One of the reasons why I asked this........is because my wife and I have discussed this topic on a few occassions. And, invariably.....we see that this "friendship" was really a comaraderie of fellow-workers who rally around a cause. IMO, no true friendships.....not like before-twi-days.
By the mid-90s, it was full-blown squeal-on-your-neighbor-communism-style.
Heck, twi hardly has anything that resembles true fellowship..........let along TRUE FRIENDSHIP.
Reluctantly.......and I really mean that (very reluctantly)......I had to finally admit to myself that twi was (is) a CULT.
Once outside the cult-system..................FRIENDS appear once again.
yes, i did, remarkably. some are still my friends today--even though we disagree on "doctrinal" issues. and others i've had no contact with for many years, but still miss.
of course, there were plenty who were NOT true friends, or friends in any sense.
Agreed. Comraderie. Common Goals. That is what most of my "friendships" were in twi. The exception being some of the folks I was in the College Program with. That was so much more like "real" college than any other twi program, and we were okay with being more "flawed" than anyone in the corps or wow. I think that environment allowed us to be more natural.
I had "true friends" while in the cult. Don't know how it happened, I guess we just sortof stumbled along the same path. My best "true friend" has now been my sister-in-law for 20 years. :wub:
Most of my bestest friends involved in my life now, were those I've known for decades, my Way sidetracked years included. Despite it all, some of us managed to get that "relationships" are much more important that cult/church affiliation.
I can only speak for myself, and I do have some really close "never been way" friends (from before I got involved, and God Bless em they tolerated me during) And I've met some afterwards, who are precious and irreplacable. But the ones I've known since before, and during, and still speak to me and are involved in my life now, still have a special place in my heart.
And I must say, I have close friends now, that are ex-way, that I wish I'd known when.
I definitely had some true friends in twi. They're still my friends today. We understood/understand each other, had/have common interests (besides twi), and we loved/love each other.
Some of them I don't stay in touch with as often as I'd like to, but when we do talk or see each other, it's as if no time has passed. Hearts knit together and all that.
I also still have true friends from before twi, some true friends I made while I was in twi who weren't in the least bit interested in twi, and true friends I've made after twi.
I had a dear friend from TWI who passed away December 05 and I still think about him everyday and miss him like crazy. He lead me to the Lord and gave me a place to stay and food to eat, aside from teaching me to pray, read the bible and try to love people.
Another friend and I were both excommunicated from a twi splinter. Iwent first and we didn't talk for about a year and he went and then we became closer than brothers. It is that way today although we are many states away.
Those are the two closest, outside of my wife, who left 'normal' church started our married life with me in a splinter. Not sure what she was thinking, but thank God He sent her!
Thank you. He died while still in a little splinter and we didn't talk for the last two years because his 'pastor' said I was possessed. I got to spend about two good months with him as he shut down and passed away (he was still my best friend!). I was really thankful for that time and know for sure it was a total gift from God. It was hard to go back and be in that environment while he died but he welcomed me back which was really unbelievable.
I met lots of great people in the Way, "great" being nice, trustworthy, helpful, compassionate, fun. I count the friendships I had while in the Way one of the most valuable things about it.
Friendship was where it all started for me in '68. Friends telling friends.
Time and distance separates, but I figure that if someone was my friend once they still are, in heart if not in presence. Some things don't change, not for me anyway.
I was just thinking about this topic on my way home from work. I have my husband and one girlfriend from my Way days(20 yrs.) Most of those friendships were conditional...
Another person, an Innie, contacts me several times a year, but I think she wants us to go back to TWI. Still I can at least count her as a friend!
In the past few years I have reconnected with all my college friends, which has been fun. In fact several of us are meeting in our college town this summer.
Real, honest to goodness friends? I'm sad to say, NO. I had a best friend while on Staff. We shared a lot in common and hung out all the time, enjoying shopping and girl talk. I was the maid of honor in her wedding. I called her about 6 months ago. She thought it was "sad" I couldn't work out my "issues" so I could stay in TWI. I never heard from her again.
So much for a REAL friend. It saddens me that our friendship was based on my fellowship with the ministry. She doesn't realize I didn't give up on God; I gave up on an organization. I love God more than I ever did.
True friends were the ones who sttod by you when the going was at its worst. The ones who would take you aside and gently explain what you did that was wrong according to the Word. True friends were the ones who would run at 2:00 A.M. if you had a crisis or even a minor problem and not get upset for you interrupting their sleep. True friends are the ones that sat with you and cried with you at the loss of a family member and showed you how to deal with the grief that came with it.
