A British Wayfarer's story

[Trefor Heywood]

This was originally prepared as an article for the No Way Out in 2000 but was never used, no new issue seems to have been published on the web since that time.

I was associated with TWI from 1976 until 1983 (although I did attend the odd Twig meeting after that until around 1984 and maintained contacts with certain Way member friends until 1985.

My association with TWI started from a chance meeting in a pub in my home town of Macclesfield, Cheshire, England in 1976 with a guy whom I used to know in my Anglican Church youth club but whom I had not seen for some time. I was glad to see him and he was glad to see me - it was not long before he was telling me about what had been happening in his life including the fact that he was now involved in a group called the Way Ministry led by a Dr

Victor Paul Wierwille (whom I jokingly at first called Dr Werewolf) and that it had changed his life. I had only recently graduated with a Masters Degree in Theology from the University of St Andrews in Scotland and had not yet worked out what career I wished to follow so I was working as an Insurance agent and thinking about seeking ordination into the Church of England. He invited me to attend a Twig meeting to see what it was all about and I agreed to go along. The meeting took place at the home of Robert A. Wilkinson, the then Trunk Leader of Great Britain (mentioned in Death of a Patriarch ? Macclesfield at that time was the Limb HQ for the Way of Great Britain) and as he taught I was following not only the King James text but also the New Testament Greek

thinking I would be able to catch him out but everything he said was accurate according to my knowledge of Koine (Biblical) Greek and I found myself being impressed.

My friend Robert said he was "going WOW" that September and talked about a European WOW festival that was going to take place in Nottingham and I agreed to go along and take a look and even drove Robert to Manchester Airport to welcome Dr Wierwille and Mrs Wierwille on their arrival and the entourage that came with them. I also went down for one day to the Nottingham festival with another friend (he his only link with the Way) where everyone seemed so happy and friendly and the music was really excellent - even today I love to hear Claudette Royale of Joyful Noise singing "Precious Lord", and they had recently produced an album to commemorate the Bicentennial of US Independence which I thought was pretty good and there was a British based group called Agape who also did some good music.

I went back for the WOW commissioning service - Robert was being sent to Bristol and I was trying to work out how people could possibly go to a strange place with people they might have not previously known as part of a WOW Family with only £50 each (admittedly it went further in those days) and then having to find accommodation and a part time job. I expected that Robert would soon be back, but no, I soon got a letter telling me about how fabulous everything was along with an invite to go and visit so I drove down for the weekend bringing his kid brother with me. He had been placed with an American couple from San Diego and a guy who was a fab cook (also in Agape)and they were living in a nice house and had already made contacts and were running Twigs and I was forever being told about PFAL and how it would answer all my questions. I started attending Twigs in Macclesfield and decided to make the "donation" of £25 to take the class - there was no charge, just a suggested "donation", but if you did not donate you did not get to take the class!

I remember being awe-struck as new doctrines were unfolded - all sounding so logical although the sound quality of some of the teaching tapes was very poor and the guy running the class was very embarrassed about that. But I was sufficiently impressed to become involved on a weekly basis (usually

twice weekly) and also attended the monthly Branch meetings in Manchester so I saw a lot of the UK leadership - the Wilkinsons and the Kents, their son Chris Kent having gone into the Way Corps in the USA at Emporia Kansas. The following February. Whilst at a Way gathering in Glasgow, I decided to go WOW that September - I was enthused for the Word and was getting nowhere in my insurance job and had been very impressed by what I saw of WOW life in Bristol and I guess the hints were there that I should ? Robert Wilkinson plugged it all the time and he was not the only one.

The European WOW festival was held in September 1977 at Alsager college near Crewe and again we went to Manchester Airport to welcome Dr Wierwille and a much bigger group of Americans this time - they had chartered an entire

aeroplane. At the pinning ceremony for returning WOWs, Bob asked me to put his WOW pin on him which I felt very privileged to do and I told him that nobody else was going to do that on my return but him. I saw apparent miracles of healing occurring, including a blind woman whom I had known from the Manchester Branch recover her sight (although this later proved to be temporary) but at the time this made all of us feel even more enthusiastic and convinced of the truth of VPW's teachings on the Law of Believing. I do not remember much about the

training now and VPW himself only did one session but I remember the commissioning. There were a newly married couple whom I had been getting on well with and a guy whom I had met in Bristol during Robert's year there and

who had taken the class there. I remember that the four of us had sat down the previous evening and said how nice it would be for us all to go WOW together and that is exactly what happened! I think that there were around 100

people who were going WOW (including European ones) and I remember enthusing to VPW as I shook his hand about how our believing had actually come about and he did not seem particularly surprised about that. Other strange things happened too. We were on the train to Hull (a city in the north east of England where we were assigned), wearing our name badges and a clergyman came up to us and told us he had been involved with Dr Wierwille many years before when he had come over to Manchester and Macclesfield on a preaching tour. He gave us his name and address and we undertook to send that information on.

