What's wrong with self-condemnation? If you do wrong you sure as heck want your conscience notifying you. If you do the 'no condemnation' thing enough to turn off your conscience you'll have to apply for a job as Way clergy. :o
I am not a shining example of godliness by any stretch of the imagination but remembering that God is love and He has called to live in grace tells me it aint about me for good or ill...its all about allowing His love live in me. Otherwise, I strain at gnats (not to mention straining and stressing about my own life) and swallow camels. Love keeps all things in proper perspective and keeping love in proper perspective in my life is enough of a challenge to me. I need grace piled high upon grace in order to do that and still I miss it most of the time. Then out of the blue God somehow gets the message to me you need My grace and just allow Me to love you.
There are just times I have to take time for myself and just figure out things. I try to gain perspective by journaling. This helps me to gain insight I might not have had otherwise.
But I always remember I am only human, and I've learned not to beat myself up. I think I'm shedding the outerskins of twi thinking...you know standing approved before your leadership and others.
I try not to take any direction that makes me ill at ease. This is helped me to gain confidence.
I don't know if any of this helps you, but I thought I would share it.
I concur with Oneophile (what does that name mean anyway). I often tell myself that we are all in the same boat with our frailties and shortcomings. Sin runs through our blood man. Like Paul said in Romans that I will not I do and that I will I do not, hence old man and new man. My Grandpappy told me once that I would have good days and I will have bad days. Man aint that true. It's always a balance and the worst mistakes I have made was when I was emotional unstable about something going on on the inside. I think knowing I condemn myself, from the unrealistic expectations teachings of TWI. Thank God I married a counsel to work through some of this junk I have suppressed for so many years. I just know with all of my heart I am forgiven and saved and everything else positive from the Vord is applicable but only if I claim it and wait for the river to calm down.
im a people person and I work a human service type job, which means when people make mistakes people get hurt.
tonite another employee said to me I have made alot of mistakes lately. it weighs on the head when you screw up and another suffers.
but then sometimes I look at it like this we are in the game man, we are giving it a go we are all just trying mistakes and all we are all just trying to help.
at my job the stress is so dam high with staff issues and firings and huge mistakes.. WELL we have gotten to a point most of us say out loud alot of stuff like hey now look at that I just scrtewed that up and NOW... and it is serious stuff people are our thing.
so we move on and try not to beat one another up and continue to care.
it is when no one cares that the love and service will stop. NOT when mistakes are made.
we do not lose when we error we lose when we stop trying.
There's a balance to both. We're all human, we all go through different and some same things. But we are individuals still no matter what. What may make you condemn yourself wouldn't another person...or what makes you feel righteous doesn't necessarily make another feel that way. We are all masterpieces, not paint-by-number-sets. So...I would say it's something you have to look internally at and find YOUR own balance within yourself. When you feel comfortable "in your own skin", then you will feel comfortable with what makes you, you, and you will be comfortable with your Maker.
cman - I do my best to live my life as honestly as I can. I am quick to acknowlege my mistakes and ask for forgiveness. I try not to hurt anyone purposely. If and when I do hurt someone I admit it and make amends. I work hard to keep my character intact.
Remembering that you can err keeps you humble - hence no self righteousness. Asking for forgiveness helps keep self condemnation at bay.
From what I remember - the balance lies in how you deal with your head and your heart when you make a mistake that counts.
A big "Amen" on TheEvan's reply! Cman – great topic for folks that have escaped the tyranny of TWI's mental bondage. Although, the struggle you mention is not peculiar to TWI-followers – it is something that all Christians wrestle with on a regular basis. However, being a Christian in TWI's arena – puts one at a severe disadvantage. Some of the "rules" are changed and sometimes the wrestlers have their hands or feet tied [which really can hamper your dance moves as evidenced by Athletes of the Spirit].
Great counsel offered here by everyone! I think what folks have said here is more in line with what the Christian walk is like. We're all human – or as I heard someone once say "we're all Bozos on the same bus." A passage of Scripture that has often inspired me is Romans 7:7-8:17 [Oh look! It just happens to be below – "Posted here by the Gideons"]. It begins by revealing Paul's constant inner conflict – evaluating himself against the righteous standard of God's law – realizing how far short he falls by comparison! MacArthur Study Bible comments on Romans 7:24 Paul realizing what a wretched man he was by noting "A believer perceives his own sinfulness in direct proportion to how clearly he sees the holiness of God and perfection of His law."
