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On behalf of George (LG or Long Gone as he's known here)


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I'm Lisa, George's daughter. I tried posting this on his "I'm Dying" thread, but I've never used this forum before, so I couldn't figure out how. He told me that he felt he had several good friends on this forum, and asked me to post when he passed away. That's a blunt way to say it, I guess, but I'm a little frazzled right now and don't know a better way. I foudn him this afternoon. He seemed to go very peacefully and quickly, which is great consolation. I don't really know what else to say. I'm in a little bit of shock right now I guess, but I just wanted to tell all of you to whom he "talked" (or at least typed at). This is a horribly written post I know, but I wanted to get it out there.

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Dear Lisa:

Thank you for taking time out during your own sorrow to let us know.

I hope you'll be able to get back here, when you're ready, to see what people have to say about your dad. He was well respected and liked.

We could always count on your dad to be fair, objective, honest, and kind. That's the best tribute I can think of for a man's life. I'm so sad, and I'll miss his wise words here.

I'm really sorry for your loss. Thanks again, and let us know if there's anything we can do.

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We're all so very sorry for your loss. Words fail at a time like this.

If you are so inclined, you may e-mail the moderators of the Greasespot forum at: greasespot@gmail.com and we can set you up your own Greasespot account. This would provide you a way of sharing about your dad. Of course, we know you have other concerns and things to attend to at the moment. When you are ready, we are here.

DooWap

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How sad this news. I can't do better than what has been said already but he was a wonderfully fair man that came to my rescue in 'tacks more than once and I can only imagine the loss you feel right now.

I will pray for your peace of heart and for the sweet memories you must have to carry you through this loss.

:(

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Lisa,

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Your father was an independent person, it seems, but he spoke about you in his post in his thread "I'm Dying". I'm sure that your coming here today to share this sad news with us was very painful for you, but we appreciate you letting us know. I'm very sorry for your loss. He spoke about how you were a wonderful support for him - he was very, very proud of you and loved you very much.

I thought it might be appropriate to bring up George's first post on that thread... remembering George...

I went by “long gone” for years, and have been going by “LG,” but I want to introduce myself by my real name now. I’m George Ferguson. I’m 52 years old. I’m a native Texan and have lived in Texas all my life, except during a little over two years of my TWI involvement.

I don’t want to go into much medical detail but I had cancer in my right mandible (jawbone). Early this year, I had surgery to remove the bone and some surrounding soft tissue and reconstruct what was removed using bone and tissue from my leg. I later underwent radiation treatment, once I’d recovered enough from the surgery. I made it through that and seemed to be recovering nicely. I still faced plenty of difficulties, including the burden of knowing that I might have a recurrence of cancer, but had reason to be at least cautiously optimistic that I would resume a normal and hopefully long life. Unfortunately, that’s not to be. Other tumors have turned up and they are incurable and essentially untreatable. There’s a chance that further treatment might buy me a little extra time but it would make me so sick that I’d lose out on the quality of the time I have left. After discussions with my doctors and my 23-year-old daughter, I decided to forgo further treatment, except for palliative care. That was about a month ago and, at the time, the doctors said they thought I had maybe six months to live. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be fully capable of caring for myself and conducting my own affairs, but I’m only counting on another couple of months. Of course, I’ll be glad for anything longer than that, and hope that I’ll remain capable until near the very end.

This has raised many emotional and other issues that I’m dealing with. It’s not pleasant, but I’m doing okay. So is my daughter, Lisa, whom I raised as a single father since she was seven. Her mother, Dee, had all sorts of problems for many years, but has improved greatly over time and she and Lisa have built a good, though mostly long-distance, relationship. In recent years, Dee and I had managed to again become friendly with each other, but not really friends. She came to Texas to visit and to pitch in with Lisa to help me after my surgery. She stayed at my house for three weeks and during that time, we became friends again. I wouldn’t trade the years of life I’d been expecting for that, but it’s nice to have her friendship again, and comforting to know that she is strong enough to be a support` for Lisa when I am gone and that there are no remaining ugly issues between her and me that might in any way interfere with that. I also have a brother who can be a big support, and some sisters who probably can’t.