I remember we nearly gave up that first night. When we arrived in Hull we spent hours walking around just trying to find a place to stay for the night - all the Bed and Breakfasts were full due to some big convention or something. What kept us going was to repeat to ourselves verses of scripture such as "I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread" and literally the last place we came to was the only one with vacancies! After that we had a flat (very basic but very cheap) within

three days and two of us had part time jobs. Phil (the co-ordinator) never managed to find and hold down a job though and I think this very often got him down and he sometimes went without food because he took "if a man will

not work, neither shall he eat" very seriously. We did have other problems regarding the guidelines as well - I ended up full-time in a job (it was offered) and we met a guy who ended up moving in with us, again against the guidelines. Our Branch leader was Chris Kent who was in his interim year from the Way Corps (Chris was also Robert Wilkinson's brother in law) and whilst he was always pulling us up about something or other was never nasty about it and he used to take us out for trips in his van. We did, however, manage to run a PFAL class, although the first guy we signed up joined the Royal Air Force before he could take it. We did later er a much nicer flat (apartment).

One of the rules was that you could not go home for anything less than a dire emergency such as a family death or serious illness and my brother was going to be getting married which I was informed did not count. However I was determined to go anyway because my family would have been very hurt and upset otherwise and I remember how guilty I felt about it and how I had to duck whilst sitting in the car when I saw someone I knew from the Way in the street. Nothing was ever officially said about it however.

Robert's family had moved down to Poole in Dorset and we agreed that I would move down and that we would set up a Way Home with his brother after completing my WOW year. Robert naturally returned the compliment at the pinning ceremony. Nothing seemed to work about "Moving the Word" there however and the Branch Leader (Penny, Interim Corps) asked us to move in with her in Bristol which we then did (apart from Robert's brother who went home to his parents).

Robert and I then later found a flat which became a centre of TWI activity for several years with people moving in and out on a pretty regular basis. Robert decided to go WOW again and this time was sent to Ireland (this was

the last year that anyone could do it more than once). He had been to the live PFAL class held in Muncie Indiana and whilst in Ireland (Cork) was preparing to take the advanced class and after his year he moved into a Way home in Rugby along with a lady from Ireland who was later to become his wife. I was the best man at their wedding in County Galway around a year

later ? a register office in Rugby followed by a Way Wedding ceremony conducted by Padraig Butterly. I remember feeling very left out as the major language being used was Irish Gaelic and missed out on what was obviously a humorous speech by Padraig in that tongue. I did manage to propose a toast to the Bride and Groom in that language after a lot of coaching!

In Bristol I ended up being a Twig leader - I was never officially appointed to the position but there were no WOWs being sent to Bristol, no Corps, and others, like Robert had moved elsewhere and I even managed to run a PFAL class and was pretty devastated when I was suddenly replaced by one of the new grads

who was officially appointed by one of the first UK Corps grads to be ordained a Reverend. I knew this guy before he went and he was a relaxed individual with a good sense of humour, when he came back he was a completely changed person - serious, certain of himself and who expected respect and obedience. He even went round the flat and told myself and my flatmate off because he reckoned we had not neatly folded our socks and underwear, telling us how even simple things like that were spiritual! We had to stand when he entered a room - this has never been expected of us by anyone in a domestic situation before! It started to make me wonder about what exactly was happening - I had known several British Corps grads and none of them had been like this! Maybe being a Reverend had gone to his head! I had never had major problems with Chris Kent's attitude or Penny's (the lady we moved in with from Poole). I had not liked the European WOW co-ordinator in my WOW year - Christoph Stoop but then I put that down to him being a Dutchman and I had not known him before. He knew I had gone home for my brother's wedding against his explicit orders but he never did anything about that either.

I felt reassured by the fact that we got another Corps grad who I had known before from Manchester - he was just the same kind of guy as before and was not on an ego trip. He suggested that I apply for the Corps myself which I then did but Robert A. Wilkinson decided that I was not suitable so my

application (after having shelled out £15 for it) would not be processed but he never really told me why apart from I was "not sufficiently into the Word, not moving it enough" if he felt that then he could have told me before I applied (he knew I was going to) and that I should meekly accept the decision he had made. Far from generating enthusiasm for even greater amounts of endeavour it started to sow the seeds of doubt. Robert (the one who got me into the Way) had applied for the Corps and been accepted but then changed his mind due to his deciding to get married. He could not believe this, the Corps grad (another Robert) could not believe it either, and after that I started to lose heart. I can identify with that "how much to you have to do to please the leaders" problem ? I had kept Bristol running for two years without any leadership help and gone to every class/seminar I could apart from the Advanced Class, and yet had been ?demoted? without any explanation or consultation. Other things were starting to go through my mind at this time, however, especially my feelings about TWI's attitude to homosexuality. I was aware of homosexual feelings and had been more than a little in love with Robert (although I had never tried anything on with him) and heard the leadership becoming increasingly strident in its condemnation of even homosexual feelings, all down to demonic possession etc. No differentiation between inclination and practice was made!