…We are in a constant struggle with sin and our sinful nature – we are fallen creatures. The law of God is good, holy, and righteous but the weakness of our flesh only makes sin and death out of it. Like Martin Luther entrenched in working for righteousness - reading Romans one day and realizing justification was by FAITH ALONE – I was struck by the juxtaposition of TWI's way of handling this struggle and Scripture's way. TWI's agenda was the standard by which to live and evaluate our lives [a cheap imitation of God's law in Romans 7] and to appease our troubled souls offered a sedative to the conscience [instead of empowering us to handle the battle by the power of the Spirit in Romans 8].
Romans 7:7 to Romans 8:17 NIV
7:7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
8:1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
IF I can add in here a little that I've learned post TWI, is that, the law is what drove men back to bondage, which included looking away unto Idols, not looking at what CHrist did for them. It was betwixting and minimizing through words that brought them back to bondage...When I left TWI, I took a 16 wk class on Galatians(yes, taught by a extwi Minister). I cried when I sat through the class, I realized where the LIE had betwixed me....
My Grandpappy told me once that I would have good days and I will have bad days. Man aint that true.
Right on fellowshipper! One of the best posters I've ever seen was on the wall of a printer I once knew. It was a photograph of a cow in a cow pasture and lots of little patties in the field and it read:
SOME DAYS YOU STEP IN IT AND SOME DAYS YOU DON'T.
The two forms of free therapy that I usually recommend to all ex-twi who ask are GS Cafe (of course) and Al Anon. Why? In twi, we were taught to develop co dependent relationships with leadership that were self destructive; in Al Anon, we are taught to establish boundaries with other people, how to detach with love, to understand that we as members of the human race are imperfect and to accept that (once we go easier on ourselves we automatically let up on others), to accept that we can't change others and to stop trying, to take steps to change our old ways of thinking for healthier ways of thinking, and most importantly how to love ourselves and be good to ourselves. Oh, and to stop thinking it's our business to "fix" everyone else. The only people we can fix is ourselves and that is a process. Prayer is encouraged and part of the program.
Accepting who we can't change is key (everyone but ourselves).
Hope you find the mental freedom and peace that you are looking for, dear cman.
Human beings are imperfect and because of that we have to accept that we will, this is a definite, make mistakes. When we do we can learn something. We all learn that way. To feel badly about it is not to be grateful for the lesson. We all, alcoholics or not, have to pick ourselves up one foot at a time and walk the next day. Just do the next right thing and hopefully the lessons will stick.
The acceptance piece is the one I work on all of the time, too, cman, if it helps any. Combatting perfectionism has been a life long battle for me, but it is getting easier.
Counseling is also a great thing. Most Christian counselors have a sliding rate scale based on income. I don't know if that would help or hurt you (depending on how much you make), but I highly recommend it!
Im righteous, you know God says I am, and i also feel good about what I do and who I am. for the most part.
so i do not have a problem thinking IM ok r "self right" , i believe if i do not believe in my rightness who ever i can help will not be able to , to believe it is possible I can help.
If i do not think im ok I cant ask for help when IM NOT!!!
you know?
my spin on God may be different from many christians, see I think God truly loves me even while a sinner!
truly it is written as such right?
so I may have a "bad day" fall short of everyones exspectation But HIS.
and as long as I know the LORD is with me i will find another who will help me understand for a better day.
and in that day I can look and pray for those who need His light also to me this is how the LORD loves each of us and what makes being a follower of christ so handy and wonderful.
Human beings are imperfect and because of that we have to accept that we will, this is a definite, make mistakes. When we do we can learn something. We all learn that way. To feel badly about it is not to be grateful for the lesson. We all, alcoholics or not, have to pick ourselves up one foot at a time and walk the next day. Just do the next right thing and hopefully the lessons will stick.
Good points wb. I think that's the whole deal and point that we do make mistakes because of the great learning that comes from it. As long as we can pull our head out of you know where and take an honest look at what took place and the variables involved.
pond-
Yes it's nice to be right, but right in one circumstance may not be right in another so we must always be vigilant and watchful or the right may be wrong. And what was wrong in one place may be right in another.
---
I do know I'm not perfect and make mistakes and get some things right. I guess it's the feelings that they inspire is what I'm talking about.
Looking to tap into humbleness and meekness more I reckon. To keep the balance and know that all things work together and I didn't plan all these things. They just happen, life just happens without warning.
