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My brush with Death

FreeAtLast

By FreeAtLast,
in My Story

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FreeAtLast Newbie

FreeAtLast

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It wasyears January 6th. Four years since my divorce. The marriage wasn't always bad. I do remember some fun times. Did I love

him? I can't answer that one in the affirmative, but love takes on many forms. Did I feel loved. No!!!! for a good ten years of our

twelve and a half years or marriage I was sick and through those ten years I got progressively worse. I saw many doctors but finally the man that was supposed to love me refused to allow me to get well. Told me that I wasting our money and that there was nothing wrong with me. "You just need to drink more water", he would often say. To which I would reply, "And you got your medical degree where?" Once he told me if I went to the doctor i would be "disobeying him." that made me feel loved and important -- Not!

I eventually got out of the marriage almost thirteen years after I got into it. Not a day goes by that I don't see evidence of how I am still paying the price for the divorce. I got the kids the house all the debt and my sick body. He hopped on the first plane to Michigan and was gone for six months. With no Court Order for child support he was scott Free. I was desolate. The contract I was on at the time had completed and I had no work to go to. The market had gotten bad since the events of 9/11 (thank God the market has shown a recovery), in addition I was getting sicker and was not very motivated. When you sleep all night and wake up tired something is wrong.

I had my gaul bladder removed in all this thinking it would help me get well, but no. So, now divorced, a free woman, I called Dr. Evans . I left a message on the answering machine stating that even though the bladder was removed I still had abdominal pains. Cindy, Dr. Evans' nurse scheduled me for an abdominal ct scan. As I arrived they prepared me with nasty tasting fluids and laid me on the table. The procedure began. These large circular objects began to encircle my abdominal area. The technician would utter instructions and I would follow. Unexpectedly she stopped the scan and came into the room. "I want to inject you with this substance so I can get a better look, she said. She injected the substance continued the scan only this time the disks

found their way further up my body.

The next day I received a call from Doctor Evans. The technician found something he said. I knew something was causing that pain. Was it a gaul stone, an ulcer what? Dr. Evans stated, "The tech noticed a mass located in the right ventrical of your heart." I don't think the reality of that statement really hit home. no way I thought. They will do further studies and they will find that not to be true. But then what about the fluttering I felt in my heart, and what about the times when it felt like a backup and sudden surge of blood was passing through my heart. It wasn't constant but it was enough to alarm me and I had talked with my doctors about it many times in the past. they would listen to my heart and proclaim that they didn't hear it.

For the next year Dr. Weyrens, my cardiologist, would take my xrays and display them to other cardiologists. Many of the top clinics in the country wanted the privilege of operating on me. I had a rare condition. Only 2 other people were know to have had this condition and their tumor was on the left side. Dr. Weyrens sent me to Dr. Tutuska, who charged me 300 dollars to tell me that he wouldn't perform the surgery because he wasn't confident enough. He stated that I was either going to need a heart transplant and/or ventricular support or I would die. I didn't like that prognosis. I will just live my life out and die when I die I didn't need the surgery to shorten what already seemed like a life cut short.

Dr. Weyrens wanted to perform and MRA. After the MRA he felt that the mass was merely scar tissue and that my chances would be better than expected. But,,,, after he showed my xrays to other doctors he felt he also needed an angiogram. An out patient procedure that caused a perforated femural artery and a 4 day stay in the hospital (which is when medicaid and SRS stepped in and made sure I had insurance and cash assistance while I struggled with this life threatening experience.) While I was in the hospital recovering from the loss of 4 pints of blood, Dr, Weyrens in his kind and gentle way informed me that the mass was not scar tissue. He held my hand while I cried. I couldn't move as they had blocks attached to my abdomin to stop the internal bleeding, but I could cry. Things weren't looking good. I was finding myself in and out of the hospital, and no one was willing

to operate on me without my having to leave Topeka for a period of time.

finally Dr. Weyrens found Dr. Daon. Dr. Daon performs heart surgery at the St. Lukes Medical center in kansas City an hour from my house. He told me he would open me up cut the right atrium and reach down into the ventrical and pull the mass out and figure out what it was from there. I felt at ease with him and agreed to allow him to do the surgery. I was scheduled for December 17th 2003. The week before christmas. If I died what a christmas present that would have been for the kids. But I felt peaceful. Nonetheless I wrote each child a letter telling them how much I loved them and how wonderful they each were and all the while crying buckets of tears.

Dr. Daon put me out, performed the operation in 30 minutes, my mother tells me. I don't know because I was incoherent in ICU for 2 days. I spent 5 days in the hospital after the surgery and went home in time for the holiday. Pauline Central elementary teachers had adopted my children for Christmas and they gave them a Christmas they otherwise wouldn't have had. A woman whose child I tutored, brought us dinner. My mom was there from the time the mass was discovered to the time it was removed (not constantly but she would go home and care for the kids and come back when I needed her).