Craig Martindale was the worst. I remember a weekend in Kenilworth when he held forth on the subject for over an hour, laying the blame for the collapse of the Greek and Roman civilisations and claiming that it was totally absent in nature "did you ever hear of a gay kangaroo" was one of his phrases (later I saw a TV programme that demonstrated homosexual

behaviour in kangaroos). What I found even more disturbing was the reactions this got - some kind of collective hysteria that showed no

compassion or understanding - it was all spiritual and demon possession stuff and I felt extremely uncomfortable - I was sure that I was not possessed and nobody had suggested that I was, even those who liked to see devil spirits in so many different situations had no "discernment" about me. We even used to have a little joke about Dr Wierwille's phrase "God bless, you're the best" and turned it into "God bless, you're possessed". Some of us were feeling cynical about just how much some Way people were ascribing things to the work of the Devil. And who taught the "Dealing with the Adversary" class? Craig Martindale! One cannot criticise the part about memorising scripture (or "retemorising" as he called it) but one verse was later to stand out - "be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you". Not one that appeared later to be one followed by LCM. I have since read his outburst to the Corps and how homosexuals deserve to be executed, this from a womanising, wife-cheating, dictatorial, foul mouthed man who managed to ruin the lives of many people!

In February 1983 I went to Norway to visit a Norwegian guy we had witnessed to in Hull and who had later taken the PFAL class. Dr Wierwille was due to visit Europe and would be visiting Norway so all the Way people in Oslo were busily preparing for his visit and a Norwegian Corps grad was running a PFAL

class in Norwegian (Kraft for et Liv I Overflod) which I sat in on, managing to follow most of it despite the fact that my newly acquired Norwegian was a little shaky. I had an enjoyable fortnight and returned home in time to attend the meeting with Dr Wierwille held near Macclesfield. Little did I know it then but this was the last time I was to see him - his face looked more lined and mottled than it had before and I sensed that something was wrong. I wanted to speak to him and tell him about how much the Norwegian believers were looking forward to his visit but I did not get the chance to. It was also the penultimate

time that I was to see Robert who had come across from Ireland with his wife for the occasion. The warmth of our previous relationship was missing, we had been "best buddies" and confidants, we had lived and shared so much together and yet he now seemed to have so little time for me.

Shortly afterwards I met a guy with whom I had a short-lived relationship. He was an Anglican and I started attending his church in Bristol and I started to lose interest in the Way although the parting process was not instantaneous. I went to Oxford for a Dial a Sunday Night service connection on the telephone

and went to another function that showed the video of VPW handing over to LCM. I and other local believers went to a meeting with LCM when he visited Bristol before this in his suite at the Holiday Inn, when he was the President "elect" and felt that he had changed - I remember him being able to laugh and to be sociable and now he looked very serious and important - his eyes did not smile and I felt that he kept on staring at me with no element of friendliness in his eyes. The doubts increased.

I rarely attended Twigs now but kept in touch with some of the local Way people on a social basis. I actually lost contact with Robert who had moved to London and it was two years before I saw him again - I managed to obtain his address and wrote to him. Dr Wierwille had just died and there was a lot of disillusionment over what LCM was doing and the Europeans appeared to be splitting off from the Root. He wrote back saying how saddened he had been by Dr's death and invited me to visit and renew our friendship and that he would shortly be going back to Ireland. I was able to combine the visit with a training course from work and whilst it was great to see him there was no spark of what we had been to each other. We went out for a drink and I "came out" to him both about my homosexuality and the fact that I was no longer a Way believer and also about doubts created by my last encounter

with a Way meeting which I shall relate in a moment. From that moment he was formal and although he accompanied me to Paddington station he did not hang around to wait for the train and see me off - a quick hug and he was

gone. I wrote several letters to his Irish address but never received a single reply - was this a result of the mark and avoid policy that appears to have been introduced? Who knows?

All I can say is that I still miss him and think of him now, not from any sexual point of view but because of the friendship we once had. Something killed it on his side as I would still be his friend again tomorrow. We would not agree on the Way, that is for sure but friends if they care for each other do not have to agree on everything.

Anyway that last Way encounter. There was a girl named Karen whom had taken the PFAL class when Robert was in Bristol, a lively bubbly girl with a great sense of humour and whom even I could have fallen for, we even started writing to each other. Her sister and her mother also took the class. She went into

the Way Corps and I did not see her for some years. She came back to Bristol to replace the Robert who had suggested I applied for the Corps since he had married an American girl and went to live in the USA. I heard through the grapevine that she had returned and so I went to a Twig where she was living. She did not come into the room until the Twig started and she left as soon as the Twig finished. She never looked at me or smiled or acknowledged my presence ? it was the worst case of complete personality change that I have ever seen and

I cried about it all the way home. I resolved then that I would have nothing to do with the Way although I would remain friendly with everyone who wished to remain friendly with me. Nobody has. A friend of mine (also a lapsed grad) has a birthday party every year on 31 December and when I could make it there was one girl, Jane, who was still involved and who told me how things were going but only from the European (Gartmore) point of view, she knew nothing of what was going on in the USA.

