I wrote my brothers and focused on his accomplishments and selflessness which included his military career. I included humorous accounts after heart breaking ones so that I didn't leave the folks in the room with deeper sadness than they had coming in. And I included a picture of him on the memorial page of text and had a copy ready so that everyone that came could take one home with them.
I hope that helps dear one.
We also had a whole section of pictures of him from a baby to right before he died and that seemed to make folks laugh and cry as they looked at them and remembered. It was a good idea so I'm glad you are doing the same.
The most memorable and comforting memorial services I've attended were a celebration of the person's life. So pick some of the best memories you have and share them. You'll probably have many of them, so pick those that displayed his best qualities or things he was best known for and share those.
For example - at my mother's:
Babe could never pass up a good sale! One time she got her husband to drive her to Kohl's because there was a huge sale on pantyhose. She spent almost a half hour picking out various colors etc and when she checked out there were 24 pair in her basket. Now we remember her as always being in a wheelchair so what did she need with 24 packages of pantyhose? She bought them for her daughter and daughter-in-law - but Babe could never pass up a sale.
When it's time to say our final good-bye's, it's always a sad moment. But if we leave them with the best memories in the forefront of our minds, it helps cushion the blow and it takes the edge off the sting.
You have contributed alot of great things. I will start a rough draft this afternoon. I love the butterflies,altho, I will only have till next Wednesday..but I will check online for them..THier is so much to say..
Ditto to what Krys said=I did my fathers funeral. We did some pics of his favorite moments along with the good times that was shared about his life and accomplishments.
he is a poem that was read at both my mother and father's funeral
THE SHIP
I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,and I stand and watch her until at length she is only a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky mingle with each other. Then some one at my side exclaims, 'There,she's gone!'
Gone where? Gone from my sight,that is all. She is just as large in hull and mast and spar as she was when she left my side,and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination.
Her diminished size is in me ,not in her.
And just at that moment when some one at my side says "She's gone" there are other eyes watching for her comming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, Look,there she comes.
I am so sorry LAE. Both for the loss of your brother, and that I cannot offer anything to make his memorial more special. I have the feeling it will be special anyway.
Below is a poem I wrote several years ago in honor of all who have ever served in our military. Being a veteran myself I have a soft spot for anyone who has served our country. You are welcome to use it if you want. I pray that God comforts you and your family in this time of grief.
Great Souls
The young man asked the older, “Where do great souls come from?
Are they born or are they made? Do they look like you and me or is their honor and glory always displayed?
Are their feats of courage and honor posted in some great hall?
Do they know their names are revered in heaven and on earth by millions great and small?
Do they love, do they fear, do they nightly engage in revel?
Do they love and honor God, and hate that old serpent, the devil?
Tell me old man, where do great souls come from?
Tell me if you can.”
The old man’s face had that faraway look,
And as he pondered on the answer his body slightly shook.
“I’ll tell you where great souls come from,” the old man quietly said.
“They come from near and far, from the living and the dead.
They are men, and they are women
Who look just like you and me,
Their honor and glory is displayed, but clothed in humility.
When their country called they answered,
They didn’t ask, Why me?
They knew it was for love of God, love of country, and that certain thing called duty.
Sadly, their feats of courage and honor are not posted in some great hall,
The living have their memories, those who have passed on, a decorated wall.
And no, they don’t know their names are revered in heaven and on earth by millions great and small.
Most don’t even care, for fame is fickle and fleeting,
But a thank you from the heart is the greatest reward of all.
Yes, they love, they fear, and nightly they engage in revel.
Most certainly they love and honor God and hate that old serpent, the devil.
Great souls are found in the air, on the land, and on the foam,
Their minds constantly dwelling on that little place called home.
They have sacrificed and endured, they have served their country well,
From Korea to Vietnam and some places much like hell.
From Anzio to Iwo Jima, from Darjeeling to the Berlins.
Young man I tell you true, great souls are those that we call veterans.”
