Oddly enough, when we'd try to have a "party" with our fellowship or branch it was also odd. People would come to the party expecting to be on a schedule and idle chit chat, generic chatter never happened.
I don't recall ever having a real 'party' w/ TWI... it was always some type of witnessing stint behind a party cloak. Never fun... always stuffy, fake, and riddled w/ awkward moments~ Nothing like 'real life' !
I feel like an oddball. at a birthday party recently, I had to go find a place to cry by myself for a few minutes because the social interaction was so painful that I felt like I won't ever be able to make friends with people.
the interactions at twi meetings was so shallow and the approved topics were so few, I think I lost the desire to converse with people long ago and just put out the efforted expected. just try talking about something interesting, and you'd get shut down.
I remember stupid Halloween parties where you had to go as a Bible character. One time I put on black leotards and sewed branches to it with orange and yellow crepe paper and went as the "burning bush."
One time we had a surprise birthday party for our branch leader but we weren't respectful enough during the party so branch leader and wife cancelled Sunday morning fellowships to punish us.
One time we had a surprise birthday party for our branch leader but we weren't respectful enough during the party so branch leader and wife cancelled Sunday morning fellowships to punish us.
Glad you brought this up Belle. Certainly became a problem for me.
I'm beginning to overcome it and have in many ways. We as a family don't see to many people socially except at work or family things. I was always stand offish from family and they knew it. But lately I've been getting more involved in the conversations and hanging with them. Just talking about nothing or anything helps blow the doors off of that apprehensive feeling.
I remember being in Alaska, and I think it was a birthday party or something. They were inviting families to come to this kid's birthday party. Well, our bc didn't like it because they weren't invited.
He said if anything were to have happened, the ministry would have been blamed. Go figure!
"Then the rules came down that after fellowship we should talk the word, what blessed you
the most and how you can apply it in life."
gag me ugh
Mastering the art of small talk reallly breaks down barriers. The best salesmen I know really know how to use it to their advantage by getting to know clients. Being well read in current events, sports, etc. can be a tool that opens people up to talk about the weightier (sp) things of life. People who charge out of the gate with some heavy agenda without taking the time to get to know me is a real turn off. What is wrong with a conversation about the recent Super Bowl? The Colt's coach Tony Dungy is a real cool guy that has used football as a stage to communicate his Christian beliefs. He does it with class, IMO.
"Then the rules came down that after fellowship we should talk the word, what blessed you
the most and how you can apply it in life."
gag me ugh
Yes, I recall the 'Ruling'... the fellowship coordinators at the time had three children, two in college, one in middle school, both parents working... their youngest (female) was being harassed and followed by some guy in a car on her walk home from school... it really bothered her, and she started talking about it...
She was immediately CUT off, given a STERN look and told that we don't talk about negative things.. PERIOD!
After that, the 'subject' couldn't be discussed... the parents wouldn't hear a word.... the strange things to me was, I worked right around the corner, and left about the same time she was walking home... I could have given her a ride...
I tried saying something... but got that same STERN look
One time we had a surprise birthday party for our branch leader but we weren't respectful enough during the party so branch leader and wife cancelled Sunday morning fellowships to punish us.
Isn't that sorta like giving kids a suspension from school? Oh. No. No meeting on Sunday morning? What ever will we do?
Yes, I recall the 'Ruling'... the fellowship coordinators at the time had three children, two in college, one in middle school, both parents working... their youngest (female) was being harassed and followed by some guy in a car on her walk home from school... it really bothered her, and she started talking about it...
She was immediately CUT off, given a STERN look and told that we don't talk about negative things.. PERIOD!
After that, the 'subject' couldn't be discussed... the parents wouldn't hear a word.... the strange things to me was, I worked right around the corner, and left about the same time she was walking home... I could have given her a ride...
I tried saying something... but got that same STERN look
yikes, what weirdos. some people shouldn't breed.
my ex expected us to be all goodness and light to make him look good for the other TWIts. everything had to be "positive"... except, of cours, when he and the various leaders who felt like it was their job to "help" us explained all our "opportunities" and why our lives were so awful (it was my fault of course, for not appreciating my husband enough).
quote: Any party is the worst. I once invited a coworker to a superbowl party.
He showed up with a 12 pack, he tried to hand them out but no one would
take a beer but me. He wanted to talk sports because his team was playing
but everyone else was talking about the bible.
He hit the food table had a beer and left.
I got a talking to for not telling him not to bring beer.
How lame! In fall of '78 there was a guys' way home and a girls' way home plus 2 twigs and the limb leader in the city where I was. One Friday night there was a party at the girls' way home. When the limb leader got there he says, "You're never gonna know what your limit is until you hit it once or twice. So don't be afraid to have fun, OK?" Must be something wrong with our scale of values, eh?