Well so far this has been a personal story rather than anything else and has neither been pro or anti as such. The more I discover though the more I think that the TWI that I knew is not the TWI that it became under Martindale. Going through No Way Out and recently GS Café it has been like reliving a portion of my life and has resurrected old memories - both good and bad. I found myself crying the first time I read Passing of a Patriarch and other stuff on No Way Out as it helped to explain so much to me about events that I had notknown that much about given that LCM had only just taken over when I dropped out finally. It was clear that the policy of all money raised in a country

stayed in that country had been suddenly rescinded and that things were starting to break up on a huge scale. When he knew he was dying Dr Wierwille must have thought that settling the succession before his death

would settle things - the death of Joseph Smith had left confusion amongst the early Mormons and he did not want the same kind of thing to happen so he tried the prophetic succession thing as Elijah had done with Elishah and I

remember the video of the transfer of his mantle very well - it was a very emotional moment with relief, doubt and hope being all intermixed. Do I think that if Dr were truly prophetic that he would still have chosen Craig

Martindale? Absolutely not! Reading the tales of horror from those who have had experience of Martindale's leadership I was truly appalled. It had gone from Dr's phrase that "the Word of God is the will of God" to "the word

of Craig is the will of God", two entirely different concepts. What I have since read on GS Café only reinforces what a devastatingly incompetent decision that had been. I remember being told at the time that Dr Wierwille had ?prayerfully? considered all believers before reaching his decision, well some answer!

Not only had Europe split from the root but obviously there have been splits in the USA as well. John Lynn was always one of my favourite teachers and you could not help laughing at his jokes and his humour. Howard Allen had seemingly betrayal of his long time friend's memory and I even more disgusted by his reported comments as to why the WOW programme had been stopped - gay infiltration etc! Well this gay guy was never accused by such discernment nor stopped being a WOW Ambassador nor accused of an agenda. And how did they find out that some of the intending WOWs were gay? The old devil spirit discernment thing? Nothing but a load of homophobic bullshine to cover up deeper problems.

I was also interested to read Dr Wierwille stating that he had bought his son Donny's Doctor's degree, especially after the ontroversy created about the circumstances of his own. It was presented at the time as all Donny's own work as I remember. ?This is one Wierwille doctorate they can?t challenge!? I started to wonder if I was the only Way member with a legitimate unchallengeable degree in anything Theological!

Dr Wierwille did teach many erroneous things but that does not mean that everything taught was wrong nor would I have accused him of lack of heart or of not correcting people who elevated him to a position of unquestioned

authority. He never challenged being called ?our Father in the Word? but on other occasions he ridiculed that people should view him in such a manner as to be better than Jesus Christ. I found him very approachable and he did not hide behind a wall of inaccessibility not was he always surrounded by others. At the WOW Festival I walked across a deserted dining room quite late at night and there he was, sitting alone reading his Bible and smoking a cigarette. I tried to sneak past, not wishing to disturb him but he still looked up and said ?Good night, God Bless? as I passed. You wrote to him (The Teacher, Box 328 New Knoxville Ohio 45871 of course) and he would write you back in his own hand, he would come up to you and pat your shoulder and say "God bless" if he passed you. He could get on a high horse too of course and could be at times

rude and crude. He could get upset about breaches of etiquette - people starting eating before the top table had been served (I only shared a top table with him once for a meal) also.

Did he plagiarise? Sure he did but I recall that he cited his sources some of the time (although he did claim to have arrived at a conclusion independently on some occasions). Bullinger and Bishop KC Pilai get full

credit for their contributions, even if others don?t.

Did he name drop? - yep. Anyone who could make him sound more legitimate he used but we did not always get much detail on the depth or frequency of his contacts - Karl Barth for instance mentioned in every book as a ?friend and consultant?. Was Barth the Theologian whom he mentions in the Intermediate Class regarding the difference between gifts and manifestations of the spirit who reckoned that several months of study on the subject was required?

Did God speak audibly to him? I believed that at one time but no longer - the most charitable thing I can say is that he had managed to convince himself that he did and can give it no more credence than those who claim to have seen the Virgin Mary or Jesus. It was this that he claimed as his authority to be the Man of God but the more I think the more it does not gel. Firstly God was supposed to have taught him ? instead he studies and reads what others have written. Secondly there was nothing we now have as the ?Word? in the first century, only disparate documents which are much later added to the canon of Scripture by the much-hated Church of Rome. The only accepted first century scripture was the Old Testament which Doctor teaches is for our learning only. (Malachi because it talks of cheating God if you don?t cough up your loot excepted)!

Was he ultimately a failure? Again yes. I have no doubt that he started off with the best of intentions but he ended up with a belief in his own infallibility in "rightly dividing" the word and expected people to swallow the hoops he sometimes had to jump through to make things "fit like a hand in a glove" and to go along with his constant need to attack all other

groupings and their belief and practices whilst trying to make himself to be the innocent victim of their attacks on him. Also his espousal of non-religious stuff like the Holocaust denial theory and what constituted a

Semite was nothing to do with "rightly dividing the Word" but everything to do with accepting a certain (discredited) view of history. I believe he was right to attack things like deprogramming - the same people doing it would

deprogramme anybody for money, not out of any religious conviction. He was also right to defend the Way against some of the false claims being made against it at the time by those who had been "deprogrammed" and then "reprogrammed" to make certain claims. He placed a load of people around him who were to prove false which helped to sow the seeds of destruction and

decay, people for whom the organisation became more important than the message. This comes out so clearly in Passing of a Patriarch. Even after Martindale this carries on.