Unfortunately, after about '86 those friends became very few and far between because evryone was either leaving due to the crack-downs or they were so afraid the gestapo might "M&A" them for caring about someone's feelings instead of spouting the party line. After one loss a BC actually had nerve enough to tell me that my believing must not have been big enough and that was why I suffered the loss of a relative. By the 2000's it was so bad, that you could lose a parent and you would not even get a sympathy card from HFC's. Instead, you get told " when you get where you are going, make sure you check in with local LC and let them know where you are & phone # and report evry day what your plans are. I basically laughed in their face & hung the phone up on them. Once the s**t started, friends disappeared quickly.
Today, I know an LC who actually is halfway human and treats people with a little real respect. Do NOT ask me how that happened!!!
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Belle
A Friend
A friend is one who sits by you in fellowship....
Will tell your HFC where you've been....
And what you've said so that they
Can spit in your face and try to force you to grow.
THAT'S the kind of friends I had in TWI.
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skyrider
Belle..........Too funny.
One of the reasons why I asked this........is because my wife and I have discussed this topic on a few occassions. And, invariably.....we see that this "friendship" was really a comaraderie of fellow-workers who rally around a cause. IMO, no true friendships.....not like before-twi-days.
By the mid-90s, it was full-blown squeal-on-your-neighbor-communism-style.
Heck, twi hardly has anything that resembles true fellowship..........let along TRUE FRIENDSHIP.
Reluctantly.......and I really mean that (very reluctantly)......I had to finally admit to myself that twi was (is) a CULT.
Once outside the cult-system..................FRIENDS appear once again.
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sprawled out
yes, i did, remarkably. some are still my friends today--even though we disagree on "doctrinal" issues. and others i've had no contact with for many years, but still miss.
of course, there were plenty who were NOT true friends, or friends in any sense.
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TheHighWay
Agreed. Comraderie. Common Goals. That is what most of my "friendships" were in twi. The exception being some of the folks I was in the College Program with. That was so much more like "real" college than any other twi program, and we were okay with being more "flawed" than anyone in the corps or wow. I think that environment allowed us to be more natural.
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copenhagen
I had one couple that were true friends.
These people knew a lot of stupid things I did and still loved me, I would show up to fellowship at 10:30 or later
smelling like a brewery. They would say have a good time last night? Tone it down ok. That was it.
They always had me over for dinner and valued my opnion on how to move the word in our area.
Never full ofthemselves very meek. People in our branch would line up to take a bullet for this couple.
They paid people to watch their kids even when they were full time.
Would come to your house and help with the lawn work and chores and out work us all just for a little bbq and a beer.
I was an adv class grad and ast fellowship cord at the time.
Never once yelled and they were justified to to chew on my azz a little. I was young and full of stupitity.
These people even knew of one couple who had 3 years left on their house to pay.
Mind you this was during the big get out of debt purge. Having debt then was grounds for M@A.
This couple said nothing to the limb cord and even recomended them for the adv class, and they went.
These same people were told by the limb to forget about one lady with a few kids because she was to much trouble
and I believe called a goat and we were looking for lambs.This lady was loved and grew and then went way diciple.
Did I mention these true friends were way corp, and branch cords.
They protected the branch and it grew from 2 fellowships of 12 people to
3 fellowships and about 35 people in the middle of lcm's rage of the mid 1990"s.
Then when the affair stuff came out the y left shortly after
they said this is not what he signed up for.
Yes, there were a few true friends
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ex10
I had "true friends" while in the cult. Don't know how it happened, I guess we just sortof stumbled along the same path. My best "true friend" has now been my sister-in-law for 20 years. :wub:
Most of my bestest friends involved in my life now, were those I've known for decades, my Way sidetracked years included. Despite it all, some of us managed to get that "relationships" are much more important that cult/church affiliation.
I can only speak for myself, and I do have some really close "never been way" friends (from before I got involved, and God Bless em they tolerated me during) And I've met some afterwards, who are precious and irreplacable. But the ones I've known since before, and during, and still speak to me and are involved in my life now, still have a special place in my heart.
And I must say, I have close friends now, that are ex-way, that I wish I'd known when.
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Linda Z
I definitely had some true friends in twi. They're still my friends today. We understood/understand each other, had/have common interests (besides twi), and we loved/love each other.
Some of them I don't stay in touch with as often as I'd like to, but when we do talk or see each other, it's as if no time has passed. Hearts knit together and all that.
I also still have true friends from before twi, some true friends I made while I was in twi who weren't in the least bit interested in twi, and true friends I've made after twi.
Friends are a blessing.
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skyrider
ex10 / Linda
I am NOT surprised that you two had friends in twi.....to me, you both exemplify that type of friendly nature and warmth.