Took years to even like being around people ( I mean when I wasn't partying)
Took even more years to figure out that people liked being around me
Only in the last 5 or so years do I really enjoy people and not feel that I am some sort of disgrace that should be thankful to be allowed in polite society
Don't worry, it gets easier the longer you are out of TWI. When I first left I felt like an oddball, and I thought I would never fit in. I felt like I owed everyone an explanation about being in a cult. I got over that quickly. Hehe. First thing I quit smiling at everyone, and the world didn't fall apart. I realized I was NOT everyone's best friend and I sure as shooting didn't want to be either.
Chit chat, small talk. It's easy. Talk about traffic, the newest coffee flavor, a new book you read (go get some) things like that.
The easiest ice-breaker I know is to ask questions -- not to be fishing for an opening to 'sell' the Bible but because you actually WANT to hear the answer!!
If you can get other people talking about themselves, it won't be long before a topic comes up where you can contribute to the conversation.
I never had problems with someone steering my conversations, the way you all are mentiong here. I guess I never the felt the pressure to bring one into the fold like you did..I let God do it..
Good suggestions Highway.
I never had problems with someone steering my conversations, the way you all are mentiong here. I guess I never the felt the pressure to bring one into the fold like you did..I let God do it..I like people and always felt confident in a large group or small..I also not an attention getter..I dont need light on me to perform..
altho, Belle- this was definitely the way it became later in 90's in my area..especialy when i asked about some of concerns..this has nothing to do with partying tho..I guess being overly flirty or something would have been an issue.
God Bless from Johannesburg, crime capitol of the world!
Bumpy is not going to relate to all of you on this thread or any other, but every adventure finds new adventures. This time someone from Sweden who knows so many people from my past in Stockholm. He said to me, "you can only look for your golf ball for so much time". I cannot type on a Swedish keyboard, itäs too frustrating!
Free advice...take an adventure tour, get away from all of this communication, meet new people. Every new person you meet in life is a MIRACLE!
South Africa is so Beautiful with all the animals and contrasts of Africa. There IS a life OUTSIDE of your past, but you must breakout of this constant over analysis of what happened during your time in twi and ces.
Tomorrow is an overnight train to Cape Town. Lions and tigers and Bears...oh my!
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SafariVista
I don't recall ever having a real 'party' w/ TWI... it was always some type of witnessing stint behind a party cloak. Never fun... always stuffy, fake, and riddled w/ awkward moments~
Nothing like 'real life' !
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potato
I feel like an oddball. at a birthday party recently, I had to go find a place to cry by myself for a few minutes because the social interaction was so painful that I felt like I won't ever be able to make friends with people.
the interactions at twi meetings was so shallow and the approved topics were so few, I think I lost the desire to converse with people long ago and just put out the efforted expected. just try talking about something interesting, and you'd get shut down.
thanks twi.
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Tom Strange
oh... we had parties... you folks should've come to our fellowships...
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outandabout
I remember stupid Halloween parties where you had to go as a Bible character. One time I put on black leotards and sewed branches to it with orange and yellow crepe paper and went as the "burning bush."
One time we had a surprise birthday party for our branch leader but we weren't respectful enough during the party so branch leader and wife cancelled Sunday morning fellowships to punish us.
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SafariVista
Now THAT is RETARDED!!! What fools!
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cman
Glad you brought this up Belle. Certainly became a problem for me.
I'm beginning to overcome it and have in many ways. We as a family don't see to many people socially except at work or family things. I was always stand offish from family and they knew it. But lately I've been getting more involved in the conversations and hanging with them. Just talking about nothing or anything helps blow the doors off of that apprehensive feeling.
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copenhagen
Belle I agree and it all started in the late 1990's when after fellowship people would
have fun share their hart and just talk.
Then the rules came down that after fellowship we should talk the word, what blessed you
the most and how you can apply it in life.
This came after a teaching about witchcraft. King Saul messing with the witch.
I looked at my friend and said lets go get a book on spells.
That did not go over well. Since then everyone blabs and rehashes the teaching.
Any party is the worst. I once invited a coworker to a superbowl party.
He showed up with a 12 pack, he tried to hand them out but no one would
take a beer but me. He wanted to talk sports because his team was playing
but everyone else was talking about the bible.
He hit the food table had a beer and left.
I got a talking to for not telling him not to bring beer.
This party was made up of the most non-football fans only there because the branch leader
thought this would be a good outreach tool. One guy came and blew out.
I have always blew off way partys for that reason.
My favorite was a new years eve party where we prayed in the new year.
A party is a party lets have fun.
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Lori
I remember being in Alaska, and I think it was a birthday party or something. They were inviting families to come to this kid's birthday party. Well, our bc didn't like it because they weren't invited.
He said if anything were to have happened, the ministry would have been blamed. Go figure!