And yes, he ended up not being able to act on his own teachings, cancer and how spiritual that was for example. It is always easy to attack others when you yourself are not going through the same thing (this equally applies to homosexuality). I remember him castigating Uncle Harry in his last illness for his lack of believing in public at a meeting in Harrogate. It was just as easy for him to create a basis of homophobia later to be taken to extremes by Craig Martindale. Fortunately I was out by the time the full force of this was expressed ? out of the Way and Out of the Closet.

Was he political? Absolutely - there was no doubt as to where his political sympathies lay. I remember his report of he and Dotsie attending Regan's inaugural. Correct me if I am wrong but those who have made substantial

contributions to political campaigns get invited to inaugurals. He never

claimed a private fortune of his own so where did the money come from? Presumably from abundant sharings which then lead to the trouble with the IRS. He was also happy to be associated officially with representatives of

right wing political regimes such as Argentina. Ricardo Cabellero was the son of a member of the Argentinean Junta who was officially invited to visit New Knoxville in his capacity of Argentinean State Railways - a weird job

for a general! Also of course his espousal of Holocaust denial created an embarrassing link with pro and Neo-Nazi groupings as did his visit to the beaches of Normandy when he wondered if we had been fighting the wrong foe -

i.e. that we should have joined Hitler in fighting Communism instead. I hasten to add that I also have no time for any of the more orthodox religious leaders who also dabble in politics - the Pat Robertsons of this world for

instance.

Was he anti-Semitic? No I do not believe he was unless you can call political opposition to the standardly held Holocaust theory anti-Semitic.

There was never any discrimination shown that I know of to members of the Jewish Faith or people who came from the Jewish race, in fact we had several PFAL grads from Judaism in the UK. I never came to terms with this theory and have concluded that the evidence for the holocaust is too overwhelming to be an

elaborate con trick.

Was the Way a cult? One has to bear in mind that one man's heresy is another man's orthodoxy (aeresis the holding of a contrary opinion) and it is one of those phrases that can be used emotively. One cannot base a judgement just on doctrinal differences alone. There were certainly elements that could be called cultic although this was often blown out of all proportion by opponents. I remember the headline in one of our populist newspapers the Sun reporting a forthcoming European WOW Festival as:

US GUN CULT MOVES IN

No attribution of sources, no proof of any kind - implying that Dr Wierwille and Co would be landing at Manchester Airport armed to the teeth and that the Home Secretary had only "reluctantly" given his permission for the event to take place. Now he could have stopped Dr entering the country but he could not have stopped those of us who were natives from holding it. Yes there were gun courses but America is one big "gun cult" in this respect (hides from NRA disapproval). I believe the assurances of those that I knew who had been through the Corps, that this was never done in a paramilitary fashion, was done with approved instructors, that TWI people do not customarily carry weapons and that it was only part of other outside activities - "heinous" ones such as abseiling and mountain climbing for instance.

There was certainly the "Fuhrerprizip", the leadership principle (taken to the ultimate expreme by Martindale) and the notion that only those in the Way were part of the "household" as opposed to merely the "family" of God (yet in Rome slaves could be part of the household but not the family ? a higher privilege!) and some people did go overboard on the scare tactics of how easily we would all become victims of Satan if we went outside of its protection but this was far from universal as was how other Christians were viewed. Dr certainly had great respect for John Wesley and for George Muller (whose grave we in Bristol we used to keep well tended at his request and for which he also expressed gratitude).

But such negative attacks tend to be self defeating and only help, where they can be shown to be clearly spurious, to help to stiffen the resolve of those inside. Craig Martindale has done a far far better job at getting people out of the Way than such attacks do. Facts that can be documented on such sites as this also do a much better job.

Is the Way a cult now? If what I have read is true about how it has been under Craig Martindale the answer has to be a resounding yes. He has performed a palace revolution of astounding proportions and he made it very

much a one man band with no room for manoeuvre or dissent. He drove out anyone of standing who might question his authority and also those whom did not fit in with his concept of religious or heterosexual purity. It can be

difficult enough trying to be Christian and gay, he had made it impossible. How often we were told that a "text taken out of context becomes a pretext" and it is clear that no attempt has been made to handle the scriptural

references to the subject on anything but the surface with inbuilt prejudice and that goes against Dr's own comments about one not predetermining what one will find when one is truly researching including checking, as PFAL taught us, for previous usage. I have no doubt now that if I had not left when I did I would have been thrown out anyway. I was also horrified to read about "abundant sharing" being monitored and accounted for against the individual and the wonderfully Scriptural ?God won?t spit in your direction for less than 15%? ? that never happened in my day - more indication of a total mania for control. You put in what you wished - you never asked who had contributed what and there was no ?backdated? tithing. The teaching (or rather non-teachings since they are just rules) on debt further amaze me. Yet more money, more ?celestial loot? for the centre. It is amazing that those groupings who place the most emphasis on people?s giving are the ones who consider themselves the only ones entitled to receive the money!