One of the nicest things I have seen for a memorial service is to give people a meaningful remembrance from the person -- not just the canned brochure the funeral home has, but a nice little brochure that has pictures, stuff your brother did/said, address and phone of who can be contacted afterwards, where buried (they can send flowers later,too), any details of stuff that would be forgotten after the moment.
I don't remember much details from any funeral/memorial service I attended due to emotion of the moment, but a remembrance can be a real treasure.
I have done a couple for friends, and they really liked them, and I would be happy to help you put something together if you would like.
The Reno-Sparks Indian Colony where I worked for 3 1/2 years did this kind of thing for all their tribal members, and it is really nice.
The service was awesome. We had military presence, folding of the flag, a gun salute, and they played Taps on the Bugle. My nephew shared and I did also. It was sad, sweet, and done with honor and class.
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ChattyKathy
I wrote my brothers and focused on his accomplishments and selflessness which included his military career. I included humorous accounts after heart breaking ones so that I didn't leave the folks in the room with deeper sadness than they had coming in. And I included a picture of him on the memorial page of text and had a copy ready so that everyone that came could take one home with them.
I hope that helps dear one.
We also had a whole section of pictures of him from a baby to right before he died and that seemed to make folks laugh and cry as they looked at them and remembered. It was a good idea so I'm glad you are doing the same.
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Danny
I'm sorry for your loss.
I was responsible for a few Memorial Services.
The closer the person is it seemed to me the harder to preform.
I looked on it as a Dr. in the heat of the moment i had to preform to help
everyone that was there. Even though on such a sad event.
It sounds you have the basis (poem) to get it done.
Do you have the poem already?
Late in the night a GSer sent me a poem to memorialize my
grandchildren. One of the hardest things I have ever done in my whole
life. I have it in my bible and will retrieve it for you if you need it.
It was very short ( the poem) and to the point. I played a song and prayed a few times.
My daughter read a tearful response'
My wife went online and ordered some butterflies.
I had 2 in each box each sibling released them together as the service ended.
It was in a big tent so the flew away. Very moving event and tearful.
The whole services was about 20 minutes. Make it as long or as short as you need
it's ok to stop and take some long deep breaths if you need or some tears.
It's our human condition.
2slickduck@cox.net if I can help. God bless you and I wish I
could thank your brother for his service to our country.
Be at peace as much as possible.
Planing will make all the difference.
If you pray it's alright to write it down and read it.
Pastors that do services like this often do it by rote.
Read the whole thing out loud at the location if possible before hand
and adjust it needed.
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Belle
(((((LAE)))))
I wish I could help. :( I've been reading poems all morning hoping to find something for you, but nothing seems to be right.
I'm certain one of our resident vets or other special folks will have the perfect words for you.
I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
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krys
The most memorable and comforting memorial services I've attended were a celebration of the person's life. So pick some of the best memories you have and share them. You'll probably have many of them, so pick those that displayed his best qualities or things he was best known for and share those.
For example - at my mother's:
When it's time to say our final good-bye's, it's always a sad moment. But if we leave them with the best memories in the forefront of our minds, it helps cushion the blow and it takes the edge off the sting.
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likeaneagle
Thank you all
You have contributed alot of great things. I will start a rough draft this afternoon. I love the butterflies,altho, I will only have till next Wednesday..but I will check online for them..THier is so much to say..
hugs!!
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polar bear
Dear friend-so sorry to hear about your loss.
Ditto to what Krys said=I did my fathers funeral. We did some pics of his favorite moments along with the good times that was shared about his life and accomplishments.
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coolchef
lae
so sorry for your loss
he is a poem that was read at both my mother and father's funeral
THE SHIP
I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,and I stand and watch her until at length she is only a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky mingle with each other. Then some one at my side exclaims, 'There,she's gone!'
Gone where? Gone from my sight,that is all. She is just as large in hull and mast and spar as she was when she left my side,and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination.