Man ,I would also like to say that after hitting 51, I have learned that if I do something wrong. To myself or others is to "own up to it" I am saying I own this yea or nea thing. It gives me peace to own it. But most of all learn to laugh at yourself and accept who we are.
I have learned all of my life since a little youngster that everyone will tell you their opinion of you of what you should do or not do. S-rew that. Alls the while their little perfect life is more messed than mine. I either get in their face or melt it, depending on the severity of request they mention and meddle that I change to their standards which is unfounded. I think this is (Away from TWI 101) I am fed up with it, of what you were exposed just as you are. Learn to say SHUT UP,Step off, Bugger off. I beyond me, do not know why when we are humble towards others it creates some kind a vacuum like a sign someone puts on your back to kick me. I just don't think us Christians should cower down to others or our own mind of what we really know of our position in CHrist. These people or thoughts don't cower down to us but prey. Go on a vacation do something my brother just don't take it any more.
I think the self condemnation is a self-pity and worrying about what others think.
Similarly self righteousness relates to how we think others perceive us.
I think you hit the nail on the head, Cman. I think the vast majority of the population are thinking of themselves, and unless we do something huge to help or hinder many people, like Dr. Martin Luthur King, Jr. or Adolf Hitler, people just move on. I think we tend to make ourselves more important than what we are. It helps me to remember that I am just a very small part of a much greater whole.
Recommended Posts
excathedra
i've never done anything right
what was the question ?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cman
hi exc, i've seen you say some right on things
the question is
how do we keep ourselves out of self-condemnation and self-righteousness
Link to comment
Share on other sites
potato
I do it by remembering that I'm human.
some days I remind myself over and over that I no longer answer to anyone in twi, and I'm not the judge of anyone else.
I work really hard at being kind to my kids, and make light of their goofy screw ups so they don't grow up to be messed up in the head like me.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nottawayfer
I remind myself that I don't have all the answers (like wayfers think they do), and that is perfectly OK.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cman
Thanks for your responses they do help.
Although I do think a lot of came from the way.
It still hangs around sometimes. Not all the time.
Cause I know I'm nothing with out God.
And when I screw up I tend to analyze myself too much.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TheEvan
What's wrong with self-condemnation? If you do wrong you sure as heck want your conscience notifying you. If you do the 'no condemnation' thing enough to turn off your conscience you'll have to apply for a job as Way clergy. :o
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cman
Ha! Good point TheEvan.
But sometimes I still keep beating myself up even after apologizing and the apology is accepted.
Like I said I try to analyze myself too much and should just let it go cause I did all I could I believe.
And try to right the wrong thinking that got me to the point of making a mistake.
And I find answers even, and that helps the most, why I did or said what I did.
Just talking about it helps tremendously.
Edited by cmanLink to comment
Share on other sites
oenophile
Cman,
I am not a shining example of godliness by any stretch of the imagination but remembering that God is love and He has called to live in grace tells me it aint about me for good or ill...its all about allowing His love live in me. Otherwise, I strain at gnats (not to mention straining and stressing about my own life) and swallow camels. Love keeps all things in proper perspective and keeping love in proper perspective in my life is enough of a challenge to me. I need grace piled high upon grace in order to do that and still I miss it most of the time. Then out of the blue God somehow gets the message to me you need My grace and just allow Me to love you.
Peace,
Robin
P.S.
Love Wins.
Edited by oenophileLink to comment
Share on other sites
Lori
There are just times I have to take time for myself and just figure out things. I try to gain perspective by journaling. This helps me to gain insight I might not have had otherwise.
But I always remember I am only human, and I've learned not to beat myself up. I think I'm shedding the outerskins of twi thinking...you know standing approved before your leadership and others.
I try not to take any direction that makes me ill at ease. This is helped me to gain confidence.
I don't know if any of this helps you, but I thought I would share it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
fellowshipper
I concur with Oneophile (what does that name mean anyway). I often tell myself that we are all in the same boat with our frailties and shortcomings. Sin runs through our blood man. Like Paul said in Romans that I will not I do and that I will I do not, hence old man and new man. My Grandpappy told me once that I would have good days and I will have bad days. Man aint that true. It's always a balance and the worst mistakes I have made was when I was emotional unstable about something going on on the inside. I think knowing I condemn myself, from the unrealistic expectations teachings of TWI. Thank God I married a counsel to work through some of this junk I have suppressed for so many years. I just know with all of my heart I am forgiven and saved and everything else positive from the Vord is applicable but only if I claim it and wait for the river to calm down.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
pond
im a people person and I work a human service type job, which means when people make mistakes people get hurt.