Well that is about it - I have taken hours to type this and I realise that it might all seem a little wandering and disjointed. But if I can add my voice to the testimony of those others being given to current or prospective TWI believers I am happy to do so (not that it appears there are very many of those these days). I have tried to be balanced and am also willing to reply to any correspondence people may wish to make about what I have written. Whilst some people may survive their experience with the Way relatively unscathed (I am one I think) I think of those whose lives and whose personalities have been ruined, the friendships that have been killed off, of those who were looking for hope, love, acceptance, compassion and understanding, for those who gave so much time and money and sacrifice only to find it all in vain.

I believe Dr Wierwille was sincere at the beginning, but as he taught himself, sincerity is no guarantee of Truth, and that he ended up creating a monster that ended up destroying him and that went beyond his ability to control. At the same time it was a monster that needed him, without him it is nothing. The Christian Church could grow and expand without Peter and Paul, the Way on the other hand is lost and doomed without Victor Paul Wierwille.

Trefor John Heywood M.Theol, PFAL Grad, former WOW & Twig Leader

Wales UK

April 2003

[excathedra]

i really want to thank you for your heartfelt bio, tref

thank you thank you thank you

[excathedra]

dear paw, this bio section should be AT LEASTabove the corps thread

[suz]

Thanks also from me,

amazing reading this history from UK point of view. I only knew it from the USA view. Many similarities took place in both countries!!

many outcomes also.

Thanks for your honesty also.

Suz

PS is it still available for you to be ordained in the Church there??

Have you read Absolute Truth's by Susan Howatch??

[vickles]

wow Tref, thankyou so much for your honesty and heart. I appreciate your sharing and it was interesting to read your standpoint from across the sea.

[lindyhopper]

THanks for sharing some of your experiences and views.

TWI has so much hate it is frightening.

I hope the past twenty years have been much better for you.

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that shwing.

[Trefor Heywood]

Many thanks for te kind comments so far! :D-->

Ex Cathedra (from the Bishop's chair) may your statements be ever infallible.

Suz - I have not pursued ordination kind of put off by the fact that even the Church of England doesn't like ordaining homosexuals. The new Archbishop of Canterbury (Rowan Williams) is pretty gay friendly but there is a lot of ignorance and homophobia out there in the Anglican Church still. He is a good, thoughtful and refelctive man whose spirituality knocks the spots of VPW or LCM. I have not read nor indeed heard of the book you refer to (Absolute Truths by Susan Howatch) - what is special about it?

Vickles to be accurate (well that word was used a lot in the Way lol) it's across the Ocean not the sea! :P--> But I'm glad if has given a fresh and different prospective to experiences in the USA.

Lindyhopper - yes there was a lot of hate, but in many individuals a lot of love too. Makes me feel old when I saw your DOB! The years have had their ups and downs but at least I have not had to throw money and effort into the Way nor submit to the self-important and maniac pretensions of its leaders that I did when I was "In".

It was healing to get this stuff of my chest and to find others who have been through it and share common experiences and to be able to share.

Trefor Heywood

[diazbro]

Good post. Thanks for documenting your experience. I'm sure many people will be influenced by this even those who have long

departed the way.

One thing you said..

Trefor said:

I had kept Bristol running for two years without any leadership help and gone to every class/seminar I could apart from the Advanced Class, and yet had been ?demoted? without any explanation or consultation.

>>

Man I can relate. In 76 my area was a hotbed of

activity which was largely the result of people

in my Limb having been friends prior to joining TWI. So it was easy and almost effortless to

get people to take the class because it was bein

g recommended by people who had been childhood friends. Anyway - after we had had run like 3 classes in rapid succession with no less than 20 students each , HQ sent down some "professional believers" who were there to tell us "how to coordinate and lead".

But basically they killed the whole scene - Its like "thanks but we are here now so we'll be leading classses and planning activities - if you want to help then perhaps you can cook for visting leadership or help them get moved in".

It was like a light switch that had been turned out - people felt devalued and alientated by

these cold, arrogant people who were supposedly "salted men of god".

Twig attendance dwindled as did class enrollment. Of course to top it off , the visiting HQ leaders blamed it on us local believers - said we were smoking

marijuana and had allowed the adversary to tear

down the momentum. It was all manufactured and

bogus and we knew it. It was the local

believers who had built it all up - we did it locally with the WOWs in that area - hell we TOOK them witnessing - they got off easy. but the "pros" from HQ completely alienated everyone. The area never again experienced

a significant level of new class takers at least

until my departure around 85. Of course general

Way membership had started to decline by then

also.

[suz]

The book Absolute Truths' is about The Church of England. Silly me thought it was refering to the Catholic Church,,,,,

but its also about a Bishop in the church, whose life gets completely turned around, and he has to re-examine his whole belief system!

Quite properly writtenin your formal English language also.

Just an amazing book, full of wisdom.

D-- I hear ya man, same' o'l story in many places with "unqualified" people running area's. Sure glad they sent in the troops to clean things up!

