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Pathological Liars


Dot Matrix
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My husband's boss lies all the time about how much over time he worked on the weekends and where he is going during the work day. They work for a communications company which requires them to go to different job sites at times and repair radio and television equipment.

One day, hubby's boss made a huge deal about having to go to a job site which is 3 hours away. This meant he wouldn't be around the whole day. My hubby was in another town about an hour away doing some work and spots his boss driving on the same road! He calls his boss on his cell and asks him how it's going. The whole time he is talking about what a biyatch things were to fix and how he was still coming down the mountain. Right when they were both getting ready to come to the same stop light, hubby asks him if he plans on stopping at Inn and Out on the corner for lunch. The boss looks over and says I gotta go.

CAUGHT!!!

This happens all the time. The boss will say he can't go certain places because he is already at a job site. Hubby drives by his house and sees him at home. The owner of the company is a complete idiot and lets him get away with it all. Shameful IMHO.

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The girl I with whom I worked, told people I was a stand up comedian in California.

Now, I can be funny while I am standing up, but I never did the comedy circuit

I had a gold necklace and the person I was living with at the time was wearing one day -- had a long story about how his grandfather gave it to him...

LIAR

Always something like this going on...

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snort (((((( dot )))))

this same boss has shrapnel in his shoulder from a war

he's been a cop

never mind a jeweler

many other things

i think he was in the priesthood for a while

trying to remember it all

Reminds me of Frank Abagnale... the subject of DiCaprio's movie, Catch Me If You Can. Which was on TV last night. I had already seen it... good movie despite the subject matter.

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They must think we do not have memories...

bingo!!!

it's actually stranger than that I think. they believe they can persuade you to see things their way.

frighteningly enough, they often can. domestic abuse is often reinforced with verbal bullying to remember things a certain way. victims aren't given much consideration because they seem confused and inconsistent.

I can testify from bitter experience that it's because they are confused and reality is inconsistent. a mere suggestion makes you doubt your version of events after a while.

I don't feel alone any more... it's strange that when you talk about stuff like this to most people, if they haven't met someone like this, they sincerely can't believe you're telling the truth!

Reminds me of Frank Abagnale... the subject of DiCaprio's movie, Catch Me If You Can. Which was on TV last night. I had already seen it... good movie despite the subject matter.

that was an excellent movie. apparently it wasn't completely true, but what they did write gave some interesting insight in to pathological behavior. the dad scamming and blaming sort of taught the kid that this was how you get out of uncomfortable situations, then a personal crisis and BOOM! a pathological felon is born.

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On an old, pruned thread here

titled “Innies and Outies: all men are liars”

I posted as my very first post

the following on December 25, 2002 09:13:

The Truth About Lies

Many, many threads here have focused on truth vs. untruth and so I

thought I’d put in my two cents. This is my first post here after

years of friendly lurking since Waydale. Since leaving TWI in 1989,

I have carefully cultivated a set of rather extreme beliefs compared

to most of you, and I feel a need to go slowly in attempting to

communicate them here. I don’t want to start off by offending people

or scaring anyone off, so I chose this relatively safe topic based

on a few recent threads about lying that now look to have somewhat

run their courses.

Over the years I have had a varied correspondence with several of

you privately, for which I am thankful, and now I hope finally to

add something to this public forum. Some of you know me personally,

and we’re still actually friends, in spite of doctrinal differences!

Hi Mandii ! Hello Pamsandiego ! Will you two at least verify that

I’m not WAYGB if I’m ever placed under that suspicion? I’ll try not

to embarrass you both with my extreme doctrinal stances, but there

may be times I want to ask you to vouch for my integrity.

I guess that the best way to make friends here is by relating how I

too was hurt by the ministry machinations. This is something we all

have in common. We all got hit in one way or another with lies, and

maybe some of us even told a few ourselves.