Her diminished size is in me ,not in her.
And just at that moment when some one at my side says "She's gone" there are other eyes watching for her comming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, Look,there she comes.
And that is dying.
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VeganXTC
I am so sorry LAE. Both for the loss of your brother, and that I cannot offer anything to make his memorial more special. I have the feeling it will be special anyway.
Coolchef, I love the poem you offered.
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excathedra
i am so very very sorry
there's a beautiful song by josh groban "to where you are"
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1searcher
I am so sorry for your loss.
Below is a poem I wrote several years ago in honor of all who have ever served in our military. Being a veteran myself I have a soft spot for anyone who has served our country. You are welcome to use it if you want. I pray that God comforts you and your family in this time of grief.
Great Souls
The young man asked the older, “Where do great souls come from?
Are they born or are they made? Do they look like you and me or is their honor and glory always displayed?
Are their feats of courage and honor posted in some great hall?
Do they know their names are revered in heaven and on earth by millions great and small?
Do they love, do they fear, do they nightly engage in revel?
Do they love and honor God, and hate that old serpent, the devil?
Tell me old man, where do great souls come from?
Tell me if you can.”
The old man’s face had that faraway look,
And as he pondered on the answer his body slightly shook.
“I’ll tell you where great souls come from,” the old man quietly said.
“They come from near and far, from the living and the dead.
They are men, and they are women
Who look just like you and me,
Their honor and glory is displayed, but clothed in humility.
When their country called they answered,
They didn’t ask, Why me?
They knew it was for love of God, love of country, and that certain thing called duty.
Sadly, their feats of courage and honor are not posted in some great hall,
The living have their memories, those who have passed on, a decorated wall.
And no, they don’t know their names are revered in heaven and on earth by millions great and small.
Most don’t even care, for fame is fickle and fleeting,
But a thank you from the heart is the greatest reward of all.
Yes, they love, they fear, and nightly they engage in revel.
Most certainly they love and honor God and hate that old serpent, the devil.
Great souls are found in the air, on the land, and on the foam,
Their minds constantly dwelling on that little place called home.
They have sacrificed and endured, they have served their country well,
From Korea to Vietnam and some places much like hell.
From Anzio to Iwo Jima, from Darjeeling to the Berlins.
Young man I tell you true, great souls are those that we call veterans.”
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likeaneagle
CC- Thank you for the time to post your poem..it was touching..
exie ( I will check that out), polar bbear and Vegie- hugs back at you.
Isearcher- That poem had me in tears again..geesh its so true..
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Kit Sober
One of the nicest things I have seen for a memorial service is to give people a meaningful remembrance from the person -- not just the canned brochure the funeral home has, but a nice little brochure that has pictures, stuff your brother did/said, address and phone of who can be contacted afterwards, where buried (they can send flowers later,too), any details of stuff that would be forgotten after the moment.
I don't remember much details from any funeral/memorial service I attended due to emotion of the moment, but a remembrance can be a real treasure.
I have done a couple for friends, and they really liked them, and I would be happy to help you put something together if you would like.
The Reno-Sparks Indian Colony where I worked for 3 1/2 years did this kind of thing for all their tribal members, and it is really nice.
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likeaneagle
Thanks Kit....I think I have it complete. I might have time to complete a card to pass out. That would be thoughtful
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likeaneagle
The service was awesome. We had military presence, folding of the flag, a gun salute, and they played Taps on the Bugle. My nephew shared and I did also. It was sad, sweet, and done with honor and class.
We will be together again one day.
Thank you all
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coolchef
i am glad it was a nice service
again my condolences
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VeganXTC
I'm sure it was beautiful, and a worthy memorial to your brother. Love and peace to you, and your family.
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Dot Matrix
I am glad it went well ((((LAE))))
I just want to share this with you...
This was always a cherished poem to me:
Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.
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likeaneagle
Dot-
Ya made me tear up again..that realy grabed my heart!
THank you
LAE
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