Suz :D-->

[Trefor Heywood]

Thanks for the contribution diazbro and for your kind comments about my story.

Yes the tendency to try and take over and control was quite common - they tried to fix what wasn't broken in the first place. One of the great things about local Twigs was the closeness and informality of the members, they shared and fellowshipped and nobody tried to be better than someone else. As a Twig leader I was happy to get others to teach and to lead meetings and use their own talents and abilities. We did not need outside people to be imposed upon us purely on the basis that they were Corps or, even worse, "Reverends". My experience of Way Reverends was that they thought themselves a race apart for whom respect and obedience should be automatic no matter what chaos they might actually cause. Far from increasing people's interest it put them off and was definitely disheartening for those of us who were genuine activists.

And yes it was never their fault - people were not meekly and obediently following their leaders in the Word, not living it or moving it enough etc. One Reverend sat through sessions of the Intermediate Class in Bristol smoking, he considered it a privilege he had earned and was a good example of discipline for the rest of us who had to wait (gasping lol) for the break. I have already covered that he wanted to know how we stored our underwear and socks! Small wonder that people contrasted such behaviour with what they were used to!

Trefor Heywood

[Trefor Heywood]

Thanks so much for your contribution Ginger Tea!

I got out before Martindale went crazy so am only able to talk about the time when VPW was in charge or at least whilst he was still alive and I guess those who experienced "Way II" had a harder time of it.

But the call for leadership was always there and who wouldn't want to do their best to attain that - how great would be the rewards at the bema for doing so? !

I am hoping to find out news, as time goes by, of those whom I knew, especially those who did go into the Corps, I have already had a couple of leads. But we all have our stories to tell, our experiences to share. The Way affected us in different ways and we are dealing with that in different ways and these forums are certainly a great way of speaking our minds and hearts. Perhaps my theology and your psychology helped us to see things as they were a little sooner than others but we can all contribute to each other's recovery and if in my own small way I can do that then all well and good! :D-->

Betcha have some great times on that coast!

Trefor Heywood

[AdiosMiCorazon]

Hello and welcome!

Your story was interesting and very well written. I usually have to print the long posts and read them later, but I could not stop reading yours.

TWI was a different experience for everybody. Some were hurt very badly by VPW, some were treated with kindness by him. VPW died before I got in, the year was 1986. I stayed for three years before I decided it was not for me.

You are right LCM was the worst. I remember him getting all frothy at the mouth and going on and on about homosexuals. I use to stand up and cheer with the rest of them. It seemed that his teachings became more and more about homos and less and less about being kind.

Years later I became friends with a homosexual man. He was one of the kindest people I have ever met. We talked about everything. I told him about my TWI days and what I use to believe. He just listened, never passed judgment. Now according to LCM doctrine, my friend is the evil one? That man threw logic right out the window.

Glad you are here. Hope you stick around for a bit.

[Trefor Heywood]

Adios thanks so much for your kind words and your contribution.

Despite what I now know about VPW I was one of those who got nothing but kindness from him. I never really saw "the dark side of the force".

But with LCM I was starting to see that before I left. The one time I actually heard him set forth about homosexuality I cheered and clapped and laughed with the rest, I went along, I cannot go back and change that now.

I wonder how many people that clapped and cheered actually knew someone who was homosexual - by that I mean out as opposed to being "in the closet". It's always easy to attack an unknown bogeyman and to stereotype people.

You found that the stereotype was a myth. I knew it was but had not the strength at the time, nor I guess the conviction. I have both now! :)-->

Trefor Heywood

[Sudo]

Trefor,

You weren't at the Advanced class held in Peebles Scotland at the Hotel Hydro in 1981 by any chance? I was the lone American new student there.

sudo

[Trefor Heywood]

No Sudo I wasn't.

I never took the advanced class - I was intending to but when Robert Wilkinson blocked my Corps application I started to lose interest in rushing into it and then I gradually started to lose interest in a Way "career" as well.

The closest I got to Peebles was a retreat for Anglican students when I was at university held in Walkerburn not too far away.

Trefor Heywood

[E. W. Bullinger]

Dear Trefor:

First of all let me give you a belated welcome to the GreaseSpot Cafe. I read your story and I was very blessed. You wrote honestly and dispassionately about your experiences. What I found most disarming was your willingness to discuss your private feelings and emotions. I think you have the blood of a Welsh bard running in your veins.

The part of your story that really brought back fond memories to me was when you spoke of the UK Believers. I was in England and Scotland in 1986 and I had met some of the people that you mentioned. I recalled how many of the Believers treated me with great kindness and went out of their way to be hospitable. I especially remember the twig in Edinburgh. When I came back to the States I continued to write to a number of people. Chris Kent asked me to join him to help take care of Muller's grave site in Bristol. I did not, but when I read your story I wish I had accompanied him. Who knows, maybe I might even have met you there.

EWB

[Trefor Heywood]

Dear EWB,

Many thanks for you kind comments about my story! May I congratulate you upon your edition of the Bible! :)-->)

Alas not Welsh except by residence and name. I lived in Macclesfield not too far from the Kent family and only moving around has brought me to the "Land of my Father's" (Gwlad fy'n Hadau).

