person just told you and it is embarasing.

some do not know they are diseased others are in denial altogether.

no one wants to think they are going "crazy". anger is often a very strong emotion attached to the symptoms , and denial and just not remembering you didnt remember when all of your life you have done just fine.

many take it as a personal attack and avoid interaction with any possible sort of confusion, and a short term memory is confusion when you remeber what happened in detail just five years ago or last year depending on the course and strength of the disease .

they go to the same store, they drive the same route, they do not change any pattern in life. the pans MUST be put back exactly where they were or eles it is very possible they will forget where they are. so life becomes very rigid and exact or it is to much stress.

meeting new people is useless they wont remember them. and as the progress of the disease continues time erodes and even further memory fails.

my friend was slapped across her face by her mm who was 80 years old when she said she was her daughter.

In her world she was still living at home with her parents a young girl then, never married and certainly a virgin and she took that comment as a insult.

you often hear folks calling for their parents in nursing home although they may have been dead for many many years.. it is because their mind has erased all memory until that time in life . then death is the final impact as they lose the abiltiy to eat and drink and "return to the fetus state and die.

[minicorpse]

Funny -The way I was taught, the host or hostess was supposed to start the food moving - but NOT serve themselves first. And the polite thing to do was to go ahead and put your fork on your plate (If you were the host or hostess) to signal that all could eat. On top of that, as a host you had to keep the needs of your guests in mind -

Seems like these folks were so power hungry that they needed to control something as simple as a meal.

Do I eat that way now that I'm no longer in rez - NO! I have on rare occassion needed to know how to act in a formal dinner and I am always happy to not look like a fool.

yes, but does anyone remember how mrs. weirwille taught us all how to peel and eat a banana?

Edited June 20, 2007 by minicorpse

[ChasUFarley]

Actually, it's come in really handy.... (no pun intended...)

But only the pinching it at the bottom, not the stem part...

Otherwise... I'm not using a knife and fork on a banana!

[polar bear]

Don't get me started at how stupid it was to try to have a party with twi leadership around. They would'nt know what "fun" is if it hit them in the head.

I got reproved for playing a non ministry song at a coffee house once.

Thank God I can be around normal people now.

Join a club or group of people that you have a common interest in. I joined a boat club, it was the best thing I've ever done. I've made great friends.

[templelady]

Having dealt with my mother and her mental illness all her life especially the last fifteen years of her life where she gradually declined with dementia, the biggest problem often isn't the person with dementia but the family and friends who refuse to see there is a problem.

I butted heads for years with family and friends who accused me of being a liar, vindictive, money hungry, indifferent, and a *&%*(&^)&)(&_, for insiting my mother had dementia and insisting she was living in facilities where the problem could be addressed , as well as turning management of her money and related activities over to the trust department of a reputable bank.

It is just as scary for family and friends to watch as a loved one forgets significant occassions, names, dates and relationships, as it is for the person who suffers from dementia. Eventually the dementia patient comes to the point that they can't remember that they don't remember and they are at peace most of the time dwellin in a five minute or less window of memories that now comprises their life. The rest of the world isn;t as fortunate they still have to deal with the pain of losing someone. When my mother died I had already buried her in my head and heart at least 6 months before, because there was no longer a connection at any level. I was just another person who she saw. Not remembered and quickly forgotten.

What I experienced convinced ME that the problem isn't so much the unwillingness of the dementia patient to socially interact with others as the unwillingness of the mentally sound to interact with the dementia patient. It is frustrating beyond words to interact with someone whose memory covers no more than an hour previously at the beginning of the disease and continually lessens as the years pass. Even a simple conversation becomes impossible because what was said two sentances ago is forgotton not once but repeatedly.

The one exception is those who have known or knew the person during childhood and young adulthood. Long term memory is the last to go--so those who have a frame of reference with the patient in the patients childhood or early adulthood can carry on discussions of those long past events with a fair degree of success. Just my experience and opinion.