A year ago April Dr. Weyrens did another MRA to see how my heart was faring. He said it looked like a normal heart. No damage existed, not even from the surgery. The tumor was non-malignant, thank God, and I am alive to be here for my children. To watch them grow to full maturity.

As I sit here with tears streaming down my face I am thankful. Thankful to God for his hand in the situation from the divorce on,

Thankful to Dr. Kennedy who while he was alive helped me keep my sanity through the divorce and the surgery and my disparity, I miss him sooooo much. I am thankful to Dr. Weyrens, without whom I would not have had the right surgeon. I am thankful to Dr. Daon for his confidence, competence and professionalism (he even fixed the hole in my heart that I had from birth). Thankful to my mom who never left my side. Thankful to the staff at Pauline Central for all their support during this time and not only at christmas. Thankful to Alicia for grabbing my kids before they went to temporary foster care, since their dad wasn't answering his phone, and thankful to Marilee for the wonderful holiday feast. I am also thankful to my other friends and family that were there for me.

Since then I have lost my home and have reached the bottom of disparity. But as hard as times have been for me, I have my life. If I ever think of ending it I would have to think about the efforts these men and women had taken to keep me alive. December 17th was a day to rejoice. A friend of mine when told this story wished me a happy birthday. In a way that is what that day is. It is the day in which I was given a new lease on life. There is nothing like staring death in the face to bring a person around to making drastic changes in their lives. But that's a story for another time.......

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potato Newbie

potato

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that is an amazing story! I am so glad you're here and didn't give up. I'm so sorry you lost your house through all of that. were you ever able to start collecting child support?

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coolchef Newbie

coolchef

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Posted (edited)

dooj

a word of advice

get what he owes you in back support

the mother of my children and i divorced when my 4 boys were young

i paid support for over 21 years

and i didn't mind one bit

it ws due them

it was not thier fault that we divorced

but i did wind up over paying by about 30 grand

that i did mind

as the boys were all out on thier own.

i was paying for her yearly trips all over the place..... i must add she was a great mom to my boys

Edited by coolchef
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potato Newbie

potato

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Posted
get what he owes you in back support

the mother of my children and i divorced when my 4 boys were young

i paid support for over 21 years

and i didn't mind one bit

it ws due them

it was not thier fault that we divorced

I really love hearing dads say things like this. it is heartwarming. your kids are blessed.

it also shows me how right I am to fight in my case, as my ex has no concern for the kids. they are just trophies to him. he would take food out of their mouths to make his life easier.

to each his own battle. in some cases the benefits do not outweigh the work involved, and in some it's a matter of principle to let things go because there are other tangible benefits that would go by the wayside in the interest of pursuing something to the extent of the law.

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act2 Newbie

act2

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FreeAtLast,

I am so glad that you were able to get the help you needed. We have to listen to our bodies, which do tell us things that we need to know most of the time.

Thanks for sharing a small part of your life with us.

Glad the ex is now paying your rent, but so sad that you had to lose your home.

Take care of yourself. Your children need you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am 50 now and still need my mom!!!!!!!!!

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FreeAtLast Newbie

FreeAtLast

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i am 58 and i miss dad and mom every day of every week

parents are so important and some people don't learn it b4 it's too late

glad i had a great relationship with my folks til the moved thier address.

gone up higher

My mom was always my best friend growing up. Even now when something good happens she's the first person I think about sharing it with. Even when bad happens she is the person I cry to. Mom's are great. My dad is funny, he's never been nurturing and now he has dementia and never remembers what he said 2 minutes prior. But I love him. He's my dad.

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I Love Bagpipes Newbie

I Love Bagpipes

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(((Freeatlast))))

What a story. I know that wasn't easy to write and I empathize with the thankfulness in your heart.

I trust you kept those letters written to your children? I don't know their ages. Maybe someday you will be able to share those letters with them? They will be (are) encouraged by your strength, stamina, faith. That impacts more than words ever can.

I pray your other circumstances change as time moves forward.

And I hope sometime later you are able to share "the story for another time...."

All the best,

ILB

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  • 2 months later...
J0nny Ling0 Newbie

J0nny Ling0

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Wow Free,

I am so thankful to have read your story. You are an amazing woman, and I am so glad you made it through all of that. We have communicated here a good deal, but that's the first time I've read your story. In fact, this is the first time I have read anything in the "My Story" forum. I am so thankful to God for your deliverance. And as Roy would say so kindly,

With love and holy kisses blowing your way :love3: ,

"Jonny Lingo"

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