But George Muller is still inspiring. When I was a Twig leader in Bristol one of the ladies who came had been raised in the Muller Homes and there was a celebration of his life held there for those who had been raised in the home and I attended it. Looking after the grave was easy after you managed to find it and got rid of the undergrowth which has surrounded it for God knows how long.

I hope it is still being cared for but I don't know. Will have to take a trip to Bristol and check it out.

Trefor Heywood

[satori001]

Trefor,

A tale taught, and a taut tale, each well told. Nice work.

I can try not to imagine the volleys of filth to erupt from the gaping piehole of "Reverend" Martindale upon reading himself being "spiritually" emasculated so handily by a..., you know, a "homo." Suffice it to say, out of the abundance of the heart, the piehole volleyeth.

The only relevance of your sexuality here, as I see it, is to give the lie to The Way's depraved piety, as its blindness to your own humanity. You're a lot more of a real "man" than Martindale could ever be. He's still working on being human.

As for VPW's nobler motives in the Way's "Wonder Years," I think they were convenient pretexts born of opportunism in the fertile mind of a wolf wearing wool. "Wierwool." Their form, sum and substance (as scripture) did take root in the pure hearts of young (and not so young) followers, and those were responsible for anything good coming out of New Knazerethville. Wierwille's occasional shows of modesty, which you pointed to, like his made-for-TV shows of compassion, were self-gratifying indulgences and of course, theater.

I don't know if you are aware that Martindale did not invent spitting on the homos as a teaching tool. VPW, as in all things Way, led the Way.

Pity you don't care for Reagan. As perceptive as you can be, you've got his crowd all wrong. Federalists, for lack of a better label, may seem to lean right, but they are tilting neither left nor right. They are simply "upright." :)--> But that's another, and long lost topic.

Best of luck and happiness to you, and yours.

Regards...

[Trefor Heywood]

satori001

"I can try not to imagine the volleys of filth to erupt from the gaping piehole of "Reverend" Martindale upon reading himself being "spiritually" emasculated so handily by a..., you know, a "homo." Suffice it to say, out of the abundance of the heart, the piehole volleyeth."

I like to think that there is someone in TWI that reads these forums, especially as their own website it so crassly boring. To find out what we "outies" actually think and say. To show them how they were, and are, engaged in mind games on such issues and not dealing with spiritual actualities.

"The only relevance of your sexuality here, as I see it, is to give the lie to The Way's depraved piety, as its blindness to your own humanity. You're a lot more of a real "man" than Martindale could ever be. He's still working on being human."

Thanks for those kind words. Humanity is something wider and more varied than the narrow thought processes of TWI allowed. It tried to squeeze humanity into its own definition. I certainly know how to treat a lady!

As to Regan, I am not aware that I made any comment further than why VPW managed to get an invite to his Inaugural.

I was not aware that VPW had invented a spitting technique and passed it on, that was an illuminating comment.

Best wishes to you and yours also.

Trefor Heywood

[satori001]

Humanity is the thing, Trefor. Every dogma seeks in one way or another to mold it into the craven image of a slave. Humanity is too much for them. They might call it the "natural man," and they fear it, but they realize they need it too. So they seek to confine it, enslave it. That may be why slaves are held in such high esteem by the great religions. It's propaganda. "Mind control." We are universally exhorted by their holynesses to aspire to become slaves of Truth, for only as slaves can we become "free." We'll believe just about anything, won't we?

As for the Reagan point, there was no directly critical comment, yet you included the Argentinian junta, neo-Nazism, Hitler, and even Pat Robertson (for whom you have no time) in the same paragraph. Random coincidence? Very likely. But on the off chance I was correct, I thought I'd put in a good word for the Gipper's character.

Regards...

[Trefor Heywood]

Yes it is all control sartori001. Basically the "natural man" was anything TWI didn't like - that is except when it came to when they wanted sex!

The link with the junta etc was unintentional. I have no political axe to grind with "the Gipper". It's sad he is now suffering from Alzheimers.

Trefor Heywood

[dougie73]

Hey Trefor thank you so much for sharing and it touched me deeply. Thanks again for that wonderful perspective from your corner of the world ! I knew someome that was a wow in the UK and what she shared on her experience and yours too really was enlightening to me on the Way of GB. Thanks again !

[Trefor Heywood]

Good grief - is it really a year since anyone posted anything on this thread?

Thanks for the kind comment dougie - wonder if I know the person who was a WOW here in the UK?

[kaptainkremen]

Just to add to this thread, I am Dave, brother of Bob, that Trefor had mentioned in the opening post. I was able to locate Trefor thru this forum, and he, Bob and myself were able to meet up in Bristol last week. It was a time of healing for all of us. I had not forgiven myself for going along with the herd and condemning gay people for being who they are, and had often wondered how Tref was doing. Bob had managed to come to terms with the way that he had behaved in relation to gay people, and we had a wonderful time, swapping stories and we have been staying in contact.

Now, if only I could find my dear friend, Helen Hodges, who I knew in Bristol, the circle will be complete......

Edited October 4, 2009 by kaptainkremen