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1broken1
I had a dear friend from TWI who passed away December 05 and I still think about him everyday and miss him like crazy. He lead me to the Lord and gave me a place to stay and food to eat, aside from teaching me to pray, read the bible and try to love people.
Another friend and I were both excommunicated from a twi splinter. Iwent first and we didn't talk for about a year and he went and then we became closer than brothers. It is that way today although we are many states away.
Those are the two closest, outside of my wife, who left 'normal' church started our married life with me in a splinter. Not sure what she was thinking, but thank God He sent her!
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excathedra
i'm so sorry about your friend
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1broken1
Thank you. He died while still in a little splinter and we didn't talk for the last two years because his 'pastor' said I was possessed. I got to spend about two good months with him as he shut down and passed away (he was still my best friend!). I was really thankful for that time and know for sure it was a total gift from God. It was hard to go back and be in that environment while he died but he welcomed me back which was really unbelievable.
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excathedra
a true friend
both of you
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socks
I met lots of great people in the Way, "great" being nice, trustworthy, helpful, compassionate, fun. I count the friendships I had while in the Way one of the most valuable things about it.
Friendship was where it all started for me in '68. Friends telling friends.
Time and distance separates, but I figure that if someone was my friend once they still are, in heart if not in presence. Some things don't change, not for me anyway.
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excathedra
ok i don't feel so bad for being in chat twice
i thought it was the bad excathedra following me around
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Priscilla
We are so blessed to have made great friends while in the Way.
We still are close to a number of them, even tho we moved far away!
We also like to think that Sox and the Mrs are still friends!
Great pix of Maui, Sox.
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socks
Aw gees. This is no way to "c" you!!!
To the readers of GS, Priscilla and her husband are two of the most wonderful people, friends, that anyone could hope to ever meet and know.
You guys are - were - what it was all about.
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excathedra
awwwwww hugs
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Bramble
I was just thinking about this topic on my way home from work. I have my husband and one girlfriend from my Way days(20 yrs.) Most of those friendships were conditional...
Another person, an Innie, contacts me several times a year, but I think she wants us to go back to TWI. Still I can at least count her as a friend!
In the past few years I have reconnected with all my college friends, which has been fun. In fact several of us are meeting in our college town this summer.
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Nottawayfer
Real, honest to goodness friends? I'm sad to say, NO. I had a best friend while on Staff. We shared a lot in common and hung out all the time, enjoying shopping and girl talk. I was the maid of honor in her wedding. I called her about 6 months ago. She thought it was "sad" I couldn't work out my "issues" so I could stay in TWI. I never heard from her again.
So much for a REAL friend. It saddens me that our friendship was based on my fellowship with the ministry. She doesn't realize I didn't give up on God; I gave up on an organization. I love God more than I ever did.
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waysider
My parents made tons of friends who remained true friends long after they all left TWI.
I think their generation had/has a deep understanding of what friendship is all about.
I suppose living through The Great Depression and WWII provided many unsolicated
lessons that most of us(including myself) will never fully comprehend. Life is short.
This ain't no dress rehearsal.
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Vyctorya911
True friends? In TWI? That's funny! When I left they all refused to speak to me.
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railroader II
True friends were the ones who sttod by you when the going was at its worst. The ones who would take you aside and gently explain what you did that was wrong according to the Word. True friends were the ones who would run at 2:00 A.M. if you had a crisis or even a minor problem and not get upset for you interrupting their sleep. True friends are the ones that sat with you and cried with you at the loss of a family member and showed you how to deal with the grief that came with it.
Unfortunately, after about '86 those friends became very few and far between because evryone was either leaving due to the crack-downs or they were so afraid the gestapo might "M&A" them for caring about someone's feelings instead of spouting the party line. After one loss a BC actually had nerve enough to tell me that my believing must not have been big enough and that was why I suffered the loss of a relative. By the 2000's it was so bad, that you could lose a parent and you would not even get a sympathy card from HFC's. Instead, you get told " when you get where you are going, make sure you check in with local LC and let them know where you are & phone # and report evry day what your plans are. I basically laughed in their face & hung the phone up on them. Once the s**t started, friends disappeared quickly.
Today, I know an LC who actually is halfway human and treats people with a little real respect. Do NOT ask me how that happened!!!
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dmiller
In a word --- yes.
I've spoken of them before (in My Story).
They were there before twi.
They were there during twi.
They were there after twi.
We all knew each other before twi,
and we got both *in* and *out* at the same time.
True friends -- hanging together through thick and thin,
figuring out the *nuts and bolts* of life.
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