tonite another employee said to me I have made alot of mistakes lately. it weighs on the head when you screw up and another suffers.
but then sometimes I look at it like this we are in the game man, we are giving it a go we are all just trying mistakes and all we are all just trying to help.
at my job the stress is so dam high with staff issues and firings and huge mistakes.. WELL we have gotten to a point most of us say out loud alot of stuff like hey now look at that I just scrtewed that up and NOW... and it is serious stuff people are our thing.
so we move on and try not to beat one another up and continue to care.
it is when no one cares that the love and service will stop. NOT when mistakes are made.
we do not lose when we error we lose when we stop trying.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
sogwap51
Cman:
There's a balance to both. We're all human, we all go through different and some same things. But we are individuals still no matter what. What may make you condemn yourself wouldn't another person...or what makes you feel righteous doesn't necessarily make another feel that way. We are all masterpieces, not paint-by-number-sets. So...I would say it's something you have to look internally at and find YOUR own balance within yourself. When you feel comfortable "in your own skin", then you will feel comfortable with what makes you, you, and you will be comfortable with your Maker.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
doojable
cman - I do my best to live my life as honestly as I can. I am quick to acknowlege my mistakes and ask for forgiveness. I try not to hurt anyone purposely. If and when I do hurt someone I admit it and make amends. I work hard to keep my character intact.
Remembering that you can err keeps you humble - hence no self righteousness. Asking for forgiveness helps keep self condemnation at bay.
From what I remember - the balance lies in how you deal with your head and your heart when you make a mistake that counts.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
T-Bone
A big "Amen" on TheEvan's reply! Cman – great topic for folks that have escaped the tyranny of TWI's mental bondage. Although, the struggle you mention is not peculiar to TWI-followers – it is something that all Christians wrestle with on a regular basis. However, being a Christian in TWI's arena – puts one at a severe disadvantage. Some of the "rules" are changed and sometimes the wrestlers have their hands or feet tied [which really can hamper your dance moves as evidenced by Athletes of the Spirit].
Great counsel offered here by everyone! I think what folks have said here is more in line with what the Christian walk is like. We're all human – or as I heard someone once say "we're all Bozos on the same bus." A passage of Scripture that has often inspired me is Romans 7:7-8:17 [Oh look! It just happens to be below – "Posted here by the Gideons"]. It begins by revealing Paul's constant inner conflict – evaluating himself against the righteous standard of God's law – realizing how far short he falls by comparison! MacArthur Study Bible comments on Romans 7:24 Paul realizing what a wretched man he was by noting "A believer perceives his own sinfulness in direct proportion to how clearly he sees the holiness of God and perfection of His law."
…We are in a constant struggle with sin and our sinful nature – we are fallen creatures. The law of God is good, holy, and righteous but the weakness of our flesh only makes sin and death out of it. Like Martin Luther entrenched in working for righteousness - reading Romans one day and realizing justification was by FAITH ALONE – I was struck by the juxtaposition of TWI's way of handling this struggle and Scripture's way. TWI's agenda was the standard by which to live and evaluate our lives [a cheap imitation of God's law in Romans 7] and to appease our troubled souls offered a sedative to the conscience [instead of empowering us to handle the battle by the power of the Spirit in Romans 8].
Romans 7:7 to Romans 8:17 NIV
7:7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
8:1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Edited by T-BoneLink to comment
Share on other sites
likeaneagle
IF I can add in here a little that I've learned post TWI, is that, the law is what drove men back to bondage, which included looking away unto Idols, not looking at what CHrist did for them. It was betwixting and minimizing through words that brought them back to bondage...When I left TWI, I took a 16 wk class on Galatians(yes, taught by a extwi Minister). I cried when I sat through the class, I realized where the LIE had betwixed me....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waterbuffalo
Right on fellowshipper! One of the best posters I've ever seen was on the wall of a printer I once knew. It was a photograph of a cow in a cow pasture and lots of little patties in the field and it read:
SOME DAYS YOU STEP IN IT AND SOME DAYS YOU DON'T.
The two forms of free therapy that I usually recommend to all ex-twi who ask are GS Cafe (of course) and Al Anon. Why? In twi, we were taught to develop co dependent relationships with leadership that were self destructive; in Al Anon, we are taught to establish boundaries with other people, how to detach with love, to understand that we as members of the human race are imperfect and to accept that (once we go easier on ourselves we automatically let up on others), to accept that we can't change others and to stop trying, to take steps to change our old ways of thinking for healthier ways of thinking, and most importantly how to love ourselves and be good to ourselves. Oh, and to stop thinking it's our business to "fix" everyone else. The only people we can fix is ourselves and that is a process. Prayer is encouraged and part of the program.