I have plenty of regrets but I can also draw much satisfaction from the life I’ve led. Perhaps the most satisfying thing is that I know that I will leave behind a daughter who is a more whole and stable person than I was at her age, who will be able to get along well without me, and who seems to be developing into a better person in almost every way than I am.

I’m naturally occupied with making preparations for my death, but I still enjoy many of the same things I have, including reading and occasionally posting here. I’m usually fairly reserved and hesitant to talk about myself, both in real life and on the Internet, but I’m thinking of opening up a bit and posting more, possibly on a variety of topics, while I still can.

It occurs to me that some folks here at GS might wish to discuss various topics associated with death, whether our own or others. I took me a while to decide to post this and I don’t yet know what I might like to post or how far I’d like to delve into this, but I’d be interested in reading what others have to say and willing to respond straightforwardly to any comments or questions, including personal ones. (They won’t offend me and if something does come up that I don’t want to get into, I’ll politely say so.)

I’m not a theist, so I probably won’t be interested in delving too deeply into Biblical or religious discussions, but I don’t consider them completely off limits for myself and I wouldn’t dream of suggesting any topical limits for others. I would, however, appreciate it if anyone who might be so inclined would avoid trying to convince me to accept their religious beliefs. I don’t pray but I understand that some will want to pray for me and I appreciate the heart behind that. Also, I won’t be looking for pity or comfort, but for good conversation that hopefully can get past some of the discomfort that seems to hinder such discussions. I don’t know where this will lead, or how long I’ll be able to post. Except for some severe headaches that I can control with pain medication, I feel pretty good right now and hopefully will for some time to come. I may not post for a few days here and there, but if I go for more than a week or two without posting, I’ll probably not be back.

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dearest dearest darling lisa

you are the apple of his eye, the joy, the light, the everything, of his life

i thank god he passed before things got too bad for him

he is one of the GREATS the GREATEST

i thank god for your dad, my darling george

i don't know what to say

please please please write me if you want excathedra2000@yahoo.com

and i left my phone number on your machine last night if you ever want to talk, my dear

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Lisa - I loved your dad's posts here. They were always honest and forthright. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I wish you peaceful days. These last few months must have been difficult, to say the least.

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Hi Lisa:

Thank you for posting here. We are all very sorry for your loss and you will be in many of our prayers. Your dad was very bright and posted here often. I am not sure what else to say either. When we all collect our thoughts a bit better, we can do a memorial thread for George.

Regards to you and your family,

Mark

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Very sorry for your loss Lisa. I knew your Mom and Dad in Irving in 1983 or so, and remember his energy to run a fellowship, go to classes and work a job. Then I looked forward to his comments here in Greasespot, only recently learning it was the George I knew. It is great you had such a wonderful Father.

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Lisa,

Thank you so much for stopping in on such hard day to let us know so promptly. It was sweet of you, as was his willingness to inform us ahead of time as to his health. It took much of the pain away from us, and I hope from you.

Of this I am certain Lisa. You were the crown of his life, and this cannot be expressed better than what he wrote himself:

I have plenty of regrets but I can also draw much satisfaction from the life I’ve led. Perhaps the most satisfying thing is that I know that I will leave behind a daughter who is a more whole and stable person than I was at her age, who will be able to get along well without me, and who seems to be developing into a better person in almost every way than I am.

Peace be yours, as you face the many tasks ahead. I am thankful your father smoothed the way for you for your life ahead.

~HAPe4me

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Dear Lisa,

I cannot find any words more than have been already said; and now words are probably seeming a bit shallow in any case no matter how well intentioned or loving. My best to you. There are plenty of good folks here at GSC who will love listening to you if you need to just talk some. Three names that come to mind quickly who are honest, solid and caring are Groucho Marx JR, Krysilis and Doojable - all cut from the same piece of gold as LG.

Best,

RumRunner

Edited by RumRunner
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Dear Lisa,

I'm so glad George had a daughter like you that he was so proud of. I know, as a dad, how much that must have meant to him. I too am saddened by this news but am oh so thankful to have known him here.

May your heart be comforted in this sad time.

Just know that I too (like so many of us here) admired and appreciated your Dad.

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