It just so happens that the subject of lying was very interesting to

me well before I got into the Word, and I’ve spent about 35 years of

pondering the topic. My initial interest was in the electronics that

polygraphs are based on. As I became educated in the Bible, during

TWI’s good old days, the phrase “all men are liars” seemed to be a

frequently underlying motif for many Bible passages, contrasting

with the total trustworthiness of God, His Word, and His Son.

Then, during TWI’s first collapse in the late Eighties, I frequently

found myself being lied to by the leaders (from twi AND from

splinter groups) as I attempted to confront them or extract

information from them. It was a very confusing time, and most

leadership was keeping unusually quiet about all the raging issues.

Sometimes it wasn’t quite lying that they did, but certainly the

factual info was being withheld in one way or another, and that went

on for years. I often noticed that slightly different words or

phrases would describe the situation other than “lie,” but these

would still be words with many connotations similar to simple lying.

The next area relating to lying that got my attention was in

studying the workings of the human brain. During the Nineties I

happened to live near one of the world’s largest brain research

facilities, and all that decade I enjoyed getting to know some of

the scientists that worked there. I was allowed to attend seminars

with many top scholars in the field, and was invited to parties at

their houses. In that field they often study people who are the poor

victims of severe brain damage, and a very frequent phenomenon they

observe is what they call “confabulation.”

Confabulation is a nice word for “lying.” It turns out that many

different forms of brain injury can result in the victims lying

through their teeth a lot. It is truly a pitiful situation,

especially when the lies are very transparent. The victims are

totally unaware of how incredulous their words are. For example: a

totally blind person claiming to have perfect sight to an eye

doctor! This lends a lot of support to the Biblical contention that

we ALL are very predisposed to lie, but when our brains are intact

we employ very complex skills that can hide this profuse lying from

others (and ourselves) very well.

So, I heard some new synonyms for “lying” in my exposure to these

scientists, and started collecting a list of such words and phrases

to assist me in my lack of skill in confronting ministry leaders. I

learned to expect resistance from them, and I wanted to be able to

spot it as it happened, not hours later, so I tried to somewhat

prepare myself this way. I figured that if I was sharper at spotting

their dodges, then I could get better at on-the-spot follow-up

questions that could circumvent the dodge. They had a policy of

keeping mum on all behind-the-scenes ministry info and I was

developing a policy of penetrating this barrier.

This proceeded for several years, as I struggled with leadership in

a newly evolving twi-clone splinter group that pretty well took over

my area. As I got more and more aggressive in confronting

leadership, the common forms of persecution that religions often

degenerate to became more the rule than the exception. I was

confronted unjustly at times, and somewhat shunned at times.

Eventually I experienced a few more psychological horrors other than

mere lying, and it all got to be quite a zoo. Of all the hurts

reported here at GS that TWI-2 went through during the Nineties,

this very similar splinter group ALSO went through, just on a much

smaller scale.

It was late in this period, around 1997, that a scandal broke out in

the national news involving a man named Larry Lawrence, who had lied

about his military service and ended up being buried in Arlington

National Cemetery. It was front page news for weeks, and the

reporters covering the story nearly doubled my list of synonyms for

“lying.”

Then another big news event hit the front pages: the

Clinton/Lewinski scandal. President Clinton’s lying was portrayed in

the media by many more words and phrases that were added to my

expanding my list.

Still today, every now and then I run across another, and the list

grows a little more. I’m placing a SHORT version of this list below.

The full list has many very subtle entries, and some that only

communicate to a specialized field. So remember, this is the SHORT

list.

If it’s the case that Eskimos have some 22 words for “snow” because

they are so immersed in the white stuff, WHAT DOES THIS BLIZZARD OF

A LIST SAY for the human condition in general? What does it say

about OUR old man nature? Is there anyone out there in

GreaseSpotLand that thinks they are really immune to this? If so,

please come forward with your secret... ...and be honest about it!