Accepting who we can't change is key (everyone but ourselves).
Hope you find the mental freedom and peace that you are looking for, dear cman.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cman
yeah a lot of this hits home
waterbuffalo-yours is certainly helpful and what i'm facing daily
i'm goin to bring it up at my next aa meeting
some, more then one person has suggested that it's a bi-polar thing
as in mood swings
and could be true for some
but i don't think it's true for all who experience mood swings or
the subject of the thread
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waterbuffalo
Human beings are imperfect and because of that we have to accept that we will, this is a definite, make mistakes. When we do we can learn something. We all learn that way. To feel badly about it is not to be grateful for the lesson. We all, alcoholics or not, have to pick ourselves up one foot at a time and walk the next day. Just do the next right thing and hopefully the lessons will stick.
The acceptance piece is the one I work on all of the time, too, cman, if it helps any. Combatting perfectionism has been a life long battle for me, but it is getting easier.
Counseling is also a great thing. Most Christian counselors have a sliding rate scale based on income. I don't know if that would help or hurt you (depending on how much you make), but I highly recommend it!
Edited by waterbuffaloLink to comment
Share on other sites
pond
this self righteous thing is bothering me.
Im righteous, you know God says I am, and i also feel good about what I do and who I am. for the most part.
so i do not have a problem thinking IM ok r "self right" , i believe if i do not believe in my rightness who ever i can help will not be able to , to believe it is possible I can help.
If i do not think im ok I cant ask for help when IM NOT!!!
you know?
my spin on God may be different from many christians, see I think God truly loves me even while a sinner!
truly it is written as such right?
so I may have a "bad day" fall short of everyones exspectation But HIS.
and as long as I know the LORD is with me i will find another who will help me understand for a better day.
and in that day I can look and pray for those who need His light also to me this is how the LORD loves each of us and what makes being a follower of christ so handy and wonderful.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cman
Good points wb. I think that's the whole deal and point that we do make mistakes because of the great learning that comes from it. As long as we can pull our head out of you know where and take an honest look at what took place and the variables involved.
pond-
Yes it's nice to be right, but right in one circumstance may not be right in another so we must always be vigilant and watchful or the right may be wrong. And what was wrong in one place may be right in another.
---
I do know I'm not perfect and make mistakes and get some things right. I guess it's the feelings that they inspire is what I'm talking about.
Looking to tap into humbleness and meekness more I reckon. To keep the balance and know that all things work together and I didn't plan all these things. They just happen, life just happens without warning.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
fellowshipper
Man ,I would also like to say that after hitting 51, I have learned that if I do something wrong. To myself or others is to "own up to it" I am saying I own this yea or nea thing. It gives me peace to own it. But most of all learn to laugh at yourself and accept who we are.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cman
I think the self condemnation is a self-pity and worrying about what others think.
Similarly self righteousness relates to how we think others perceive us.
Some who posted said these things so it's helping that I could post these thoughts.
It's one thing to think it but to say it, preferably face to face with someone trustworthy.
But here at GSC is a good place too, cause you guys know a lot of what I'm saying already.
I also hope this all helps each other too.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
fellowshipper
I have learned all of my life since a little youngster that everyone will tell you their opinion of you of what you should do or not do. S-rew that. Alls the while their little perfect life is more messed than mine. I either get in their face or melt it, depending on the severity of request they mention and meddle that I change to their standards which is unfounded. I think this is (Away from TWI 101) I am fed up with it, of what you were exposed just as you are. Learn to say SHUT UP,Step off, Bugger off. I beyond me, do not know why when we are humble towards others it creates some kind a vacuum like a sign someone puts on your back to kick me. I just don't think us Christians should cower down to others or our own mind of what we really know of our position in CHrist. These people or thoughts don't cower down to us but prey. Go on a vacation do something my brother just don't take it any more.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
VeganXTC
I think you hit the nail on the head, Cman. I think the vast majority of the population are thinking of themselves, and unless we do something huge to help or hinder many people, like Dr. Martin Luthur King, Jr. or Adolf Hitler, people just move on. I think we tend to make ourselves more important than what we are. It helps me to remember that I am just a very small part of a much greater whole.
Edited by VeganXTCLink to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.