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outandabout
"Then the rules came down that after fellowship we should talk the word, what blessed you
the most and how you can apply it in life."
gag me ugh
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Calflor
Mastering the art of small talk reallly breaks down barriers. The best salesmen I know really know how to use it to their advantage by getting to know clients. Being well read in current events, sports, etc. can be a tool that opens people up to talk about the weightier (sp) things of life. People who charge out of the gate with some heavy agenda without taking the time to get to know me is a real turn off. What is wrong with a conversation about the recent Super Bowl? The Colt's coach Tony Dungy is a real cool guy that has used football as a stage to communicate his Christian beliefs. He does it with class, IMO.
TWI, as in most things has it wrong here too.
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SafariVista
Yes, I recall the 'Ruling'... the fellowship coordinators at the time had three children, two in college, one in middle school, both parents working... their youngest (female) was being harassed and followed by some guy in a car on her walk home from school... it really bothered her, and she started talking about it...
She was immediately CUT off, given a STERN look and told that we don't talk about negative things.. PERIOD!
After that, the 'subject' couldn't be discussed... the parents wouldn't hear a word.... the strange things to me was, I worked right around the corner, and left about the same time she was walking home... I could have given her a ride...
I tried saying something... but got that same STERN look
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excathedra
i definitely, without a doubt, was a social retard when i first left "the way ministry"
and before i got involved, i used to be miss social popularity
very weird
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Linda Z
Isn't that sorta like giving kids a suspension from school? Oh. No. No meeting on Sunday morning? What ever will we do?
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excathedra
REALLY
oh my oh my i get to sleep in on sunday
stop torturing me !!!!!!
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potato
yikes, what weirdos. some people shouldn't breed.
my ex expected us to be all goodness and light to make him look good for the other TWIts. everything had to be "positive"... except, of cours, when he and the various leaders who felt like it was their job to "help" us explained all our "opportunities" and why our lives were so awful (it was my fault of course, for not appreciating my husband enough).
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dmiller
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
That reminds me of THIS JOKE
from Just Loafing, to Mark O'Malley,
buried in Just plain silly. :)
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johniam
quote: Any party is the worst. I once invited a coworker to a superbowl party.
He showed up with a 12 pack, he tried to hand them out but no one would
take a beer but me. He wanted to talk sports because his team was playing
but everyone else was talking about the bible.
He hit the food table had a beer and left.
I got a talking to for not telling him not to bring beer.
How lame! In fall of '78 there was a guys' way home and a girls' way home plus 2 twigs and the limb leader in the city where I was. One Friday night there was a party at the girls' way home. When the limb leader got there he says, "You're never gonna know what your limit is until you hit it once or twice. So don't be afraid to have fun, OK?" Must be something wrong with our scale of values, eh?
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templelady
Took years to even like being around people ( I mean when I wasn't partying)
Took even more years to figure out that people liked being around me
Only in the last 5 or so years do I really enjoy people and not feel that I am some sort of disgrace that should be thankful to be allowed in polite society
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FullCircle
Don't worry, it gets easier the longer you are out of TWI. When I first left I felt like an oddball, and I thought I would never fit in. I felt like I owed everyone an explanation about being in a cult. I got over that quickly. Hehe. First thing I quit smiling at everyone, and the world didn't fall apart. I realized I was NOT everyone's best friend and I sure as shooting didn't want to be either.
Chit chat, small talk. It's easy. Talk about traffic, the newest coffee flavor, a new book you read (go get some) things like that.
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TheHighWay
The easiest ice-breaker I know is to ask questions -- not to be fishing for an opening to 'sell' the Bible but because you actually WANT to hear the answer!!
If you can get other people talking about themselves, it won't be long before a topic comes up where you can contribute to the conversation.
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likeaneagle
I never had problems with someone steering my conversations, the way you all are mentiong here. I guess I never the felt the pressure to bring one into the fold like you did..I let God do it..
Good suggestions Highway.
I never had problems with someone steering my conversations, the way you all are mentiong here. I guess I never the felt the pressure to bring one into the fold like you did..I let God do it..I like people and always felt confident in a large group or small..I also not an attention getter..I dont need light on me to perform..
altho, Belle- this was definitely the way it became later in 90's in my area..especialy when i asked about some of concerns..this has nothing to do with partying tho..I guess being overly flirty or something would have been an issue.
Good suggestions Highway.
Edited by likeaneagleLink to comment
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Bumpy
God Bless from Johannesburg, crime capitol of the world!
Bumpy is not going to relate to all of you on this thread or any other, but every adventure finds new adventures. This time someone from Sweden who knows so many people from my past in Stockholm. He said to me, "you can only look for your golf ball for so much time". I cannot type on a Swedish keyboard, itäs too frustrating!
Free advice...take an adventure tour, get away from all of this communication, meet new people. Every new person you meet in life is a MIRACLE!
South Africa is so Beautiful with all the animals and contrasts of Africa. There IS a life OUTSIDE of your past, but you must breakout of this constant over analysis of what happened during your time in twi and ces.
Tomorrow is an overnight train to Cape Town. Lions and tigers and Bears...oh my!
Senegal is so far away!
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excathedra
oh please bumpy
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potato
thanks, I love free toilet paper.
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