The Short List

air brushed

alias

alter ego

ambiguous

artificial

bait and switch

bamboozle

based on a true story

bend the truth

bias

bluff

bogus

bribe

broken promise

....

bunk

camouflage

check's in the mail

circuitous

clandestine

comedy

con game

confabulate

conflabulate - Batman, I only weigh 108 pounds.

conspiracy

contradiction

cook the books

counterfactual

counterfeit

cover story

cover up

covert operation

crossed fingers

deceive

denial

deviate

dilute

diplomacy

disguise

dishonest

disingenuous

distort

dog and pony show

double minded

downplay

drivel

embelishmentationalism

embellish

emphasize

equivocal

ersatz

espionage

euphemism

evade

exaggerate

fable

fabricate

facetious

facsimile

fake

fallacy

falsehood

fantasy

feign

feign

fib

fiction

figment of imagination

figure of speech

finagle

flatter

flim flam

flimsy excuse

force fit

fraud

games people play

go through the motions

gossip

half truth

hallucinate

heresy

he's in a meeting

hoax

hokey

hoodwink

hooey

hoopla

horse feathers

humor

hype

hypochondriac

hypocrite

hysteria

idiom

illusion

imaginary

impersonate

impostor

incognito

inconsistent

infidelity

inflated claim

innuendo

insinuate

interpretation

irrational

it's the alcohol talking

jest

jocular

joke

josh

jury tamper

just between us

juxtaposition

kidding

kiss up

lame excuse

lawyer

lead on

libel

lie

lure

make believe

make up

malarkey

man made

manipulate (the truth)

masquerade

metaphorical

mirage

mirth

misinformation

misspeak

mistake

mock up

myth

No, darling. That dress doesn't make you look fat at all.

nonsense

obfuscate

occlude

off the record

optimist

oversimplification

oxymoron

padded bill

padded cellular phony

pickup lines

pat answer

pen name

perjury

persona

pessimist

phantom

phony

placate

placebo

plagiarism

plastic

play along with

play down

play up

ploy

poetic license

politician

pomp

poppycock

post-progressive

prank

press release

pretend

professional wrestling

prop

propaganda

protocol

pseudo

psychological warfare

psychosomatic

publicity stunt

pull the wool

pulling leg

pun

put best foot forward

put on

rationalization

ravings

renege

resume

reverse psychology

rhetoric

rogue

role playing

rose colored glasses

rumor

ruse

sales pitch

sarcasm

satire

scam

schizophrenic

sea story

secrecy

seduce

sensationalize

shallow

shenanigans

shield from the truth

shifty eyed

shill

showy

shtick

silly

simulate

siren song

skepticism

skin deep beauty

slander

slant

slight of hand

sloganeer

smear campaign

smoke screen

sneaky

snooker

snow job

spin

spoof

spoof

stage personality

stand in

stretch the truth

substitute

subterfuge

subvert

sugar coat

superstition

surreal

surrogate

take with a grain of salt

tall tale

tax deduction

technicality

the fish was THIS big

theatrics

thespian

throwing the bull

tip the scales

tone down

touch up

toy with

trick

twist the truth

two faced

typo

ulterior

unofficial

water down

white lie

white wash

with a wink and a nod

yarn

yes man

you're leading me on

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the only thing I have had experience with is that these people pick on nice people because those are the ones who are most likely to not guess.

Takes one to know one kind of logic.

vp picked on kind-hearted true-hearted people who loved God and thought that everyone else did so as well.

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If it’s the case that Eskimos have some 22 words for “snow” because

they are so immersed in the white stuff, WHAT DOES THIS BLIZZARD OF

A LIST SAY for the human condition in general? What does it say

about OUR old man nature? Is there anyone out there in

GreaseSpotLand that thinks they are really immune to this? If so,

please come forward with your secret... ...and be honest about it!

there's a vast difference between hedging to protect your privacy and telling outright lies on a consistent basis. I actually used to think that one could live honestly and truthfully.

now I could be accused of dishonesty for withholding information or obfuscating facts when revealing them could cause me harm, or being sneaky and sly for investigating my ex-husband's girlfriend without telling him about it... after all, I could just be honest and ask him, right?

in a perfect world I'd love to live honestly but I have to protect myself and I learned the hard way people will take your honesty and trust and use it against you. I think asking for the perfect one to step forward must be a facetious request. no one is perfect and our "old man nature" might have a predisposition to lie, as you surmise, but that is no excuse for the vpw's and lcm's in this world. shallow obfuscation does not excuse the depths of their lies, as the air-brushing of spoiled fruit doesn't make the fruit sweet.

I really can't work any more of those terms into my post.

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The one girl at work who said, "If you've got it flaunt it."

Not only was she a pathological liar I think she had the opposite of anorexia. She was a blimp and would look in the mirror and see a hot babe.... Now what is that about? Her lying affected her vision?

I don't know what to call it except delusional. my ex used to say it too, when he was about 50# overweight and pear-shaped. he'd say, I have the body of adonis. I thought he was joking, then I found out he wasn't... he actually believed he was fit and appealing. :confused:

he was angry... literally angry... for days after he had his body fat ratio measured. there was no way to deny the test results.

it might be part of a personality disorder... narcissists reinvent their lives, why shouldn't that include being svelt and sexy when you're actually a tub?

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No kiddin

She would wear those skin tight kinda stretchy pants from the 80's which showed off every lump and dimple. It was gross. And she would swing it around like she was Pamela Anderson. When in reality it was wobbling and jiggling...

And she tell me how all these men wanted her....

I thought

Yeah, all these guy want you to go away.

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I don't know what to call it except delusional. my ex used to say it too, when he was about 50# overweight and pear-shaped. he'd say, I have the body of adonis. I thought he was joking, then I found out he wasn't... he actually believed he was fit and appealing. :confused:

he was angry... literally angry... for days after he had his body fat ratio measured. there was no way to deny the test results.

it might be part of a personality disorder... narcissists reinvent their lives, why shouldn't that include being svelt and sexy when you're actually a tub?

What you AND Dot each described in the last two posts could just as easily be just simple application of the defense mechanism -- DENIAL. ALL of us do it to some degree. However, the gal at Dot's job, according to Dot's descriptions, did more than just lie to herself.

But your husband (ex?), that sounds like he was mainly deceiving himself, rather than trying to convince others of something he would have known to be otherwise... THAT, we ALL do.

However, again with the disclaimers, I'm not a mental health professional, so anything I say is just guessing anyway.

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But your husband (ex?), that sounds like he was mainly deceiving himself, rather than trying to convince others of something he would have known to be otherwise... THAT, we ALL do.

I understand the idea of denial when it comes to body image. I knew I was a little, uh, shall we say generously sized after I had my second child but I didn't know realize how bad the extra 30 pounds looked until I saw pictures of myself.

if my ex didn't have a habit of lying and aggrandizement, I would suspect the same thing of him... but pooled with the other pathological habits it seems to be part of a larger problem.

he regularly took credit for the ideas of others. he couldn't perform well on the job because others held him back. he at one time believed he was an olympic skier and signed autographs. he freaked, literally freaked, in the presence of anyone with a name, from lcm to movie stars. personally I don't think, taken as a whole, that this behavior set is "normal".

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"he regularly took credit for the ideas of others. he couldn't perform well on the job because others held him back. he at one time believed he was an olympic skier and signed autographs. he freaked, literally freaked, in the presence of anyone with a name, from lcm to movie stars. personally I don't think, taken as a whole, that this behavior set is "normal".

I hate thos people -- the credit hogs telling everyone they thought of it

(He I highlighted potato's line I wanted to quote and hit quote and nothing happened. WTF am I doing wrong?)

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